For
Whom the Bell Tolls By Ernest
Hemingway No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe;
every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the
maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as
if a Promontorie
were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death
diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to
know
for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. —John
Donne 1 He lay flat on the brown, pine-needled floor
of the forest, his chin on his folded arms, and
high overhead the wind blew in the tops of the pine trees. The mountainside
sloped gently
where he lay; but below it was steep and he could see the dark of the oiled
road winding
through the pass. There was a stream alongside the road and far down the pass
he saw a mill beside the stream and the falling water of the dam, white in
the summer
sunlight. “Is
that the mill?” he asked. “Yes.”
“I
do not remember it.” “It
was built since you were here. The old mill is farther down; much below the
pass.” He
spread the photostated military map out on the forest floor and looked at it carefully.
The old man looked over his shoulder. He was a short and solid old man in a black
peasant’s smock and gray iron-stiff trousers and he wore rope-soled shoes. He
was
breathing heavily from the climb and his hand rested on one of the two heavy
packs they
had been carrying. “Then
you cannot see the bridge from here.” “No,”
the old man said. “This is the easy country of the pass where the stream
flows gently.
Below, where the road turns out of sight in the trees, it drops suddenly and
there is
a steep gorge—” “I
remember.” “Across
this gorge is the bridge.” “And
where are their posts?” “There
is a post at the mill that you see there.” The
young man, who was studying the country, took his glasses from the pocket of
his faded,
khaki flannel shirt, wiped the lenses with a handkerchief, screwed the
eyepieces around
until the boards of the mill showed suddenly clearly and he saw the wooden bench
beside the door; the huge pile of sawdust that rose behind the open shed
where the
circular saw was, and a stretch of the flume that brought the logs down from
the mountainside
on the other bank of the stream. The stream showed clear and smooth- looking
in the glasses and, below the curl of the falling water, the spray from the
dam was
blowing in the wind. “There
is no sentry.” “There
is smoke coming from the millhouse,” the old man said. “There are also
clothes hanging
on a line.” “I
see them but I do not see any sentry.” “Perhaps
he is in the shade,” the old man explained. “It is hot there now. He would be
in
the shadow at the end we do not see.” “Probably.
Where is the next post?” “Below
the bridge. It is at the roadmender’s hut at kilometer five from the top of
the pass.”
“How
many men are here?” He pointed at the mill. “Perhaps
four and a corporal.” “And
below?” “More.
I will find out.” “And
at the bridge?” “Always two. One at each end.” “We
will need a certain number of men,” he said. “How many men can you get?” “I
can bring as many men as you wish,” the old man said. “There are many men now
here
in the hills.” “How
many?” “There
are more than a hundred. But they are in small bands. How many men will you need?”
“I
will let you know when we have studied the bridge.” “Do
you wish to study it now?” “No.
Now I wish to go to where we will hide this explosive until it is time. I
would like to have
it hidden in utmost security at a distance no greater than half an hour from
the bridge,
if that is possible.” “That
is simple,” the old man said. “From where we are going, it will all be
downhill to the
bridge. But now we must climb a little in seriousness to get there. Are you
hungry?” “Yes,”
the young man said. “But we will eat later. How are you called? I have forgotten.”
It was a bad sign to him that he had forgotten. “Anselmo,”
the old man said. “I am called Anselmo and I come from Barco de Avila. Let
me help you with that pack.” The
young man, who was tall and thin, with sun-streaked fair hair, and a wind-
and sun-burned
face, who wore the sun-faded flannel shirt, a pair of peasant’s trousers and rope-soled
shoes, leaned over, put his arm through one of the leather pack straps and swung
the heavy pack up onto his shoulders. He worked his arm through the other
strap and
settled the weight of the pack against his back. His shirt was still wet from
where the pack
had rested. “I
have it up now,” he said. “How do we go?” “We
climb,” Anselmo said. Bending
under the weight of the packs, sweating, they climbed steadily in the pine forest
that covered the mountainside. There was no trail that the young man could
see, but
they were working up and around the face of the mountain and now they crossed
a small
stream and the old man went steadily on ahead up the edge of the rocky stream
bed.
The climbing now was steeper and more difficult, until finally the stream
seemed to drop
down over the edge of a smooth granite ledge that rose above them and the old
man
waited at the foot of the ledge for the young man to come up to him. “How
are you making it?” “All
right,” the young man said. He was sweating heavily and his thigh muscles
were twitchy
from the steepness of the climb. “Wait
here now for me. I go ahead to warn them. You do not want to be shot at carrying
that stuff.” “Not
even in a joke,” the young man said. “Is it far?” “It
is very close. How do they call thee?” “Roberto,”
the young man answered. He had slipped the pack off and lowered it gently down
between two boulders by the stream bed. “Wait
here, then, Roberto, and I will return for you.” “Good,”
the young man said. “But do you plan to go down this way to the bridge?” “No.
When we go to the bridge it will be by another way. Shorter and easier.” “I
do not want this material to be stored too far from the bridge.” “You
will see. If you are not satisfied, we will take another place.” “We
will see,” the young man said. He
sat by the packs and watched the old man climb the ledge. It was not hard to
climb and
from the way he found hand-holds without searching for them the young man
could see
that he had climbed it many times before. Yet whoever was above had been very
careful
not to leave any trail. The
young man, whose name was Robert Jordan, was extremely hungry and he was worried.
He was often hungry but he was not usually worried because he did not give any
importance to what happened to himself and he knew from experience how simple
it was
to move behind the enemy lines in all this country. It was as simple to move
behind them
as it was to cross through them, if you had a good guide. It was only giving importance
to what happened to you if you were caught that made it difficult; that and deciding
whom to trust. You had to trust the people you worked with completely or not
at all,
and you had to make decisions about the trusting. He was not worried about
any of that.
But there were other things. This
Anselmo had been a good guide and he could travel wonderfully in the mountains.
Robert Jordan could walk well enough himself and he knew from following him
since before daylight that the old man could walk him to death. Robert Jordan
trusted
the man, Anselmo, so far, in everything except judgment. He had not yet had
an opportunity
to test his judgment, and, anyway, the judgment was his own responsibility. No,
he did not worry about Anselmo and the problem of the bridge was no more
difficult than
many other problems. He knew how to blow any sort of bridge that you could
name and
he had blown them of all sizes and constructions. There was enough explosive
and all
equipment in the two packs to blow this bridge properly even if it were twice
as big as Anselmo
reported it, as he remembered it when he had walked over it on his way to La Granja
on a walking trip in 1933, and as Golz had read him the description of it
night before
last in that upstairs room in the house outside of the Escorial. “To
blow the bridge is nothing,” Golz had said, the lamplight on his scarred,
shaved head,
pointing with a pencil on the big map. “You understand?” “Yes,
I understand.” “Absolutely
nothing. Merely to blow the bridge is a failure.” “Yes,
Comrade General.” “To
blow the bridge at a stated hour based on the time set for the attack is how
it should
be done. You see that naturally. That is your right and how it should be
done.” Golz
looked at the pencil, then tapped his teeth with it. Robert
Jordan had said nothing. “You
understand that is your right and how it should be done,” Golz went on,
looking at
him and nodding his head. He tapped on the map now with the pencil. “That is
how I should
do it. That is what we cannot have.” “Why,
Comrade General?” “Why?”
Golz said, angrily. “How many attacks have you seen and you ask me why? What
is to guarantee that my orders are not changed? What is to guarantee that the
attack
is not annulled? What is to guarantee that the attack is not postponed? What
is to guarantee
that it starts within six hours of when it should start? Has any attack ever been
as it should?” “It
will start on time if it is your attack,” Robert Jordan said. “They
are never my attacks,” Golz said. “I make them. But they are not mine. The artillery
is not mine. I must put in for it. I have never been given what I ask for
even when
they have it to give. That is the least of it. There are other things. You
know how those
people are. It is not necessary to go into all of it. Always there is
something. Always
some one will interfere. So now be sure you understand.” “So
when is the bridge to be blown?” Robert Jordan had asked. “After
the attack starts. As soon as the attack has started and not before. So that
no reinforcements
will come up over that road.” He pointed with his pencil. “I must know that
nothing will come up over that road.” “And
when is the attack?” “I
will tell you. But you are to use the date and hour only as an indication of
a probability.
You must be ready for that time. You will blow the bridge after the attack
has started.
You see?” he indicated with the pencil. “That is the only road on which they
can bring
up reinforcements. That is the only road on which they can get up tanks, or artillery,
or even move a truck toward the pass which I attack. I must know that bridge
is gone.
Not before, so it can be repaired if the attack is postponed. No. It must go
when the
attack starts and I must know it is gone. There are only two sentries. The
man who will
go with you has just come from there. He is a very reliable man, they say.
You will see.
He has people in the mountains. Get as many men as you need. Use as few as possible,
but use enough. I do not have to tell you these things.” “And
how do I determine that the attack has started?” “It
is to be made with a full division. There will be an aerial bombardment as preparation.
You are not deaf, are you?” “Then
I may take it that when the planes unload, the attack has started?” “You
could not always take it like that,” Golz said and shook his head. “But in
this case,
you may. It is my attack.” “I
understand it,” Robert Jordan had said. “I do not say I like it very much.” “Neither
do I like it very much. If you do not want to undertake it, say so now. If
you think
you cannot do it, say so now.” “I
will do it,” Robert Jordan had said. “I will do it all right.” “That
is all I have to know,” Golz said. “That nothing comes up over that bridge.
That is absolute.”
“I
understand.” “I
do not like to ask people to do such things and in such a way,” Golz went on.
“I could
not order you to do it. I understand what you may be forced to do through my putting
such conditions. I explain very carefully so that you understand and that you
understand
all of the possible difficulties and the importance.” “And
how will you advance on La Granja if that bridge is blown?” “We
go forward prepared to repair it after we have stormed the pass. It is a very
complicated
and beautiful operation. As complicated and as beautiful as always. The plan
has been manufactured in Madrid. It is another of Vicente Rojo, the
unsuccessful professor’s,
masterpieces. I make the attack and I make it, as always, not in sufficient force.
It is a very possible operation, in spite of that. I am much happier about it
than usual.
It can be successful with that bridge eliminated. We can take Segovia. Look,
I show
you how it goes. You see? It is not the top of the pass where we attack. We
hold that.
It is much beyond. Look— Here— Like this—” “I
would rather not know,” Robert Jordan said. “Good,”
said Golz. “It is less of baggage to carry with you on the other side, yes?” “I
would always rather not know. Then, no matter what can happen, it was not me
that talked.”
“It
is better not to know,” Golz stroked his forehead with the pencil. “Many
times I wish I
did not know myself. But you do know the one thing you must know about the
bridge?” “Yes.
I know that.” “I
believe you do,” Golz said. “I will not make you any little speech. Let us
now have a drink.
So much talking makes me very thirsty, Comrade Hordan. You have a funny name
in Spanish, Comrade Hordown.” “How
do you say Golz in Spanish, Comrade General?” “Hotze,”
said Golz grinning, making the sound deep in his throat as though hawking with
a bad cold. “Hotze,” he croaked. “Comrade Heneral Khotze. If I had known how they
pronounced Golz in Spanish I would pick me out a better name before I come to
war
here. When I think I come to command a division and I can pick out any name I
want
and I pick out Hotze. Heneral Hotze. Now it is too late to change. How do you
like partizan
work?” It was the Russian term for guerilla work behind the lines. “Very
much,” Robert Jordan said. He grinned. “It is very healthy in the open air.” “I
like it very much when I was your age, too,” Golz said. “They tell me you
blow bridges
very well. Very scientific. It is only hearsay. I have never seen you do
anything myself.
Maybe nothing ever happens really. You really blow them?” he was teasing now.
“Drink
this,” he handed the glass of Spanish brandy to Robert Jordan. “You really
blow them?”
“Sometimes.”
“You
better not have any sometimes on this bridge. No, let us not talk any more
about this
bridge. You understand enough now about that bridge. We are very serious so
we can
make very strong jokes. Look, do you have many girls on the other side of the
lines?”
“No,
there is no time for girls.” “I
do not agree. The more irregular the service, the more irregular the life.
You have very
irregular service. Also you need a haircut.” “I
have my hair cut as it needs it,” Robert Jordan said. He would be damned if
he would
have his head shaved like Golz. “I have enough to think about without girls,”
he said
sullenly. “What
sort of uniform am I supposed to wear?” Robert Jordan asked. “None,”
Golz said. “Your haircut is all right. I tease you. You are very different
from me,”
Golz had said and filled up the glasses again. “You
never think about only girls. I never think at all. Why should I? I am Général
Sovietique.
I never think. Do not try to trap me into thinking.” Some
one on his staff, sitting on a chair working over a map on a drawing board, growled
at him in the language Robert Jordan did not understand. “Shut
up,” Golz had said, in English. “I joke if I want. I am so serious is why I
can joke. Now
drink this and then go. You understand, huh?” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan had said. “I understand.” They
had shaken hands and he had saluted and gone out to the staff car where the old
man was waiting asleep and in that car they had ridden over the road past Guadarrama,
the old man still asleep, and up the Navacerrada road to the Alpine Club hut
where he, Robert Jordan, slept for three hours before they started. That
was the last he had seen of Golz with his strange white face that never
tanned, his
hawk eyes, the big nose and thin lips and the shaven head crossed with
wrinkles and
with scars. Tomorrow night they would be outside the Escorial in the dark
along the road;
the long lines of trucks loading the infantry in the darkness; the men, heavy
loaded,
climbing up into the trucks; the machine-gun sections lifting their guns into
the trucks;
the tanks being run up on the skids onto the long-bodied tank trucks; pulling
the Division
out to move them in the night for the attack on the pass. He would not think about
that. That was not his business. That was Golz’s business. He had only one
thing to
do and that was what he should think about and he must think it out clearly
and take everything
as it came along, and not worry. To worry was as bad as to be afraid. It simply
made things more difficult. He
sat now by the stream watching the clear water flowing between the rocks and,
across
the stream, he noticed there was a thick bed of watercress. He crossed the stream,
picked a double handful, washed the muddy roots clean in the current and then
sat
down again beside his pack and ate the clean, cool green leaves and the
crisp, peppery-tasting
stalks. He knelt by the stream and, pushing his automatic pistol around on
his belt to the small of his back so that it would not be wet, he lowered
himself with a hand
on each of two boulders and drank from the stream. The water was achingly
cold. Pushing
himself up on his hands he turned his head and saw the old man coming down
the ledge. With him was another man, also in a black peasant’s smock and the dark
gray trousers that were almost a uniform in that province, wearing rope-soled
shoes
and with a carbine slung over his back. This man was bareheaded. The two of them
came scrambling down the rock like goats. They
came up to him and Robert Jordan got to his feet. “Salud,
Camarada,” he said to the man with the carbine and smiled. “Salud,”
the other said, grudgingly. Robert Jordan looked at the man’s heavy, beard- stubbled
face. It was almost round and his head was round and set close on his shoulders.
His eyes were small and set too wide apart and his ears were small and set close
to his head. He was a heavy man about five feet ten inches tall and his hands
and feet
were large. His nose had been broken and his mouth was cut at one corner and
the line
of the scar across the upper lip and lower jaw showed through the growth of
beard over
his face. The
old man nodded his head at this man and smiled. “He
is the boss here,” he grinned, then flexed his arms as though to make the
muscles stand
out and looked at the man with the carbine in a half-mocking admiration. “A
very strong
man.” “I
can see it,” Robert Jordan said and smiled again. He did not like the look of
this man and
inside himself he was not smiling at all. “What
have you to justify your identity?” asked the man with the carbine. Robert
Jordan unpinned a safety pin that ran through his pocket flap and took a
folded paper
out of the left breast pocket of his flannel shirt and handed it to the man,
who opened
it, looked at it doubtfully and turned it in his hands. So
he cannot read, Robert Jordan noted. “Look
at the seal,” he said. The
old man pointed to the seal and the man with the carbine studied it, turning
it in his
fingers. “What
seal is that?” “Have
you never seen it?” “No.”
“There
are two,” said Robert Jordan. “One is S. I. M., the service of the military intelligence.
The other is the General Staff.” “Yes,
I have seen that seal before. But here no one commands but me,” the other
said sullenly.
“What have you in the packs?” “Dynamite,”
the old man said proudly. “Last night we crossed the lines in the dark and all
day we have carried this dynamite over the mountain.” “I
can use dynamite,” said the man with the carbine. He handed back the paper to
Robert
Jordan and looked him over. “Yes. I have use for dynamite. How much have you brought
me?” “I
have brought you no dynamite,” Robert Jordan said to him evenly. “The
dynamite is for
another purpose. What is your name?” “What
is that to you?” “He
is Pablo,” said the old man. The man with the carbine looked at them both sullenly.
“Good.
I have heard much good of you,” said Robert Jordan. “What
have you heard of me?” asked Pablo. “I
have heard that you are an excellent guerilla leader, that you are loyal to
the republic
and prove your loyalty through your acts, and that you are a man both serious
and
valiant. I bring you greetings from the General Staff.” “Where
did you hear all this?” asked Pablo. Robert Jordan registered that he was not
taking
any of the flattery. “I
heard it from Buitrago to the Escorial,” he said, naming all the stretch of
country on the
other side of the lines. “I
know no one in Buitrago nor in Escorial,” Pablo told him. “There
are many people on the other side of the mountains who were not there before.
Where
are you from?” “Avila.
What are you going to do with the dynamite?” “Blow
up a bridge.” “What
bridge?” “That
is my business.” “If
it is in this territory, it is my business. You cannot blow bridges close to
where you live.
You must live in one place and operate in another. I know my business. One
who is alive,
now, after a year, knows his business.” “This
is my business,” Robert Jordan said. “We can discuss it together. Do you wish
to help
us with the sacks?” “No,”
said Pablo and shook his head. The
old man turned toward him suddenly and spoke rapidly and furiously in a
dialect that
Robert Jordan could just follow. It was like reading Quevedo. Anselmo was speaking
old Castilian and it went something like this, “Art thou a brute? Yes. Art
thou a beast?
Yes, many times Hast thou a brain? Nay. None. Now we come for something of consummate
importance and thee, with thy dwelling place to be undisturbed, puts thy fox-hole
before the interests of humanity. Before the interests of thy people. I this
and that
in the this and that of thy father. I this and that and that in thy this.
Pick up that bag.” Pablo
looked down. “Every
one has to do what he can do according to how it can be truly done,” he said.
“I live
here and I operate beyond Segovia. If you make a disturbance here, we will be
hunted
out of these mountains. It is only by doing nothing here that we are able to
live in these
mountains. It is the principle of the fox.” “Yes,”
said Anselmo bitterly. “It is the principle of the fox when we need the wolf.”
“I
am more wolf than thee,” Pablo said and Robert Jordan knew that he would pick
up the
sack. “Hi.
Ho. . . ,” Anselmo looked at him. “Thou art more wolf than me and I am
sixty-eight years
old.” He
spat on the ground and shook his head. “You
have that many years?” Robert Jordan asked, seeing that now, for the moment, it
would be all right and trying to make it go easier. “Sixty-eight
in the month of July.” “If
we should ever see that month,” said Pablo. “Let me help you with the pack,”
he said
to Robert Jordan. “Leave the other to the old man.” He spoke, not sullenly,
but almost
sadly now. “He is an old man of great strength.” “I
will carry the pack,” Robert Jordan said. “Nay,”
said the old man. “Leave it to this other strong man.” “I
will take it,” Pablo told him, and in his sullenness there was a sadness that
was disturbing
to Robert Jordan. He knew that sadness and to see it here worried him. “Give
me the carbine then,” he said and when Pablo handed it to him, he slung it over
his
back and, with the two men climbing ahead of him, they went heavily, pulling
and climbing
up the granite shelf and over its upper edge to where there was a green clearing
in the forest. They
skirted the edge of the little meadow and Robert Jordan, striding easily now without
the pack, the carbine pleasantly rigid over his shoulder after the heavy,
sweating pack
weight, noticed that the grass was cropped down in several places and signs
that picket
pins had been driven into the earth. He could see a trail through the grass
where horses
had been led to the stream to drink and there was the fresh manure of several
horses.
They picket them here to feed at night and keep them out of sight in the
timber in
the daytime, he thought. I wonder how many horses this Pablo has? He
remembered now noticing, without realizing it, that Pablo’s trousers were
worn soapy
shiny in the knees and thighs. I wonder if he has a pair of boots or if he
rides in those
alpargatas, he thought. He must have quite an outfit. But I don’t like that
sadness, he
thought. That sadness is bad. That’s the sadness they get before they quit or
before they
betray. That is the sadness that comes before the sell-out. Ahead
of them a horse whinnied in the timber and then, through the brown trunks of the
pine trees, only a little sunlight coming down through their thick,
almost-touching tops,
he saw the corral made by roping around the tree trunks. The horses had their
heads
pointed toward the men as they approached, and at the foot of a tree, outside
the corral,
the saddles were piled together and covered with a tarpaulin. As
they came up, the two men with the packs stopped, and Robert Jordan knew it
was for
him to admire the horses. “Yes,”
he said. “They are beautiful.” He turned to Pablo. “You have your cavalry and
all.”
There
were five horses in the rope corral, three bays, a sorrel, and a buckskin.
Sorting them
out carefully with his eyes after he had seen them first together, Robert
Jordan looked
them over individually. Pablo and Anselmo knew how good they were and while Pablo
stood now proud and less sad-looking, watching them lovingly, the old man
acted as
though they were some great surprise that he had produced, suddenly, himself.
“How
do they look to you?” he asked. “All these I have taken,” Pablo said and
Robert Jordan was pleased to hear him speak proudly.
“That,”
said Robert Jordan, pointing to one of the bays, a big stallion with a white
blaze on
his forehead and a single white foot, the near front, “is much horse.” He
was a beautiful horse that looked as though he had come out of a painting by Velasquez.
“They
are all good,” said Pablo. “You know horses?” “Yes.”
“Less
bad,” said Pablo. “Do you see a defect in one of these?” Robert
Jordan knew that now his papers were being examined by the man who could not
read. The
horses all still had their heads up looking at the man. Robert Jordan slipped
through
between the double rope of the corral and slapped the buckskin on the haunch.
He
leaned back against the ropes of the enclosure and watched the horses circle
the corral,
stood watching them a minute more, as they stood still, then leaned down and came
out through the ropes. “The
sorrel is lame in the off hind foot,” he said to Pablo, not looking at him.
“The hoof is
split and although it might not get worse soon if shod properly, she could
break down if
she travels over much hard ground.” “The
hoof was like that when we took her,” Pablo said. “The
best horse that you have, the white-faced bay stallion, has a swelling on the
upper
part of the cannon bone that I do not like.” “It
is nothing,” said Pablo. “He knocked it three days ago. If it were to be
anything it would
have become so already.” He
pulled back the tarpaulin and showed the saddles. There were two ordinary vaquero’s
or herdsman’s saddles, like American stock saddles, one very ornate vaquero’s
saddle, with hand-tooled leather and heavy, hooded stirrups, and two military
saddles
in black leather. “We
killed a pair of guardia civil,” he said, explaining the military saddles. “That
is big game.” “They
had dismounted on the road between Segovia and Santa Maria del Real. They had
dismounted to ask papers of the driver of a cart. We were able to kill them
without injuring
the horses.” “Have
you killed many civil guards?” Robert Jordan asked. “Several,”
Pablo said. “But only these two without injury to the horses.” “It
was Pablo who blew up the train at Arevalo,” Anselmo said. “That was Pablo.” “There
was a foreigner with us who made the explosion,” Pablo said. “Do you know him?”
“What
is he called?” “I
do not remember. It was a very rare name.” “What
did he look like?” “He
was fair, as you are, but not as tall and with large hands and a broken
nose.” “Kashkin,”
Robert Jordan said. “That would be Kashkin.” “Yes,”
said Pablo. “It was a very rare name. Something like that. What has become of
him?”
“He
is dead since April.” “That
is what happens to everybody,” Pablo said, gloomily. “That is the way we will
all finish.”
“That
is the way all men end,” Anselmo said. “That is the way men have always ended.
What is the matter with you, man? What hast thou in the stomach?” “They
are very strong,” Pablo said. It was as though he were talking to himself. He
looked
at the horses gloomily. “You do not realize how strong they are. I see them always
stronget always better armed. Always with more material. Here am I with
horses like
these. And what can I look forward to? To be hunted and to die. Nothing
more.” “You
hunt as much as you are hunted,” Anselmo said. “No,” said Pablo. “Not any more. And if we
leave these mountains now, where can we go?
Answer me that? Where now?” “In
Spain there are many mountains. There are the Sierra de Gredos if one leaves here.”
“Not
for me,” Pablo said. “I am tired of being hunted. Here we are all right. Now
if you blow
a bridge here, we will be hunted. If they know we are here and hunt for us with
planes,
they will find us. If they send Moors to hunt us out, they will find us and
we must go.
I am tired of all this. You hear?” He turned to Robert Jordan. “What right
have you, a foreigner,
to come to me and tell me what I must do?” “I
have not told you anything you must do,” Robert Jordan said to him. “You
will though,” Pablo said. “There. There is the badness.” He
pointed at the two heavy packs that they had lowered to the ground while they
had watched
the horses. Seeing the horses had seemed to bring this all to a head in him and
seeing that Robert Jordan knew horses had seemed to loosen his tongue. The three
of them stood now by the rope corral and the patchy sunlight shone on the
coat of the
bay stallion. Pablo looked at him and then pushed with his foot against the
heavy pack.
“There is the badness.” “I
come only for my duty,” Robert Jordan told him. “I come under orders from
those who
are conducting the war. If I ask you to help me, you can refuse and I will
find others who
will help me. I have not even asked you for help yet. I have to do what I am
ordered to
do and I can promise you of its importance. That I am a foreigner is not my
fault. I would
rather have been born here.” “To
me, now, the most important is that we be not disturbed here,” Pablo said.
“To me, now,
my duty is to those who are with me and to myself.” “Thyself.
Yes,” Anselmo said. “Thyself now since a long time. Thyself and thy horses. Until
thou hadst horses thou wert with us. Now thou art another capitalist more.” “That
is unjust,” said Pablo. “I expose the horses all the time for the cause.” “Very
little,” said Anselmo scornfully. “Very little in my judgment. To steal, yes.
To eat well,
yes. To murder, yes. To fight, no.” “You
are an old man who will make himself trouble with his mouth.” “I
am an old man who is afraid of no one,” Anselmo told him. “Also I am an old
man without
horses.” “You
are an old man who may not live long.” “I
am an old man who will live until I die,” Anselmo said. “And I am not afraid
of foxes.” Pablo
said nothing but picked up the pack. “Nor
of wolves either,” Anselmo said, picking up the other pack. “If thou art a
wolf.” “Shut
thy mouth,” Pablo said to him. “Thou art an old man who always talks too
much.” “And
would do whatever he said he would do,” Anselmo said, bent under the pack. “And
who now is hungry. And thirsty. Go on, guerilla leader with the sad face.
Lead us to something
to eat.” It
is starting badly enough, Robert Jordan thought. But Anselmo’s a man. They
are wonderful
when they are good, he thought. There is no people like them when they are good
and when they go bad there is no people that is worse. Anselmo must have
known what
he was doing when he brought us here. But I don’t like it. I don’t like any
of it. The
only good sign was that Pablo was carrying the pack and that he had given him
the
carbine. Perhaps he is always like that, Robert Jordan thought. Maybe he is
just one of
the gloomy ones. No,
he said to himself, don’t fool yourself. You do not know how he was before;
but you
do know that he is going bad fast and without hiding it. When he starts to
hide it he will
have made a decision. Remember that, he told himself. The first friendly
thing he does,
he will have made a decision. They are awfully good horses, though, he
thought, beautiful
horses. I wonder what could make me feel the way those horses make Pablo feel.
The old man was right. The horses made him rich and as soon as he was rich he
wanted
to enjoy life. Pretty soon he’ll feel bad because he can’t join the Jockey
Club, I guess,
he thought. Pauvre Pablo. Il a manqué son Jockey. That idea made him feel better. He grinned,
looking at the two bent backs and the big packs
ahead of him moving through the trees. He had not made any jokes with himself
all
day and now that he had made one he felt much better. You’re getting to be as
all the rest
of them, he told himself. You’re getting gloomy, too. He’d certainly been
solemn and gloomy
with Golz. The job had overwhelmed him a little. Slightly overwhelmed, he thought.
Plenty overwhelmed. Golz was gay and he had wanted him to be gay too before
he left, but he hadn’t been. All
the best ones, when you thought it over, were gay. It was much better to be
gay and
it was a sign of something too. It was like having immortality while you were
still alive.
That was a complicated one. There were not many of them left though. No,
there were
not many of the gay ones left. There were very damned few of them left. And
if you keep
on thinking like that, my boy, you won’t be left either. Turn off the
thinking now, old timer,
old comrade. You’re a bridge-blower now. Not a thinker. Man, I’m hungry, he thought.
I hope Pablo eats well. 2 They had come through the heavy timber to
the cup-shaped upper end of the little valley
and he saw where the camp must be under the rim-rock that rose ahead of them through
the trees. That
was the camp all right and it was a good camp. You did not see it at all
until you were
up to it and Robert Jordan knew it could not be spotted from the air. Nothing
would show
from above. It was as well hidden as a bear’s den. But it seemed to be little
better guarded.
He looked at it carefully as they came up. There
was a large cave in the rim-rock formation and beside the opening a man sat with
his back against the rock, his legs stretched out on the ground and his
carbine leaning
against the rock. He was cutting away on a stick with a knife and he stared
at them
as they came up, then went on whittling. “Hola,”
said the seated man. “What is this that comes?” “The
old man and a dynamiter,” Pablo told him and lowered the pack inside the entrance
to the cave. Anselmo lowered his pack, too, and Robert Jordan unslung the rifle
and leaned it against the rock. “Don’t
leave it so close to the cave,” the whittling man, who had blue eyes in a
dark, good-looking
lazy gypsy face, the color of smoked leather, said. “There’s a fire in there.”
“Get
up and put it away thyself,” Pablo said. “Put it by that tree.” The
gypsy did not move but said something unprintable, then, “Leave it there.
Blow thyself
up,” he said lazily. “Twill cure thy diseases.” “What
do you make?” Robert Jordan sat down by the gypsy. The gypsy showed him. It was
a figure four trap and he was whittling the crossbar for it. “For
foxes,” he said. “With a log for a dead-fall. It breaks their backs.” He
grinned at Jordan.
“Like this, see?” He made a motion of the framework of the trap collapsing,
the log
falling, then shook his head, drew in his hand, and spread his arms to show
the fox with
a broken back. “Very practical,” he explained. “He
catches rabbits,” Anselmo said. “He is a gypsy. So if he catches rabbits he
says it is
foxes. If he catches a fox he would say it was an elephant.” “And
if I catch an elephant?” the gypsy asked and showed his white teeth again and
winked
at Robert Jordan. “You’d
say it was a tank,” Anselmo told him. “I’ll
get a tank,” the gypsy told him. “I will get a tank. And you can say it is
what you please.”
“Gypsies
talk much and kill little,” Anselmo told him. The
gypsy winked at Robert Jordan and went on whittling. Pablo
had gone in out of sight in the cave. Robert Jordan hoped he had gone for
food. He
sat on the ground by the gypsy and the afternoon sunlight came down through
the tree
tops and was warm on his outstretched legs. He could smell food now in the
cave, the
smell of oil and of onions and of meat frying and his stomach moved with
hunger inside
of him. “We
can get a tank,” he said to the gypsy. “It is not too difficult.” “With
this?” the gypsy pointed toward the two sacks. “Yes,”
Robert Jordan told him. “I will teach you. You make a trap. It is not too
difficult.” “You
and me?” “Sure,”
said Robert Jordan. “Why not?” “Hey,”
the gypsy said to Anselmo. “Move those two sacks to where they will be safe, will
you? They’re valuable.” Anselmo
grunted. “I am going for wine,” he told Robert Jordan. Robert Jordan got up and
lifted the sacks away from the cave entrance and leaned them, one on each
side of a
tree trunk. He knew what was in them and he never liked to see them close
together. “Bring
a cup for me,” the gypsy told him. “Is
there wine?” Robert Jordan asked, sitting down again by the gypsy. “Wine?
Why not? A whole skinful. Half a skinful, anyway.” “And
what to eat?” “Everything,
man,” the gypsy said. “We eat like generals.” “And
what do gypsies do in the war?” Robert Jordan asked him. “They
keep on being gypsies.” “That’s
a good job.” “The
best,” the gypsy said. “How do they call thee?” “Roberto.
And thee?” “Rafael.
And this of the tank is serious?” “Surely.
Why not?” Anselmo
came out of the mouth of the cave with a deep stone basin full of red wine and
with his fingers through the handles of three cups. “Look,” he said. “They
have cups and
all.” Pablo came out behind them. “There
is food soon,” he said. “Do you have tobacco?” Robert
Jordan went over to the packs and opening one, felt inside an inner pocket
and brought
out one of the flat boxes of Russian cigarettes he had gotten at Golz’s headquarters.
He ran his thumbnail around the edge of the box and, opening the lid, handed
them to Pablo who took half a dozen. Pablo, holding them in one of his huge hands,
picked one up and looked at it against the light. They were long narrow cigarettes
with pasteboard cylinders for mouthpieces. “Much
air and little tobacco,” he said. “I know these. The other with the rare name
had them.”
“Kashkin,”
Robert Jordan said and offered the cigarettes to the gypsy and Anselmo, who
each took one. “Take
more,” he said and they each took another. He gave them each four more, they making
a double nod with the hand holding the cigarettes so that the cigarette
dipped its end
as a man salutes with a sword, to thank him. “Yes,”
Pablo said. “It was a rare name.” “Here
is the wine.” Anselmo dipped a cup out of the bowl and handed it to Robert Jordan,
then dipped for himself and the gypsy. “Is
there no wine for me?” Pablo asked. They were all sitting together by the
cave entrance.
Anselmo
handed him his cup and went into the cave for another. Coming out he leaned
over the bowl and dipped the cup full and they all touched cup edges. The
wine was good, tasting faintly resinous from the wineskin, but excellent,
light and clean
on his tongue. Robert Jordan drank it slowly, feeling it spread warmly
through his tiredness.
“The
food comes shortly,” Pablo said. “And this foreigner with the rare name, how
did he
die?” “He
was captured and he killed himself.” “How
did that happen?” “He was wounded and he did not wish to be a
prisoner.” “What
were the details?” “I
don’t know,” he lied. He knew the details very well and he knew they would
not make
good talking now. “He
made us promise to shoot him in case he were wounded at the business of the train
and should be unable to get away,” Pablo said. “He spoke in a very rare
manner.” He
must have been jumpy even then, Robert Jordan thought. Poor old Kashkin. “He
had a prejudice against killing himself,” Pablo said. “He told me that. Also
he had a
great fear of being tortured.” “Did
he tell you that, too?” Robert Jordan asked him. “Yes,”
the gypsy said. “He spoke like that to all of us.” “Were
you at the train, too?” “Yes.
All of us were at the train.” “He
spoke in a very rare manner,” Pablo said. “But he was very brave.” Poor
old Kashkin, Robert Jordan thought. He must have been doing more harm than good
around here. I wish I would have known he was that jumpy as far back as then.
They
should have Pulled him out. You can’t have people around doing this sort of
Work and
talking like that. That is no way to talk. Even if they accomplish their
mission they are
doing more harm than good, talking that sort of stuff. “He
was a little strange,” Robert Jordan said. “I think he was a little crazy.” “But
very dexterous at producing explosions,” the gypsy said. “And very brave.” “But
crazy,” Robert Jordan said. “In this you have to have very much head and be
very cold
in the head. That was no way to talk.” “And
you,” Pablo said. “If you are wounded in such a thing as this bridge, you
would be
willing to be left behind?” “Listen,”
Robert Jordan said and, leaning forward, he dipped himself another cup of the
wine. “Listen to me clearly. If ever I should have any little favors to ask
of any man, I will
ask him at the time.” “Good,”
said the gypsy approvingly. “In this way speak the good ones. Ah! Here it comes.”
“You
have eaten,” said Pablo. “And
I can eat twice more,” the gypsy told him. “Look now who brings it.” The
girl stooped as she came out of the cave mouth carrying the big iron cooking platter
and Robert Jordan saw her face turned at an angle and at the same time saw
the strange
thing about her. She smiled and said, “Hola, Comrade,” and Robert Jordan
said, “Salud,”
and was careful not to stare and not to look away. She set down the flat iron
platter
in front of him and he noticed her handsome brown hands. Now she looked him full
in the face and smiled. Her teeth were white in her brown face and her skin
and her eyes
were the same golden tawny brown. She had high cheekbones, merry eyes and a straight
mouth with full lips. Her hair was the golden brown of a grain field that has
been burned
dark in the sun but it was cut short all over her head so that it was but
little longer
than the fur on a beaver pelt. She smiled in Robert Jordan’s face and put her
brown
hand up and ran it over her head, flattening the hair which rose again as her
hand passed.
She has a beautiful face, Robert Jordan thought. She’d be beautiful if they hadn’t
cropped her hair. “That
is the way I comb it,” she said to Robert Jordan and laughed. “Go ahead and eat.
Don’t stare at me. They gave me this haircut in Valladolid. It’s almost grown
out now.”
She
sat down opposite him and looked at him. He looked back at her and she smiled
and
folded her hands together over her knees. Her legs slanted long and clean
from the open
cuffs of the trousers as she sat with her hands across her knees and he could
see the
shape of her small up-tilted breasts under the gray shirt. Every time Robert
Jordan looked
at her he could feel a thickness in his throat. “There
are no plates,” Anselmo said. “Use your own knife.” The girl had leaned four forks,
tines down, against the sides of the iron dish. They were all eating out of the platter, not
speaking, as is the Spanish custom. It was rabbit
cooked with onions and green peppers and there were chick peas in the red
wine sauce.
It was well cooked, the rabbit meat flaked off the bones, and the sauce was delicious.
Robert Jordan drank another cup of wine while he ate. The girl watched him all
through the meal. Every one else was watching his food and eating. Robert
Jordan wiped
up the last of the sauce in front of him with a piece of bread, piled the
rabbit bones
to one side, wiped the spot where they had been for sauce, then wiped his
fork clean
with the bread, wiped his knife and put it away and ate the bread. He leaned
over and
dipped his cup full of wine and the girl still watched him. Robert
Jordan drank half the cup of wine but the thickness still came in his throat when
he spoke to the girl. “How
art thou called?” he asked. Pablo looked at him quickly when he heard the
tone of
his voice. Then he got up and walked away. “Maria.
And thee?” “Roberto.
Have you been long in the mountains?” “Three
months.” “Three
months?” He looked at her hair, that was as thick and short and rippling when
she
passed her hand over it, now in embarrassment, as a grain field in the wind
on a hillside.
“It was shaved,” she said. “They shaved it regularly in the prison at
Valladolid. It has
taken three months to grow to this. I was on the train. They were taking me
to the south.
Many of the prisoners were caught after the train was blown up but I was not.
I came
With these.” “I
found her hidden in the rocks,” the gypsy said. “It was when we were leaving.
Man, but
this one was ugly. We took her along but many times I thought we would have
to leave
her.” “And
the other one who was with them at the train?” asked Maria. “The other blond one.
The foreigner. Where is he?” “Dead,”
Robert Jordan said. “In April.” “In
April? The train was in April.” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. “He died ten days after the train.” “Poor
man,” she said. “He was very brave. And you do that same business?” “Yes.”
“You
have done trains, too?” “Yes.
Three trains.” “Here?”
“In
Estremadura,” he said. “I was in Estremadura before I came here. We do very much
in Estremadura. There are many of us working in Estremadura.” “And
why do you come to these mountains now?” “I
take the place of the other blond one. Also I know this country from before
the movement.”
“You
know it well?” “No,
not really well. But I learn fast. I have a good map and I have a good
guide.” “The
old man,” she nodded. “The old man is very good.” “Thank
you,” Anselmo said to her and Robert Jordan realized suddenly that he and the
girl were not alone and he realized too that it was hard for him to look at
her because
it made his voice change so. He was violating the second rule of the two
rules for
getting on well with people that speak Spanish; give the men tobacco and
leave the women
alone; and he realized, very suddenly, that he did not care. There were so
many things
that he had not to care about, why should he care about that? “You
have a very beautiful face,” he said to Maria. “I wish I would have had the
luck to see
you before your hair was cut.” “It
will grow out,” she said. “In six months it will be long enough.” “You
should have seen her when we brought her from the train. She was so ugly it would
make you sick.” “Whose
woman are you?” Robert Jordan asked, trying not to pull out of it. “Are you Pablo’s?”
She
looked at him and laughed, then slapped him on the knee. “Of
Pablo? You have seen Pablo?” “Well,
then, of Rafael. I have seen Rafael.” “Of
Rafael neither.” “Of
no one,” the gypsy said. “This is a very strange woman. Is of no one. But she
cooks
well.” “Really
of no one?” Robert Jordan asked her. “Of
no one. No one. Neither in joke nor in seriousness. Nor of thee either.” “No?”
Robert Jordan said and he could feel the thickness coming in his throat
again. “Good.
I have no time for any woman. That is true.” “Not
fifteen minutes?” the gypsy asked teasingly. “Not a quarter of an hour?”
Robert Jordan
did not answer. He looked at the girl, Maria, and his throat felt too thick
for him to trust
himself to speak. Maria
looked at him and laughed, then blushed suddenly but kept on looking at him. “You
are blushing,” Robert Jordan said to her. “Do you blush much?” “Never.”
“You
are blushing now.” “Then
I will go into the cave.” “Stay
here, Maria.” “No,”
she said and did not smile at him. “I will go into the cave now.” She picked
up the iron
plate they had eaten from and the four forks. She moved awkwardly as a colt moves,
but with that same grace as of a young animal. “Do
you want the cups?” she asked. Robert
Jordan was still looking at her and she blushed again. “Don’t
make me do that,” she said. “I do not like to do that.” “Leave
them,” they gypsy said to her. “Here,” he dipped into the stone bowl and handed
the full cup to Robert Jordan who Watched the girl duck her head and go into the
cave carrying the heavy iron dish. “Thank
you,” Robert Jordan said. His voice was all right again, now that she was gone.
“This is the last one. We’ve had enough of this.” “We
will finish the bowl,” the gypsy said. “There is over half a skin. We packed
it in on one
of the horses.” “That
was the last raid of Pablo,” Anselmo said. “Since then he has done nothing.” “How
many are you?” Robert Jordan asked. “We
are seven and there are two women.” “Two?”
“Yes.
The mujer of Pablo.” “And
she?” “In
the cave. The girl can cook a little. I said she cooks well to please her.
But mostly she
helps the mujer of Pablo.” “And
how is she, the mujer of Pablo?” “Something
barbarous,” the gypsy grinned. “Something very barbarous. If you think Pablo
is ugly you should see his woman. But brave. A hundred times braver than
Pablo. But
something barbarous.” “Pablo
was brave in the beginning,” Anselmo said. “Pablo was something serious in the
beginning.” “He
killed more people than the cholera,” the gypsy said. “At the start of the movement,
Pablo killed more people than the typhoid fever.” “But
since a long time he is muy flojo,” Anselmo said. “He is very flaccid. He is
very much
afraid to die.” “It
is possible that it is because he has killed so many at the beginning,” the
gypsy said philosophically.
“Pablo killed more than the bubonic plague.” “That
and the riches,” Anselmo said. “Also he drinks very much. Now he would like
to retire
like a matador de toros. Like a bullfighter. But he cannot retire.” “If he crosses to the other side of the
lines they will take his horses and make him go in
the army,” the gypsy said. “In me there is no love for being in the army
either.” “Nor
is there in any other gypsy,” Anselmo said. “Why
should there be?” the gypsy asked. “Who wants to be in an army? Do we make the
revolution to be in an army? I am willing to fight but not to be in an army.”
“Where
are the others?” asked Robert Jordan. He felt comfortable and sleepy now from
the wine and lying back on the floor of the forest he saw through the tree
tops the small
afternoon clouds of the mountains moving slowly in the high Spanish sky. “There
are two asleep in the cave,” the gypsy said. “Two are on guard above where we
have the gun. One is on guard below. They are probably all asleep.” Robert
Jordan rolled over on his side. “What
kind of a gun is it?” “A
very rare name,” the gypsy said. “It has gone away from me for the moment. It
is a machine
gun.” It
must be an automatic rifle, Robert Jordan thought. “How
much does it weigh?” he asked. “One
man can carry it but it is heavy. It has three legs that fold. We got it in
the last serious
raid. The one before the wine.” “How
many rounds have you for it?” “An
infinity,” the gypsy said. “One whole case of an unbelievable heaviness.” Sounds
like about five hundred rounds, Robert Jordan thought. “Does
it feed from a pan or a belt?” “From
round iron cans on the top of the gun.” Hell,
it’s a Lewis gun, Robert Jordan thought. “Do
you know anything about a machine gun?” he asked the old man. “Nada,”
said Anselmo. “Nothing.” “And
thou?” to the gypsy. “That
they fire with much rapidity and become so hot the barrel burns the hand that
touches
it,” the gypsy said proudly. “Every
one knows that,” Anselmo said with contempt. “Perhaps,”
the gypsy said. “But he asked me to tell what I know about a máquina and I told
him.” Then he added, “Also, unlike an ordinary rifle, they continue to fire
as long as you
exert pressure on the trigger.” “Unless
they jam, run out of ammunition or get so hot they melt,” Robert Jordan said
in English.
“What
do you say?” Anselmo asked him. “Nothing,”
Robert Jordan said. “I was only looking into the future in English.” “That
is something truly rare,” the gypsy said. “Looking into the future in Inglés.
Can you
read in the palm of the hand?” “No,”
Robert Jordan said and he dipped another cup of wine. “But if thou canst I
wish thee
would read in the palm of my hand and tell me what is going to pass in the
next three
days.” “The
mujer of Pablo reads in the hands,” the gypsy said. “But she is so irritable
and of such
a barbarousness that I do not know if she will do it.” Robert
Jordan sat up now and took a swallow of the wine. “Let
us see the mujer of Pablo now,” he said. “If it is that bad let us get it
over with.” “I
would not disturb her,” Rafael said. “She has a strong hatred for me.” “Why?”
“She
treats me as a time waster.” “What
injustice,” Anselmo taunted. “She
is against gypsies.” “What
an error,” Anselmo said. “She
has gypsy blood,” Rafael said. “She knows of what she speaks.” He grinned. “But
she has a tongue that scalds and that bites like a bull whip. With this
tongue she takes
the hide from any one. In strips. She is of an unbelievable barbarousness.” “How does she get along with the girl,
Maria?” Robert Jordan asked. “Good.
She likes the girl. But let any one come near her seriously—” He shook his head
and clucked with his tongue. “She
is very good with the girl,” Anselmo said. “She takes good care of her.” “When
we picked the girl up at the time of the train she was very strange,” Rafael
said. “She
would not speak and she cried all the time and if any one touched her she
would shiver
like a wet dog. Only lately has she been better. Lately she has been much
better. Today
she was fine. Just now, talking to you, she was very good. We would have left
her
after the train. Certainly it was not worth being delayed by something so sad
and ugly
and apparently worthless. But the old woman tied a rope to her and when the
girl thought
she could not go further, the old woman beat her with the end of the rope to make
her go. Then when she could not really go further, the old woman carried her
over her
shoulder. When the old woman could not carry her, I carried her. We were
going up that
hill breast high in the gorse and heather. And when I could no longer carry
her, Pablo
carried her. But what the old woman had to say to us to make us do it!” He
shook his
head at the memory. “It is true that the girl is long in the legs but is not
heavy. The bones
are light and she weighs little. But she weighs enough when we had to carry
her and
stop to fire and then carry her again with the old woman lashing at Pablo
with the rope
and carrying his rifle, putting it in his hand when he would drop the girl,
making him pick
her up again and loading the gun for him while she cursed him; taking the
shells from
his pouches and shoving them down into the magazine and cursing him. The dusk
was
coming well on then and when the night came it was all right. But it was
lucky that they
had no cavalry.” “It
must have been very hard at the train,” Anselmo said. “I was not there,” he explained
to Robert Jordan. “There was the band of Pablo, of El Sordo, whom we will see
tonight, and two other bands of these mountains. I had gone to the other side
of the lines.”
“In
addition to the blond one with the rare name—” the gypsy said. “Kashkin.”
“Yes.
It is a name I can never dominate. We had two with a machine gun. They were sent
also by the army. They could not get the gun away and lost it. Certainly it
weighed no
more than that girl and if the old woman had been over them they would have
gotten it
away.” He shook his head remembering, then went on. “Never in my life have I
seen such
a thing as when the explosion Was produced. The train was coming steadily. We
saw
it far away. And I had an excitement so great that I cannot tell it. We saw
steam from
it and then later came the noise of the whistle. Then it came
chu-chu-chu-chu-chu- chu
steadily larger and larger and then, at the moment of the explosion, the
front wheels of
the engine rose up and all of the earth seemed to rise in a great cloud of
blackness and
a roar and the engine rose high in the cloud of dirt and of the Wooden ties
rising in the
air as in a dream and then it fell onto its side like a great wounded animal
and there was
an explosion of white steam before the clods of the other explosion had
ceased to fall
on us and the máquina commenced to speak ta-tat-tat-ta!” went the gypsy
shaking his
two clenched fists up and down in front of him, thumbs up, on an imaginary
machine gun.
“Ta! Ta! Tat! Tat! Tat! Ta!” he exulted. “Never in my life have I seen such a
thing, with
the troops running from the train and the máquina speaking into them and the
men falling.
It was then that I put my hand on the máquina in my excitement and discovered
that
the barrel burned and at that moment the old woman slapped me on the side of
the face
and said, ‘Shoot, you fool! Shoot or I will kick your brains in!’ Then I
commenced to shoot
but it was very hard to hold my gun steady and the troops were running up the
far hill.
Later, after we had been down at the train to see what there was to take, an
officer forced
some troops back toward us at the point of a pistol. He kept waving the
pistol and shouting
at them and we were all shooting at him but no one hit him. Then some troops lay
down and commenced firing and the officer walked up and down behind them with
his
pistol and still we could not hit him and the máquina could not fire on him
because of the
position of the train. This officer shot two men as they lay and still they
would not get up
and he was cursing them and finally they got up, one two and three at a time
and came
running toward us and the train. Then they lay flat again and fired. Then we
left, with
the máquina still speaking over us as we left. It was then I found the girl
where she had
run from the train to the rocks and she ran with us. It was those troops who
hunted us
until that night.” “It
must have been something very hard,” Anselmo said. “Of much emotion.” “It
was the only good thing we have done,” said a deep voice. “What are you doing
now,
you lazy drunken obscene unsayable son of an unnameable unmarried gypsy obscenity?
What are you doing?” Robert
Jordan saw a woman of about fifty almost as big as Pablo, almost as wide as she
was tall, in black peasant skirt and waist, with heavy wool socks on heavy
legs, black
rope-soled shoes and a brown face like a model for a granite monument. She
had big
but nice-looking hands and her thick curly black hair was twisted into a knot
on her neck.
“Answer
me,” she said to the gypsy, ignoring the others. “I
was talking to these comrades. This one comes as a dynamiter.” “I
know all that,” the mujer of Pablo said. “Get out of here now and relieve
Andrés who is
on guard at the top.” “Me
voy,” the gypsy said. “I go.” He turned to Robert Jordan. “I will see thee at
the hour
of eating.” “Not
even in a joke,” said the woman to him. “Three times you have eaten today according
to my count. Go now and send me Andrés. “Hola,”
she said to Robert Jordan and put out her hand and smiled. “How are you and how
is everything in the Republic?” “Good,”
he said and returned her strong hand grip. “Both with me and with the Republic.”
“I
am happy,” she told him. She was looking into his face and smiling and he
noticed she
had fine gray eyes. “Do you come for us to do another train?” “No,”
said Robert Jordan, trusting her instantly. “For a bridge.” “No
es nada,” she said. “A bridge is nothing. When do we do another train now
that we have
horses?” “Later.
This bridge is of great importance.” “The
girl told me your comrade who was with us at the train is dead.” “Yes.”
“What
a pity. Never have I seen such an explosion. He was a man of talent. He pleased
me very much. It is not possible to do another train now? There are many men here
now in the hills. Too many. It is already hard to get food. It would be
better to get out.
And we have horses.” “We
have to do this bridge.” “Where
is it?” “Quite
close.” “All
the better,” the mujer of Pablo said. “Let us blow all the bridges there are
here and get
out. I am sick of this place. Here is too much concentration of people. No
good can come
of it. Here is a stagnation that is repugnant.” She
sighted Pablo through the trees. “Borracho!”
she called to him. “Drunkard. Rotten drunkard!” She turned back to Robert Jordan
cheerfully. “He’s taken a leather wine bottle to drink alone in the woods,”
she said.
“He’s drinking all the time. This life is ruining him. Young man, I am very
content that
you have come.” She clapped him on the back. “Ah,” she said. “You’re bigger
than you
look,” and ran her hand over his shoulder, feeling the muscle under the
flannel shirt. “Good.
I am very content that you have come.” “And
I equally.” “We
will understand each other,” she said. “Have a cup of wine.” “We
have already had some,” Robert Jordan said. “But, will you?” “Not
until dinner,” she said. “It gives me heartburn.” Then she sighted Pablo
again. “Borracho!
” she shouted. “Drunkard!” She turned to Robert Jordan and shook her head. “He
was a very good man,” she told him. “But now he is terminated. And listen to
me about
another thing. Be very good and careful about the girl. The Maria. She has
had a bad
time. Understandest thou?” “Yes.
Why do you say this?” “I
saw how she was from seeing thee when she came into the cave. I saw her watching
thee before she came out.” “I
joked with her a little.” “She
was in a very bad state,” the woman of Pablo said. “Now she is better, she
ought to
get out of here.” “Clearly,
she can be sent through the lines with Anselmo.” “You
and the Anselmo can take her when this terminates.” Robert
Jordan felt the ache in his throat and his voice thickening. “That might be done,”
he said. The
mujer of Pablo looked at him and shook her head. “Ayee. Ayee,” she said. “Are
all men
like that?” “I
said nothing. She is beautiful, you know that.” “No
she is not beautiful. But she begins to be beautiful, you mean,” the woman of
Pablo
said. “Men. It is a shame to us women that we make them. No. In seriousness. Are
there not homes to care for such as her under the Republic?” “Yes,”
said Robert Jordan. “Good places. On the coast near Valencia. In other places
too.
There they will treat her well and she can work with children. There are the
children from
evacuated villages. They will teach her the work.” “That
is what I want,” the mujer of Pablo said. “Pablo has a sickness for her
already. It is
another thing which destroys him. It lies on him like a sickness when he sees
her. It is best
that she goes now.” “We
can take her after this is over.” “And
you will be careful of her now if I trust you? I speak to you as though I
knew you for
a long time.” “It
is like that,” Robert Jordan said, “when people understand one another.” “Sit
down,” the woman of Pablo said. “I do not ask any promise because what will happen,
will happen. Only if you will not take her out, then I ask a promise.” “Why
if I would not take her?” “Because
I do not want her crazy here after you will go. I have had her crazy before and
I have enough without that.” “We
will take her after the bridge,” Robert Jordan said. “If we are alive after
the bridge, we
will take her.” “I
do not like to hear you speak in that manner. That manner of speaking never
brings luck.”
“I
spoke in that manner only to make a promise,” Robert Jordan said. “I am not
of those
who speak gloomily.” “Let
me see thy hand,” the woman said. Robert Jordan put his hand out and the woman
opened it, held it in her own big hand, rubbed her thumb over it and looked
at it, carefully,
then dropped it. She stood up. He got up too and she looked at him without smiling.
“What
did you see in it?” Robert Jordan asked her. “I don’t believe in it. You
won’t scare
me.” “Nothing,”
she told him. “I saw nothing in it.” “Yes
you did. I am only curious. I do not believe in such things.” “In
what do you believe?” “In
many things but not in that.” “In
what?” “In
my work.” “Yes,
I saw that.” “Tell
me what else you saw.” “I saw nothing else,” she said bitterly.
“The bridge is very difficult you said?” “No.
I said it is very important.” “But
it can be difficult?” “Yes.
And now I go down to look at it. How many men have you here?” “Five
that are any good. The gypsy is worthless although his intentions are good.
He has
a good heart. Pablo I no longer trust.” “How
many men has El Sordo that are good?” “Perhaps
eight. We will see tonight. He is coming here. He is a very practical man. He
also
has some dynamite. Not very much, though. You will speak with him.” “Have
you sent for him?” “He
comes every night. He is a neighbor. Also a friend as well as a comrade.” “What
do you think of him?” “He
is a very good man. Also very practical. In the business of the train he was enormous.”
“And
in the other bands?” “Advising
them in time, it should be possible to unite fifty rifles of a certain dependability.”
“How
dependable?” “Dependable
within the gravity of the situation.” “And
how many cartridges per rifle?” “Perhaps
twenty. Depending how many they would bring for this business. If they would
come for this business. Remember thee that in this of a bridge there is no
money and
no loot and in thy reservations of talking, much danger, and that afterwards
there must
be a moving from these mountains. Many will oppose this of the bridge.” “Clearly.”
“In
this way it is better not to speak of it unnecessarily.” “I
am in accord.” “Then
after thou hast studied thy bridge we will talk tonight with El Sordo.” “I
go down now with Anselmo.” “Wake
him then,” she said. “Do you want a carbine?” “Thank
you,” he told her. “It is good to have but I will not use it. I go to look,
not to make
disturbances. Thank you for what you have told me. I like very much your way
of speaking.”
“I
try to speak frankly.” “Then
tell me what you saw in the hand.” “No,”
she said and shook her head. “I saw nothing. Go now to thy bridge. I will
look after
thy equipment.” “Cover
it and that no one should touch it. It is better there than in the cave.” “It
shall be covered and no one shall touch it,” the woman of Pablo said. “Go now
to thy
bridge.” “Anselmo,”
Robert Jordan said, putting his hand on the shoulder of the old man who lay
sleeping, his head on his arms. The
old man looked up. “Yes,” he said. “Of course. Let us go.” 3 They came down the last two hundred yards,
moving carefully from tree to tree in the shadows
and now, through the last pines of the steep hillside, the bridge was only
fifty yards
away. The late afternoon sun that still came over the brown shoulder of the mountain
showed the bridge dark against the steep emptiness of the gorge. It was a steel
bridge of a single span and there was a sentry box at each end. It was wide enough
for two motor cars to pass and it spanned, in solid-flung metal grace, a deep
gorge
at the bottom of which, far below, a brook leaped in white water through
rocks and boulders
down to the main stream of the pass. The
sun was in Robert Jordan’s eyes and the bridge showed only in outline. Then
the sun
lessened and was gone and looking up through the trees at the brown, rounded height
that it had gone behind, he saw, now, that he no longer looked into the
glare, that the
mountain slope was a delicate new green and that there were patches of old
snow under
the crest. Then
he was watching the bridge again in the sudden short trueness of the little
light that
would be left, and studying its construction. The problem of its demolition
was not difficult.
As he watched he took out a notebook from his breast pocket and made several quick
line sketches. As he made the drawings he did not figure the charges. He
would do
that later. Now he was noting the points where the explosive should be placed
in order
to cut the support of the span and drop a section of it into the gorge. It
could be done
unhurriedly, scientifically and correctly with a half dozen charges laid and
braced to
explode simultaneously; or it could be done roughly with two big ones. They
would need
to be very big ones, on opposite sides and should go at the same time. He sketched
quickly and happily; glad at last to have the problem under his hand; glad at
last
actually to be engaged upon it. Then he shut his notebook, pushed the pencil
into its leather
holder in the edge of the flap, put the notebook in his pocket and buttoned
the pocket.
While
he had sketched, Anselmo had been watching the road, the bridge and the sentry
boxes. He thought they had come too close to the bridge for safety and when
the sketching
was finished, he was relieved. As
Robert Jordan buttoned the flap of his pocket and then lay flat behind the
pine trunk,
looking out from behind it, Anselmo put his hand on his elbow and pointed
with one
finger. In
the sentry box that faced toward them up the road, the sentry was sitting
holding his rifle,
the bayonet fixed, between his knees. He was smoking a cigarette and he wore
a knitted
cap and blanket style cape. At fifty yards, you could not see anything about
his face.
Robert Jordan put up his field glasses, shading the lenses carefully with his
cupped
hands even though there was now no sun to make a glint, and there was the rail
of
the bridge as clear as though you could reach out and touch it and there was
the face of
the senty so clear he could see the sunken cheeks, the ash on the cigarette
and the greasy
shine of the bayonet. It was a peasant’s face, the cheeks hollow under the
high cheekbones,
the beard stubbled, the eyes shaded by the heavy brows, big hands holding
the rifle, heavy boots showing beneath the folds of the blanket cape. There
was a
worn, blackened leather wine bottle on the wall of the sentry box, there were
some newspapers
and there was no telephone. There could, of course, be a telephone on the side
he could not see; but there were no wires running from the box that were
visible. A telephone
line ran along the road and its wires were carried over the bridge. There was
a
charcoal brazier outside the sentry box, made from an old petrol tin with the
top cut off and
holes punched in it, which rested on two stones; but he held no fire. There
were some
fire-blackened empty tins in the ashes under it. Robert
Jordan handed the glasses to Anselmo who lay flat beside him. The old man grinned
and shook his head. He tapped his skull beside his eye with one finger. “Ya
lo veo,” he said in Spanish. “I have seen him,” speaking from the front of his
mouth
with almost no movement of his lips in the way that is quieter than any
whisper. He
looked at the sentry as Robert Jordan smiled at him and, pointing with one
finger, drew
the other across his throat. Robert Jordan nodded but he did not smile. The
sentry box at the far end of the bridge faced away from them and down the
road and
they could not see into it. The road, which was broad and oiled and well constructed,
made a turn to the left at the far end of the bridge and then swung out of sight
around a curve to the right. At this point it was enlarged from the old road
to its present
width by cutting into the solid bastion of the rock on the far side of the
gorge; and
its left or western edge, looking down from the pass and the bridge, was
marked and
protected by a line of upright cut blocks of stone where its edge fell sheer
away to the
gorge. The gorge was almost a canyon here, where the brook, that the bridge
was flung
over, merged with the main stream of the pass. “And the other post?” Robert Jordan asked
Anselmo. “Five
hundred meters below that turn. In the roadmender’s hut that is built into
the side of
the rock.” “How
many men?” Robert Jordan asked. He
was watching the sentry again with his glasses. The sentry rubbed his
cigarette out on
the plank wall of the box, then took a leather tobacco pouch from his pocket,
opened the
paper of the dead cigarette and emptied the remnant of used tobacco into the pouch.
The sentry stood up, leaned his rifle against the wall of the box and
stretched, then
picked up his rifle, slung it over his shoulder and walked out onto the
bridge. Anselmo
flattened on the ground and Robert Jordan slipped his glasses into his shirt pocket
and put his head well behind the pine tree. “There
are seven men and a corporal,” Anselmo said close to his ear. “I informed myself
from the gypsy.” “We
will go now as soon as he is quiet,” Robert Jordan said. “We are too close.” “Hast
thou seen what thou needest?” “Yes.
All that I need.” It
was getting cold quickly now with the sun down and the light was failing as
the afterglow
from the last sunlight on the mountains behind them faded. “How
does it look to thee?” Anselmo said softly as they watched the sentry walk across
the bridge toward the other box, his bayonet bright in the last of the
afterglow, his figure
unshapely in the blanket coat. “Very
good,” Robert Jordan said. “Very, very good.” “I
am glad,” Anselmo said. “Should we go? Now there is no chance that he sees
us.” The
sentry was standing, his back toward them, at the far end of the bridge. From
the gorge
came the noise of the stream in the boulders. Then through this noise came another
noise, a steady, racketing drone and they saw the sentry looking up, his
knitted cap
slanted back, and turning their heads and looking up they saw, high in the
evening sky,
three monoplanes in V formation, showing minute and silvery at that height
where there
still was sun, passing unbelievably quickly across the sky, their motors now throbbing
steadily. “Ours?”
Anselmo asked. “They
seem so,” Robert Jordan said but knew that at that height you never could be sure.
They could be an evening patrol of either side. But you always said pursuit
planes were
ours because it made people feel better. Bombers were another matter. Anselmo
evidently felt the same. “They are ours,” he said. “I recognize them. They
are Moscas.”
“Good,”
said Robert Jordan. “They seem to me to be Moscas, too.” “They
are Moscas,” Anselmo said. Robert
Jordan could have put the glasses on them and been sure instantly but he preferred
not to. It made no difference to him who they were tonight and if it pleased
the old
man to have them be ours, he did not want to take them away. Now, as they
moved out
of sight toward Segovia, they did not look to be the green, red wing-tipped,
low wing Russian
conversion of the Boeing P32 that the Spaniards called Moscas. You could not see
the colors but the cut was wrong. No. It was a Fascist Patrol coming home. The
sentry was still standing at the far box with his back turned. “Let
us go,” Robert Jordan said. He started up the hill, moving carefully and
taking advantage
of the cover until they were out of sight. Anselmo followed him at a hundred yards
distance. When they were well out of sight of the bridge, he stopped and the
old man
came up and went into the lead and climbed steadily through the pass, up the steep
slope in the dark. “We
have a formidable aviation,” the old man said happily. “Yes.”
“And
we will win.” “We
have to win.” “Yes.
And after we have won you must come to hunt.” “To hunt what?” “The
boar, the bear, the wolf, the ibex—” “You
like to hunt?” “Yes,
man. More than anything. We all hunt in my village. You do not like to hunt?”
“No,”
said Robert Jordan. “I do not like to kill animals.” “With
me it is the opposite,” the old man said. “I do not like to kill men.” “Nobody
does except those who are disturbed in the head,” Robert Jordan said. “But I feel
nothing against it when it is necessary. When it is for the cause.” “It
is a different thing, though,” Anselmo said. “In my house, when I had a
house, and now
I have no house, there were the tusks of boar I had shot in the lower forest.
There were
the hides of wolves I had shot. In the winter, hunting them in the snow. One
very big
one, I killed at dusk in the outskirts of the village on my way home one
night in November.
There were four wolf hides on the floor of my house. They were worn by stepping
on them but they were wolf hides. There were the horns of ibex that I had
killed in
the high Sierra, and there was an eagle stuffed by an embalmer of birds of
Avila, with his
wings spread, and eyes as yellow and real as the eyes of an eagle alive. It
was a very
beautiful thing and all of those things gave me great pleasure to
contemplate.” “Yes,”
said Robert Jordan. “On
the door of the church of my village was nailed the paw of a bear that I
killed in the
spring, finding him on a hillside in the snow, overturning a log with this
same paw.” “When
was this?” “Six
years ago. And every time I saw that paw, like the hand of a man, but with
those long
claws, dried and nailed through the palm to the door of the church, I received
a pleasure.”
“Of
pride?” “Of
pride of remembrance of the encounter with the bear on that hillside in the
early spring.
But of the killing of a man, who is a man as we are, there is nothing good
that remains.”
“You
can’t nail his paw to the church,” Robert Jordan said. “No.
Such a barbarity is unthinkable. Yet the hand of a man is like the paw of a
bear.” “So
is the chest of a man like the chest of a bear,” Robert Jordan said. “With
the hide removed
from the bear, there are many similarities in the muscles.” “Yes,”
Anselmo said. “The gypsies believe the bear to be a brother of man.” “So
do the Indians in America,” Robert Jordan said. “And when they kill a bear
they apologize
to him and ask his pardon. They put his skull in a tree and they ask him to forgive
them before they leave it.” “The
gypsies believe the bear to be a brother to man because he has the same body beneath
his hide, because he drinks beer, because he enjoys music and because he likes
to dance.” “So
also believe the Indians.” “Are
the Indians then gypsies?” “No.
But they believe alike about the bear.” “Clearly.
The gypsies also believe he is a brother because he steals for pleasure.” “Have
you gypsy blood?” “No.
But I have seen much of them and clearly, since the movement, more. There are
many
in the hills. To them it is not a sin to kill outside the tribe. They deny
this but it is true.”
“Like
the Moors.” “Yes.
But the gypsies have many laws they do not admit to having. In the war many gypsies
have become bad again as they were in olden times.” “They
do not understand why the war is made. They do not know for what we fight.” “No,”
Anselmo said. “They only know now there is a war and people may kill again as
in
the olden times without a surety of punishment.” “You
have killed?” Robert Jordan asked in the intimacy of the dark and of their
day together.
“Yes. Several times. But not with pleasure.
To me it is a sin to kill a man. Even Fascists
whom we must kill. To me there is a great difference between the bear and the
man
and I do not believe the wizardry of the gypsies about the brotherhood with animals.
No. I am against all killing of men.” “Yet
you have killed.” “Yes.
And will again. But if I live later, I will try to live in such a way, doing
no harm to any
one, that it will be forgiven.” “By
whom?” “Who
knows? Since we do not have God here any more, neither His Son nor the Holy Ghost,
who forgives? I do not know.” “You
have not God any more?” “No.
Man. Certainly not. If there were God, never would He have permitted what I have
seen with my eyes. Let them have God.” “They
claim Him.” “Clearly
I miss Him, having been brought up in religion. But now a man must be responsible
to himself.” “Then
it is thyself who will forgive thee for killing.” “I
believe so,” Anselmo said. “Since you put it clearly in that way I believe
that must be it.
But with or without God, I think it is a sin to kill. To take the life of
another is to me very
grave. I will do it whenever necessary but I am not of the race of Pablo.” “To
win a war we must kill our enemies. That has always been true.” “Clearly.
In war we must kill. But I have very rare ideas,” Anselmo said. They
were walking now close together in the dark and he spoke softly, sometimes turning
his head as he climbed. “I would not kill even a Bishop. I would not kill a proprietor
of any kind. I would make them work each day as we have worked in the fields
and as we work in the mountains with the timbet all of the rest of their
lives. So they
would see what man is born to. That they should sleep where we sleep. That
they should
eat as we eat. But above all that they should work. Thus they would learn.” “And
they would survive to enslave thee again.” “To
kill them teaches nothing,” Anselmo said. “You cannot exterminate them
because from
their seed comes more with greater hatred. Prison is nothing. Prison only
makes hatred.
That all our enemies should learn.” “But
still thou hast killed.” “Yes,”
Anselmo said. “Many times and will again. But not with pleasure and regarding
it
as a sin.” “And
the sentry. You joked of killing the sentry.” “That
was in joke. I would kill the sentry. Yes. Certainly and with a clear heart considering
our task. But not with pleasure.” “We
will leave them to those who enjoy it,” Robert Jordan said. “There are eight
and five.
That is thirteen for those who enjoy it.” “There
are many of those who enjoy it,” Anselmo said in the dark. “We have many of those.
More of those than of men who would serve for a battle.” “Hast
thou ever been in a battle?” “Nay,”
the old man said. “We fought in Segovia at the start of the movement but we were
beaten and we ran. I ran with the others. We did not truly understand what we
were
doing, nor how it should be done. Also I had only a shotgun with cartridges
of large buckshot
and the guardia civil had Mausers. I could not hit them with buckshot at a hundred
yards, and at three hundred yards they shot us as they wished as though we were
rabbits. They shot much and well and we were like sheep before them.” He was silent.
Then asked, “Thinkest thou there will be a battle at the bridge?” “There
is a chance.” “I
have never seen a battle without running,” Anselmo said. “I do not know how I
would comport
myself. I am an old man and I have wondered.” “I
will respond for thee,” Robert Jordan told him. “And
hast thou been in many battles?” “Several.” “And
what thinkest thou of this of the bridge?” “First
I think of the bridge. That is my business. It is not difficult to destroy
the bridge. Then
we will make the dispositions for the rest. For the preliminaries. It will
all be written.”
“Very
few of these people read,” Anselmo said. “It
will be written for every one’s knowledge so that all know, but also it will
be clearly explained.”
“I
will do that to which I am assigned,” Anselmo said. “But remembering the
shooting in
Segovia, if there is to be a battle or even much exchanging of shots, I would
wish to have
it very clear what I must do under all circumstances to avoid running. I
remember that
I had a great tendency to run at Segovia.” “We
will be together,” Robert Jordan told him. “I will tell you what there is to
do at all times.”
“Then
there is no problem,” Anselmo said. “I can do anything that I am ordered.” “For
us will be the bridge and the battle, should there be one,” Robert Jordan
said and saying
it in the dark, he felt a little theatrical but it sounded well in Spanish. “It
should be of the highest interest,” Anselmo said and hearing him say it
honestly and clearly
and with no pose, neither the English pose of understatement nor any Latin bravado,
Robert Jordan thought he was very lucky to have this old man and having seen
the bridge and worked out and simplified the problem it would have been to surprise
the posts and blow it in a normal way, he resented Golz’s orders, and the necessity
for them. He resented them for what they could do to him and for what they could
do to this old man. They were bad orders all right for those who would have
to carry
them out. And
that is not the way to think, he told himself, and there is not you, and
there are no people
that things must not happen to. Neither you nor this old man is anything. You
are instruments
to do your duty. There are necessary orders that are no fault of yours and there
is a bridge and that bridge can be the point on which the future of the human
race can
turn. As it can turn on everything that happens in this war. You have only
one thing to
do and you must do it. Only one thing, hell, he thought. If it were one thing
it was easy.
Stop worrying, you windy bastard, he said to himself. Think about something
else. So
he thought about the girl Maria, with her skin, the hair and the eyes all the
same golden
tawny brown, the hair a little darker than the rest but it would be lighter
as her skin
tanned deeper, the smooth skin, pale gold on the surface with a darkness underneath.
Smooth it would be, all of her body smooth, and she moved awkwardly as though
there were something of her and about her that embarrassed her as though it were
visible, though it was not, but only in her mind. And she blushed with he
looked at her,
and she sitting, her hands clasped around her knees and the shirt open at the
throat,
the cup of her breasts uptilted against the shirt, and as he thought of her,
his throat
was choky and there was a difficulty in walking and he and Anselmo spoke no more
until the old man said, “Now we go down through these rocks and to the camp.”
As
they came through the rocks in the dark, a man spoke to them, “Halt. Who
goes?” They
heard a rifle bolt snick as it was drawn back and then the knock against the
wood as
it was pushed forward and down on the stock. “Comrades,”
Anselmo said. “What
comrades?” “Comrades
of Pablo,” the old man told him. “Dost thou not know us?” “Yes,”
the voice said. “But it is an order. Have you the password?” “No.
We come from below.” “I
know,” the man said in the dark. “You come from the bridge. I know all of
that. The order
is not mine. You must know the second half of a password.” “What
is the first half then?” Robert Jordan said. “I
have forgotten it,” the man said in the dark and laughed. “Go then
unprintably to the campfire
with thy obscene dynamite.” “That is called guerilla discipline,”
Anselmo said. “Uncock thy piece.” “It
is uncocked,” the man said in the dark. “I let it down with my thumb and
forefinger.” “Thou
wilt do that with a Mauser sometime which has no knurl on the bolt and it
will fire.”
“This
is a Mauser,” the man said. “But I have a grip of thumb and forefinger beyond
description.
Always I let it down that way.” “Where
is the rifle pointed?” asked Anselmo into the dark. “At
thee,” the man said, “all the time that I descended the bolt. And when thou
comest to
the camp, order that some one should relieve me because I have indescribable
and unprintable
hunger and I have forgotten the password.” “How
art thou called?” Robert Jordan asked. “Agustín,”
the man said. “I am called Agustín and I am dying with boredom in this spot.”
“We
will take the message,” Robert Jordan said and he thought how the word aburmiento
which means boredom in Spanish was a word no peasant would use in any other
language. Yet it is one of the most common words in the mouth of a Spaniard
of any
class. “Listen
to me,” Agustín said, and coming close he put his hand on Robert Jordan’s shoulder.
Then striking a flint and steel together he held it up and blowing on the end
of the
cork, looked at the young man’s face in its glow. “You
look like the other one,” he said. “But something different. Listen,” he put
the lighter
down and stood holding his rifle. “Tell me this. Is it true about the
bridge?” “What
about the bridge?” “That
we blow up an obscene bridge and then have to obscenely well obscenity ourselves
off out of these mountains?” “I
know not.” “You
know not,” Agustín said. “What a barbarity! Whose then is the dynamite?” “Mine.”
“And
knowest thou not what it is for? Don’t tell me tales.” “I
know what it is for and so will you in time,” Robert Jordan said. “But now we
go to the
camp.” “Go
to the unprintable,” Agustín said. “And unprint thyself. But do you want me
to tell you
something of service to you?” “Yes,”
said Robert Jordan. “If it is not unprintable,” naming the principal
obscenity that had
larded the conversation. The man, Agustín, spoke so obscenely, coupling an obscenity
to every noun as an adjective, using the same obscenity as a verb, that Robert
Jordan wondered if he could speak a straight sentence. Agustín laughed in the
dark
when he heard the word. “It is a way of speaking I have. Maybe it is ugly.
Who knows?
Each one speaks according to his manner. Listen to me. The bridge is nothing to
me. As well the bridge as another thing. Also I have a boredom in these
mountains. That
we should go if it is needed. These mountains say nothing to me. That we
should leave
them. But I would say one thing. Guard well thy explosive.” “Thank
you,” Robert Jordan said. “From thee?” “No,”
Agustín said. “From people less unprintably equipped than I.” “So?”
asked Robert Jordan. “You
understand Spanish,” Agustín said seriously now. “Care well for thy
unprintable explosive.”
“Thank
you.” “No.
Don’t thank me. Look after thy stuff.” “Has
anything happened to it?” “No,
or I would not waste thy time talking in this fashion.” “Thank
you all the same. We go now to camp.” “Good,”
said Agustín, “and that they send some one here who knows the password.” “Will
we see you at the camp?” “Yes,
man. And shortly.” “Come on,” Robert Jordan said to Anselmo. They
were walking down the edge of the meadow now and there was a gray mist. The grass
was lush underfoot after the pineneedle floor of the forest and the dew on
the grass
wet through their canvas rope-soled shoes. Ahead, through the trees, Robert Jordan
Could see a light where he knew the mouth of the cave must be. “Agustín
is a very good man,” Anselmo said. “He speaks very filthily and always in jokes
but he is a very serious man.” “You
know him well?” “Yes.
For a long time. I have much confidence in him.” “And
what he says?” “Yes,
man. This Pablo is bad now, as you could see.” “And
the best thing to do?” “One
shall guard it at all times.” “Who?”
“You.
Me. The woman and Agustín. Since he sees the danger.” “Did
you think things were as bad as they are here?” “No,”
Anselmo said. “They have gone bad very fast. But it was necessary to come here.
This is the country of Pablo and of El Sordo. In their country we must deal
with them
unless it is something that can be done alone.” “And
El Sordo?” “Good,”
Anselmo said. “As good as the other is bad.” “You
believe now that he is truly bad?” “All
afternoon I have thought of it and since we have heard what we have heard, I think
now, yes. Truly.” “It
would not be better to leave, speaking of another bridge, and obtain men from
other bands?”
“No,”
Anselmo said. “This is his country. You could not move that he would not know
it.
But one must move with much precautions.” 4 They came down to the mouth of the cave,
where a light shone out from the edge of a blanket
that hung over the opening. The two packs were at the foot of the tree
covered with
a canvas and Robert Jordan knelt down and felt the canvas wet and stiff over
them. In
the dark he felt under the canvas in the outside pocket of one of the packs
and took out
a leather-covered flask and slipped it in his pocket. Unlocking the long
barred padlocks
that passed through the grommet that closed the opening of the mouth of the packs,
and untying the drawstring at the top of each pack, he felt inside them and verified
their contents with his hands. Deep in one pack he felt the bundled blocks in
the sacks,
the sacks wrapped in the sleeping robe, and tying the strings of that and
pushing the
lock shut again, he put his hands into the other and felt the sharp wood
outline of the box
of the old exploder, the cigar box with the caps, each little cylinder
wrapped round and
round with its two wires (the lot of them packed as carefully as he had
packed his collection
of wild bird eggs when he was a boy), the stock of the submachine gun, disconnected
from the barrel and wrapped in his leather jacket, the two pans and five clips
in one of the inner pockets of the big pack-sack arid the small coils of
copper wire and
the big coil of light insulated Wire in the other. In the pocket with the
wire he felt his pliers
and the two wooden awls for making holes in the end of the blocks and then,
from the
last inside pocket, he took a big box of the Russian cigarettes of the lot he
had from Golz’s
headquarters and tying the mouth of the pack shut, he pushed the lock in, buckled
the flaps down and again covered both packs with the canvas. Anselmo had gone
on into the cave. Robert
Jordan stood up to follow him, then reconsidered and, lifting the canvas off
the two
packs, picked them up, one in each hand, and started with them, just able to
carry them,
for the mouth of the cave. He laid one pack down and lifted the blanket
aside, then
with his head stooped and with a pack in each hand, carrying by the leather shoulder
straps, he went into the cave. It
was warm and smoky in the cave. There was a table along one wall with a
tallow candle
stuck in a bottle on it and at the table were seated Pablo, three men he did
not know,
and the gypsy, Rafael. The candle made shadows on the wall behind the men and
Anselmo stood where he had come in to the right of the table. The wife of
Pablo was
standing over the charcoal fire on the open fire hearth in the corner of the
cave. The girl
knelt by her stirring in an iron pot. She lifted the wooden spoon out and
looked at Robert
Jordan as he stood there in the doorway and he saw, in the glow from the fire
the
woman was blowing with a bellows, the girl’s face, her arm and the drops running
down
from the spoon and dropping into the iron pot. “What
do you carry?” Pablo said. “My
things,” Robert Jordan said and set the two packs down a little way apart
where the
cave opened out on the side away from the table. “Are
they not well outside?” Pablo asked. “Some
one might trip over them in the dark,” Robert Jordan said and walked over to the
table and laid the box of cigarettes on it. “I
do not like to have dynamite here in the cave,” Pablo said. “It
is far from the fire,” Robert Jordan said. “Take some cigarettes.” He ran his
thumbnail
along the side of the paper box with the big colored figure of a warship on
the cover
and pushed the box toward Pablo. Anselmo
brought him a rawhide-covered stool and he sat down at the table. Pablo looked
at him as though he were going to speak again, then reached for the
cigarettes. Robert
Jordan pushed them toward the others. He was not looking at them yet. But he noted
one man took cigarettes and two did not. All of his concentration was on
Pablo. “How
goes it, gypsy?” he said to Rafael. “Good,”
the gypsy said. Robert Jordan could tell they had been talking about him when
he came in. Even the gypsy was not at ease. “She
is going to let you eat again?” Robert Jordan asked the gypsy. “Yes.
Why not?” the gypsy said. It was a long way from the friendly joking they had
together
in the afternoon. The
woman of Pablo said nothing and went on blowing up the coals of the fire. “One
called Agustín says he dies of boredom above,” Robert Jordan said. “That
doesn’t kill,” Pablo said. “Let him die a little.” “Is
there wine?” Robert Jordan asked the table at large, leaning forward, his
hands on the
table. “There
is little left,” Pablo said sullenly. Robert Jordan decided he had better
look at the
other three and try to see where he stood. “In
that case, let me have a cup of water. Thou,” he called to the girl. “Bring
me a cup of
water.” The
girl looked at the woman, who said nothing, and gave no sign of having heard,
then
she went to a kettle containing water and dipped a cup full. She brought it
to the table
and put it down before him. Robert Jordan smiled at her. At the same time he sucked
in on his stomach muscles and swung a little to the left on his stool so that
his pistol
slipped around on his belt closer to where he wanted it. He reached his hand down
toward his hip pocket and Pablo watched him. He knew they all were watching him,
too, but he watched only Pablo. His hand came up from the hip pocket with the
leather-covered
flask and he unscrewed the top and then, lifting the cup, drank half the water
and poured very Slowly from the flask into the cup. “It
is too strong for thee or I would give thee some,” he said to the girl and
smiled at her
again. “There is little left or I would offer some to thee,” he said to
Pablo. “I
do not like anis,” Pablo said. The
acrid smell had carried across the table and he had picked out the one
familiar component.
“Good,”
said Robert Jordan. “Because there is very little left.” “What drink is that?” the gypsy asked. “A
medicine,” Robert Jordan said. “Do you want to taste it?” “What
is it for?” “For
everything,” Robert Jordan said. “It cures everything. If you have anything
wrong this
will cure it.” “Let
me taste it,” the gypsy said. Robert
Jordan pushed the cup toward him. It was a milky yellow now with the water and
he hoped the gypsy would not take more than a swallow. There was very little
of it left
and one cup of it took the place of the evening papers, of all the old
evenings in cafés,
of all chestnut trees that would be in bloom now in this month, of the great
slow horses
of the outer boulevards, of book shops, of kiosques, and of galleries, of the
Parc Montsouris,
of the Stade Buffalo, and of the Butte Chaumont, of the Guaranty Trust Company
and the Ile de la Cite, of Foyot’s old hotel, and of being able to read and
relax in
the evening; of all the things he had enjoyed and forgotten and that came
back to him when
he tasted that opaque, bitter, tongue-numbing, brain-warming,
stomach-warming, idea-changing
liquid alchemy. The
gypsy made a face and handed the cup back. “It smells of anis but it is
bitter as gall,”
he said. “It is better to be sick than have that medicine.” “That’s
the wormwood,” Robert Jordan told him. “In this, the real absinthe, there is wormwood.
It’s supposed to rot your brain out but I don’t believe it. It only changes
the ideas.
You should pour water into it very slowly, a few drops at a time. But I
poured it into
the water.” “What
are you saying?” Pablo said angrily, feeling the mockery. “Explaining
the medicine,” Robert Jordan told him and grinned. “I bought it in Madrid. It
was
the last bottle and it’s lasted me three weeks.” He took a big swallow of it
and felt it coasting
over his tongue in delicate anxsthesia. He looked at Pablo and grinned again.
“How’s
business?” he asked. Pablo
did not answer and Robert Jordan looked carefully at the other three men at
the table.
One had a large flat face, flat and brown as a Serrano ham with a nose
flattened and
broken, and the long thin Russian cigarette, projecting at an angle, made the
face look
even flatter. This man had short gray hair and a gray stubble of beard and
wore the usual
black smock buttoned at the neck. He looked down at the table when Robert Jordan
looked at him but his eyes were steady and they did not blink. The other two were
evidently brothers. They looked much alike and were both short, heavily built,
dark haired,
their hair growing low on their foreheads, dark-eyed and brown. One had a
scar across
his forehead above his left eye and as he looked at them, they looked back at
him
steadily. One looked to be about twenty-six or -eight, the other perhaps two
years older.
“What
are you looking at?” one brother, the one with the scar, asked. “Thee,”
Robert Jordan said. “Do
you see anything rare?” “No,”
said Robert Jordan. “Have a cigarette?” “Why
not?” the brother said. He had not taken any before. “These are like the
other had.
He of the train.” “Were
you at the train?” “We
were all at the train,” the brother said quietly. “All except the old man.” “That
is what we should do now,” Pablo said. “Another train.” “We
can do that,” Robert Jordan said. “After the bridge.” He
could see that the wife of Pablo had turned now from the fire and was
listening. When
he said the word “bridge” every one was quiet. “After
the bridge,” he said again deliberately and took a sip of the absinthe. I
might as well
bring it on, he thought. It’s coming anyWay. “I
do not go for the bridge,” Pablo said, looking down at the table. “Neither me
nor my people.”
Robert
Jordan said nothing. He looked at Anselmo and raised the cup. “Then we shall do
it alone, old one,” he said and smiled. “Without
this coward,” Anselmo said. “What
did you say?” Pablo spoke to the old man. “Nothing
for thee. I did not speak to thee,” Anselmo told him. Robert
Jordan now looked past the table to where the wife of Pablo was standing by the
fire. She had said nothing yet, nor given any sign. But now she said
something he could
not hear to the girl and the girl rose from the cooking fire, slipped along
the wall, opened
the blanket that hung over the mouth of the cave and went out. I think it is
going to
come now, Robert Jordan thought. I believe this is it. I did not want it to
be this way but
this seems to be the way it is. “Then
we will do the bridge without thy aid,” Robert Jordan said to Pablo. “No,”
Pablo said, and Robert Jordan watched his face sweat. “Thou wilt blow no bridge
here.” “No?”
“Thou
wilt blow no bridge,” Pablo said heavily. “And
thou?” Robert Jordan spoke to the wife of Pablo who was standing, still and huge,
by the fire. She turned toward them and said, “I am for the bridge.” Her face
was lit
by the fire and it was flushed and it shone warm and dark and handsome now in
the firelight
as it was meant to be. “What
do you say?” Pablo said to her and Robert Jordan saw the betrayed look on his
face
and the sweat on his forehead as he turned his head. “I
am for the bridge and against thee,” the wife of Pablo said. “Nothing more.” “I
am also for the bridge,” the man with the flat face and the broken nose said,
crushing
the end of the cigarette on the table. “To
me the bridge means nothing,” one of the brothers said. “I am for the mujer
of Pablo.”
“Equally,”
said the other brother. “Equally,”
the gypsy said. Robert
Jordan watched Pablo and as he watched, letting his right hand hang lower and
lower, ready if it should be necessary, half hoping it would be (feeling
perhaps that were
the simplest and easiest yet not wishing to spoil what had gone so well,
knowing how
quickly all of a family, all of a clan, all of a band, can turn against a
stranger in a quarrel,
yet thinking what could be done with the hand were the simplest and best and surgically
the most sound now that this had happened), saw also the wife of Pablo standing
there and watched her blush proudly and soundly and healthily as the allegiances
were given. “I
am for the Republic,” the woman of Pablo said happily. “And the Republic is
the bridge.
Afterwards we will have time for other projects.” “And
thou,” Pablo said bitterly. “With your head of a seed bull and your heart of
a whore.
Thou thinkest there will be an afterwards from this bridge? Thou hast an idea
of that
which will pass?” “That
which must pass,” the woman of Pablo said. “That which must pass, will pass.”
“And
it means nothing to thee to be hunted then like a beast after this thing from
which we
derive no profit? Nor to die in it?” “Nothing,”
the woman of Pablo said. “And do not try to frighten me, coward.” “Coward,”
Pablo said bitterly. “You treat a man as coward because he has a tactical sense.
Because he can see the results of an idiocy in advance. It is not cowardly to
know
what is foolish.” “Neither
is it foolish to know what is cowardly,” said Anselmo, unable to resist
making the
phrase. “Do
you want to die?” Pablo said to him seriously and Robert Jordan saw how unrhetorical
was the question. “No.”
“Then
watch thy mouth. You talk too much about things you do not understand. Don’t you
see that this is serious?” he said almost pitifully. “Am I the only one who
sees the seriousness
of this?” I
believe so, Robert Jordan thought. Old Pablo, old boy, I believe so. Except
me. You can
see it and I see it and the woman read it in my hand but she doesn’t see it,
yet. Not yet
she doesn’t see it. “Am
I a leader for nothing?” Pablo asked. “I know what I speak of. You others do
not know.
This old man talks nonsense. He is an old man who is nothing but a messenger and
a guide for foreigners. This foreigner comes here to do a thing for the good
of the foreigners.
For his good we must be sacrificed. I am for the good and the safety of all.”
“Safety,”
the wife of Pablo said. “There is no such thing as safety. There are so many seeking
safety here now that they make a great danger. In seeking safety now you lose
all.”
She
stood now by the table with the big spoon in her hand. “There
is safety,” Pablo said. “Within the danger there is the safety of knowing
what chances
to take. It is like the bullfighter who knowing what he is doing, takes no
chances and
is safe.” “Until
he is gored,” the woman said bitterly. “How many times have I heard matadors talk
like that before they took a goring. How often have I heard Finito say that
it is all knowledge
and that the bull never gored the man; rather the man gored himself on the horn
of the bull. Always do they talk that way in their arrogance before a goring.
Afterwards
we visit them in the clinic.” Now she was mimicking a visit to a bedside, “Hello,
old timer. Hello,” she boomed. Then, “Buenas, Compadre. How goes it, Pilar?” imitating
the weak voice of the wounded bullfighter. “How did this happen, Finito,
Chico, how
did this dirty accident occur to thee?” booming it out in her own voice. Then
talking weak
and small, “It is nothing, woman. Pilar, it is nothing. It shouldn’t have
happened. I killed
him very well, you understand. Nobody could have killed him better. Then
having killed
him exactly as I should and him absolutely dead, swaying on his legs, and
ready to
fall of his own weight, I walked away from him with a certain amount of
arrogance and much
style and from the back he throws me this horn between the cheeks of my buttocks
and it comes out of my liver.” She commenced to laugh, dropping the imitation
of
the almost effeminate bullfighter’s voice and booming again now. “You and
your safety!
Did I live nine years with three of the worst paid matadors in the world not
to learn
about fear and about safety? Speak to me of anything but safety. And thee. What
illusions
I put in thee and how they have turned out! From one year of war thou has become
lazy, a drunkard and a coward.” “In
that way thou hast no right to speak,” Pablo said. “And less even before the
people and
a stranger.” “In
that way will I speak,” the wife of Pablo went on. “Have you not heard? Do
you still believe
that you command here?” “Yes,”
Pablo said. “Here I command.” “Not
in joke,” the woman said. “Here I command! Haven’t you heard la gente? Here
no one
commands but me. You can stay if you wish and eat of the food and drink of
the wine,
but not too bloody much, and share in the work if thee wishes. But here I command.”
“I
should shoot thee and the foreigner both,” Pablo said suilenly. “Try
it,” the woman said. “And see what happens.” “A
cup of water for me,” Robert Jordan said, not taking his eyes from the man
with his sullen
heavy head and the woman standing proudly and confidently holding the big spoon
as authoritatively as though it were a baton. “Maria,”
called the woman of Pablo and when the girl came in the door she said, “Water
for this comrade.” Robert
Jordan reached for his flask and, bringing the flask out, as he brought it he
loosened
the pistol in the holster and swung it on top of his thigh. He poured a
second absinthe
into his cup and took the cup of water the girl brought him and commenced to drip
it into the cup, a little at a time. The girl stood at his elbow, watching
him. “Outside,”
the woman of Pablo said to her, gesturing with the spoon. “It is cold outside,” the girl said, her
cheek close to Robert Jordan’s, watching what was
happening in the cup where the liquor was clouding. “Maybe,”
the woman of Pablo said. “But in here it is too hot.” Then she said, kindly,
“It is
not for long.” The
girl shook her head and went out. I
don’t think he is going to take this much more, Robert Jordan thought to
himself. He held
the cup in one hand and his other hand rested, frankly now, on the pistol. He
had slipped
the safety catch and he felt the worn comfort of the checked grip chafed
almost smooth
and touched the round, cool companionship of the trigger guard. Pablo no longer
looked at him but only at the woman. She went on, “Listen to me, drunkard.
You understand
who commands here?” “I
command.” “No.
Listen. Take the wax from thy hairy ears. Listen well. I command.” Pablo
looked at her and you could tell nothing of what he was thinking by his face.
He looked
at her quite deliberately and then he looked across the table at Robert
Jordan. He
looked at him a long time contemplatively and then he looked back at the
woman, again.
“All
right. You command,” he said. “And if you want he can command too. And the
two of
you can go to hell.” He was looking the woman straight in the face and he was
neither dominated
by her nor seemed to be much affected by her. “It is possible that I am lazy and
that I drink too much. You may consider me a coward but there you are
mistaken. But
I am not stupid.” He paused. “That you should command and that you should
like it. Now
if you are a woman as well as a commander, that we should have something to eat.”
“Maria,”
the woman of Pablo called. The
girl put her head inside the blanket across the cave mouth. “Enter now and
serve the
supper.” The
girl came in and walked across to the low table by the hearth and picked up
the enameled-ware
bowls and brought them to the table. “There
is wine enough for all,” the woman of Pablo said to Robert Jordan. “Pay no attention
to what that drunkard says. When this is finished we will get more. Finish
that rare
thing thou art drinking and take a cup of wine.” Robert
Jordan swallowed down the last of the absinthe, feeling it, gulped that way, making
a warm, small, fume-rising, wet, chemicalchange-producing heat in him and passed
the cup for wine. The girl dipped it full for him and smiled. “Well,
did you see the bridge?” the gypsy asked. The others, who had not opened
their mouths
after the change of allegiance, were all leaning forward to listen now. “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. “It is something easy to do. Would you like me to show you?”
“Yes,
man. With much interest.” Robert
Jordan took out the notebook from his shirt pocket and showed them the sketches.
“Look
how it seems,” the flat-faced man, who was named Primitivo, said. “It is the bridge
itself.” Robert
Jordan with the point of the pencil explained how the bridge should be blown and
the reason for the placing of the charges. “What
simplicity,” the scarred-faced brother, who was called Andrés, said. “And how
do
you explode them?” Robert
Jordan explained that too and, as he showed them, he felt the girl’s arm
resting on
his shoulder as she looked. The woman of Pablo was watching too. Only Pablo
took no
interest, sitting by himself with a cup of wine that he replenished by
dipping into the big
bowl Maria had filled from the wineskin that hung to the left of the entrance
to the cave.
“Hast
thou done much of this?” the girl asked Robert Jordan softly. “Yes.”
“And can we see the doing of it?” “Yes.
Why not?” “You
will see it,” Pablo said from his end of the table. “I believe that you will
see it.” “Shut
up,” the woman of Pablo said to him and suddenly remembering what she had seen
in the hand in the afternoon she was wildly, unreasonably angry. “Shut up,
coward. Shut
up, bad luck bird. Shut up, murderer.” “Good,”
Pablo said. “I shut up. It is thou who commands now and you should continue to
look at the pretty pictures. But remember that I am not stupid.” The
woman of Pablo could feel her rage changing to sorrow and to a feeling of the
thwarting
of all hope and promise. She knew this feeling from when she was a girl and she
knew the things that caused it all through her life. It came now suddenly and
she put it
away from her and would not let it touch her, neither her nor the Republic,
and she said,
“Now we will eat. Serve the bowls from the pot, Maria.” 5 Robert Jordan pushed aside the saddle blanket
that hung over the mouth of the cave and,
stepping out, took a deep breath of the cold night air. The mist had cleared
away and
the stars were out. There was no wind, and, outside now of the warm air of
the cave,
heavy with smoke of both tobacco and charcoal, with the odor of cooked rice
and meat,
saffron, pimentos, and oil, the tarry, wine-spilled smell of the big skin
hung beside the
door, hung by the neck and the four legs extended, wine drawn from a plug
fitted in one
leg, wine that spilled a little onto the earth of the floor, settling the
dust smell; out now
from the odors of different herbs whose names he did not know that hung in bunches
from the ceiling, with long ropes of garlic, away now from the copper-penny, red
wine and garlic, horse sweat and man sweat dried in the clothing (acrid and
gray the man
sweat, sweet and sickly the dried brushed-off lather of horse sweat), of the
men at the
table, Robert Jordan breathed deeply of the clear night air of the mountains
that smelled
of the pines and of the dew on the grass in the meadow by the stream. Dew had
fallen heavily since the wind had dropped, but, as he stood there, he thought
there would
be frost by morning. As
he stood breathing deep and then listening to the night, he heard first,
firing far away,
and then he heard an owl cry in the timber below, where the horse corral was slung.
Then inside the cave he could hear the gypsy starting to sing and the soft chording
of a guitar. “I
had an inheritance from my father,” the artificially hardened voice rose
harshly and hung
there. Then went on: “It
was the moon and the sun “And
though I roam all over the world “The
spending of it’s never done.” The guitar thudded with chorded applause for
the singer. “Good,” Robert Jordan heard some
one say. “Give us the Catalan, gypsy.” “No.”
“Yes.
Yes. The Catalan.” “All
right,” the gypsy said and sang mournfully, “My
nose is flat. “My
face is black. “But
still I am a man.” “Ole!” some one said. “Go on, gypsy!” The
gypsy’s voice rose tragically and mockingly. “Thank God I am a Negro. “And
not a Catalan!” “There is much noise,” Pablo’s voice said.
“Shut up, gypsy.” “Yes,”
he heard the woman’s voice. “There is too much noise. You could call the guardia
civil with that voice and still it has no quality.” “I
know another verse,” the gypsy said and the guitar commenced “Save
it,” the woman told him. The
guitar stopped. “I
am not good in voice tonight. So there is no loss,” the gypsy said and
pushing the blanket
aside he came out into the dark. Robert
Jordan watched him walk over to a tree and then come toward him. “Roberto,”
the gypsy said softly. “Yes,
Rafael,” he said. He knew the gypsy had been affected by the wine from his voice.
He himself had drunk the two absinthes and some wine but his head was clear and
cold from the strain of the difficulty with Pablo. “Why
didst thou not kill Pablo?” the gypsy said very softly. “Why
kill him?” “You
have to kill him sooner or later. Why did you not approve of the moment?” “Do
you speak seriously?” “What
do you think they all waited for? What do you think the woman sent the girl away
for? Do you believe that it is possible to continue after what has been
said?” “That
you all should kill him.” “Qué
va,” the gypsy said quietly. “That is your business. Three or four times we
waited for
you to kill him. Pablo has no friends.” “I
had the idea,” Robert Jordan said. “But I left it.” “Surely
all could see that. Every one noted your preparations. Why didn’t you do it?”
“I
thought it might molest you others or the woman.” “Qué
va. And the woman waiting as a whore waits for the flight of the big bird.
Thou art
younger than thou appearest.” “It
is possible.” “Kill
him now,” the gypsy urged. “That
is to assassinate.” “Even
better,” the gypsy said very softly. “Less danger. Go on. Kill him now.” “I
cannot in that way. It is repugnant to me and it is not how one should act
for the cause.”
“Provoke
him then,” the gypsy said. “But you have to kill him. There is no remedy.” As
they spoke, the owl flew between the trees with the softness of all silence,
dropping past
them, then rising, the wings beating quickly, but with no noise of feathers
moving as
the bird hunted. “Look
at him,” the gypsy said in the dark. “Thus should men move.” “And
in the day, blind in a tree with crows around him,” Robert Jordan said. “Rarely,”
said the gypsy. “And then by hazard. Kill him,” he went on. “Do not let it become
difficult.” “Now
the moment is passed.” “Provoke
it,” the gypsy said. “Or take advantage of the quiet.” The
blanket that closed the cave door opened and light came out. Some one came toward
where they stood. “It
is a beautiful night,” the man said in a heavy, dull voice. “We will have
good weather.”
It
was Pablo. He
was smoking one of the Russian cigarettes and in the glow, as he drew on the cigarette,
his round face showed. They could see his heavy, long-armed body in the starlight.
“Do not pay any attention to the woman,” he
said to Robert Jordan. In the dark the cigarette
glowed bright, then showed in his hand as he lowered it. “She is difficult sometimes.
She is a good woman. Very loyal to the Republic.” The light of the cigarette jerked
slightly now as he spoke. He must be talking with it in the corner of his
mouth, Robert
Jordan thought. “We should have no difficulties. We are of accord. I am glad
you have
come.” The cigarette glowed brightly. “Pay no attention to arguments,” he
said. “You
are very welcome here. “Excuse
me now,” he said. “I go to see how they have picketed the horses.” He
went off through the trees to the edge of the meadow and they heard a horse nicker
from below. “You
see?” the gypsy said. “Now you see? In this way has the moment escaped.” Robert
Jordan said nothing. “I
go down there,” the gypsy said angrily. “To
do what?” “Qué
va, to do what. At least to prevent him leaving.” “Can
he leave with a horse from below?” “No.”
“Then
go to the spot where you can prevent him.” “Agustín
is there.” “Go
then and speak with Agustín. Tell him that which has happened.” “Agustín
will kill him with pleasure.” “Less
bad,” Robert Jordan said. “Go then above and tell him all as it happened.” “And
then?” “I
go to look below in the meadow.” “Good.
Man. Good,” he could not see Rafael’s face in the dark but he could feel him smiling.
“Now you have tightened your garters,” the gypsy said approvingly. “Go
to Agustín,” Robert Jordan said to him. “Yes,
Roberto, yes,” said the gypsy. Robert
Jordan walked through the pines, feeling his way from tree to tree to the
edge of
the meadow. Looking across it in the darkness, lighter here in the open from
the starlight,
he saw the dark bulks of the picketed horses. He counted them where they were
scattered between him and the stream. There were five. Robert Jordan sat down
at
the foot of a pine tree and looked out across the meadow. I
am tired, he thought, and perhaps my judgment is not good. But my obligation
is the bridge
and to fulfill that, I must take no useless risk of myself until I complete
that duty. Of
course it is sometimes more of a risk not to accept chances which are
necessary to take
but I have done this so far, trying to let the situation take its own course.
If it is true, as
the gypsy says, that they expected me to kill Pablo then I should have done
that. But it
was never clear to me that they did expect that. For a stranger to kill where
he must work
with the people afterwards is very bad. It may be done in action, and it may
be done
if backed by sufficient discipline, but in this case I think it would be very
bad, although
it was a temptation and seemed a short and simple way. But I do not believe anything
is that short nor that simple in this country and, while I trust the woman absolutely,
I could not tell how she would react to such a drastic thing. One dying in such
a place can be very ugly, dirty and repugnant. You could not tell how she
would react.
Without the woman there is no organization nor any discipline here and with
the woman
it can be very good. It would be ideal if she would kill him, or if the gypsy
would (but
he will not) or if the sentry, Agustín, would. Anselmo will if I ask it,
though he says he
is against all killing. He hates him, I believe, and he already trusts me and
believes in me
as a representative of what he believes in. Only he and the woman really
believe in the
Republic as far as I can see; but it is too early to know that yet. As
his eyes became used to the starlight he could see that Pablo was standing by
one of
the horses. The horse lifted his head from grazing; then dropped it
impatiently. Pablo was
standing by the horse, leaning against him, moving with him as he swung with
the length
of the picket rope and patting him on the neck. The horse was impatient at
the tenderness
while he was feeding. Robert Jordan could not see what Pablo was doing, nor
hear what he was saying to the horse, but he could see that he was neither unpicketing
nor saddling. He sat watching him, trying to think his problem out clearly. “Thou
my big good little pony,” Pablo was saying to the horse in the dark; it was
the big
bay stallion he was speaking to. “Thou lovely white-faced big beauty. Thou
with the big
neck arching like the viaduct of my pueblo,” he stopped. “But arching more
and much
finer.” The horse was snatching grass, swinging his head sideways as he
pulled, annoyed
by the man and his talking. “Thou art no woman nor a fool,” Pablo told the
bay horse.
“Thou, oh, thou, thee, thee, my big little pony. Thou art no woman like a
rock that is
burning. Thou art no colt of a girl with cropped head and the movement of a foal
still wet
from its mother. Thou dost not insult nor lie nor not understand. Thou, oh,
thee, oh my
good big little pony.” It
would have been very interesting for Robert Jordan to have heard Pablo
speaking to the
bay horse but he did not hear him because now, convinced that Pablo was only down
checking on his horses, and having decided that it was not a practical move
to kill him
at this time, he stood up and walked back to the cave. Pablo stayed in the
meadow talking
to the horse for a long time. The horse understood nothing that he said;
only, from
the tone of the voice, that they were endearments and he had been in the
corral all day
and was hungry now, grazing impatiently at the limits of his picket rope, and
the man
annoyed him. Pablo shifted the picket pin finally and stood by the horse, not
talking now.
The horse went on grazing and was relieved now that the man did not bother
him. 6 Inside the cave, Robert Jordan sat on one of
the rawhide stools in a corner by the fire listening
to the woman. She was washing the dishes and the girl, Maria, was drying them
and putting them away, kneeling to place them in the hollow dug in the wall
that was
used as a shelf. “It
is strange,” she said. “That El Sordo has not come. He should have been here
an hour
ago.” “Did
you advise him to come?” “No.
He comes each night.” “Perhaps
he is doing something. Some work.” “It
is possible,” she said. “If he does not come we must go to see him tomorrow.”
“Yes.
Is it far from here?” “No.
It will be a good trip. I lack exercise.” “Can
I go?” Maria asked. “May I go too, Pilar?” “Yes,
beautiful,” the woman said, then turning her big face, “Isn’t she pretty?”
she asked
Robert Jordan. “How does she seem to thee? A little thin?” “To
me she seems very well,” Robert Jordan said. Maria filled his cup with wine.
“Drink that,”
she said. “It will make me seem even better. It is necessary to drink much of
that for
me to seem beautiful.” “Then
I had better stop,” Robert Jordan said. “Already thou seemest beautiful and more.”
“That’s
the way to talk,” the woman said. “You talk like the good ones. What more does
she seem?” “Intelligent,”
Robert Jordan said lamely. Maria giggled and the woman shook her head sadly.
“How well you begin and how it ends, Don Roberto.” “Don’t
call me Don Roberto.” “It
is a joke. Here we say Don Pablo for a joke. As we say the Señorita Maria for
a joke.”
“I
don’t joke that way,” Robert Jordan said. “Camarada to me is what all should
be called
with seriousness in this war. In the joking commences a rottenness.” “Thou
art very religious about thy politics,” the woman teased him. “Thou makest no
jokes?”
“Yes. I care much for jokes but not in the
form of address. It is like a flag.” “I
could make jokes about a flag. Any flag,” the woman laughed. “To me no one
can joke
of anything. The old flag of yellow and gold we called pus and blood. The
flag of the Republic
with the purple added we call blood, pus and permanganate. It is a joke.” “He
is a Communist,” Maria said. “They are very serious gente.” “Are
you a Communist?” “No
I am an anti-fascist.” “For
a long time?” “Since
I have understood fascism.” “How
long is that?” “For
nearly ten years.” “That
is not much time,” the woman said. “I have been a Republican for twenty
years.” “My
father was a Republican all his life,” Maria said. “It was for that they shot
him.” “My
father was also a Republican all his life. Also my grandfather,” Robert
Jordan said.
“In
what country?” “The
United States.” “Did
they shoot them?” the woman asked. “Qué
va,” Maria said. “The United States is a country of Republicans. They don’t
shoot you
for being a Republican there.” “All
the same it is a good thing to have a grandfather who was a Republican,” the woman
said. “It shows a good blood.” “My
grandfather was on the Republican national committee,” Robert Jordan said.
That impressed
even Maria. “And
is thy father still active in the Republic?” Pilar asked. “No.
He is dead.” “Can
one ask how he died?” “He
shot himself.” “To
avoid being tortured?” the woman asked. “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. “To avoid being tortured.” Maria
looked at him with tears in her eyes. “My father,” she said, “could not
obtain a weapon.
Oh, I am very glad that your father had the good fortune to obtain a weapon.”
“Yes.
It was pretty lucky,” Robert Jordan said. “Should we talk about something
else?” “Then
you and me we are the same,” Maria said. She put her hand on his arm and looked
in his face. He looked at her brown face and at the eyes that, since he had
seen them,
had never been as young as the rest of her face but that now were suddenly hungry
and young and wanting. “You
could be brother and sister by the look,” the woman said. “But I believe it
is fortunate
that you are not.” “Now
I know why I have felt as I have,” Maria said. “Now it is clear.” “Qué
va,” Robert Jordan said and reaching over, he ran his hand over the top of
her head.
He had been wanting to do that all day and now he did it, he could feel his
throat swelling.
She moved her head under his hand and smiled up at him and he felt the thick but
silky roughness of the cropped head rippling between his fingers. Then his
hand was on
her neck and then he dropped it. “Do
it again,” she said. “I wanted you to do that all day.” “Later,”
Robert Jordan said and his voice was thick. “And
me,” the woman of Pablo said in her booming voice. “I am expected to watch
all this?
I am expected not to be moved? One cannot. For fault of anything better; that
Pablo
should come back.” Maria
took no notice of her now, nor of the others playing cards at the table by
the candlelight.
“Do
you want another cup of wine, Roberto?” she asked. “Yes,”
he said. “Why not?” “You’re
going to have a drunkard like I have,” the woman of Pablo said. “With that
rare thing
he drank in the cup and all. Listen to me, Inglés.” “Not
Inglés. American.” “Listen,
then, American. Where do you plan to sleep?” “Outside.
I have a sleeping robe.” “Good,”
she said. “The night is clear?” “And
will be cold.” “Outside
then,” she said. “Sleep thee outside. And thy materials can sleep with me.” “Good,”
said Robert Jordan. “Leave
us for a moment,” Robert Jordan said to the girl and put his hand on her shoulder.
“Why?”
“I
wish to speak to Pilar.” “Must
I go?” “Yes.”
“What
is it?” the woman of Pablo said when the girl had gone over to the mouth of
the cave
where she stood by the big wineskin, watching the card players. “The
gypsy said I should have—” he began. “No,”
the woman interrupted. “He is mistaken.” “If
it is necessary that I—” Robert Jordan said quietly but with difficulty. “Thee
would have done it, I believe,” the woman said. “Nay, it is not necessary. I
was watching
thee. But thy judgment was good.” “But
if it is needful—” “No,”
the woman said. “I tell you it is not needful. The mind of the gypsy is
corrupt.” “But
in weakness a man can be a great danger.” “No.
Thou dost not understand. Out of this one has passed all capacity for
danger.” “I
do not understand.” “Thou
art very young still,” she said. “You will understand.” Then, to the girl,
“Come, Maria.
We are not talking more.” The
girl came over and Robert Jordan reached his hand out and patted her head.
She stroked
under his hand like a kitten. Then he thought that she was going to cry. But
her lips
drew up again and she looked at him and smiled. “Thee
would do well to go to bed now,” the woman said to Robert Jordan. “Thou hast had
a long journey.” “Good,”
said Robert Jordan. “I will get my things.” 7 He was asleep in the robe and he had been
asleep, he thought, for a long time. The robe
was spread on the forest floor in the lee of the rocks beyond the cave mouth
and as
he slept, he turned, and turning rolled on his pistol which was fastened by a
lanyard to
one wrist and had been by his side under the cover when he went to sleep,
shoulder and
back weary, leg-tired, his muscles pulled with tiredness so that the ground
was soft, and
simply stretching in the robe against the flannel lining was voluptuous with
fatigue. Waking,
he wondered where he was, knew, and then shifted the pistol from under his side
and settled happily to stretch back into sleep, his hand on the pillow of his
clothing that
was bundled neatly around his rope-soled shoes. He had one arm around the pillow.
Then
he felt her hand on his shoulder and turned quickly, his right hand holding
the pistol
under the robe. “Oh,
it is thee,” he said and dropping the pistol he reached both arms up and
pulled her
down. With his arms around her he could feel her shivering. “Get
in,” he said softly. “It is cold out there.” “No.
I must not.” “Get
in,” he said. “And we can talk about it later.” She
was trembling and he held her wrist now with one hand and held her lightly
with the
other arm. She had turned her head away. “Get
in, little rabbit,” he said and kissed her on the back of the neck. “I
am afraid.” “No.
Do not be afraid. Get in.” “How?”
“Just
slip in. There is much room. Do you want me to help you?” “No,”
she said and then she was in the robe and he was holding her tight to him and
trying
to kiss her lips and she was pressing her face against the pillow of clothing
but holding
her arms close around his neck. Then he felt her arms relax and she was shivering
again as he held her. “No,”
he said and laughed. “Do not be afraid. That is the pistol.” He
lifted it and slipped it behind him. “I am
ashamed,” she said, her face away from him. “No.
You must not be. Here. Now.” “No,
I must not. I am ashamed and frightened.” “No.
My rabbit. Please.” “I
must not. If thou dost not love me.” “I
love thee.” “I
love thee. Oh, I love thee. Put thy hand on my head,” she said away from him,
her face
still in the pillow. He put his hand on her head and stroked it and then
suddenly her face
was away from the pillow and she was in his arms, pressed close against him,
and her
face was against his and she was crying. He
held her still and close, feeling the long length of the young body, and he
stroked her
head and kissed the wet saltiness of her eyes, and as she cried he could feel
the rounded,
firm-pointed breasts touching through the shirt she wore. “I
cannot kiss,” she said. “I do not know how.” “There
is no need to kiss.” “Yes.
I must kiss. I must do everything.” “There
is no need to do anything. We are all right. But thou hast many clothes.” “What
should I do?” “I
will help you.” “Is
that better?” “Yes.
Much. It is not better to thee?” “Yes.
Much better. And I can go with thee as Pilar said?” “Yes.”
“But
not to a home. With thee.” “No,
to a home.” “No.
No. No. With thee and I will be thy woman.” Now
as they lay all that before had been shielded was unshielded. Where there had
been
roughness of fabric all was smooth with a smoothness and firm rounded
pressing and
a long warm coolness, cool outside and warm within, long and light and
closely holding,
closely held, lonely, hollow-making with contours, happymaking, young and loving
and now all warmly smooth with a hollowing, chest-aching, tight-held
loneliness that
was such that Robert Jordan felt he could not stand it and he said, “Hast
thou loved others?”
“Never.”
Then
suddenly, going dead in his arms, “But things were done to me.” “By
whom?” “By
various.” Now
she lay perfectly quietly and as though her body were dead and turned her
head away
from him. “Now
you will not love me.” “I
love you,” he said. But
something had happened to him and she knew it. “No,”
she said and her voice had gone dead and flat. “Thou wilt not love me. But perhaps
thou wilt take me to the home. And I will go to the home and I will never be
thy woman
nor anything.” “I
love thee, Maria.” “No.
It is not true,” she said. Then as a last thing pitifully and hopefully. “But
I have never kissed any man.” “Then
kiss me now.” “I
wanted to,” she said. “But I know not how. Where things were done to me I fought
until
I could not see. I fought until— until—until one sat upon my head—and I bit
him— and
then they tied my mouth and held my arms behind my head—and others did things
to
me.” “I
love thee, Maria,” he said. “And no one has done anything to thee. Thee, they
cannot
touch. No one has touched thee, little rabbit.” “You
believe that?” “I
know it.” “And
you can love me?” warm again against him now. “I
can love thee more.” “I
will try to kiss thee very well.” “Kiss
me a little.” “I
do not know how.” “Just
kiss me.” She
kissed him on the cheek. “No.”
“Where
do the noses go? I always wondered where the noses would go.” “Look,
turn thy head,” and then their mouths were tight together and she lay close pressed
against him and her mouth opened a little gradually and then, suddenly,
holding her
against him, he was happier than he had ever been, lightly, lovingly,
exultingly, innerly
happy and unthinking and untired and unworried and only feeling a great
delight and
he said, “My little rabbit. My darling. My sweet. My long lovely.” “What
do you say?” she said as though from a great distance away. “My
lovely one,” he said. They
lay there and he felt her heart beating against his and with the side of his
foot he stroked
very lightly against the side of hers. “Thee
came barefooted,” he said. “Yes.”
“Then
thee knew thou wert coming to the bed.” “Yes.”
“And
you had no fear.” “Yes.
Much. But more fear of how it would be to take my shoes off.” “And
what time is it now? lo sabes?” “No.
Thou hast no watch?” “Yes.
But it is behind thy back.” “Take
it from there.” “No.”
“Then
look over my shoulder.” It
was one o’clock. The dial showed bright in the darkness that the robe made. “Thy
chin scratches my shoulder.” “Pardon
it. I have no tools to shave.” “I
like it. Is thy beard blond?” “Yes.”
“And
will it be long?” “Not
before the bridge. Maria, listen. Dost thou—?” “Do
I what?” “Dost
thou wish?” “Yes.
Everything. Please. And if we do everything together, the other maybe never
will have
been.” “Did you think of that?” “No.
I think it in myself but Pilar told me.” “She
is very wise.” “And
another thing,” Maria said softly. “She said for me to tell you that I am not
sick. She
knows about such things and she said to tell you that.” “She
told you to tell me?” “Yes.
I spoke to her and told her that I love you. I loved you when I saw you today
and I
loved you always but I never saw you before and I told Pilar and she said if
I ever told you
anything about anything, to tell you that I was not sick. The other thing she
told me long
ago. Soon after the train.” “What
did she say?” “She
said that nothing is done to oneself that one does not accept and that if I
loved some
one it would take it all away. I wished to die, you see.” “What
she said is true.” “And
now I am happy that I did not die. I am so happy that I did not die. And you
can love
me?” “Yes.
I love you now.” “And
I can be thy woman?” “I
cannot have a woman doing what I ao. But thou art my woman now.” “If
once I am, then I will keep on. Am I thy woman now?” “Yes,
Maria. Yes, my little rabbit.” She
held herself tight to him and her lips looked for his and then found them and
were against
them and he felt her, fresh, new and smooth and young and lovely with the warm,
scalding coolness and unbelievable to be there in the robe that was as
familiar as his
clothes, or his shoes, or his duty and then she said, frightenedly, “And now
let us do quickly
what it is we do so that the other is all gone.” “You
want?” “Yes,”
she said almost fiercely. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” 8 It was cold in the night and Robert Jordan
slept heavily. Once he woke and, stretching,
realized that the girl was there, curled far down in the robe, breathing
lightly and
regularly, and in the dark, bringing his head in from the cold, the sky hard
and sharp with
stars, the air cold in his nostrils, he put his head under the warmth of the
robe and kissed
her smooth shoulder. She did not wake and he rolled onto his side away from
her and
with his head out of the robe in the cold again, lay awake a moment feeling
the long,
seeping luxury of his fatigue and then the smooth tactile happiness of their
two bodies
touching and then, as he pushed his legs out deep as they would go in the
robe, he
slipped down steeply into sleep. He
woke at first daylight and the girl was gone. He knew it as he woke and,
putting out his
arm, he felt the robe warm where she had been. He looked at the mouth of the
cave where
the blanket showed frost-rimmed and saw the thin gray smoke from the crack in
the
rocks that meant the kitchen fire was lighted. A
man came out of the timber, a blanket worn over his head like a poncho Robert
Jordan
saw it was Pablo and that he was smoking a cigarette. He’s been down corralling
the horses, he thought. Pablo
pulled open the blanket and went into the cave without looking toward Robert Jordan.
Robert
Jordan felt with his hand the light frost that lay on the worn, spotted green
balloon
silk outer covering of the five-year-old down robe, then settled into it
again. Bueno,
he said to himself, feeling the familiar caress of the flannel lining as he
spread his
legs wide, then drew them together and then turned on his side so that his
head would
be away from the direction where he knew the sun would come. Qué más da, I might
as well sleep some more. He slept until the sound of airplane motors
woke him. Lying
on his back, he saw them, a fascist patrol of three Fiats, tiny, bright,
fast-moving across
the mountain sky, headed in the direction from which Anselmo and he had come yesterday.
The three passed and then came nine more, flying much higher in the minute,
pointed formations of threes, threes and threes. Pablo
and the gypsy were standing at the cave mouth, in the shadow, watching the sky
and as Robert Jordan lay still, the sky now full of the high hammering roar
of motors, there
was a new droning roar and three more planes came over at less than a
thousand feet
above the clearing. These three were Heinkel one-elevens, twin-motor bombers.
Robert
Jordan, his head in the shadow of the rocks, knew they would not see him, and
that
it did not matter if they did. He knew they could possibly see the horses in
the corral if
they were looking for anything in these mountains. If they were not looking
for anything they
might still see them but would naturally take them for some of their own
cavalry mounts.
Then came a new and louder droning roar and three more Heinkel one-elevens showed
coming steeply, stiffly, lower yet, crossing in rigid formation, their
pounding roar approaching
in crescendo to an absolute of noise and then receding as they passed the clearing.
Robert
Jordan unrolled the bundle of clothing that made his pillow and pulled on his
shirt.
It was over his head and he was pulling it down when he heard the next planes
coming
and he pulled his trousers on under the robe and lay still as three more of
the Heinkel
bimotor bombers came over. Before they were gone over the shoulder of the mountain,
he had buckled on his pistol, rolled the robe and placed it against the rocks
and
sat now, close against the rocks, tying his rope-soled shoes when the
approaching droning
turned to a greater clattering roar than ever before and nine more Heinkel
light bombers
came in echelons; hammering the sky apart as they went over. Robert
Jordan slipped along the rocks to the mouth of the cave where one of the brothers,
Pablo, the gypsy, Anselmo, Agustín and the woman stood in the mouth looking out.
“Have
there been planes like this before?” he asked. “Never,”
said Pablo. “Get in. They will see thee.” The
sun had not yet hit the mouth of the cave. It was just now shining on the
meadow by
the stream and Robert Jordan knew they could not be seen in the dark, early morning
shadow of the trees and the solid shade the rocks made, but he went in the cave
in order not to make them nervous. “They
are many,” the woman said. “And
there will be more,” Robert Jordan said. “How
do you know?” Pablo asked suspiciously. “Those,
just now, will have pursuit planes with them.” Just
then they heard them, the higher, whining drone, and as they passed at about five
thousand feet, Robert Jordan counted fifteen Fiats in echelon of echelons
like a wild-goose
flight of the V-shaped threes. In
the cave entrance their faces all looked very sober and Robert Jordan said,
“You have
not seen this many planes?” “Never,”
said Pablo. “There
are not many at Segovia?” “Never
has there been, we have seen three usually. Sometimes six of the chasers. Perhaps
three Junkers, the big ones with the three motors, with the chasers with
them. Never
have we seen planes like this.” It
is bad, Robert Jordan thought. This is really bad. Here is a concentration of
planes which
means something very bad. I must listen for them to unload. But no, they
cannot have
brought up the troops yet for the attack. Certainly not before tonight or
tomorrow night,
certainly not yet. Certainly they will not be moving anything at this hour. He
could still hear the receding drone. He looked at his watch. By now they
should be over
the lines, the first ones anyway. He Pushed the knob that set the second hand
to clicking
and watched it move around. No, perhaps not yet. By now. Yes. Well over by now.
Two hundred and fifty miles an hour for those one-elevens anyway. Five
minutes would
carry them there. By now they’re well beyond the pass with Castile all yellow
and tawny
beneath them now in the morning, the yellow crossed by white roads and
spotted with
the small villages and the shadows of the Heinkels moving over the land as
the shadows
of sharks pass over a sandy floor of the ocean. There
was no bump, bump, bumping thud of bombs. His watch ticked on. They’re
going on to Colmenar, to Escorial, or to the flying field at Manzanares el
Real, he
thought, with the old castle above the lake with the ducks in the reeds and
the fake airfield
just behind the real field with the dummy planes, not quite hidden, their
props turning
in the wind. That’s where they must be headed. They can’t know about the attack,
he told himself and something in him said, why can’t they? They’ve known
about all
the others. “Do
you think they saw the horses?” Pablo asked. “Those
weren’t looking for horses,” Robert Jordan said. “But
did they see them?” “Not
unless they were asked to look for them.” “Could
they see them?” “Probably
not,” Robert Jordan said. “Unless the sun were on the trees.” “It
is on them very early,” Pablo said miserably. “I
think they have other things to think of besides thy horses,” Robert Jordan
said. It
was eight minutes since he had pushed the lever on the stop watch and there
was still
no sound of bombing. “What
do you do with the watch?” the woman asked. “I
listen where they have gone.” “Oh,”
she said. At ten minutes he stopped looking at the watch knowing it would be
too far
away to hear, now, even allowing a minute for the sound to travel, and said
to Anselmo,
“I would speak to thee.” Anselmo
came out of the cave mouth and they walked a little way from the entrance and
stood beside a pine tree. “Qué
tal?” Robert Jordan asked him. “How goes it?” “All
right.” “Hast
thou eaten?” “No.
No one has eaten.” “Eat
then and take something to eat at mid-day. I want you to go to watch the
road. Make
a note of everything that passes both up and down the road.” “I
do not write.” “There
is no need to,” Robert Jordan took out two leaves from his notebook and with his
knife cut an inch from the end of his pencil. “Take this and make a mark for
tanks thus,”
he drew a slanted tank, “and then a mark for each one and when there are four,
cross
the four strokes for the fifth.” “In
this way we count also.” “Good.
Make another mark, two wheels and a box, for trucks. If they are empty make a
circle. If they are full of troops make a straight mark. Mark for guns. Big
ones, thus. Small
ones, thus. Mark for cars. Mark for ambulances. Thus, two wheels and a box
with a
cross on it. Mark for troops on foot by companies, like this, see? A little
square and then
mark beside it. Mark for cavalry, like this, you see? Like a horse. A box
with four legs.
That is a troop of twenty horse. You understand? Each troop a mark.” “Yes.
It is ingenious.” “Now,”
he drew two large wheels with circles around them and a short line for a gun barrel.
“These are anti-tanks. They have rubber tires. Mark for them. These are anti- aircraft,”
two wheels with the gun barrel slanted up. “Mark for them also. Do you understand?
Have you seen such guns?” “Yes,”
Anselmo said. “Of course. It is clear.” “Take
the gypsy with you that he will know from what point you will be watching so
you may
be relieved. Pick a place that is safe, not too close and from where you can
see well
and comfortably. Stay until you are relieved.” “I
understand.” “Good.
And that when you come back, I should know everything that moved upon the road.
One paper is for movement up. One is for movement down the road.” They
walked over toward the cave. “Send
Rafael to me,” Robert Jordan said and waited by the tree. He watched Anselmo go
into the cave, the blanket falling behind him. The gypsy sauntered out,
wiping his mouth
with his hand. “Qué
tal?” the gypsy said. “Did you divert yourself last night?” “I
slept.” “Less
bad,” the gypsy said and grinned. “Have you a cigarette?” “Listen,”
Robert Jordan said and felt in his pocket for the cigarettes. “I wish you to
go with
Anselmo to a place from which he will observe the road. There you will leave
him, noting
the place in order that you may guide me to it or guide whoever will relieve
him later.
You will then go to where you can observe the saw mill and note if there are
any changes
in the post there.” “What
changes?” “How
many men are there now?” “Eight.
The last I knew.” “See
how many are there now. See at what intervals the guard is relieved at that bridge.”
“Intervals?”
“How
many hours the guard stays on and at what time a change is made.” “I
have no watch.” “Take
mine.” He unstrapped it. “What
a watch,” Rafael said admiringly. “Look at what complications. Such a watch should
be able to read and write. Look at what complications of numbers. It’s a
watch to end
watches.” “Don’t
fool with it,” Robert Jordan said. “Can you tell time?” “Why
not? Twelve o’clock mid-day. Hunger. Twelve o’clock midnight. Sleep. Six o’clock
in the morning, hunger. Six o’clock at night, drunk. With luck. Ten o’clock
at night—”
“Shut
up,” Robert Jordan said. “You don’t need to be a clown. I want you to check
on the
guard at the big bridge and the post on the road below in the same manner as
the post
and the guard at the saw mill and the small bridge.” “It
is much work,” the gypsy smiled. “You are sure there is no one you would
rather send
than me?” “No,
Rafael. It is very important. That you should do it very carefully and
keeping out of
sight with care.” “I
believe I will keep out of sight,” the gypsy said. “Why do you tell me to
keep out of sight?
You think I want to be shot?” “Take
things a little seriously,” Robert Jordan said. “This is serious.” “Thou
askest me to take things seriously? After what thou didst last night? When
thou needest
to kill a man and instead did what you did? You were supposed to kill one,
not make
one! When we have just seen the sky full of airplanes of a quantity to kill
us back to
our grandfathers and forward to all unborn grandsons including all cats,
goats and bedbugs.
Airplanes making a noise to curdle the milk in your mother’s breasts as they pass
over darkening the sky and roaring like lions and you ask me to take things seriously.
I take them too seriously already.” “All
right,” said Robert Jordan and laughed and put his hand on the gypsy’s
shoulder. “Don’t
take them too seriously then. Now finish your breakfast and go.” “And
thou?” the gypsy asked. “What do you do?” “I
go to see El Sordo.” “After
those airplanes it is very possible that thou wilt find nobody in the whole mountains,”
the gypsy said. “There must have been many people sweating the big drop this
morning when those passed.” “Those
have other work than hunting guerillas.” “Yes,”
the gypsy said. Then shook his head. “But when they care to undertake that work.”
“Qué
va,” Robert Jordan said. “Those are the best of the German light bombers.
They do
not send those after gypsies.” “They
give me a horror,” Rafael said. “Of such things, yes, I am frightened.” “They
go to bomb an airfield,” Robert Jordan told him as they went into the cave.
“I am almost
sure they go for that.” “What
do you say?” the woman of Pablo asked. She poured him a bowl of coffee and handed
him a can of condensed milk. “There
is milk? What luxury!” “There
is everything,” she said. “And since the planes there is much fear. Where did
you
say they went?” Robert
Jordan dripped some of the thick milk into his coffee from the slit cut in
the can, wiped
the can on the rim of the cup, and stirred the coffee until it was light
brown. “They
go to bomb an airfield I believe. They might go to Escorial and Colmenar. Perhaps
a!! three.” “That
they should go a long way and keep away from here,” Pablo said. “And
why are they here now?” the woman asked. “What brings them now? Never have we
seen such planes. Nor in such quantity. Do they prepare an attack?” “What
movement was there on the road last night?” Robert Jordan asked. The girl Maria
was close to him but he did not look at her. “You,”
the woman said. “Fernando. You were in La Granja last night. What movement was
there?” “Nothing,”
a short, open-faced man of about thirty-five with a cast in one eye, whom Robert
Jordan had not seen before, answered. “A few camions as usual. Some cars. No movement
of troops while I was there.” “You
go into La Granja every night?” Robert Jordan asked him. “I
or another,” Fernando said. “Some one goes.” “They
go for the news. For tobacco. For small things,” the woman said. “We
have people there?” “Yes.
Why not? Those who work the power plant. Some others.” “What
was the news?” “Pues
nada. There was nothing. It still goes badly in the north. That is not news.
In the north
it has gone badly now since the beginning.” “Did
you hear anything from Segovia?” “No,
hombre. I did not ask.” “Do
you go into Segovia?” “Sometimes,”
Fernando said. “But there is danger. There are controls where they ask for
your papers.” “Do
you know the airfield?” “No,
hombre. I know where it is but I was never close to it. There, there is much
asking for
papers.” “No
one spoke about these planes last night?” “In
La Gnanja? Nobody. But they will talk about them tonight certainly. They
talked about
the broadcast of Quiepo de Llano. Nothing more. Oh, yes. It seems that the Republic
is preparing an offensive.” “That
what?” “That
the Republic is preparing an offensive.” “Where?”
“It
is not certain. Perhaps here. Perhaps for another pant of the Sierra. Hast
thou heard
of it?” “They
say this in La Granja?” “Yes,
hombre. I had forgotten it. But there is a!ways much talk of offensives.” “Where does this talk come from?” “Where?
Why from different people. The officers speak in the cafés in Segovia and Avila
and the waiters note it. The rumors come running. Since some time they speak
of an
offensive by the Republic in these parts.” “By
the Republic or by the Fascists?” “By
the Republic. If it were by the Fascists all would know of it. No, this is an
offensive of
quite some size. Some say there are two. One here and the other over the Alto
del Leon
near the Escorial. Have you heard aught of this?” “What
else did you hear?” “Nada,
hombre. Nothing. Oh, yes. There was some talk that the Republicans would try to
blow up the bridges, if there was to be an offensive. But the bridges are
guarded.” “Art
thou joking?” Robert Jordan said, sipping his coffee. “No,
hombre,” said Fernando. “This
one doesn’t joke,” the woman said. “Bad luck that he doesn’t.” “Then,”
said Robert Jordan. “Thank you for all the news. Did you hear nothing more?” “No.
They talk, as always, of troops to be sent to clear out these mountains.
There is some
talk that they are on the way. That they Rave been sent already from
Valladolid. But
they always talk in that Way. It is not to give any importance to.” “And
thou,” the woman of Pablo said to Pablo almost viciously. “With thy talk of safety.”
Pablo
looked at her reflectively and scratched his chin. “Thou,” he said. “And thy bridges.”
“What
bridges?” asked Fernando cheerfully. “Stupid,”
the woman said to him. “Thick head. Tonto. Take another cup of coffee and try
to remember more news.” “Don’t
be angry, Pilar,” Fernando said calmly and cheerfully. “Neither should one become
alarmed at rumors. I have told thee and this comrade all that I remember.” “You
don’t remember anything more?” Robert Jordan asked. “No,”
Fernando said with dignity. “And I am fortunate to remember this because,
since it
was but rumors, I paid no attention to any of it.” “Then
there may have been more?” “Yes.
It is possible. But I paid no attention. For a year I have heard nothing but rumors.”
Robert
Jordan heard a quick, control-breaking sniff of laughter from the girl,
Maria, who
was standing behind him. “Tell
us one more rumor, Fernandito,” she said and then her shoulders shook again. “If
I could remember, I would not,” Fernando said. “It is beneath a man’s dignity
to listen
and give importance to rumors.” “And
with this we will save the Republic,” the woman said. “No.
You will save it by blowing bridges,” Pablo told her. “Go,”
said Robert Jordan to Anselmo and Rafael. “If you have eaten.” “We
go now,” the old man said and the two of them stood up. Robert Jordan felt a hand
on his shoulder. It was Maria. “Thou shouldst eat,” she said and let her hand
rest there.
“Eat well so that thy stomach can support more rumors.” “The
rumors have taken the place of the appetite.” “No.
It should not be so. Eat this now before more rumors come.” She put the bowl before
him. “Do
not make a joke of me,” Fernando said to her. “I am thy good friend, Maria.” “I
do not joke at thee, Fernando. I only joke with him and he should eat or he
will be hungry.”
“We
should all eat,” Fernando said. “Pilar, what passes that we are not served?” “Nothing,
man,” the woman of Pablo said and filled his bowl with the meat stew. “Eat. Yes,
that’s what you can do. Eat now.” “It
is very good, Pilar,” Fernando said, all dignity intact. “Thank
you,” said the woman. “Thank you and thank you again.” “Are you angry at me?” Fernando asked. “No.
Eat. Go ahead and eat.” “I
will,” said Fernando. “Thank you.” Robert
Jordan looked at Maria and her shoulders started shaking again and she looked
away. Fernando ate steadily, a proud and dignified expression on his face,
the dignity
of which could not be affected even by the huge spoon that he was using or
the slight
dripping of juice from the stew which ran from the corners of his mouth. “Do
you like the food?” the woman of Pablo asked him. “Yes,
Pilar,” he said with his mouth full. “It is the same as usual.” Robert
Jordan felt Maria’s hand on his arm and felt her fingers tighten with
delight. “It
is for that that you like it?” the woman asked Fernando. “Yes,”
she said. “I see. The stew; as usual. Como siempre. Things are bad in the north;
as usual. An offensive here; as usual. That troops come to hunt us out; as
usual. You
could serve as a monument to as usual.” “But
the last two are only rumors, Pilar.” “Spain,”
the woman of Pablo said bitterly. Then turned to Robert Jordan. “Do they have
people such as this in other countries?” “There
are no other countries like Spain,” Robert Jordan said politely. “You
are right,” Fernando said. “There is no other country in the world like
Spain.” “Hast
thou ever seen any other country?” the woman asked him. “Nay,”
said Fernando. “Nor do I wish to.” “You
see?” the woman of Pablo said to Robert Jordan. “Fernandito,”
Maria said to him. “Tell us of the time thee went to Valencia” “I
did not like Valencia.” “Why?”
Maria asked and pressed Robert Jordan’s arm again. “Why did thee not like it?”
“The
people had no manners and I could not understand them. All they did was shout
ché
at one another.” “Could
they understand thee?” Maria asked. “They
pretended not to,” Fernando said. “And
what did thee there?” “I
left without even seeing the sea,” Fernando said. “I did not like the
people.” “Oh,
get out of here, you old maid,” the woman of Pablo said. “Get out of here
before you
make me sick. In Valencia I had the best time of my life. Vamos! Valencia.
Don’t talk to
me of Valencia.” “What
did thee there?” Maria asked. The woman of Pablo sat down at the table with a
bowl
of coffee, a piece of bread and a bowl of the stew. “Qué?
what did we there. I was there when Finito had a contract for three fights at
the Feria.
Never have I seen so many people. Never have I seen cafés so crowded. For hours
it would be impossible to get a seat and it was impossible to board the tram
cars. In
Valencia there was movement all day and all night.” “But
what did you do?” Maria asked. “All
things,” the woman said. “We went to the beach and lay in the water and boats
with
sails were hauled up out of the sea by oxen. The oxen driven to the water
until they must
swim; then harnessed to the boats, and, when they found their feet,
staggering up the
sand. Ten yokes of oxen dragging a boat with sails out of the sea in the
morning with
the line of the small waves breaking on the beach. That is Valencia.” “But
what did thee besides watch oxen?” “We
ate in pavilions on the sand. Pastries made of cooked and shredded fish and
red and
green peppers and small nuts like grains of rice. Pastries delicate and flaky
and the fish
of a richness that was incredible. Prawns fresh from the sea sprinkled with
lime juice.
They were pink and sweet and there were four bites to a prawn. Of those we
ate many.
Then we ate paella with fresh sea food, clams in their shells, mussels,
crayfish, and
small eels. Then we ate even smaller eels alone cooked in oil and as tiny as
bean sprouts
and curled in all directions and so tender they disappeared in the mouth
without chewing.
All the time drinking a white wine, cold, light and good at thirty centimos
the bottle.
And for an end, melon. That is the home of the melon.” “The
melon of Castile is better,” Fernando said. “Qué
va,” said the woman of Pablo. “The melon of Castile is for self abuse. The
melon of
Valencia for eating. When I think of those melons long as one’s arm, green
like the sea
and crisp and juicy to cut and sweeter than the early morning in summer. Aye,
when I
think of those smallest eels, tiny, delicate and in mounds on the plate. Also
the beer in pitchers
all through the afternoon, the beer sweating in its coldness in pitchers the
size of
water jugs.” “And
what did thee when not eating nor drinking?” “We
made love in the room with the strip wood blinds hanging over the balcony and
a breeze
through the opening of the top of the door which turned on hinges. We made love
there, the room dark in the day time from the hanging blinds, and from the
streets there
was the scent of the flower market and the smell of burned powder from the firecrackers
of the traca that ran though the streets exploding each noon during the Feria.
It was a line of fireworks that ran through all the city, the firecrackers
linked together
and the explosions running along on poles and wires of the tramways, exploding
with great noise and a jumping from pole to pole with a sharpness and a cracking
of explosion you could not believe. “We
made love and then sent for another pitcher of beer with the drops of its
coldness on
the glass and when the girl brought it, I took it from the door and I placed
the coldness
of the pitcher against the back of Finito as he lay, now, asleep, not having wakened
when the beer was brought, and he said, ‘No, Pilar. No, woman, let me sleep.’
And
I said, ‘No, wake up and drink this to see how cold,’ and he drank without
opening his
eyes and went to sleep again and I lay with my back against a pillow at the
foot of the
bed and watched him sleep, brown and dark-haired and young and quiet in his sleep,
and drank the whole pitcher, listening now to the music of a band that was passing.
You,” she said to Pablo. “Do you know aught of such things?” “We
have done things together,” Pablo said. “Yes,”
the woman said. “Why not? And thou wert more man than Finito in your time. But
never did we go to Valencia. Never did we lie in bed together and hear a band
pass in
Valencia.” “It
was impossible,” Pablo told her. “We have had no opportunity to go to
Valencia. Thou
knowest that if thou wilt be reasonable. But, with Finito, neither did thee
blow up any
train.” “No,”
said the woman. “That is what is left to us. The train. Yes. Always the
train. No one
can speak against that. That remains of all the laziness, sloth and failure.
That remains
of the cowardice of this moment. There were many other things before too. I
do not
want to be unjust. But no one can speak against Valencia either. You hear
me?” “I
did not like it,” Fernando said quietly. “I did not like Valencia.” “Yet
they speak of the mule as stubborn,” the woman said. “Clean up, Maria, that
we may
go.” As
she said this they heard the first sound of the planes returning. 9 They stood in the mouth of the cave and
watched them. The bombers were high now in
fast, ugly arrow-heads beating the sky apart with the noise of their motors.
They are shaped
like sharks, Robert Jordan thought, the wide-finned, sharp-nosed sharks of
the Gulf
Stream. But these, wide-finned in silver, roaring, the light mist of their
propellers in the
sun, these do not move like sharks. They move like no thing there has ever
been. They
move like mechanized doom. You
ought to write, he told himself. Maybe you will again some time. He felt
Maria holding
to his arm. She was looking up and he said to her, “What do they look like to
you,
guapa?” “I don’t know,” she said. “Death, I think.” “They
look like planes to me,” the woman of Pablo said. “‘Where are the little
ones?” “They
may be crossing at another part,” Robert Jordan said. “Those bombers are too fast
to have to wait for them and have come back alone. We never follow them
across the
lines to fight. There aren’t enough planes to risk it.” Just
then three Heinkel fighters in V formation came low over the clearing coming toward
them, just over the tree tops, like clattering, wing-tilting, pinch-nosed
ugly toys, to enlarge
suddenly, fearfully to their actual size; pouring past in a whining roar.
They were so
low that from the cave mouth all of them could see the pilots, helmeted,
goggled, a scarf
blowing back from behind the patrol leader’s head. “Those
can see the horses,” Pablo said. “Those
can see thy cigarette butts,” the woman said. “Let fall the blanket.” No
more planes came over. The others must have crossed farther up the range and when
the droning was gone they went out of the cave into the open. The
sky was empty now and high and blue and clear. “It
seems as though they were a dream that you wake from,” Maria said to Robert Jordan.
There was not even the last almost unheard hum that comes like a finger
faintly touching
and leaving and touching again after the sound is gone almost past hearing. “They
are no dream and you go in and clean up,” Pilar said to her. “What about it?”
she
turned to Robert Jordan. “Should we ride or walk?” Pablo
looked at her and grunted. “As
you will,” Robert Jordan said. “Then
let us walk,” she said. “I would like it for the liver.” “Riding
is good for the liver.” “Yes,
but hard on the buttocks. We will walk and thou—” She turned to Pablo. “Go down
and count thy beasts and see they have not flown away with any.” “Do
you want a horse to ride?” Pablo asked Robert Jordan. “No.
Many thanks. What about the girl?” “Better
for her to walk,” Pilar said. “She’ll get stiff in too many places and serve
for nothing.”
Robert
Jordan felt his face reddening. “Did
you sleep well?” Pilar asked. Then said, “It is true that there is no
sickness. There could
have been. I know not why there wasn’t. There probably still is God after
all, although
we have abolished Him. Go on,” she said to Pablo. “This does not concern thee.
This is of people younger than thee. Made of other material. Get on.” Then to
Robert
Jordan, “Agustín is looking after thy things. We go when he comes.” It
was a clear, bright day and warm now in the sun. Robert Jordan looked at the
big, brown-faced
woman with her kind, widely set eyes and her square, heavy face, lined and
pleasantly ugly, the eyes merry, but the face sad until the lips moved. He
looked at her
and then at the man, heavy and stolid, moving off through the trees toward
the corral.
The woman, too, was looking after him. “Did
you make love?” the woman said. “What
did she say?” “She
would not tell me.” “I
neither.” “Then
you made love,” the woman said. “Be as careful with her as you can.” “What
if she has a baby?” “That
will do no harm,” the woman said. “That will do less harm.” “This
is no place for that.” “She
will not stay here. She will go with you.” “And
where will I go? I can’t take a woman where I go.” “Who
knows? You may take two where you go.” “That
is no way to talk.” “Listen,”
the woman said. “I am no coward, but I see things very clearly in the early morning
and I think there are many that we know that are alive now who will never see
another
Sunday.” “In
what day are we?” “Sunday.”
“Qué
va,” said Robert Jordan. “Another Sunday is very far. If we see Wednesday we are
all right. But I do not like to hear thee talk like this.” “Every
one needs to talk to some one,” the woman said. “Before we had religion and other
nonsense. Now for every one there should be some one to whom one can speak frankly,
for all the valor that one could have one becomes very alone.” “We
are not alone. We are all together.” “The
sight of those machines does things to one,” the woman said. “We are nothing against
such machines.” “Yet
we can beat them.” “Look,”
the woman said. “I confess a sadness to you, but do not think I lack
resolution. Nothing
has happened to my resolution.” “The
sadness will dissipate as the sun rises. It is like a mist.” “Clearly,”
the woman said. “If you want it that way. Perhaps it came from talking that foolishness
about Valencia. And that failure of a man who has gone to look at his horses.
I wounded him much with the story. Kill him, yes. Curse him, yes. But wound him,
no.” “How
came you to be with him?” “How
is one with any one? In the first days of the movement and before too, he was
something.
Something serious. But now he is finished. The plug has been drawn and the
wine has all run out of the skin.” “I
do not like him.” “Nor
does he like you, and with reason. Last night I slept with him.” She smiled
now and
shook her head. “ Vamos a ver,” she said. “I said to him, ‘Pablo, why did you
not kill the
foreigner?’ “‘He’s
a good boy, Pilar,’ he said. ‘He’s a good boy.’ “So
I said, ‘You understand now that I command?’ “‘Yes,
Pilar. Yes,’ he said. Later in the night I hear him awake and he is crying.
He is crying
in a short and ugly manner as a man cries when it is as though there is an
animal inside
that is shaking him. “‘What
passes with thee, Pablo?’ I said to him and I took hold of him and held him. “‘Nothing,
Pilar. Nothing.’ “‘Yes.
Something passes with thee.’ “‘The
people,’ he said. ‘The way they left me. The gente.’ “‘Yes,
but they are with me,’ I said, ‘and I am thy woman.’ “‘Pilar,’
he said, ‘remember the train.’ Then he said, ‘May God aid thee, Pilar.’ “‘What
are you talking of God for?’ I said to him. ‘What way is that to speak?’ “‘Yes,’
he said. ‘God and the Virgen.’ “‘Qué
va, God and the Virgen,’ I said to him. ‘Is that any way to talk?’ “‘I
am afraid to die, Pilar,’ he said. ‘Tengo miedo de morir. Dost thou
understand?’ “‘Then
get out of bed,’ I said to him. ‘There is not room in one bed for me and thee
and thy
fear all together.’ “Then
he was ashamed and was quiet and I went to sleep but, man, he’s a ruin.” Robert
Jordan said nothing. “All
my life I have had this sadness at intervals,” the woman said. “But it is not
like the sadness
of Pablo. It does not affect my resolution.” “I
believe that.” “It
may be it is like the times of a woman,” she said. “It may be it is nothing,”
she paused,
then went on. “I put great illusion in the Republic. I believe firmly in the
Republic and
I have faith. I believe in it with fervor as those who have religious faith
believe in the mysteries.”
“I
believe you.” “And
you have this same faith?” “In the Republic?” “Yes.”
“Yes,”
he said, hoping it was true. “I
am happy,” the woman said. “And you have no fear?” “Not
to die,” he said truly. “But
other fears?” “Only
of not doing my duty as I should.” “Not
of capture, as the other had?” “No,”
he said truly. “Fearing that, one would be so preoccupied as to be useless.” “You
are a very cold boy.” “No,”
he said. “I do not think so.” “No.
In the head you are very cold.” “It
is that I am very preoccupied with my work.” “But
you do not like the things of life?” “Yes.
Very much. But not to interfere with my work.” “You
like to drink, I know. I have seen.” “Yes.
Very much. But not to interfere with my work.” “And
women?” “I
like them very much, but I have not given them much importance.” “You
do not care for them?” “Yes.
But I have not found one that moved me as they say they should move you.” “I
think you lie.” “Maybe
a little.” “But
you care for Maria.” “Yes.
Suddenly and very much.” “I,
too. I care for her very much. Yes. Much.” “I,
too,” said Robert Jordan, and could feel his voice thickening. “I, too. Yes.”
It gave him
pleasure to say it and he said it quite formally in Spanish. “I care for her
very much.” “I
will leave you alone with her after we have seen El Sordo.” Robert
Jordan said nothing. Then he said, “That is not necessary.” “Yes,
man. It is necessary. There is not much time.” “Did
you see that in the hand?” he asked. “No.
Do not remember that nonsense of the hand.” She
had put that away with all the other things that might do ill to the
Republic. Robert
Jordan said nothing. He was looking at Maria putting away the dishes inside the
cave. She wiped her hands and turned and smiled at him. She could not hear
what Pilar
was saying, but as she smiled at Robert Jordan she blushed dark under the
tawny skin
and then smiled at him again. “There
is the day also,” the woman said. “You have the night, but there is the day,
too. Clearly,
there is no such luxury as in Valencia in my time. But you could pick a few
wild strawberries
or something.” She laughed. Robert
Jordan put his arm on her big shoulder. “I care for thee, too,” he said. “I
care for
thee very much.” “Thou
art a regular Don Juan Tenorio,” the woman said, embarrassed now with affection.
“There is a commencement of caring for every one. Here comes Agustín.” Robert
Jordan went into the cave and up to where Maria was standing. She watched him
come toward her, her eyes bright, the blush again on her cheeks and throat. “Hello,
little rabbit,” he said and kissed her on the mouth. She held him tight to
her and looked
in his face and said, “Hello. Oh, hello. Hello.” Fernando,
still sitting at the table smoking a cigarette, stood up, shook his head and walked
out, picking up his carbine from where it leaned against the wall. “It
is very unformal,” he said to Pilar. “And I do not like it. You should take
care of the girl.”
“I
am,” said Pilar. “That comrade is her novio.” “Oh,”
said Fernando. “In that case, since they are engaged, I encounter it to be perfectly
normal.” “I
am pleased,” the woman said. “Equally,”
Fernando agreed gravely. “Salud, Pilar.” “Where
are you going?” “To
the upper post to relieve Primitivo.” “Where
the hell are you going?” Agustín asked the grave little man as he came up. “To
my duty,” Fernando said with dignity. “Thy
duty,” said Agustín mockingly. “I besmirch the milk of thy duty.” Then
turning to the
woman, “Where the un-nameable is this vileness that I am to guard?” “In
the cave,” Pilar said. “In two sacks. And I am tired of thy obscenity.” “I
obscenity in the milk of thy tiredness,” Agustín said. “Then
go and befoul thyself,” Pilar said to him without heat. “Thy
mother,” Agustín replied. “Thou
never had one,” Pilar told him, the insults having reached the ultimate
formalism in
Spanish in which the acts are never stated but only implied. “What
are they doing in there?” Agustín now asked confidentially. “Nothing,”
Pilar told him. “Nada. We are, after all, in the spring, animal.” “Animal,”
said Agustín, relishing the word. “Animal. And thou. Daughter of the great whore
of whores. I befoul myself in the milk of the springtime.” Pilar
slapped him on the shoulder. “You,”
she said, and laughed that booming laugh. “You lack variety in your cursing. But
you have force. Did you see the planes?” “I
un-name in the milk of their motors,” Agustín said, nodding his head and
biting his lower
lip. “That’s
something,” Pilar said. “That is really something. But really difficult of execution.”
“At
that altitude, yes,” Agustín grinned. “Desde luego. But it is better to
joke.” “Yes,”
the woman of Pablo said. “It is much better to joke, and you are a good man and
you joke with force.” “Listen,
Pilar,” Agustín said seriously. “Something is preparing. It is not true?” “How
does it seem to you?” “Of
a foulness that cannot be worse. Those were many planes, woman. Many planes.”
“And
thou hast caught fear from them like all the others?” “Qué
va,” said Agustín. “What do you think they are preparing?” “Look,”
Pilar said. “From this boy coming for the bridges obviously the Republic is preparing
an offensive. From these planes obviously the Fascists are preparing to meet it.
But why show the planes?” “In
this war are many foolish things,” Agustín said. “In this war there is an
idiocy without
bounds.” “Clearly,”
said Pilar. “Otherwise we could not be here.” “Yes,”
said Agustín. “We swim within the idiocy for a year now. But Pablo is a man
of much
understanding. Pablo is very wily.” “Why
do you say this?” “I
say it.” “But
you must understand,” Pilar explained. “It is now too late to be saved by
wiliness and
he has lost the other.” “I
understand,” said Agustín. “I know we must go. And since we must win to
survive ultimately,
it is necessary that the bridges must be blown. But Pablo, for the coward
that he
now is, is very smart.” “I,
too, am smart.” “No,
Pilar,” Agustín said. “You are not smart. You are brave. You are loyal. You
have decision.
You have intuition. Much decision and much heart. But you are not smart.” “You
believe that?” the woman asked thoughtfully. “Yes,
Pilar.” “The
boy is smart,” the woman said. “Smart and cold. Very cold in the head.” “Yes,” Agustín said. “He must know his
business or they would not have him doing this.
But I do not know that he is smart. Pablo I know is smart.” “But
rendered useless by his fear and his disinclination to action.” “But
still smart.” “And
what do you say?” “Nothing.
I try to consider it intelligently. In this moment we need to act with intelligence.
After the bridge we must leave at once. All must be prepared. We must know
for where we are leaving and how.” “Naturally.”
“For
this—Pablo. It must be done smartly.” “I
have no confidence in Pablo.” “In
this, yes.” “No.
You do not know how far he is ruined.” “Pero
es muy vivo. He is very smart. And if we do not do this smartly we are obscenitied.”
“I
will think about it,” Pilar said. “I have the day to think about it.” “For
the bridges; the boy,” Agustín said. “This he must know. Look at the fine
manner in
which the other organized the train.” “Yes,”
Pilar said. “It was really he who planned all.” “You
for energy and resolution,” Agustín said. “But Pablo for the moving. Pablo
for the retreat.
Force him now to study it.” “You
are a man of intelligence.” “Intelligent,
yes,” Agustín said. “But sin picardia. Pablo for that.” “With
his fear and all?” “With
his fear and all.” “And
what do you think of the bridges?” “It
is necessary. That I know. Two things we must do. We must leave here and we must
win. The bridges are necessary if we are to Win.” “If
Pablo is so smart, why does he not see that?” “He
wants things as they are for his own weakness. He wants tO stay in the eddy
of his
own weakness. But the river is rising. Forced to a change, he will be smart
in the change.
Es muy vivo.” “It
is good that the boy did not kill him.” “Qué
va. The gypsy wanted me to kill him last night. The gypsy is an animal.” “You’re
an animal, too,” she said. “But intelligent.” “We
are both intelligent,” Agustín said. “But the talent is Pablo!” “But
difficult to put up with. You do not know how ruined.” “Yes.
But a talent. Look, Pilar. To make war all you need is intelligence. But to
win you need
talent and material.” “I
will think it over,” she said. “We must start now. We are late.” Then,
raising her voice,
“English!” she called. “Inglés! Come on! Let us go.” 10 “Let us rest,” Pilar said to Robert Jordan.
“Sit down here, Maria, and let us rest.” “We
should continue,” Robert Jordan said. “Rest when we get there. I must see
this man.”
“You
will see him,” the woman told him. “There is no hurry. Sit down here, Maria.”
“Come
on,” Robert Jordan said. “Rest at the top.” “I
rest now,” the woman said, and sat down by the stream. The girl sat by her in
the heather,
the sun shining on her hair. Only Robert Jordan stood looking across the high
mountain
meadow with the trout brook running through it. There was heather growing where
he stood. There were gray boulders rising from the yellow bracken that
replaced the
heather in the lower part of the meadow and below was the dark line of the
pines. “How
far is it to El Sordo’s?” he asked. “Not far,” the woman said. “It is across
this open country, down into the next valley and above
the timber at the head of the stream. Sit thee down and forget thy
seriousness.” “I
want to see him and get it over with.” “I
want to bathe my feet,” the woman said and, taking off her rope-soled shoes
and pulling
off a heavy wool stocking, she put her right foot into the stream. “My God,
it’s cold.”
“We
should have taken horses,” Robert Jordan told her. “This
is good for me,” the woman said. “This is what I have been missing. What’s
the matter
with you?” “Nothing,
except that I am in a hurry.” “Then
calm yourself. There is much time. What a day it is and how I am contented
not to
be in pine trees. You cannot imagine how one can tire of pine trees. Aren’t
you tired of
the pines, guapa?” “I
like them,” the girl said. “What
can you like about them?” “I
like the odor and the feel of the needles under foot. I like the wind in the
high trees and
the creaking they make against each other.” “You
like anything,” Pilar said. “You are a gift to any man if you could cook a
little better.
But the pine tree makes a forest of boredom. Thou hast never known a forest
of beech,
nor of oak, nor of chestnut. Those are forests. In such forests each tree
differs and
there is character and beauty. A forest of pine trees is boredom. What do you
say, Inglés?”
“I
like the pines, too.” “Pero,
venga,” Pilar said. “Two of you. So do I like the pines, but we have been too
long
in these pines. Also I am tired of the mountains. In mountains there are only
two directions.
Down and up and down leads only to the road and the towns of the Fascists.” “Do
you ever go to Segovia?” “Qué
va. With this face? This is a face that is known. How would you like to be
ugly, beautiful
one?” she said to Maria. “Thou
art not ugly.” “Vamos,
I’m not ugly. I was born ugly. All my life I have been ugly. You, Inglés, who
know
nothing about women. Do you know how an ugly woman feels? Do you know what it
is to be ugly all your life and inside to feel that you are beautiful? It is
very rare,” she put
the other foot in the stream, then removed it. “God, it’s cold. Look at the
water wagtail,”
she said and pointed to the gray ball of a bird that was bobbing up and down on
a stone up the stream. “Those are no good for anything. Neither to sing nor
to eat. Only
to jerk their tails up and down. Give me a cigarette, Inglés,” she said and
taking it, lit
it from a flint and steel lighter in the pocket of her skirt. She puffed on
the cigarette and
looked at Maria and Robert Jordan. “Life
is very curious,” she said, and blew smoke from her nostrils. “I would have
made a
good man, but I am all woman and all ugly. Yet many men have loved me and I
have loved
many men. It is curious. Listen, Inglés, this is interesting. Look at me, as
ugly as I am.
Look closely, Inglés.” “Thou
art not ugly.” “Qué
no? Don’t lie to me. Or,” she laughed the deep laugh. “Has it begun to work
with thee?
No. That is a joke. No. Look at the ugliness. Yet one has a feeling within
one that blinds
a man while he loves you. You, with that feeling, blind him, and blind
yourself. Then
one day, for no reason, he sees you ugly as you really are and he is not
blind any more
and then you see yourself as ugly as he sees you and you lose your man and
your feeling.
Do you understand, guapa?” She patted the girl on the shoulder. “No,”
said Maria. “Because thou art not ugly.” “Try
to use thy head and not thy heart, and listen,” Pilar said. “I am telling you
things of much
interest. Does it not interest you, Inglés?” “Yes.
But we should go.” “Qué
va, go. I am very well here. Then,” she went on, addressing herself to Robert
Jordan
now as though she were speaking to a classroom; almost as though she were lecturing.
“After a while, when you are as ugly as I am, as ugly as women can be, then, as
I say, after a while the feeling, the idiotic feeling that you are beautiful,
grows slowly in
one again. It grows like a cabbage. And then, when the feeling is grown,
another man sees
you and thinks you are beautiful and it is all to do over. Now I think I am
past it, but it
still might come. You are lucky, guapa, that you are not ugly.” “But
I am ugly,” Maria insisted. “Ask
him,” said Pilar. “And don’t put thy feet in the stream because it will
freeze them.” “If
Roberto says we should go, I think we should go,” Maria said. “Listen
to you,” Pilar said. “I have as much at stake in this as thy Roberto and I
say that
we are well off resting here by the stream and that there is much time.
Furthermore, I
like to talk. It is the only civilized thing we have. How otherwise can we
divert ourselves?
Does what I say not hold interest for you, Inglés?” “You
speak very well. But there are other things that interest me more than talk
of beauty
or lack of beauty.” “Then
let us talk of what interests thee.” “Where
were you at the start of the movement?” “In
my town.” “Avila?”
“Qué
va, Avila.” “Pablo
said he was from Avila.” “He
lies. He wanted to take a big city for his town. It was this town,” and she
named a town.
“And
what happened?” “Much,”
the woman said. “Much. And all of it ugly. Even that which was glorious.” “Tell
me about it,” Robert Jordan said. “It
is brutal,” the woman said. “I do not like to tell it before the girl.” “Tell
it,” said Robert Jordan. “And if it is not for her, that she should not
listen.” “I
can hear it,” Maria said. She put her hand on Robert Jordan’s. “There is
nothing that I
cannot hear.” “It
isn’t whether you can hear it,” Pilar said. “It is whether I should tell it
to thee and make
thee bad dreams.” “I
will not get bad dreams from a story,” Maria told her. “You think after all
that has happened
with us I should get bad dreams from a story?” “Maybe
it will give the Inglés bad dreams.” “Try
it and see.” “No,
Inglés, I am not joking. Didst thou see the start of the movement in any
small town?”
“No,”
Robert Jordan said. “Then
thou hast seen nothing. Thou hast seen the ruin that now is Pablo, but you should
have seen Pablo on that day.” “Tell
it.” “Nay.
I do not want to.” “Tell
it.” “All
right, then. I will tell it truly as it was. But thee, guapa, if it reaches a
point that it molests
thee, tell me.” “I
will not listen to it if it molests me,” Maria told her. “It cannot be worse
than many things.”
“I
believe it can,” the woman said. “Give me another cigarette, Inglés, and
vamonos.” The
girl leaned back against the heather on the bank of the stream and Robert
Jordan stretched
himself out, his shoulders against the ground and his head against a clump of
the
heather. He reached out and found Maria’s hand and held it in his, rubbing
their two hands
against the heather until she opened her hand and laid it flat on top of his
as they listened.
“It
was early in the morning when the civiles surrendered at the barracks,” Pilar
began. “You had assaulted the barracks?” Robert
Jordan asked. “Pablo
had surrounded it in the dark, cut the telephone wires, placed dynamite under
one
wall and called on the guardia civil to surrender. They would not. And at
daylight he blew
the wall open. There was fighting. Two civiles were killed. Four were wounded
and four
surrendered. “We
all lay on roofs and on the ground and at the edge of walls and of buildings
in the early
morning light and the dust cloud of the explosion had not yet settled, for it
rose high
in the air and there was no wind to carry it, and all of us were firing into
the broken side
of the building, loading and firing into the smoke, and from within there was
still the flashing
of rifles and then there was a shout from in the smoke not to fire more, and
out came
the four civiles with their hands up. A big part of the roof had fallen in
and the wall was
gone and they came out to surrender. “‘Are
there more inside?’ Pablo shouted. “‘There
are wounded.’ “‘Guard
these,’ Pablo said to four who had come up from where we were firing. ‘Stand there.
Against the wall,’ he told the civiles. The four civiles stood against the
wall, dirty, dusty,
smoke-grimed, with the four who were guarding them pointing their guns at
them and
Pablo and the others went in to finish the wounded. “After
they had done this and there was no longer any noise of the wounded, neither groaning,
nor crying out, nor the noise of shooting in the barracks, Pablo and the
others came
out and Pablo had his shotgun over his back and was carrying in his hand a Mauser
pistol. “‘Look,
Pilar,’ he said. ‘This was in the hand of the officer who killed himself.
Never have
I fired a pistol. You,’ he said to one of the guards, ‘show me how it works.
No. Don’t
show me. Tell me.’ “The
four civiles had stood against the wall, sweating and saying nothing while
the shooting
had gone on inside the barracks. They were all tall men with the faces of guardias
civiles, which is the same model of face as mine is. Except that their faces were
covered with the small stubble of this their last morning of not yet being
shaved and
they stood there against the wall and said nothing. “‘You,’
said Pablo to the one who stood nearest him. ‘Tell me how it works.’ “‘Pull
the small lever down,’ the man said in a very dry voice. ‘Pull the receiver
back and
let it snap forward.’ “‘What
is the receiver?’ asked Pablo, and he looked at the four civiles. ‘What is
the receiver?’
“‘The
block on top of the action.’ “Pablo
pulled it back, but it stuck. ‘What now?’ he said. ‘It is jammed. You have
lied to me.’
“‘Pull
it farther back and let it snap lightly forward,’ the civil said, and I have
never heard
such a tone of voice. It was grayer than a morning without sunrise. “Pablo
pulled and let go as the man had told him and the block snapped forward into place
and the pistol was cocked with the hammer back. It is an ugly pistol, small
in the round
handle, large and flat in the barrel, and unwieldy. All this time the civiles
had been watching
him and they had said nothing. “‘What
are you going to do with us?’ one asked him. “‘Shoot
thee,’ Pablo said. “‘When?’
the man asked in the same gray voice. “‘Now,’
said Pablo. “‘Where?’
asked the man. “‘Here,’
said Pablo. ‘Here. Now. Here and now. Have you anything to say?’ “‘Nada,’
said the civil. ‘Nothing. But it is an ugly thing.’ “‘And
you are an ugly thing,’ Pablo said. ‘You murderer of peasants. You who would shoot
your own mother.’ “‘I
have never killed any one,’ the civil said. ‘And do not speak of my mother.’ “‘Show
us how to die. You, who have always done the killing.’ “‘There is no necessity to insult us,’
another civil said. ‘And we know how to die.’ “‘Kneel
down against the wall with your heads against the wall,’ Pablo told them. The
civiles
looked at one another. “‘Kneel,
I say,’ Pablo said. ‘Get down and kneel.’ “‘How
does it seem to you, Paco?’ one civil said to the tallest, who had spoken
with Pablo
about the pistol. He wore a corporal’s stripes on his sleeves and was
sweating very
much although the early morning was still cool. “‘It
is as well to kneel,’ he answered. ‘It is of no importance.’ “‘It
is closer to the earth,’ the first one who had spoken said, trying to make a
joke, but they
were all too grave for a joke and no one smiled. “‘Then
let us kneel,’ the first civil said, and the four knelt, looking very awkward
with their
heads against the wall and their hands by their sides, and Pablo passed
behind them
and shot each in turn in the back of the head with the pistol, going from one
to another
and putting the barrel of the pistol against the back of their heads, each
man slipping
down as he fired. I can hear the pistol still, sharp and yet muffled, and see
the barrel
jerk and the head of the man drop forward. One held his head still when the
pistol touched
it. One pushed his head forward and pressed his forehead against the stone. One
shivered in his whole body and his head was shaking. Only one put his hands
in front
of his eyes, and he was the last one, and the four bodies were slumped
against the wall
when Pablo turned away from them and came toward us with the pistol still in
his hand.
“‘Hold
this for me, Pilar,’ he said. ‘I do not know how to put down the hammer,’ and
he handed
me the pistol and stood there looking at the four guards as they lay against
the wall
of the barracks. All those who were with us stood there too, looking at them,
and no one
said anything. “We
had won the town and it was still early in the morning and no one had eaten
nor had
any one drunk coffee and we looked at each other and we were all powdered
with dust
from the blowing up of the barracks, as powdered as men are at a threshing,
and I stood
holding the pistol and it was heavy in my hand and I felt weak in the stomach
when
I looked at the guards dead there against the wall; they all as gray and as
dusty as we
were, but each one was now moistening with his blood the dry dirt by the wall
where they
lay. And as we stood there the sun rose over the far hills and shone now on
the road
where we stood and on the white wall of the barracks and the dust in the air
was golden
in that first sun and the peasant who was beside me looked at the wall of the
barracks
and what lay there and then looked at us and then at the sun and said, ‘Vaya,
a
day that commences.’ “‘Now
let us go and get coffee,’ I said. “‘Good,
Pilar, good,’ he said. And we went up into the town to the Plaza, and those were
the last people who were shot in the village.” “What
happened to the others?” Robert Jordan asked. “Were there no other fascists
in the
village?” “Qué
va, were there no other fascists? There were more than twenty. But none was shot.”
“What
was done?” “Pablo
had them beaten to death with flails and thrown from the top of the cliff
into the river.”
“All
twenty?” “I
will tell you. It is not so simple. And in my life never do I wish to see
such a scene as the
flailing to death in the plaza on the top of the cliff above the river. “The
town is built on the high bank above the river and there is a square there
with a fountain
and there are benches and there are big trees that give a shade for the benches.
The balconies of the houses look out on the plaza. Six streets enter on the plaza
and there is an arcade from the houses that goes around the plaza so that one
can
walk in the shade of the arcade when the sun is hot. On three sides of the
plaza is the
arcade and on the fourth side is the walk shaded by the trees beside the edge
of the cliff
with, far below, the river. It is three hundred feet down to the river. “Pablo
organized it all as he did the attack on the barracks. First he had the
entrances to
the streets blocked off with carts as though to organize the plaze for a
capea. For an amateur
bullfight. The fascists were all held in the Ayuntamiento, the city hall,
which was the
largest building on one side of the plaza. It was there the clock was set in
the wall and
it was in the buildings under the arcade that the club of the fascists was.
And under the
arcade on the sidewalk in front of their club was where they had their chairs
and tables
for their club. It was there, before the movement, that they were accustomed
to take
the apéritifs. The chairs and the tables were of wicker. It looked like a
café but was more
elegant.” “But
was there no fighting to take them?” “Pablo
had them seized in the night before he assaulted the barracks. But he had already
surrounded the barracks. They were all seized in their homes at the same hour
the
attack started. That was intelligent. Pablo is an organizer. Otherwise he
would have had
people attacking him at his flanks and at his rear while he was assaulting
the barracks
of the guardia civil. “Pablo
is very intelligent but very brutal. He had this of the village well planned
and well
ordered. Listen. After the assault was successful, and the last four guards
had surrendered,
and he had shot them against the wall, and we had drunk coffee at the café
that always opened earliest in the morning by the corner from which the early
bus left,
he proceeded to the organization of the plaza. Carts were piled exactly as
for a capea
except that the side toward the river was not enclosed. That was left open.
Then Pablo
ordered the priest to confess the fascists and give them the necessary sacraments.”
“Where
was this done?” “In
the Ayuntamiento, as I said. There was a great crowd outside and while this
was going
on inside with the priest, there was some levity outside and shouting of obscenities,
but most of the people were very serious and respectful. Those who made jokes
were those who were already drunk from the celebration of the taking of the barracks
and there were useless characters who would have been drunk at any time. “While
the priest was engaged in these duties, Pablo organized those in the plaza
into two
lines. “He
placed them in two lines as you would place men for a rope pulling contest,
or as they
stand in a city to watch the ending of a bicycle road race with just room for
the cyclists
to pass between, or as men stood to allow the passage of a holy image in a procession.
Two meters was left between the lines and they extended from the door of the
Ayuntamiento clear across the plaza to the edge of the cliff. So that, from
the doorway
of the Ayuntamiento, looking across the plaza, one coming out would see two solid
lines of people waiting. “They
were armed with flails such as are used to beat out the grain and they were a
good
flail’s length apart. All did not have flails, as enough flails could not be
obtained. But
most had flails obtained from the store of Don Guillermo Martin, who was a
fascist and
sold all sorts of agricultural implements. And those who did not have flails
had heavy
herdsman’s clubs, or ox-goads, and some had wooden pitchforks; those with wooden
tines that are used to fork the chaff and straw into the air after the
flailing. Some had
sickles and reaping hooks but these Pablo placed at the far end where the
lines reached
the edge of the cliff. “These
lines were quiet and it was a clear day, as today is clear, and there were clouds
high in the sky, as there are now, and the plaza was not yet dusty for there
had been
a heavy dew in the night, and the trees cast a shade over the men in the
lines and you
could hear the water running from the brass pipe in the mouth of the lion and
falling into
the bowl of the fountain where the women bring the water jars to fill them. “Only
near the Ayuntamiento, where the priest was complying with his duties with
the fascists,
was there any ribaldry, and that came from those worthless ones who, as I said,
were already drunk and were crowded around the windows shouting obscenities and
jokes in bad taste in through the iron bars of the windows. Most of’ the men
in the lines
were waiting quietly and I heard one say to another, ‘Will there be women?’ “And
another said, ‘I hope to Christ, no.’ “Then
one said, ‘Here is the woman of Pablo. Listen, Pilar. Will there be women?’ “I
looked at him and he was a peasant dressed in his Sunday jacket and sweating heavily
and I said, ‘No, Joaquín. There are no women. We are not killing the women. Why
should we kill their women?’ “And
he said, ‘Thanks be to Christ, there are no women and when does it start?’ “And
I said, ‘As soon as the priest finishes.’ “‘And
the priest?’ “‘I
don’t know,’ I told him and I saw his face working and the sweat coming down
on his
forehead. ‘I have never killed a man,’ he said. “‘Then
you will learn,’ the peasant next to him said. ‘But I do not think one blow
with this
will kill a man,’ and he held his flail in both hands and looked at it with
doubt. “‘That
is the beauty of it,’ another peasant said. ‘There must be many blows.’ “‘They
have taken Valladolid. They have Avila,’ some one said. ‘I heard that before
we came
into town.’ “‘They
will never take this town. This town is ours. We have struck ahead of them,’
I said.
‘Pablo is not one to wait for them to strike.’ “‘Pablo
is able,’ another said. ‘But in this finishing off of the civiles he was
egoistic. Don’t
you think so, Pilar?’ “‘Yes,’
I said. ‘But now all are participating in this.’ “‘Yes,’
he said. ‘It is well organized. But why do we not hear more news of the movement?’
“‘Pablo
cut the telephone wires before the assault on the barracks. They are not yet repaired.’
“‘Ah,’
he said. ‘It is for this we hear nothing. I had my news from the roadmender’s
station
early this morning.’ “‘Why
is this done thus, Pilar?’ he said to me. “‘To
save bullets,’ I said. ‘And that each man should have his share in the responsibility.’
“‘That
it should start then. That it should start.’ And I looked at him and saw that
he was
crying. “‘Why
are you crying, Joaquín?’ I asked him. ‘This is not to cry about’ “‘I
cannot help it, Pilar,’ he said. ‘I have never killed any one.’ “If
you have not seen the day of revolution in a small town where all know all in
the town
and always have known all, you have seen nothing. And on this day most of the
men
in the double line across the plaza wore the clothes in which they worked in
the fields,
having come into town hurriedly, but some, not knowing how one should dress
for the
first day of a movement, wore their clothes for Sundays or holidays, and
these, seeing
that the others, including those who had attacked the barracks, wore their
oldest clothes,
were ashamed of being wrongly dressed. But they did not like to take off
their jackets
for fear of losing them, or that they might be stolen by the worthless ones,
and so
they stood, sweating in the sun and waiting for it to commence. “Then
the wind rose and the dust was now dry in the plaza for the men walking and standing
and shuffling had loosened it and it commenced to blow and a man in a dark blue
Sunday jacket shouted ‘Agua! Agua!’ and the caretaker of the plaza, whose
duty it was
to sprinkle the plaza each morning with a hose, came and turned the hose on
and commenced
to lay the dust at the edge of the plaza, and then toward the center. Then the
two lines fell back and let him lay the dust over the center of the plaza;
the hose sweeping
in wide arcs and the water glistening in the sun and the men leaning on their
flails
or the clubs or the white wood pitchforks and watching the sweep of the
stream of water.
And then, when the plaza was nicely moistened and the dust settled, the lines
formed
up again and a peasant shouted, ‘When do we get the first fascist? When does the
first one come out of the box?’ “‘Soon,’ Pablo shouted from the door of the
Ayuntamiento. ‘Soon the first one comes out.’
His voice was hoarse from shouting in the assault and from the smoke of the barracks.
“‘What’s
the delay?’ some one asked. “‘They’re
still occupied with their sins,’ Pablo shouted. “‘Clearly,
there are twenty of them,’ a man said. “‘More,’
said another. “‘Among
twenty there are many sins to recount.’ “‘Yes,
but I think it’s a trick to gain time. Surely facing such an emergency one
could not
remember one’s sins except for the biggest.’ “‘Then
have patience. For with more than twenty of them there are enough of the biggest
sins to take some time.’ “‘I
have patience,’ said the other. ‘But it is better to get it over with. Both
for them and for
us. It is July and there is much work. We have harvested but we have not
threshed. We
are not yet in the time of fairs and festivals.’ “‘But
this will be a fair and festival today,’ another said. ‘The Fair of Liberty
and from this
day, when these are extinguished, the town and the land are ours.’ “‘We
thresh fascists today,’ said one, ‘and out of the chaff comes the freedom of
this pueblo.’
“‘We
must administer it well to deserve it,’ said another. ‘Pilar,’ he said to me,
‘when do
we have a meeting for organization?’ “‘Immediately
after this is completed,’ I told him. ‘In the same building of the Ayuntamiento.’
“I
was wearing one of the three-cornered patent leather hats of the guardia
civil as a joke
and I had put the hammer down on the pistol, holding it with my thumb to
lower it as I
pulled on the trigger as seemed natural, and the pistol was held in a rope I
had around my
waist, the long barrel stuck under the rope. And when I put it on the joke
seemed very
good to me, although afterwards I wished I had taken the holster of the
pistol instead
of the hat. But one of the men in the line said to me, ‘Pilar, daughter. It
seems to me
bad taste for thee to wear that hat. Now we have finished with such things as
the guardia
civil.’ “‘Then,’
I said, ‘I will take it off.’ And I did. “‘Give
it to me,’ he said. ‘It should be destroyed.’ “And
as we were at the far end of the line where the walk runs along the cliff by
the river,
he took the hat in his hand and sailed it off over the cliff with the motion
a herdsman
makes throwing a stone underhand at the bulls to herd them. The hat sailed far
out into space and we could see it smaller and smaller, the patent leather
shining in the
clear air, sailing down to the river. I looked back over the square and at
all the windows
and all the balconies there were people crowded and there was the double line
of
men across the square to the doorway of the Ayuntamiento and the crowd
swarmed Outside
against the windows of that building and there was the noise of many people talking,
and then I heard a shout and some one said ‘Here comes the first one,’ and it
was
Don Benito Garcia, the Mayor, and he came out bareheaded walking slowly from the
door and down the porch and nothing happened; and he walked between the line
of men
with the flails and nothing happened. He passed two men, four men, eight men,
ten men
and nothing happened and he was walking between that line of men, his head
up, his
fat face gray, his eyes looking ahead and then flickering from side to side
and walking
steadily. And nothing happened. “From
a balcony some one cried out, ‘Qué pasa, cobardes? What is the matter, cowards?’
and still Don Benito walked along between the men and nothing happened. Then
I saw a man three men down from where I was standing and his face was working
and
he was biting his lips and his hands were white on his flail. I saw him
looking toward Don
Benito, watching him come on. And still nothing happened. Then, just before
Don Benito
came abreast of this man, the man raised his flail high so that it struck the
man beside
him and smashed a blow at Don Benito that hit him on the side of the head and
Don
Benito looked at him and the man struck again and shouted, ‘That for you,
Cabron,’ and
the blow hit Don Benito in the face and he raised his hands to his face and
they beat
him until he fell and the man who had struck him first called to others to
help him and
he pulled on the collar of Don Benito’s shirt and others took hold of his
arms and with
his face in the dust of the plaza, they dragged him over the walk to the edge
of the cliff
and threw him over and into the river. And the man who hit him first was
kneeling by the
edge of the cliff looking over after him and saying, ‘The Cabron! The Cabron!
Oh, the
Cabron!’ He was a tenant of Don Benito and they had never gotten along
together. There
had been a dispute about a piece of land by the river that Don Benito had
taken from
this man and let to another and this man had long hated him. This man did not
join the
line again but sat by the cliff looking down where Don Benito had fallen. “After
Don Benito no one would come out. There was no noise now in the plaza as all were
waiting to see who it was that would come out. Then a drunkard shouted in a
great voice,
‘Qué salga el toro! Let the bull out!’ “Then
some one from by the windows of the Ayuntamiento yelled, ‘They won’t move! They
are all praying!’ “Another
drunkard shouted, ‘Pull them out. Come on, pull them out. The time for praying
is finished.’ “But
none came out and then I saw a man coming out of the door. “It
was Don Federico Gonzalez, who owned the mill and feed store and was a
fascist of
the first order. He was tall and thin and his hair was brushed over the top
of his head from
one side to the other to cover a baldness and he wore a nightshirt that was
tucked into
his trousers. He was barefooted as when he had been taken from his home and
he walked
ahead of Pablo holding his hands above his head, and Pablo walked behind him with
the barrels of his shotgun pressing against the back of Don Federico Gonzalez
until Don
Federico entered the double line. But when Pablo left him and returned to the
door of
the Ayuntamiento, Don Federico could not walk forward, and stood there, his
eyes turned
up to heaven and his hands reaching up as though they would grasp the sky. “‘He
has no legs to walk,’ some one said. “‘What’s
the matter, Don Federico? Can’t you walk?’ some one shouted to him. But Don
Federico stood there with his hands up and only his lips were moving. “‘Get
on,’ Pablo shouted to him from the steps. ‘Walk.’ “Don
Federico stood there and could not move. One of the drunkards poked him in
the backside
with a flail handle and Don Federico gave a quick jump as a balky horse
might, but
still stood in the same place, his hands up, and his eyes up toward the sky. “Then
the peasant who stood beside me said, ‘This is shameful. I have nothing against
him but such a spectacle must terminate.’ So he walked down the line and pushed
through to where Don Federico was standing and said, ‘With your permission,’ and
hit him a great blow alongside of the head with a club. “Then
Don Federico dropped his hands and put them over the top of his head where the
bald place was and with his head bent and covered by his hands, the thin long
hairs that
covered the bald place escaping through his fingers, he ran fast through the
double line
With flails falling on his back and shoulders until he fell and those at the
end of the line
picked him up and swung him over the cliff. Never did he open his mouth from
the moment
he came out pushed by the shotgun of Pablo. His only difficulty was to move forward.
It was as though he had no command of his legs. “After
Don Federico, I saw there was a concentration of the hardest men at the end
of the
lines by the edge of the cliff and I left there and I went to the Arcade of
the Ayuntamiento
and pushed aside two drunkards and looked in the window. In the big room
of the Ayuntamiento they were all kneeling in a half circle praying and the
priest was
kneeling and praying with them. Pablo and one named Cuatro Dedos, Four Fingers,
a cobbler, who was much with Pablo then, and two others were standing with shotguns
and Pablo said to the priest, ‘Who goes now?’ and the priest went on praying and
did not answer him. “‘Listen,
you,’ Pablo said to the priest in his hoarse voice, ‘who goes now? Who is ready
now?’ “The
priest would not speak to Pablo and acted as though he were not there and I could
see Pablo was becoming very angry. “‘Let
us all go together,’ Don Ricardo Montalvo, who was a land owner, said to
Pablo, raising
his head and stopping praying to speak. “‘Qué
va,’ said Pablo. ‘One at a time as you are ready.’ “‘Then
I go now,’ Don Ricardo said. ‘I’ll never be any more ready.’ The priest
blessed him
as he spoke and blessed him again as he stood up, without interrupting his
praying, and
held up a crucifix for Don Ricardo to kiss and Don Ricardo kissed it and then
turned and
said to Pablo, ‘Nor ever again as ready. You Cabron of the bad milk. Let us
go.’ “Don
Ricardo was a short man with gray hair and a thick neck and he had a shirt on
with
no collar. He was bow-legged from much horseback riding. ‘Good-by,’ he said
to all those
who were kneeling. ‘Don’t be sad. To die is nothing. The only bad thing is to
die at the
hands of this canalla. Don’t touch me,’ he said to Pablo. ‘Don’t touch me
with your shotgun.’
“He
walked out of the front of the Ayuntamiento with his gray hair and his small
gray eyes
and his thick neck looking very short and angry. He looked at the double line
of peasants
and he spat on the ground. He could spit actual saliva which, in such a circumstance,
as you should know, Inglés, is very rare and he said, ‘Arriba Espana! Down
with the miscalled Republic and I obscenity in the milk of your fathers.’ “So
they clubbed him to death very quickly because of the insult, beating him as
soon as
he reached the first of the men, beating him as he tried to walk with his
head up, beating
him until he fell and chopping at him with reaping hooks and the sickles, and
many
men bore him to the edge of the cliff to throw him over and there was blood
now on
their hands and on their clothing, and now began to be the feeling that these
who came
out were truly enemies and should be killed. “Until
Don Ricardo came out with that fierceness and calling those insults, many in
the line
would have given much, I am sure, never to have been in the line. And if any
one had
shouted from the line, ‘Come, let us pardon the rest of them. Now they have
had their
lesson,’ I am sure most would have agreed. “But
Don Ricardo with all his bravery did a great disservice to the others. For he
aroused
the men in the line and where, before, they were performing a duty and with
no great
taste for it, now they were angry, and the difference was apparent. “‘Let
the priest out and the thing will go faster,’ some one shouted. “‘Let
out the priest.’ “‘We’ve
had three thieves, let us have the priest.’ “‘Two
thieves,’ a short peasant said to the man who had shouted. ‘It was two
thieves with
Our Lord.’ “‘Whose
Lord?’ the man said, his face angry and red. “‘In
the manner of speaking it is said Our Lord.’ “‘He
isn’t my Lord; not in joke,’ said the other. ‘And thee hadst best watch thy
mouth if thou
dost not want to walk between the lines.’ “‘I
am as good a Libertarian Republican as thou,’ the short peasant said. ‘I
struck Don Ricardo
across the mouth. I struck Don Federico across the back. I missed Don Benito.
But
I say Our Lord is the formal way of speaking of the man in question and that
it was two
thieves.’ “‘I
obscenity in the milk of thy Republicanism. You speak of Don this and Don
that.’ “‘Here
are they so called.’ “‘Not
by me, the cabrones. And thy Lord— Hi! Here comes a new one!’ “It
was then that we saw a disgraceful sight, for the man who walked out of the doorway
of the Ayuntamiento was Don Faustino Rivero, the oldest son of his father,
Don Celestino
Rivero, a land owner. He was tall and his hair was yellow and it was freshly combed
back from his forehead for he always carried a comb in his pocket and he had combed
his hair now before coming out. He was a great annoyer of girls, and he was a
coward,
and he had always wished to be an amateur bullfighter. He went much with gypsies
and with builfighters and with bull raisers and delighted to wear the
Andalucian costume,
but he had no courage and was considered a joke. One time he was announced
to appear in an amateur benefit fight for the old people’s home in Avila and to
kill a bull from on horseback in the Andalucian style, which he had spent
much time practising,
and when he had seen the size of the bull that had been substituted for him in
place of the little one, weak in the legs, he had picked out himself, he had
said he was sick
and, some said, put three fingers down his throat to make himself vomit. “When
the lines saw him, they commenced to shout, ‘Hola, Don Faustino. Take care not
to vomit.’ “‘Listen
to me, Don Faustino. There are beautiful girls over the cliff.’ “‘Don
Faustino. Wait a minute and we will bring out a bull bigger than the other.’ “And
another shouted, ‘Listen to me, Don Faustino. Hast thou ever heard speak of death?’
“Don
Faustino stood there, still acting brave. He was still under the impulse that
had made
him announce to the others that he was going out. It was the same impulse
that had
made him announce himself for the bullfight. That had made him believe and
hope that
he could be an amateur matador. Now he was inspired by the example of Don Ricardo
and he stood there looking both handsome and brave and he made his face scornful.
But he could not speak. “‘Come,
Don Faustino,’ some one called from the line. ‘Come, Don Faustino. Here is the
biggest bull of all.’ “Don
Faustino stood looking out and I think as he looked, that there was no pity
for him
on either side of the line. Still he looked both handsome and superb; but
time was shortening
and there was only one direction to go. “‘Don
Faustino,’ some one called. ‘What are you waiting for, Don Faustino?’ “‘He
is preparing to vomit,’ some one said and the lines laughed. “‘Don
Faustino,’ a peasant called. ‘Vomit if it will give thee pleasure. To me it
is all the same.’
“Then,
as we watched, Don Faustino looked along the lines and across the square to the
cliff and then when he saw the cliff and the emptiness beyond, he turned
quickly and ducked
back toward the entrance of the Ayuntamiento. “All
the lines roared and some one shouted in a high voice, ‘Where do you go, Don Faustino?
Where do you go?’ “‘He
goes to throw up,’ shouted another and they all laughed again. “Then
we saw Don Faustino coming out again with Pablo behind him with the shotgun. All
of his style was gone now. The sight of the lines had taken away his type and
his style
and he came out now with Pablo behind him as though Pablo were cleaning a Street
and Don Faustino was what he was pushing ahead of him. Don Faustino came out
now and he was crossing himself and praying and then he put his hands in
front of his
eyes and walked down the steps toward the lines. “‘Leave
him alone,’ some one shouted. ‘Don’t touch him.’ “The
lines understood and no one made a move to touch Don Faustino and, with his hands
shaking and held in front of his eyes, and with his mouth moving, he walked along
between the lines. “No
one said anything and no one touched him and, when he was halfway through the
lines,
he could go no farther and fell to his knees. “No
one struck him. I was walking along parallel to the line to see what happened
to him
and a peasant leaned down and lifted him to his feet and said, ‘Get up, Don Faustino,
and keep walking. The bull has not yet come out.’ “Don
Faustino could not walk alone and the peasant in a black smock helped him on one
side and another peasant in a black smock and herdsman’s boots helped him on the
other, supporting him by the arms and Don Faustino walking along between the lines
with his hands over his eyes, his lips never quiet, and his yellow hair
slicked on his head
and shining in the sun, and as he passed the peasants would say, ‘Don
Faustino, buen
provecho. Don Faustino, that you should have a good appetite,’ and others
said, ‘Don
Faustino, a sus ordenes. Don Faustino at your orders,’ and one, who had
failed at bullfighting
himself, said, ‘Don Faustino. Matador, a sus ordenes,’ and another said, ‘Don
Faustino, there are beautiful girls in heaven, Don Faustino.’ And they walked
Don Faustino
through the lines, holding him close on either side, holding him up as he walked,
with him with his hands over his eyes. But he must have looked through his fingers,
because when they came to the edge of the cliff with him, he knelt again, throwing
himself down and clutching the ground and holding to the grass, saying, ‘No. No.
No. Please. NO. Please. Please. No. No.’ “Then
the peasants who were with him and the others, the hard ones of the end of
the line,
squatted quickly behind him as he knelt, and gave him a rushing push and he
was over
the edge without ever having been beaten and you heard him crying loud and
high as
he fell. “It
was then I knew that the lines had become cruel and it was first the insults
of Don Ricardo
and second the cowardice of Don Faustino that had made them so. “‘Let
us have another,’ a peasant called out and another peasant slapped him on the
back
and said, ‘Don Faustino! What a thing! Don Faustino!’ “‘He’s
seen the big bull now,’ another said. ‘Throwing up will never help him, now.’
“‘In
my life,’ another peasant said, ‘in my life I’ve never seen a thing like Don
Faustino.’ “‘There
are others,’ another peasant said. ‘Have patience. Who knows what we may yet
see?’ “‘There
may be giants and dwarfs,’ the first peasant said. ‘There may be Negroes and rare
beasts from Africa. But for me never, never will there be anything like Don
Faustino. But
let’s have another one! Come on. Let’s have another one!’ “The
drunkards were handing around bottles of anis and cognac that they had looted
from
the bar of the club of the fascists, drinking them down like wine, and many
of the men
in the lines were beginning to be a little drunk, too, from drinking after
the strong emotion
of Don Benito, Don Federico, Don Ricardo and especially Don Faustino. Those who
did not drink from the bottles of liquor were drinking from leather wineskins
that were
passed about and one handed a wineskin to me and I took a long drink, letting
the wine
run cool down my throat from the leather bota for I was very thirsty, too. “‘To
kill gives much thirst,’ the man with the wineskin said to me. “‘Qué
va,’ I said. ‘Hast thou killed?’ “‘We
have killed four,’ he said, proudly. ‘Not counting the civiles. Is it true
that thee killed
one of the civiles, Pilar?’ “‘Not
one,’ I said. ‘I shot into the smoke when the wall fell, as did the others.
That is all.’
“‘Where
got thee the pistol, Pilar?’ “‘From
Pablo. Pablo gave it to me after he killed the civiles.’ “‘Killed
he them with this pistol?’ “‘With
no other,’ I said. ‘And then he armed me with it.’ “‘Can
I see it, Pilar? Can I hold it?’ “‘Why
not, man?’ I said, and I took it out from under the rope and handed it to
him. But I
was wondering why no one else had come out and just then who should come out
but Don
Guillermo Martin from whose store the flails, the herdsman’s clubs, and the
wooden pitchforks
had been taken. Don Guillermo was a fascist but otherwise there Was nothing against
him. “It
is true he paid little to those who made the flails but he charged little for
them too and
if one did not wish to buy flails from Don Guillermo, it was possible to make
them for nothing
more than the cost of the wood and the leather. He had a rude way of speaking
and
he was undoubtedly a fascist and a member of their club and he sat at noon
and at evening
in the cane chairs of their club to read El Debate, to have his shoes shined,
and to
drink vermouth and seltzer and eat roasted almonds, dried shrimps, and
anchovies. But
one does not kill for that, and I am sure if it had not been for the insults
of Don Ricardo
Montalvo and the lamentable spectacle of Don Faustino, and the drinking consequent
on the emotion of them and the others, some one would have shouted, ‘That
Don Guillermo should go in peace. We have his flails. Let him go.’ “Because
the people of this town are as kind as they can be cruel and they have a natural
sense of justice and a desire to do that which is right. But cruelty had
entered into
the lines and also drunkenness or the beginning of drunkenness and the lines
were not
as they were when Don Benito had come out. I do not know how it is in other countries,
and no one cares more for the pleasure of drinking than I do, but in Spain drunkenness,
when produced by other elements than wine, is a thing of great ugliness and
the people do things that they would not have done. Is it not so in your
country, Inglés?”
“It
is so,” Robert Jordan said. “When I was seven years old and going with my
mother to
attend a wedding in the state of Ohio at which I was to be the boy of a pair
of boy and girl
who carried flowers—” “Did
you do that?” asked Maria. “How nice!” “In
this town a Negro was hanged to a lamp post and later burned. It was an arc
light. A
light which lowered from the post to the pavement. And he was hoisted, first
by the mechanism
which was used to hoist the arc light but this broke—” “A
Negro,” Maria said. “How barbarous!” “Were
the people drunk?” asked Pilar. “Were they drunk thus to burn a Negro?” “I
do not know,” Robert Jordan said. “Because I saw it only looking out from
under the blinds
of a window in the house which stood on the corner where the arc light was.
The street
was full of people and when they lifted the Negro up for the second time—” “If
you had only seven years and were in a house, you could not tell if they were
drunk or
not,” Pilar said. “As
I said, when they lifted the Negro up for the second time, my mother pulled
me away
from the window, so I saw no more,” Robert Jordan said. “But since I have had
experiences
which demonstrate that drunkenness is the same in my country. It is ugly and
brutal.” “You
were too young at seven,” Maria said. “You were too young for such things. I have
never seen a Negro except in a circus. Unless the Moors are Negroes.” “Some
are Negroes and some are not,” Pilar said. “I can talk to you of the Moors.” “Not
as I can,” Maria said. “Nay, not as I can.” “Don’t
speak of such things,” Pilar said. “It is unhealthy. Where were we?” “Speaking
of the drunkenness of the lines,” Robert Jordan said. “Go on.” “It
is not fair to say drunkenness,” Pilar said. “For, yet, they were a long way from
drunkenness.
But already there was a change in them, and when Don Guillermo came out,
standing straight, near-sighted, gray-headed, of medium height, with a shirt
with a collar
button but no collar, standing there and crossing himself once and looking
ahead, but
seeing little without his glasses, but walking forward well and calmly, he
was an appearance
to excite pity. But some one shouted from the line, ‘Here, Don Guillermo. Up
here, Don Guillermo. In this direction. Here we all have your products.’ “They
had had such success joking at Don Faustino that they could not see, now,
that Don
Guillermo was a different thing, and if Don Guillermo was to be killed, he
should be killed
quickly and with dignity. “‘Don
Guillermo,’ another shouted. ‘Should we send to the house for thy
spectacles?’ “Don
Guillermo’s house was no house, since he had not much money and was only a fascist
to be a snob and to console himself that he must work for little, running a wooden-implement
shop. He was a fascist, too, from the religiousness of his wife which he
accepted as his own due to his love for her. He lived in an apartment in the
building three
houses down the square and when Don Guillermo stood there, looking near- sightedly
at the lines, the double lines he knew he must enter, a woman started to scream
from the balcony of the apartment where he lived. She could see him from the balcony
and she was his wife. “‘Guillermo,’
she cried. ‘Guillermo. Wait and I will be with thee.’ “Don
Guillermo turned his head toward where the shouting came from. He could not see
her. He tried to say something but he could not. Then he waved his hand in
the direction
the woman had called from and started to walk between the lines. “‘Guillermo!’
she cried. ‘Guillermo! Oh, Guillermo!’ She was holding her hands on the rail
of the balcony and shaking back and forth. ‘Guillermo!’ “Don
Guillermo waved his hand again toward the noise and walked into the lines
with his
head up and you would not have known what he was feeling except for the color
of his
face. “Then
some drunkard yelled, ‘Guillermo!’ from the lines, imitating the high cracked
voice
of his wife and Don Guillermo rushed toward the man, blindly, with tears now running
down his cheeks and the man hit him hard across the face with his flail and
Don Guillermo
sat down from the force of the blow and sat there crying, but not from fear, while
the drunkards beat him and one drunkard jumped on top of him, astride his shoulders,
and beat him with a bottle. After this many of the men left the lines and
their places
were taken by the drunkards who had been jeering and saying things in bad taste
through the windows of the Ayuntamiento. “I
myself had felt much emotion at the shooting of the guardia civil by Pablo,”
Pilar said.
“It was a thing of great ugliness, but I had thought if this is how it must
be, this is how
it must be, and at least there was no cruelty, only the depriving of life
which, as we all
have learned in these years, is a thing of ugliness but also a necessity to
do if we are to
win, and to preserve the Republic. “When
the square had been closed off and the lines formed, I had admired and understood
it as a conception of Pablo, although it seemed to me to be somewhat fantastic
and that it would be necessary for all that was to be done to be done in good
taste
if it were not to be repugnant. Certainly if the fascists were to be executed
by the people,
it was better for all the people to have a part in it, and I wished to share
the guilt as
much as any, just as I hoped to share in the benefits when the town should be
ours. But
after Don Guillermo I felt a feeling of shame and distaste, and with the
coming of the drunkards
and the worthless ones into the lines, and the abstention of those who left
the lines
as a protest after Don Guillermo, I wished that I might disassociate myself altogether
from the lines, and I walked away, across the square, and sat down on a bench
under one of the big trees that gave shade there. “Two
peasants from the lines walked over, talking together, and one of them called
to me,
‘What passes with thee, Pilar?’ “‘Nothing,
man,’ I told him. “‘Yes,’
he said. ‘Speak. What passes.’ “‘I
think that I have a belly-full,’ I told him. “‘Us,
too,’ he said and they both sat down on the bench. One of them had a leather wineskin
and he handed it to me. “‘Rinse
out thy mouth,’ he said and the other said, going on with the talking they
had been
engaged in, ‘The worst is that it will bring bad luck. Nobody can tell me
that such things
as the killing of Don Guillermo in that fashion will not bring bad luck.’ “Then
the other said, ‘If it is necessary to kill them all, and I am not convinced
of that necessity,
let them be killed decently and without mockery.’ “‘Mockery
is justified in the case of Don Faustino,’ the other said. ‘Since he was always
a farcer and was never a serious man. But to mock such a serious man as Don Guillermo
is beyond all right.’ “‘I
have a belly-full,’ I told him, and it was literally true because I felt an
actual sickness in
all of me inside and a sweating and a nausea as though I had swallowed bad
sea food.
“‘Then,
nothing,’ the one peasant said. ‘We will take no further part in it. But I
wonder what
happens in the other towns.’ “‘They
have not repaired the telephone wires yet,’ I said. ‘It is a lack that should
be remedied.’
“‘Clearly,’
he said. ‘Who knows but what we might be better employed putting the town into
a state of defense than massacring people with this slowness and brutality.’ “‘I
will go to speak with Pablo, I told them and I stood up from the bench and
started toward
the arcade that led to the door of the Ayuntamiento from where the lines
spread across
the square. The lines now were neither straight nor orderly and there was
much and
very grave drunkenness. Two men had fallen down and lay on their backs in the
middle
of the square and were passing a bottle back and forth between them. One would
take a drink and then shout, ‘Viva la Anarquia!’ lying on his back and
shouting as though
he were a madman. He had a red-and-black handkerchief around his neck. The other
shouted, ‘Viva la Libertad!’ and kicked his feet in the air and then bellowed,
‘Viva la
Libertad!’ again. He had a red-andblack handkerchief too and he waved it in
one hand and
waved the bottle with the other. “A
peasant who had left the lines and now stood in the shade of the arcade
looked at them
in disgust and said, ‘They should shout, “Long live drunkenness.” That’s all
they believe
in.’ “‘They
don’t believe even in that,’ another peasant said. ‘Those neither understand
nor believe
in anything.’ “Just
then, one of the drunkards got to his feet and raised both arms with his
fists clenched
over his head and shouted, ‘Long live Anarchy and Liberty and I obscenity in the
milk of the Republic!’ “The
other drunkard who was still lying on his back, took hold of the ankle of the
drunkard
who was shouting and rolled over so that the shouting drunkard fell with him,
and
they rolled over together and then sat up and the one who had pulled the
other down
put his arm around the shouter’s neck and then handed the shouter a bottle
and kissed
the red-and-black handkerchief he wore and they both drank together. “Just
then, a yelling went up from the lines and, looking up the arcade, I could
not see who
it was that was coming out because the man’s head did not show above the
heads of
those crowded about the door of the Ayuntamiento. All I could see was that
some one was
being pushed out by Pablo and Cuatro Dedos with their shotguns but I could
not see
who it was and I moved on close toward the lines where they were packed
against the
door to try to see. “There
was much pushing now and the chairs and the tables of the fascists’ café had been
overturned except for one table on which a drunkard was lying with his head hanging
down and his mouth open and I picked up a chair and set it against one of the
pillars
and mounted on it so that I could see over the heads of the crowd. “The
man who was being pushed out by Pablo and Cuatro Dedos was Don Anastasio Rivas,
who was an undoubted fascist and the fattest man in the town. He was a grain buyer
and the agent for several insurance companies and he also loaned money at
high rates
of interest. Standing on the chair, I saw him walk down the steps and toward
the lines,
his fat neck bulging over the back of the collar band of his shirt, and his
bald head shining
in the sun, but he never entered them because there was a shout, not as of different
men shouting, but of all of them. It was an ugly noise and was the cry of the
drunken
lines all yelling together and the lines broke with the rush of men toward
him and
I saw Don Anastasio throw himself down with his hands over his head and then
you could
not see him for the men piled on top of him. And when the men got up from
him, Don
Anastasio was dead from his head being beaten against the stone flags of the paving
of the arcade and there were no more lines but only a mob. “‘We’re
going in,’ they commenced to shout. ‘We’re going in after them.’ “‘He’s
too heavy to carry,’ a man kicked at the body of Don Anastasio, who was lying
there
on his face. ‘Let him stay there.’ “‘Why
should we lug that tub of tripe to the cliff? Let him lie there.’ “‘We
are going to enter and finish with them inside,’ a man shouted. ‘We’re going
in.’ “‘Why
wait all day in the sun?’ another yelled. ‘Come on. Let us go.’ “The
mob was now pressing into the arcade. They were shouting and pushing and they
made a noise now like an animal and they were all shouting ‘Open up! Open
up!’ for
the guards had shut the doors of the Ayuntamiento when the lines broke. “Standing
on the chair, I could see in through the barred window into the hail of the Ayuntamiento
and in there it was as it had been before. The priest was standing, and those
who were left were kneeling in a half circle around him and they were all praying.
Pablo
was sitting on the big table in front of the Mayor’s chair with his shotgun
slung over
his back. His legs were hanging down from the table and he was rolling a
cigarette. Cuatro
Dedos was sitting in the Mayor’s chair with his feet on the table and he was smoking
a cigarette. All the guards were sitting in different chairs of the
administration, holding
their guns. The key to the big door was on the table beside Pablo. “The
mob was shouting, ‘Open up! Open up! Open up!’ as though it were a chant and Pablo
was sitting there as though he did not hear them. He said something to the
priest but
I could not hear what he said for the noise of the mob. “The
priest, as before, did not answer him but kept on praying. With many people pushing
me, I moved the chair close against the wall, shoving it ahead of me as they shoved
me from behind. I stood on the chair with my face close against the bars of
the window
and held on by the bars. A man climbed on the chair too and stood with his arms
around mine, holding the wider bars. “‘The
chair will break,’ I said to him. “‘What
does it matter?’ he said. ‘Look at them. Look at them pray.’ “His
breath on my neck smelled like the smell of the mob, sour, like vomit on
paving stones
and the smell of drunkenness, and then he put his mouth against the opening
in the
bars with his head over my shoulder, and shouted, ‘Open up! Open!’ and it was
as though
the mob were on my back as a devil is on your back in a dream. “Now
the mob was pressed tight against the door so that those in front were being crushed
by all the others who were pressing and from the square a big drunkard in a black
smock with a red-and-black handkerchief around his neck, ran and threw
himself against
the press of the mob and fell forward onto the pressing men and then stood up
and
backed away and then ran forward again and threw himself against the backs of
those
men who were pushing, shouting, ‘Long live me and long live Anarchy.’ “As
I watched, this man turned away from the crowd and went and sat down and drank
from a bottle and then, while he was sitting down, he saw Don Anastasio, who was
still lying face down on the stones, but much trampled now, and the drunkard
got up and
went over to Don Anastasio and leaned over and poured out of the bottle onto
the head
of Don Anastasio and onto his clothes, and then he took a matchbox out of his
pocket
and lit several matches, trying to make a fire with Don Anastasio. But the
wind was
blowing hard now and it blew the matches out and after a little the big
drunkard sat there
by Don Anastasio, shaking his head and drinking out of the bottle and every
once in
a while, leaning over and patting Don Anastasio on the shoulders of his dead
body. “All
this time the mob was shouting to open up and the man on the chair with me
was holding
tight to the bars of the window and shouting to open up until it deafened me
with his
voice roaring past my ear and his breath foul on me and I looked away from watching
the drunkard who had been trying to set fire to Don Anastasio and into the
hall of
the Ayuntamiento again; and it was just as it had been. They were still
praying as they had
been, the men all kneeling, with their shirts open, some with their heads
down, others
with their heads up, looking toward the priest and toward the crucifix that
he held, and
the priest praying fast and hard and looking Out over their heads, and in
back of them
Pablo, with his cigarette now lighted, was sitting there on the table
swinging his legs,
his shotgun slung over his back, and he was playing with the key. “I
saw Pablo speak to the priest again, leaning forward from the table and I
could not hear
what he said for the shouting. But the priest did not answer him but went on praying.
Then a man stood up from among the half circle of those who were praying and I
saw he wanted to go out. It was Don José Castro, whom every one called Don
Pepe, a confirmed
fascist, and a dealer in horses, and he stood up now small, neat-looking even
unshaven
and wearing a pajama top tucked into a pair of gray-striped trousers. He kissed
the crucifix and the priest blessed him and he stood up and looked at Pablo
and jerked
his head toward the door. “Pablo
shook his head and went on smoking. I could see Don Pepe say something to Pablo
but could not hear it. Pablo did not answer; he simply shook his head again
and nodded
toward the door. “Then
I saw Don Pepe look full at the door and realized that he had not known it
was locked.
Pablo showed him the key and he Stood looking at it an instant and then he turned
and went and knelt down again. I saw the priest look around at Pablo and
Pablo grinned
at him and showed him the key and the priest seemed to realize for the first
time that
the door was locked and he seemed as though he started to shake his head, but
he only
inclined it and went back to praying. “I
do not know how they could not have understood the door was locked unless it
was that
they were so concentrated on their praying and their own thoughts; but now
they certainly
understood and they understood the shouting and they must have known now that
all was changed. But they remained the same as before. “By
now the shouting was so that you could hear nothing and the drunkard who
stood on
the chair with me shook with his hands at the bars and yelled, ‘Open up! Open
up!’ until
he was hoarse. “I
watched Pablo speak to the priest again and the priest did not answer. Then I
saw Pablo
unsling his shotgun and he reached over and tapped the priest on the shoulder
with
it. The priest paid no attention to him and I saw Pablo shake his head. Then
he spoke
over his shoulder to Cuatro Dedos and Cuatro Dedos spoke to the other guards and
they all stood up and walked back to the far end of the room and stood there
with their
shotguns. “I
saw Pablo say something to Cuatro Dedos and he moved over two tables and some
benches
and the guards stood behind them with their shotguns. It made a barricade in that
corner of the room. Pablo leaned over and tapped the priest on the shoulder
again with
the shotgun and the priest did not pay attention to him but I saw Don Pepe watching
him while the others paid no attention but went on praying. Pablo shook his head
and, seeing Don Pepe looking at him, he shook his head at Don Pepe and showed
him
the key, holding it up in his hand. Don Pepe understood and he dropped his
head and
commenced to pray very fast. “Pablo
swung his legs down from the table and walked around it to the big chair of
the Mayor
on the raised platform behind the long council table. He sat down in it and
rolled himself
a cigarette, all the time watching the fascists who were praying with the
priest. You
could not see any expression on his face at all. The key was on the table in
front of him.
It was a big key of iron, over a foot long. Then Pablo called to the guards something
I could not hear and one guard went down to the door. I could see them all praying
faster than ever and I knew that they all knew now. “Pablo
said something to the priest but the priest did not answer. Then Pablo leaned
forward,
picked up the key and tossed it underhand to the guard at the door. The guard
caught
it and Pablo smiled at him. Then the guard put the key in the door, turned
it, and pulled
the door toward him, ducking behind it as the mob rushed in. “I
saw them come in and just then the drunkard on the chair with me commenced to
shout
‘Ayee! Ayee! Ayee!’ and pushed his head forward so I could not see and then
he shouted
‘Kill them! Kill them! Club them! Kill them!’ and he pushed me aside with his
two arms
and I could see nothing. “I
hit my elbow into his belly and I said, ‘Drunkard, whose chair is this? Let
me see.’ “But
he just kept shaking his hands and arms against the bars and shouting, ‘Kill
them! Club
them! Club them! that’s it. Club them! Kill them!
Cabrones!Cabrones!Cabrones!’ “I
hit him hard with my elbow and said, ‘Cabron! Drunkard! Let me see.’ “Then
he put both his hands on my head to push me down and so he might see better and
leaned all his weight on my head and went on shouting, ‘Club them! that’s it.
Club them!’
“‘Club
yourself,’ I said and I hit him hard where it would hurt him and it hurt him
and he dropped
his hands from my head and grabbed himself and said. ‘No hay derecho, mujer.
This, woman, you have no right to do.’ And in that moment, looking through
the bars,
I saw the hail full of men flailing away with clubs and striking with flails,
and poking and
striking and pushing and heaving against people with the white wooden
pitchforks that
now were red and with their tines broken, and this was going on all over the
room while
Pablo sat in the big chair with his shotgun on his knees, watching, and they
were shouting
and clubbing and stabbing and men were screaming as horses scream in a fire.
And I saw the priest with his skirts tucked up scrambling over a bench and
those after
him were chopping at him with the sickles and the reaping hooks and then some
one
had hold of his robe and there was another scream and another scream and I
saw two
men chopping into his back with sickles while a third man held the skirt of
his robe and
the Priest’s arms were up and he was clinging to the back of a chair and then
the chair
I was standing on broke and the drunkard and I were on the pavement that smelled
of spilled wine and vomit and the drunkard was shaking his finger at me and saying,
‘No hay derecho, mujer, no hay derecho. You could have done me an injury,’ and
the people were trampling over us to get into the hall of the Ayuntamiento
and all I could
see was legs of people going in the doorway and the drunkard sitting there
facing me
and holding himself where I had hit him. “That
was the end of the killing of the fascists in our town and I was glad I did
not see more
of it and, but for that drunkard, I would have seen it all. So he served some
good because
in the Ayuntamiento it was a thing one is sorry to have seen. “But
the other drunkard was something rarer still. As we got up after the breaking
of the
chair, and the people were still crowding into the Ayuntamiento, I saw this
drunkard of
the square with his red-and-black scarf, again pouring something over Don
Anastasio. He
was shaking his head from side to side and it was very hard for him to sit
up, but he was
pouring and lighting matches and then pouring and lighting matches and I
walked over
to him and said, ‘What are you doing, shameless?’ “‘Nada,
mujer, nada,’ he said. ‘Let me alone.’ “And
perhaps because I was standing there so that my legs made a shelter from the wind,
the match caught and a blue flame began to run up the shoulder of the coat of
Don
Anastasio and onto the back of his neck and the drunkard put his head up and shouted
in a huge voice, ‘They’re burning the dead! They’re burning the dead!’ “‘Who?’
somebody said. “‘Where?’
shouted some one else. “‘Here,’
bellowed the drunkard. ‘Exactly here!’ “Then
some one hit the drunkard a great blow alongside the head with a flail and he
fell
back, and lying on the ground, he looked up at the man who had hit him and
then shut
his eyes and crossed his hands on his chest, and lay there beside Don
Anastasio as
though he were asleep. The man did not hit him again and he lay there and he
was still
there when they picked up Don Anastasio and put him with the others in the
cart that hauled
them all over to the cliff where they were thrown over that evening with the others
after there had been a cleaning up in the Ayuntamiento. It would have been better
for the town if they had thrown over twenty or thirty of the drunkards,
especially those
of the red-and-black scarves, and if we ever have another revolution I
believe they should
be destroyed at the start. But then we did not know this. But in the next
days we were
to learn. “But
that night we did not know what was to come. After the slaying in the Ayuntamiento
there was no more killing but we could not have a meeting that night because
there were too many drunkards. It was impossible to obtain order and so the meeting
was postponed until the next day. “That
night I slept with Pablo. I should not say this to you, guapa, but on the
other hand,
it is good for you to know everything and at least what I tell you is true.
Listen to this,
Inglés. It is very curious. “As
I say, that night we ate and it was very curious. It was as after a storm or
a flood or a
battle and every one was tired and no one spoke much. I, myself, felt hollow
and not well
and I was full of shame and a sense of wrongdoing and I had a great feeling
of oppression
and of bad to come, as this morning after the planes. And certainly, bad came
within three days. “Pablo,
when we ate, spoke little. “‘Did you like it, Pilar?’ he asked finally
with his mouth full of roast young goat. We were
eating at the inn from where the buses leave and the room was crowded and people
were singing and there was difficulty serving. “‘No,’
I said. ‘Except for Don Faustino, I did not like it.’ “‘I
liked it,’ he said. “‘All
of it?’ I asked him. “‘All
of it,’ he said and cut himself a big piece of bread with his knife and
commenced to
mop up gravy with it. ‘All of it, except the priest.’ “‘You
didn’t like it about the priest?’ because I knew he hated priests even worse
than he
hated fascists. “‘He
was a disillusionment to me,’ Pablo said sadly. “So
many people were singing that we had to almost shout to hear one another. “‘Why?’
“‘He
died very badly,’ Pablo said. ‘He had very little dignity.’ “‘How
did you want him to have dignity when he was being chased by the mob?’ I said.
‘I thought he had much dignity all the time before. All the dignity that one
could have.’
“‘Yes,’
Pablo said. ‘But in the last minute he was frightened.’ “‘Who
wouldn’t be?’ I said. ‘Did you see what they were chasing him with?’ “‘Why
would I not see?’ Pablo said. ‘But I find he died badly.’ “‘In
such circumstances any one dies badly,’ I told him. ‘What do you want for
your money?
Everything that happened in the Ayuntamiento was scabrous.’ “‘Yes,’
said Pablo. ‘There was little organization. But a priest. He has an example
to set.’
“‘I
thought you hated priests.’ “‘Yes,’
said Pablo and cut some more bread. ‘But a Spanish priest. A Spanish priest should
die very well.’ “‘I
think he died well enough,’ I said. ‘Being deprived of all formality.’ “‘No,’
Pablo said. ‘To me he was a great disillusionment. All day I had waited for
the death
of the priest. I had thought he would be the last to enter the lines. I
awaited it with great
anticipation. I expected something of a culmination. I had never seen a
priest die.’ “‘There
is time,’ I said to him sarcastically. ‘Only today did the movement start.’ “‘No,’
he said. ‘I am disillusioned.’ “‘Now,’
I said. ‘I suppose you will lose your faith.’ “‘You
do not understand, Pilai’ he said. ‘He was a Spanish priest.’ “‘What
people the Spaniards are,’ I said to him. And what a people they are for
pride, eh,
Inglés? What a people.” “We
must get on,” Robert Jordan said. He looked at the sun. “It’s nearly noon.” “Yes,”
Pilar said. “We will go now. But let me tell you about Pablo. That night he
said to
me, ‘Pilar, tonight we will do nothing.’ “‘Good,’
I told him. ‘That pleases me.’ “‘I
think it would be bad taste after the killing of so many people.’ “‘Qué
va,’ I told him. ‘What a saint you are. You think I lived years with
bullfighters not to
know how they are after the Corrida?’ “‘Is
it true, Pilar?’ he asked me. “‘When
did I lie to you?’ I told him. “‘It
is true, Pilar, I am a finished man this night. You do not reproach me?’ “‘No,
hombre,’ I said to him. ‘But don’t kill people every day, Pablo.’ “And
he slept that night like a baby and I woke him in the morning at daylight but
I could
not sleep that night and I got up and sat in a chair and looked out of the
window and
I could see the square in the moonlight where the lines had been and across
the square
the trees shining in the moonlight, and the darkness of their shadows, and
the benches
bright too in the moonlight, and the scattered bottles shining, and beyond
the edge
of the cliff where they had all been thrown. And there was no sound but the splashing
of the water in the fountain and I sat there and I thought we have begun
badly. “The window was open and up the square from
the Fonda I could hear a woman crying.
I went out on the balcony standing there in my bare feet on the iron and the moon
shone on the faces of all the buildings of the square and the crying was
coming from
the balcony of the house of Don Guillermo. It was his wife and she was on the
balcony
kneeling and crying. “Then
I went back inside the room and I sat there and I did not wish to think for
that was
the worst day of my life until one other day.” “What
was the other?” Maria asked. “Three
days later when the fascists took the town.” “Do
not tell me about it,” said Maria. “I do not want to hear it. This is enough.
This was too
much.” “I
told you that you should not have listened,” Pilar said. “See. I did not want
you to hear
it. Now you will have bad dreams.” “No,”
said Maria. “But I do not want to hear more.” “I
wish you would tell me of it sometime,” Robert Jordan said. “I
will,” Pilar said. “But it is bad for Maria.” “I
don’t want to hear it,” Maria said pitifully. “Please, Pilar. And do not tell
it if I am there,
for I might listen in spite of myself.” Her
lips were working and Robert Jordan thought she would cry. “Please,
Pilar, do not tell it.” “Do
not worry, little cropped head,” Pilar said. “Do not worry. But I will tell
the Inglés sometime.”
“But
I want to be there when he is there,” Maria said. “Oh, Pilar, do not tell it
at all.” “I
will tell it when thou art working.” “No.
No. Please. Let us not tell it at all,” Maria said. “It
is only fair to tell it since I have told what we did,” Pilar said. “But you
shall never hear
it.” “Are
there no pleasant things to speak of?” Maria said. “Do we have to talk always
of horrors?”
“This
afternoon,” Pilar said, “thou and Inglés. The two of you can speak of what
you wish.”
“Then
that the afternoon should come,” Maria said. “That it should come flying.” “It
will come,” Pilar told her. “It will come flying and go the same way and
tomorrow will fly,
too.” “This
afternoon,” Maria said. “This afternoon. That this afternoon should come.” 11 As they came up, still deep in the shadow of
the pines, after dropping down from the high
meadow into the wooden valley and climbing up it on a trail that paralleled
the stream
and then left it to gain, steeply, the top of a rim-rock formation, a man
with a carbine
stepped out from behind a tree. “Halt,”
he said. Then, “Hola, Pilar. Who is this with thee?” “An
Inglés,” Pilar said. “But with a Christian name—Roberto. And what an
obscenity of steepness
it is to arrive here.” “Salud,
Camarada,” the guard said to Robert Jordan and put out his hand. “Are you well?”
“Yes,”
said Robert Jordan. “And thee?” “Equally,”
the guard said. He was very young, with a light build, thin, rather hawk- nosed
face, high cheekbones and gray eyes. He wore no hat, his hair was black and shaggy
and his handclasp was strong and friendly. His eyes were friendly too. “Hello,
Maria,” he said to the girl. “You did not tire yourself?” “Qué
va, Joaquín,” the girl said. “We have sat and talked more than we have
walked.” “Are
you the dynamiter?” Joaquín asked. “We have heard you were here.” “We
passed the night at Pablo’s,” Robert Jordan said. “Yes, I am the dynamiter.” “We are glad to see you,” Joaquín said. “Is
it for a train?” “Were
you at the last train?” Robert Jordan asked and smiled. “Was
I not,” Joaquín said. “That’s where we got this,” he grinned at Maria. “You
are pretty
now,” he said to Maria. “Have they told thee how pretty?” “Shut
up, Joaquín, and thank you very much,” Maria said. “You’d be pretty with a haircut.”
“I
carried thee,” Joaquín told the girl. “I carried thee over my shoulder.” “As
did many others,” Pilar said in the deep voice. “Who didn’t carry her? Where
is the old
man?” “At
the camp.” “Where
was he last night?” “In
Segovia.” “Did
he bring news?” “Yes,”
Joaquín said, “there is news.” “Good
or bad?” “I
believe bad.” “Did
you see the planes?” “Ay,”
said Joaquín and shook his head. “Don’t talk to me of that. Comrade
Dynamiter, what
planes were those?” “Heinkel
one eleven bombers. Heinkel and Fiat pursuit,” Robert Jordan told him. “What
were the big ones with the low wings?” “Heinkel
one elevens.” “By
any names they are as bad,” Joaquín said. “But I am delaying you. I will take
you to
the commander.” “The
commander?” Pilar asked. Joaquín
nodded seriously. “I like it better than ‘chief,” he said. “It is more
military.” “You
are militarizing heavily,” Pilar said and laughed at him. “No,”
Joaquín said. “But I like military terms because it makes orders clearer and
for better
discipline.” “Here
is one according to thy taste, Inglés,” Pilar said. “A very serious boy.” “Should
I carry thee?” Joaquín asked the girl and put his arm on her shoulder and smiled
in her face. “Once
was enough,” Maria told him. “Thank you just the same.” “Can
you remember it?” Joaquín asked her. “I
can remember being carried,” Maria said. “By you, no. I remember the gypsy because
he dropped me so many times. But I thank thee, Joaquín, and I’ll carry thee sometime.”
“I
can remember it well enough,” Joaquín said. “I can remember holding thy two
legs and
thy belly was on my shoulder and thy head over my back and thy arms hanging down
against my back.” “Thou
hast much memory,” Maria said and smiled at him. “I remember nothing of that.
Neither
thy arms nor thy shoulders nor thy back.” “Do
you want to know something?” Joaquín asked her. “What
is it?” “I
was glad thou wert hanging over my back when the shots were coming from
behind us.”
“What
a swine,” Maria said. “And was it for this the gypsy too carried me so much?”
“For
that and to hold onto thy legs.” “My
heroes,” Maria said. “My saviors.” “Listen,
guapa,” Pilar told her. “This boy carried thee much, and in that moment thy legs
said nothing to any one. In that moment only the bullets talked clearly. And
if he would
have dropped thee he could soon have been out of range of the bullets.” “I
have thanked him,” Maria said. “And I will carry him sometime. Allow us to
joke. I do not
have to cry, do I, because he carried me?” “I’d
have dropped thee,” Joaquín went on teasing her. “But I was afraid Pilar
would shoot
me.” “I
shoot no one,” Pilar said. “No
hace falta,” Joaquín told her. “You don’t need to. You scare them to death
with your
mouth.” “What
a way to speak,” Pilar told him. “And you used to be such a polite little
boy. What
did you do before the movement, little boy?” “Very
little,” Joaquín said. “I was sixteen.” “But
what, exactly?” “A
few pairs of shoes from time to time.” “Make
them?” “No.
Shine them.” “Qué
va,” said Pilar. “There is more to it than that.” She looked at his brown
face, his lithe
build, his shock of hair, and the quick heel-and-toe way that he walked. “Why
did you
fail at it?” “Fail
at what?” “What?
You know what. You’re growing the pigtail now.” “I
guess it was fear,” the boy said. “You’ve
a nice figure,” Pilar told him. “But the face isn’t much. So it was fear, was
it? You
were all right at the train.” “I
have no fear of them now,” the boy said. “None. And we have seen much worse things
and more dangerous than the bulls. It is clear no bull is as dangerous as a machine
gun. But if I were in the ring with one now I do not know if I could dominate
my legs.”
“He
wanted to be a bullfighter,” Pilar explained to Robert Jordan. “But he was
afraid.” “Do
you like the bulls, Comrade Dynamiter?” Joaquín grinned, showing white teeth.
“Very
much,” Robert Jordan said. “Very, very much.” “Have
you seen them in Valladolid?” asked Joaquín. “Yes.
In September at the feria.” “That’s
my town,” Joaquín said. “What a fine town but how the buena gente, the good people
of that town, have suffered in this war.” Then, his face grave, “There they
shot my
father. My mother. My brother-in-law and now my sister.” “What
barbarians,” Robert Jordan said. How
many times had he heard this? How many times had he watched people say it with
difficulty? How many times had he seen their eyes fill and their throats
harden with the
difficulty of saying my father, or my brother, or my mother, or my sister? He
could not
remember how many times he had heard them mention their dead in this way. Nearly
always they spoke as this boy did now; suddenly and apropos of the mention of
the
town and always you said, “What barbarians.” You
only heard the statement of the loss. You did not see the father fall as
Pilar made him
see the fascists die in that story she had told by the stream. You knew the
father died
in some courtyard, or against some wall, or in some field or orchard, or at
night, in the
lights of a truck, beside some road. You had seen the lights of the car from
the hills and
heard the shooting and afterwards you had come down to the road and found the
bodies.
You did not see the mother shot, nor the sister, nor the brother. You heard about
it;
you heard the shots; and you saw the bodies. Pilar
had made him see it in that town. If
that woman could only write. He would try to write it and if he had luck and
could remember
it perhaps he could get it down as she told it. God, how she could tell a
story. She’s
better than Quevedo, he thought. He never wrote the death of any Don Faustino
as
well as she told it. I wish I could write well enough to write that story, he
thought. What
we did. Not what the others did to us. He knew enough about that. He knew
plenty about
that behind the lines. But you had to have known the people before. You had
to know
what they had been in the village. Because
of our mobility and because we did not have to stay afterwards to take the punishment
we never knew how anything really ended, he thought. You stayed with a peasant
and his family. You came at night and ate with them. In the day you were hidden
and the next night you were gone. You did your job and cleared out. The next time
you came that way you heard that they had been shot. It was as simple as
that. But
you were always gone when it happened. The partizans did their damage and pulled
out. The peasants stayed and took the punishment. I’ve always known about the
other,
he thought. What we did to them at the start I’ve always known it and hated
it and I
have heard it mentioned shamelessly and shamefully, bragged of, boasted of, defended,
explained and denied. But that damned woman made me see it as though I had
been there. Well,
he thought, it is part of one’s education. It will be quite an education when
it’s finished.
You learn in this war if you listen. You most certainly did. He was lucky
that he had
lived parts of ten years ifl Spain before the war. They trusted you on the
language, principally.
They trusted you on understanding the language completely and speaking it idiomatically
and having a knowledge of the different places. A Spaniard was only really loyal
to his village in the end. First Spain of course, then his own tribe, then
his province, then
his village, his family and finally his trade. If you knew Spanish he was
prejudiced in
your favor, if you knew his province it was that much better, but if you knew
his village and
his trade you were in as far as any foreigner ever could be. He never felt
like a foreigner
in Spanish and they did not really treat him like a foreigner most of the
time; only
when they turned on you. Of
course they turned on you. They turned on you often but they always turned on
every
one. They turned on themselves, too. If you had three together, two would
unite against
one, and then the two would start to betray each other. Not always, but often
enough
for you to take enough cases and start to draw it as a conclusion. This
was no way to think; but who censored his thinking? Nobody but himself. He would
not think himself into any defeatism. The first thing was to win the war. If
we did not
win the war everything was lost. But he noticed, and listened to, and
remembered everything.
He was serving in a war and he gave absolute loyalty and as complete a performance
as he could give while he was serving. But nobody owned his mind, nor his faculties
for seeing and hearing, and if he were going to form judgments he would form them
afterwards. And there would be plenty of material to draw them from. There
was plenty
already. There was a little too much sometimes. Look
at the Pilar woman, he thought. No matter what comes, if there is time, I
must make
her tell me the rest of that story. Look at her walking along with those two
kids. You
could not get three better-looking products of Spain than those. She is like
a mountain
and the boy and the girl are like young trees. The old trees are all cut down
and
the young trees are growing clean like that. In spite of what has happened to
the two
of them they look as fresh and clean and new and untouched as though they had
never
heard of misfortune. But according to Pilar, Maria has just gotten sound
again. She
must have been in an awful shape. He
remembered a Belgian boy in the Eleventh Brigade who had enlisted with five other
boys from his village. It was a village Of about two hundred people and the
boy had
never been away froni the village before. When he first saw the boy, out at
Hans’ Brigade
Staff, the other five from the village had all been killed and the boy was in
very bad
shape and they were using him as an orderly to wait on table at the staff. He
had a big,
blond, ruddy Flemish face and huge awkward peasant hands and he moved, with the
dishes, as powerfully and awkwardly as a draft horse. But he cried all the
time. All during
the meal he cried with no noise at all. You
looked up and there he was, crying. If you asked for the wine, he cried and
if you passed
your plate for stew, he cried; turning away his head. Then he would stop; but
if you
looked up at him, tears would start coming again. Between courses he cried in
the kitchen.
Every one was very gentle with him. But it did no good. He would have to find
out
what became of him and whether he ever cleared up and was fit for soldiering
again. Maria
was sound enough now. She seemed so anyway. But he was no psychiatrist. Pilar
was the psychiatrist. It probably had been good for them to have been
together last night.
Yes, unless it stopped. It certainly had been good for him. He felt fine
today; sound
and good and unworried and happy. The show looked bad enough but he was awfully
lucky, too. He had been in others that announced themselves badly. Announced themselves;
that was thinking in Spanish. Maria was lovely. Look
at her, he said to himself. Look at her. He
looked at her striding happily in the sun; her khaki shirt open at the neck.
She walks
like a colt moves, he thought. You do not run onto something like that. Such things
don’t happen. Maybe it never did happen, he thought. Maybe you dreamed it or made
it up and it never did happen. Maybe it is like the dreams you have when some
one
you have seen in the cinema comes to your bed at night and is so kind and
lovely. He’d
slept with them all that way When he was asleep in bed. He could remember Garbo
still, and Harlow. Yes, Harlow many times. Maybe it was like those dreams. But
he could still remember the time Garbo came to his bed the flight before the
attack at
Pozoblanco and she was wearing a soft silky wool sweater when he put his arm around
her and when she leaned forward her hair swept forward and over his face and she
said why had he never told her that he loved her when she had loved him all
this time?
She was not shy, nor cold, nor distant. She was just lovely to hold and kind
and lovely
and like the old days with Jack Gilbert and it was as true as though it happened
and
he loved her much more than Harlow though Garbo was only there once while Harlow—maybe
this was like those dreams. Maybe
it isn’t too, he said to himself. Maybe I could reach over and touch that
Maria now,
he said to himself. Maybe you are afraid to he said to himself. Maybe you
would find
out that it never happened and it was not true and it was something you made
up like
those dreams about the people of the cinema or how all your old girls come
back and
sleep in that robe at night on all the bare floors, in the straw of the
haybarns, the stables,
the corrales and the cortijos, the woods, the garages, the trucks and all the
hills of
Spain. They all came to that robe when he was asleep and they were all much
nicer than
they ever had been in life. Maybe it was like that. Maybe you would be afraid
to touch
her to see if it was true. Maybe you would, and probably it is something that
you made
up or that you dreamed. He
took a step across the trail and put his hand on the girl’s arm. Under his
fingers he felt
the smoothness of her arm in the worn khaki. She looked at him and smiled. “Hello,
Maria,” he said. “Hello,
Inglés,” she answered and he saw her tawny brown face and the yellow-gray eyes
and the full lips smiling and the cropped sun-burned hair and she lifted her
face at him
and smiled in his eyes. It was true all right. Now
they were in sight of El Sordo’s camp in the last of the pines, where there
was a rounded
gulch-head shaped like an upturned basin. All these limestone upper basins must
be full of caves, he thought. There are two caves there ahead. The scrub
pines growing
in the rock hide them well. This is as good or a better place than Pablo’s. “How
was this shooting of thy family?” Pilar was saying to Joaquín. “Nothing,
woman,” Joaquín said. “They were of the left as many others in Valladolid. When
the fascists purified the town they shot first the father. He had voted
Socialist. Then
they shot the mother. She had voted the same. It was the first time she had
ever voted.
After that they shot the husband of one of the sisters. He was a member of
the syndicate
of tramway drivers. Clearly he could not drive a tram without belonging to
the syndicate.
But he was without politics. I knew him well. He was even a little hit shameless.
I do not think he was even a good comrade. Then the husband of the other girl,
the other sister, who was also in the trams, had gone to the hills as I had.
They thought
she knew where he was. But she did not. So they shot her because she would not
tell them where he was.” “What
barbarians,” said Pilar. “Where is El Sordo? I do not see him.” “He
is here. He is probably inside,” answered Joaquín and stopping now, and
resting the
rifle butt on the ground, said, “Pilar, listen to me. And thou, Maria.
Forgive me if I have
molested you speaking of things of the family. I know that all have the same troubles
and it is more valuable not to speak of them.” “That
you should speak,” Pilar said. “For what are we born if not to aid one
another? And
to listen and say nothing is a cold enough aid.” “But
it can molest the Maria. She has too many things of her own.” “Qué
va,” Maria said. “Mine are such a big bucket that yours falling in will never
fill it. I am
sorry, Joaquín, and I hope thy sister is well.” “So
far she’s all right,” Joaquín said. “They have her in prison and it seems
they do not mistreat
her much.” “Are
there others in the family?” Robert Jordan asked. “No,”
the boy said. “Me. Nothing more. Except the brother-inlaw who went to the
hills and
I think he is dead.” “Maybe
he is all right,” Maria said. “Maybe he is with a band in other mountains.” “For
me he is dead,” Joaquín said. “He was never too good at getting about and he was
conductor of a tram and that is not the best preparation for the hills. I
doubt if he could
last a year. He was Somewhat weak in the chest too.” “But
he may be all right,” Maria put her arm on his shoulder. “Certainly,
girl. Why not?” said Joaquín. As
the boy stood there, Maria reached up, put her arms around his neck and
kissed him.
Joaquín turned his head away because he was crying. “That
is as a brother,” Maria said to him. “I kiss thee as a brother.” The
boy shook his head, crying without making any noise. “I
am thy sister,” Maria said. “And I love thee and thou hast a family. We are
all thy family.”
“Including
the Inglés,” boomed Pilar. “Isn’t it true, Inglés?” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said to the boy, “we are all thy family, Joaquín.” “He’s
your brother,” Pilar said. “Hey Inglés? ” Robert
Jordan put his arm around the boy’s shoulder. “We are all brothers,” he said.
The
boy shook his head. “I
am ashamed to have spoken,” he said. “To speak of such things makes it more difficult
for all. I am ashamed of molesting you.” “I
obscenity in the milk of my shame,” Pilar said in her deep lovely voice. “And
if the Maria
kisses thee again I will commence kissing thee myself. It’s years since I’ve
kissed a
bullfighter, even an unsuccessful one like thee, I would like to kiss an
unsuccessful bullfighter
turned Communist. Hold him, Inglés, till I get a good kiss at him.” “Deja,”
the boy said and turned away sharply. “Leave me alone. I am all right and I
am ashamed.”
He
stood there, getting his face under control. Maria put her hand in Robert
Jordan’s. Pilar
stood with her hands on her hips looking at the boy mockingly now. “When
I kiss thee,” she said to him, “it will not be as any sister. This trick of
kissing as a
sister.” “It
is not necessary to joke,” the boy said. “I told you I am all right, I am
sorry that I spoke.”
“Well
then let us go and see the old man,” Pilar said. “I tire myself with such
emotion.” The
boy looked at her. From his eyes you could see he was suddenly very hurt. “Not
thy emotion,” Pilar said to him. “Mine. What a tender thing thou art for a bullfighter.”
“I
was a failure,” Joaquín said. “You don’t have to keep insisting on it.” “But
you are growing the pigtail another time.” “Yes,
and why not? Fighting stock serves best for that purpose economically. It
gives employment
to many and the State will control it. And perhaps now I would not be afraid.”
“Perhaps
not,” Pilar said. “Perhaps not.” “Why
do you speak in such a brutal manner, Pilar?” Maria said to her. “I love thee
very much
but thou art acting very barbarous.” “It
is possible that I am barbarous,” Pilar said. “Listen, Inglés. Do you know
what you are
going to say to El Sordo?” “Yes.”
“Because
he is a man of few words unlike me and thee and this sentimental menagerie.”
“Why
do you talk thus?” Maria asked again, angrily. “I
don’t know,” said Pilar as she strode along. “Why do you think?” “I
do not know.” “At
times many things tire me,” Pilar said angrily. “You understand? And one of
them is
to have forty-eight years. You hear me? Forty-eight years and an ugly face.
And another
is to see panic in the face of a failed bullfighter of Communist tendencies
when I say,
as a joke, I might kiss him.” “It’s
not true, Pilar,” the boy said. “You did not see that.” “Qué
va, it’s not true. And I obscenity in the milk of all of you. Ah, there he
is. Hola, Santiago!
Qué tal?” The
man to whom Pilar spoke was short and heavy, brownfaced, with broad cheekbones;
gray haired, with wide-set yellowbrown eyes, a thin-bridged, hooked nose like
an Indian’s, a long Upper lip and a wide, thin mouth. He was clean shaven and
he walked
toward them from the mouth of the cave, moving with the bow-legged walk that went
with his cattle herdsman’s breeches and boots. The day was warm but he had on
a sheep’s-wool-lined
short leather jacket buttoned up to the neck. He put out a big brown hand
toPilar. “Hola, woman,” he said. “Hola,” he said to Robert Jordan and shook
his hand
and looked him keenly in the face. Robert Jordan saw his eyes were yellow as
a cat’s
and flat as reptile’s eyes are. “Guapa,” he said to Maria and patted her
shoulder. “Eaten?”
he asked Pilar. She shook her head. “Eat,”
he said and looked at Robert Jordan. “Drink?” he asked, making a motion with his
hand decanting his thumb downward. “Yes,
thanks.” “Good,”
El Sordo said. “Whiskey?” “You
have whiskey?” El
Sordo nodded. “Inglés?” he asked. “Not Ruso?” “Americano.”
“Few
Americans here,” he said. “Now
more.” “Less
bad. North or South?” “North.”
“Same
as Inglés. When blow bridge?” “You
know about the bridge?” El
Sordo nodded. “Day
after tomorrow morning.” “Good,”
said El Sordo. “Pablo?”
he asked Pilar. She
shook her head. El Sordo grinned. “Go
away,” he said to Maria and grinned again. “Come back,” he looked at a large watch
he pulled out on a leather thong from inside his coat. “Half an hour.” He
motioned to them to sit down on a flattened log that served as a bench and
looking at
Joaquín, jerked his thumb down the trail in the direction they had come from.
“I’ll
walk down with Joaquín and come back,” Maria said. El
Sordo went into the cave and came out with a pinch bottle of Scotch whiskey
and three
glasses. The bottle was under one arm, and three glasses were in the hand of
that arm,
a finger in each glass, and his other hand was around the neck of an
earthenware jar
of water. He put the glasses and the bottle down on the log and set the jug
on the ground.
“No
ice,” he said to Robert Jordan and handed him the bottle. “I
don’t want any,” Pilar said and covered her glass with her hand. “Ice
last night on ground,” El Sordo said and grinned. “All melt. Ice up there,”
El Sordo said
and pointed to the snow that showed on the bare crest of the mountains. “Too
far.” Robert
Jordan started to pour into El Sordo’s glass but the deaf man shook his head and
made a motion for the other to pour for himself. Robert
Jordan poured a big drink of Scotch into the glass and El Sordo watched him eagerly
and when he had finished, handed him the water jug and Robert Jordan filled the
glass with the cold water that ran in a stream from the earthenware spout as
he tipped
up the jug. El
Sordo poured himself half a glassful of whiskey and filled the glass with
water. “Wine?”
he asked Pilar. “No.
Water.” “Take
it,” he said. “No good,” he said to Robert Jordan and grinned. “Knew many English.
Always much whiskey.” “Where?”
“Ranch,”
El Sordo said. “Friends of boss.” “Where
do you get the whiskey?” “What?”
he could not hear. “You
have to shout,” Pilar said. “Into the other ear.” El
Sordo pointed to his better ear and grinned. “Where
do you get the whiskey?” Robert Jordan shouted. “Make
it,” El Sordo said and watched Robert Jordan’s hand check on its way to his mouth
with the glass. “No,”
El Sordo said and patted his shoulder. “Joke. Comes from La Granja. Heard
last night
comes English dynamiter. Good. Very happy. Get whiskey. For you. You like?” “Very
much,” said Robert Jordan. “It’s very good whiskey.” “Am
contented,” Sordo grinned. “Was bringing tonight with information” “What
information?” Much
troop movement.” Where?
“Segovia.
Planes you saw.” “Yes.”
“Bad,
eh?” “Bad.”
“Troop
movement?” “Much
between Villacastín and Segovia. On Valladolid road. Much between Villacastín
and
San Rafael. Much. Much.” “What
do you think?” “We
prepare something?” “Possibly.”
“They
know. Prepare too.” “It
is possible.” “Why
not blow bridge tonight?” “Orders.”
“Whose
orders?” “General
Staff.” “So.”
“Is
the time of the blowing important?” Pilar asked. “Of
all importance.” “But
if they are moving up troops?” “I
will send Anselmo with a report of all movement and concentrations. He is
checking the
road.” “You
have some one at road?” Sordo asked. Robert
Jordan did not know how much he had heard. You never know with a deaf man.
“Yes,”
he said. “Me,
too. Why not blow bridge now?” “I have my orders.” “I
don’t like it,” El Sordo said. “This I do not like.” “Nor
I,” said Robert Jordan. El
Sordo shook his head and took a sip of the whiskey. “You want of me?” “How
many men have you?” “Eight.”
“To
cut the telephone, attack the post at the house of the roadmenders, take it,
and fall back
on the bridge.” “It
is easy.” “It
will all be written out.” “Don’t
trouble. And Pablo?” “Will
cut the telephone below, attack the post at the sawmill, take it and fall
back on the
bridge.” “And
afterwards for the retreat?” Pilar asked. “We are seven men, two women and
five horses.
You are,” she shouted into Sordo’s ear. “Eight
men and four horses. Faltan caballos,” he said. “Lacks horses.” “Seventeen
people and nine horses,” Pilar said. “Without accounting for transport.” Sordo
said nothing. “There
is no way of getting horses?” Robert Jordan said into Sordo’s best ear. “In
war a year,” Sordo said. “Have four.” He showed four fingers. “Now you want
eight for
tomorrow.” “Yes,”
said Robert Jordan. “Knowing you are leaving. Having no need to be careful as
you
have been in this neighborhood. Not having to be cautious here now. You could
not cut
out and steal eight head of horses?” “Maybe,”
Sordo said. “Maybe none. Maybe more.” “You
have an automatic rifle?” Robert Jordan asked. Sordo
nodded. “Where?”
“Up
the hill.” “What
kind?” “Don’t
know name. With pans.” “How
many rounds?” “Five
pans.” “Does
any one know how to use it?” “Me.
A little. Not shoot too much. Not want make noise here. Not want use
cartridges.” “I
will look at it afterwards,” Robert Jordan said. “Have you hand grenades?” Plenty.
“How
many rounds per rifle?” “Plenty.”
“How
many?” “One
hundred fifty. More maybe.” “What
about other people?” “For
what?” “To
have sufficient force to take the posts and cover the bridge While I am
blowing it. We
should have double what we have.” “Take
posts don’t worry. What time day?” “Daylight.”
“Don’t
worry.” “I
could use twenty more men, to be sure,” Robert Jordan said. “Good
ones do not exist. You want undependables?” “No.
How many good ones?” “Maybe
four.” “Why
so few?” “No
trust.” “For
horseholders?” “Must trust much to be horseholders.” “I’d
like ten more good men if I could get them.” “Four.”
“Anselmo
told me there were over a hundred here in these hills.” “No
good.” “You
said thirty,” Robert Jordan said to Pilar. “Thirty of a certain degree of dependability.”
“What
about the people of Elias?” Pilar shouted to Sordo. He shook his head. “No
good.” “You
can’t get ten?” Robert Jordan asked. Sordo looked at him with his flat,
yellow eyes
and shook his head. “Four,”
he said and held up four fingers. “Yours
are good?” Robert Jordan asked, regretting it as he said it. Sordo
nodded. “Dentro
de la gravedad,” he said in Spanish. “Within the limits of the danger.” He grinned.
“Will be bad, eh?” “Possibly.”
“Is
the same to me,” Sordo said simply and not boasting. “Better four good than
much bad.
In this war always much bad, very little good. Every day fewer good. And
Pablo?” he
looked at Pilar. “As
you know,” Pilar said. “Worse every day.” Sordo
shrugged his shoulders. “Take
drink,” Sordo said to Robert Jordan. “I bring mine and four more. Makes
twelve. Tonight
we discuss all. I have sixty sticks dynamite. You want?” “What
per cent?” “Don’t
know. Common dynamite. I bring.” “We’ll
blow the small bridge above with that,” Robert Jordan said. “That is fine.
You’ll come
down tonight? Bring that, will you? I’ve no orders for that but it should be
blown.” “I
come tonight. Then hunt horses.” “What
chance for horses?” “Maybe.
Now eat.” Does
he talk that way to every one? Robert Jordan thought. Or is that his idea of
how to
make foreigners understand? “And
where are we going to go when this is done?” Pilar shouted into Sordo’s ear. He
shrugged his shoulders. “All
that must be arranged,” the woman said. “Of
course,” said Sordo. “Why not?” “It
is bad enough,” Pilar said. “It must be planned very well.” “Yes,
woman,” Sordo said. “What has thee worried?” “Everything,”
Pilar shouted. Sordo
grinned at her. “You’ve
been going about with Pablo,” he said. So
he does only speak that pidgin Spanish for foreigners, Robert Jordan thought.
Good.
I’m glad to hear him talking straight. “Where
do you think we should go?” Pilar asked. “Where?”
“Yes,
where?” “There
are many places,” Sordo said. “Many places. You know Gredos?” “There
are many people there. All these places will be cleaned up as soon as they have
time.” “Yes.
But it is a big country and very wild.” “It
would be very difficult to get there,” Pilar said. “Everything
is difficult,” El Sordo said. “We can get to Gredos as well as to anywhere else.
Travelling at night. Here it is very dangerous now. It is a miracle we have
been here
this long. Gredos is safer country than this.” “Do you know where I want to go?” Pilar
asked him. “Where?
The Paramera? That’s no good.” “No,”
Pilar said. “Not the Sierra de Paramera. I want to go to the Republic.” “That
is possible.” “Would
your people go?” “Yes.
If I say to.” “Of
mine, I do not know,” Pilar said. “Pablo would not want to although, truly,
he might feel
safer there. He is too old to have to go for a soldier unless they call more
classes. The
gypsy will not wish to go. I do not know about the others.” “Because
nothing passes her for so long they do not realize the danger,” El Sordo said.
“Since
the planes today they will see it more,” Robert Jordan said. “But I should
think you
could operate very well from the Gredos.” “What?”
El Sordo said and looked at him with his eyes very flat. There was no friendliness
in the way he asked the question. “You
could raid more effectively from there,” Robert Jordan said. “So,”
El Sordo said. “You know Gredos?” “Yes.
You could operate against the main line of the railway from there. You could keep
cutting it as we are doing farther south in Estremadura. To operate from there
would
be better than returning to the Republic,” Robert Jordan said. “You are more useful
there.” They
had both gotten sullen as he talked. Sordo
looked at Pilar and she looked back at him. “You
know Gredos?” Sordo asked. “Truly?” “Sure,”
said Robert Jordan. “Where
would you go?” “Above
Barco de Avila. Better places than here. Raid against the main road and the railroad
between Béjar and Plasencia.” “Very
difficult,” Sordo said. “We
have worked against that same railroad in much more dangerous country in Estremadura,”
Robert Jordan said. “Who
is we?” “The
guerrilleros group of Estremadura.” “You
are many?” “About
forty.” “Was
the one with the bad nerves and the strange name from there?” asked Pilar. “Yes.”
“Where
is he now?” “Dead,
as I told you.” “You
are from there, too?” “Yes.”
“You
see what I mean?” Pilar said to him. And
I have made a mistake, Robert Jordan thought to himself. I have told
Spaniards we
can do something better than they can when the rule is never to speak of your
own exploits
or abilities. When I should have flattered them I have told them what I think
they should
do and now they are furious. Well, they will either get over it or they will
not. They are
certainly much more useful in the Gredos than here. The proof is that here
they have
done nothing since the train that Kashkin organized. It was not much of a
show. It cost
the fascists one engine and killed a few troops but they all talk as though
it were the high
point of the war. Maybe they will shame into going to the Gredos. Yes and
maybe I will
get thrown out of here too. Well, it is not a very rosy-looking dish anyway
that you look
into it. “Listen
Inglés,” Pilar said to him. “How are your nerves?” “All
right,” said Robert Jordan. “O.K.” “Because
the last dynamiter they sent to work with us, although a formidable technician,
was very nervous.” “We
have nervous ones,” Robert Jordan said. “I
do not say that he was a coward because he comported himself very well,”
Pilar went
on. “But he spoke in a very rare and windy way.” She raised her voice. “Isn’t
it true, Santiago,
that the last dynamiter, he of the train, was a little rare?” “Algo
raro,” the deaf man nodded and his eyes went over Robert Jordan’s face in a way
that reminded him of the round opening at the end of the wand of a vacuum cleaner.
“Si, algo raro, pero bueno.” “Murió,”
Robert Jordan said into the deaf man’s ear. “He is dead.” “How
was that?” the deaf man asked, dropping his eyes down from Robert Jordan’s eyes
to his lips. “I
shot him,” Robert Jordan said. “He was too badly wounded to travel and I shot
him.” “He
was always talking of such a necessity,” Pilar said. “It was his obsession.” “Yes,”
said Robert Jordan. “He was always talking of such a necessity and it was his
obsession.”
“Como
fué?” the deaf man asked. “Was it a train?” “It
was returning from a train,” Robert Jordan said. “The train was successful. Returning
in the dark we encountered a fascist patrol and as we ran he was shot high in
the
back but without hitting any bone except the shoulder blade. He travelled
quite a long
way, but with the wound was unable to travel more. He was unwilling to be
left behind
and I shot him.” “Menos
mal,” said El Sordo. “Less bad.” “Are
you sure your nerves are all right?” Pilar said to Robert Jordan. “Yes,”
he told her. “I am sure that my nerves are all right and I think that when we
terminate
this of the bridge you would do well to go to the Gredos.” As
he said that, the woman started to curse in a flood of obscene invective that
rolled over
and around him like the hot white water splashing down from the sudden
eruption of
a geyser. The
deaf man shook his head at Robert Jordan and grinned in delight. He continued
to
shake his head happily as Pilar went on vilifying and Robert Jordan knew that
it was all
right again now. Finally she stopped cursing, reached for the water jug,
tipped it up and
took a drink and said, calmly, “Then just shut up about what we are to do afterwards,
will you, Inglés? You go back to the Republic and you take your piece with you
and leave us others alone here to decide what part of these hills we’ll die
in.” “Live
in,” El Sordo said. “Calm thyself, Pilar.” “Live
in and die in,” Pilar said. “I can see the end of it well enough. I like
thee, Inglés, but
keep thy mouth off of what we must do when thy business is finished.” “It
is thy business,” Robert Jordan said. “I do not put my hand in it.” “But
you did,” Pilar said. “Take thy little cropped-headed whore and go back to
the Republic
but do not shut the door on others who are not foreigners and who loved the Republic
when thou wert wiping thy mother’s milk off thy chin.” Maria
had come up the trail while they were talking and she heard this last
sentence which
Pilar, raising her voice again, shouted at Robert Jordan. Maria shook her
head at Robert
Jordan violently and shook her finger warningly. Pilar saw Robert Jordan
looking at
the girl and saw him smile and she turned and said, “Yes. I said whore and I
mean it. And
I suppose that you’ll go to Valencia together and we can eat goat crut in
Gredos.” “I’m
a whore if thee wishes, Pilar,” Maria said. “I suppose I am in all case if
you say so. But
calm thyself. What passes with thee?” “Nothing,”
Pilar said and sat down on the bench, her voice calm now and all the metallic
rage gone out of it. “I do not call thee that. But I have such a desire to go
to the Republic.”
“We
can all go,” Maria said. “Why
not?” Robert Jordan said. “Since thou seemest not to love the Gredos.” Sordo
grinned at him. “We’ll
see,” Pilar said, her rage gone now. “Give me a glass of that rare drink. I
have worn
my throat out with anger. We’ll see. We’ll see what happens.” “You
see, Comrade,” El Sordo explained. “It is the morning that is difficult.” He
was not talking
the pidgin Spanish now and he was looking into Robert Jordan’s eyes calmly
and explainingly;
not searchingly nor suspiciously, nor with the flat superiority of the old campaigner
that had been in them before. “I understand your needs and I know the posts
must be exterminated and the bridge covered while you do your work. This I understand
perfectly. This is easy to do before daylight or at daylight.” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. “Run along a minute, will you?” he said to Maria without looking
at her. The
girl walked away out of hearing and sat down, her hands clasped over her
ankles. “You
see,” Sordo said. “In that there is no problem. But to leave afterward and
get out of
this country in daylight presents a grave problem” “Clearly,”
said Robert Jordan. “I have thought of it. It is daylight for me also.” “But
you are one,” El Sordo said. “We are various.” “There
is the possibility of returning to the camps and leaving from there at dark,”
Pilar said,
putting the glass to her lips and then lowering it. “That
is very dangerous, too,” El Sordo explained. “That is perhaps even more dangerous.”
“I
can see how it would be,” Robert Jordan said. “To
do the bridge in the night would be easy,” El Sordo said. “Since you make the
condition
that it must be done at daylight, it brings grave consequences.” “I
know it.” “You
could not do it at night?” “I
would be shot for it.” “It
is very possible we will all be shot for it if you do it in the daytime.” “For
me myself that is less important once the bridge is blown,” Robert Jordan
said. “But
I see your viewpoint. You cannot work Out a retreat for daylight?” “Certainly,”
El Sordo said. “We will work out such a retreat. But I explain to you why one
is preoccupied and why one is irritated. You speak of going to Gredos as
though it were
a military manceuvre to be accomplished. To arrive at Gredos would be a
miracle.” Robert
Jordan said nothing. “Listen
to me,” the deaf man said. “I am speaking much. But it is so we may understand
one another. We exist here by a miracle. By a mixacle of laziness and stupidity
of the fascists which they will remedy in time. Of course we are very careful
and
we make no disturbance in these hills.” “I
know.” “But
now, with this, we must go. We must think much about the manner of our
going.” “Clearly.”
“Then,”
said El Sordo. “Let us eat now. I have talked much.” “Never
have I heard thee talk so much,” Pilar said. “Is it this?” she held up the
glass. “No,”
El Sordo shook his head. “It isn’t whiskey. It is that never have I had so
much to talk
of.” “I
appreciate your aid and your loyalty,” Robert Jordan said. “I appreciate the
difficulty caused
by the timing of the blowing of the bridge.” “Don’t
talk of that,” El Sordo said. “We are here to do what we can do. But this is complicated.”
“And
on paper very simple,” Robert Jordan grinned. “On paper the bridge is blown at
the
moment the attack starts in order that nothing shall come up the road. It is
very simple.”
“That
they should let us do something on paper,” El Sordo said. “That we should conceive
and execute something on paper.” “Paper
bleeds little,” Robert Jordan quoted the proverb. “But
it is very useful,” Pilar said. “Es muy util. What I would like to do is use
thy orders for
that purpose.” “Me
too,” said Robert Jordan. “But you could never win a war like that.” “No,” the big woman said. “I suppose not.
But do you know what I would like?” “To
go to the Republic,” El Sordo said. He had put his good ear close to her as
she spoke.
“Ya irás, mujer. Let us win this and it will all be Republic.” “All
right,” Pilar said. “And now, for God’s sake let us eat.” 12 They left El Sordo’s after eating and
started down the trail. El Sordo had walked with them
as far as the lower post. “Salud,”
he said. “Until tonight.” “Salud,
Camarada,” Robert Jordan had said to him and the three of them had gone on down
the trail, the deaf man standing looking after them. Maria had turned and
waved her
hand at him and El Sordo waved disparagingly with the abrupt, Spanish upward
flick of
the forearm as though something were being tossed away which seems the
negation of
all salutation which has not to do with business. Through the meal he had
never unbuttoned
his sheepskin coat and he had been carefully polite, careful to turn his head
to
hear and had returned to speaking his broken Spanish, asking Robert Jordan
about conditions
in the Republic politely; but it was obvious he wanted to be rid of them. As
they had left him, Pilar had said to him, “Well, Santiago?” “Well,
nothing, woman,” the deaf man said. “It is all right. But I am thinking.” “Me,
too,” Pilar had said and now as they walked down the trail, the walking easy
and pleasant
down the steep trail through the pines that they had toiled up, Pilar said nothing.
Neither Robert Jordan nor Maria spoke and the three of them travelled along fast
until the trail rose steeply out of the wooded valley to come up through the
timber, leave
it, and come out into the high meadow. It
was hot in the late May afternoon and halfway up this last steep grade the
woman stopped.
Robert Jordan, stopping and looking back, saw the sweat beading on her forehead.
He thought her brown face looked pallid and the skin sallow and that there were
dark areas under her eyes. “Let
us rest a minute,” he said. “We go too fast.” “No,”
she said. “Let us go on.” “Rest,
Pilar,” Maria said. “You look badly.” “Shut
up,” the woman said. “Nobody asked for thy advice.” She
started on up the trail but at the top she was breathing heavily and her face
was wet
with perspiration and there was no doubt about her pallor now. “Sit
down, Pilar,” Maria said. “Please, please sit down.” “All
right,” said Pilar and the three of them sat down under a pine tree and
looked across
the mountain meadow to where the tops of the peaks seemed to jut out from the
roll
of the high country with snow shining bright on them now in the early
afternoon sun. “What
rotten stuff is the snow and how beautiful it looks,” Pilar said. “What an
illusion is
the snow.” She turned to Maria. “I am sorry I was rude to thee, guapa. I
don’t know what
has held me today. I have an evil temper.” “I
never mind what you say when you are angry,” Maria told her. “And you are
angry often.”
“Nay,
it is worse than anger,” Pilar said, looking across at the peaks. “Thou
art not well,” Maria said. “Neither
is it that,” the woman said. “Come here, guapa, and put thy head in my lap.” Maria
moved close to her, put her arms out and folded them as One does who goes to sleep
without a pillow and lay with her head on her arms. She turned her face up at
Pilar and
smiled at her but the big woman looked on across the meadow at the mountains.
She
stroked the girl’s head without looking down at her and ran a blunt finger
across the girl’s
forehead and then around the line of her ear and down the line where the hair
grew on
her neck. “You
can have her in a little while, Inglés,” she said. Robert Jordan was sitting
behind her.
“Do not talk like that,” Maria said. “Yes,
he can have thee,” Pilar said and looked at neither of them. “I have never wanted
thee. But I am jealous.” “Pilar,”
Maria said. “Do not talk thus.” “He
can have thee,” Pilar said and ran her finger around the lobe of the girl’s
ear. “But I
am very jealous.” “But
Pilar,” Maria said. “It was thee explained to me there was nothing like that between
us.” “There
is always something like that,” the woman said. “There is always something like
something that there should not be. But with me there is not. Truly there is
not. I want
thy happiness and nothing more.” Maria
said nothing but lay there, trying to make her head rest lightly. “Listen,
guapa,” said Pilar and ran her finger now absently but tracingly over the contours
of her cheeks. “Listen, guapa, I love thee and he can have thee, I am no tortillera
but a woman made for men. That is true. But now it gives me pleasure to say thus,
in the daytime, that I care for thee.” “I
love thee, too.” “Qué
va. Do not talk nonsense. Thou dost not know even of what I speak.” “I
know.” “Qué
va, that you know. You are for the Inglés. That is seen and as it should be.
That I would
have. Anything else I would not have. I do not make perversions. I only tell
you something
true. Few people will ever talk to thee truly and no women. I am jealous and say
it and it is there. And I say it.” “Do
not say it,” Maria said. “Do not say it, Pilar.” “Por
qué, do not say it,” the woman said, still not looking at either of them. “I
will say it until
it no longer pleases me to say it. And,” she looked down at the girl now,
“that time has
come already. I do not say it more, you understand?” “Pilar,”
Maria said. “Do not talk thus.” “Thou
art a very pleasant little rabbit,” Pilar said. “And lift thy head now
because this silliness
is over.” “It
was not silly,” said Maria. “And my head is well where it is.” “Nay.
Lift it,” Pilar told her and put her big hands under the girl’s head and
raised it. “And
thou, Inglés?” she said, still holding the girl’s head as she looked across
at the mountains.
“What cat has eaten thy tongue?” “No
cat,” Robert Jordan said. “What
animal then?” She laid the girl’s head down on the ground. “No
animal,” Robert Jordan told her. “You
swallowed it yourself, eh?” “I
guess so,” Robert Jordan said. “And
did you like the taste?” Pilar turned now and grinned at him. “Not
much.” “I
thought not,” Pilar said. “I thought not. But I give you back our rabbit. Nor
ever did I try
to take your rabbit. That’s a good name for her. I heard you call her that
this morning.”
Robert
Jordan felt his face redden. “You
are a very hard woman,” he told her. “No,”
Pilar said. “But so simple I am very complicated. Are you very complicated, Inglés?”
“No.
Nor not so simple.” “You
please me, Inglés,” Pilar said. Then she smiled and leaned forward and smiled
and
shook her head. “Now if I could take the rabbit from thee and take thee from
the rabbit.”
“You
could not.” “I
know it,” Pilar said and smiled again. “Nor would I wish to. But when I was
young I could
have.” “I believe it.” “You
believe it?” “Surely,”
Robert Jordan said. “But such talk is nonsense.” “It
is not like thee,” Maria said. “I
am not much like myself today,” Pilar said. “Very little like myself. Thy
bridge has given
me a headache, Inglés.” “We
can tell it the Headache Bridge,” Robert Jordan said. “But I will drop it in
that gorge
like a broken bird cage.” “Good,”
said Pilar. “Keep on talking like that.” “I’ll
drop it as you break a banana from which you have removed the skin.” “I
could eat a banana now,” said Pilar. “Go on, Inglés. Keep on talking
largely.” “There
is no need,” Robert Jordan said. “Let us get to camp.” “Thy
duty,” Pilar said. “It will come quickly enough. I said that I would leave
the two of you.”
“No.
I have much to do.” “That
is much too and does not take long.” “Shut
thy mouth, Pilar,” Maria said. “You speak grossly.” “I
am gross,” Pilar said. “But I am also very delicate. Soy muy delicada. I will
leave the two
of you. And the talk of jealousness is nonsense. I was angry at Joaquín
because I saw
from his look how ugly I am. I am only jealous that you are nineteen. It is
not a jealousy
which lasts. You will not be nineteen always. Now I go.” She
stood up and with a hand on one hip looked at Robert Jordan, who was also standing.
Maria sat on the ground under the tree, her head dropped forward. “Let
us all go to camp together,” Robert Jordan said. “It is better and there is
much to do.”
Pilar
nodded with her head toward Maria, who sat there, her head turned away from them,
saying nothing. Pilar
smiled and shrugged her shoulders almost imperceptibly and said, “You know the
way?” “I
know it,” Maria said, not raising her head. “Pues
me voy,” Pilar said. “Then I am going. We’ll have something hearty for you to
eat,
Inglés.” She
started to walk off into the heather of the meadow toward the stream that led
down
through it toward the camp. “Wait,”
Robert Jordan called to her. “It is better that we should all go together.” Maria
sat there and said nothing. Pilar
did not turn. “Qué
va, go together,” she said. “I will see thee at the camp.” Robert
Jordan stood there. “Is
she all right?” he asked Maria. “She looked ill before.” “Let
her go,” Maria said, her head still down. “I
think I should go with her.” “Let
her go,” said Maria. “Let her go!” They
were walking through the heather of the mountain meadow and Robert Jordan felt
the brushing of the heather against his legs, felt the weight of his pistol
in its holster against
his thigh, felt the sun on his head, felt the breeze from the snow of the
mountain peaks
cool on his back and, in his hand, he felt the girl’s hand firm and strong,
the fingers
locked in his. From it, from the palm of her hand against the palm of his,
from their
fingers locked together, and from her wrist across his wrist something came
from her
hand, her fingers and her wrist to his that was as fresh as the first light
air that moving
toward you over the sea barely wrinkles the glassy surface of a calm, as
light as a
feather moved across one’s lip, or a leaf falling when there is no breeze; so
light that it could
be felt with the touch of their fingers alone, but that was so strengthened,
so intensified,
and made so urgent, so aching and so strong by the hard pressure of their fingers
and the close pressed palm and wrist, that it was as though a current moved
up his
arm and filled his whole body with an aching hollowness of wanting. With the
sun shining
on her hair, tawny as wheat, and on her gold-brown smooth-lovely face and on the
curve of her throat he bent her head back and held her to him and kissed her.
He felt her
trembling as he kissed her and he held the length of her body tight to him
and felt her
breasts against his chest through the two khaki shirts, he felt them small
and firm and
he reached and undid the buttons on her shirt and bent and kissed her and she
stood
shivering, holding her head back, his arm behind her. Then she dropped her
chin to
his head and then he felt her hands holding his head and rocking it against
her. He straightened
and with his two arms around her held her so tightly that she was lifted off the
ground, tight against him, and he felt her trembling and then her lips were
on his throat,
and then he put her down and said, “Maria, oh, my Maria.” Then
he said, “Where should we go?” She
did not say anything but slipped her hand inside of his shirt and he felt her
undoing
the shirt buttons and she said, “You, too. I want to kiss, too.” “No,
little rabbit.” “Yes.
Yes. Everything as you.” “Nay.
That is an impossibility.” “Well,
then. Oh, then. Oh, then. Oh.” Then
there was the smell of heather crushed and the roughness of the bent stalks under
her head and the sun bright on her closed eyes and all his life he would remember
the curve of her throat with her head pushed back into the heather roots and her
lips that moved smally and by themselves and the fluttering of the lashes on
the eyes
tight closed against the sun and against everything, and for her everything
was red,
orange, gold-red from the sun on the closed eyes, and it all was that color,
all of it, the
filling, the possessing, the having, all of that color, all in a blindness of
that color. For him
it was a dark passage which led to nowhere, then to nowhere, then again to nowhere,
once again to nowhere, always and forever to nowhere, heavy on the elbows in
the earth to nowhere, dark, never any end to nowhere, hung on all time always
to unknowing
nowhere, this time and again for always to nowhere, now not to be borne once
again always and to nowhere, now beyond all bearing up, up, up and into nowhere,
suddenly, scaldingly, holdingly all nowhere gone and time absolutely still
and they
were both there, time having stopped and he felt the earth move out and away
from under
them. Then
he was lying on his side, his head deep in the heather, smelling it and the
smell of
the roots and the earth and the sun came through it and it was scratchy on
his bare shoulders
and along his flanks and the girl was lying opposite him with her eyes still
shut and
then she opened them and smiled at him and he said very tiredly and from a
great but
friendly distance, “Hello, rabbit.” And she smiled and from no distance said,
“Hello, my
Inglés.” “I’m
not an Inglés,” he said very lazily. “Oh
yes, you are,” she said. “You’re my Inglés,” and reached and took hold of
both his ears
and kissed him on the forehead. “There,”
she said. “How is that? Do I kiss thee better?” Then
they were walking along the stream together and he said, “Maria, I love thee
and thou
art so lovely and so wonderful and so beautiful and it does such things to me
to be with
thee that I feel as though I wanted to die when I am loving thee.” “Oh,”
she said. “I die each time. Do you not die?” “No.
Almost. But did thee feel the earth move?” “Yes.
As I died. Put thy arm around me, please.” “No.
I have thy hand. Thy hand is enough.” He
looked at her and across the meadow where a hawk was hunting and the big afternoon
clouds were coming now over the mountains. “And
it is not thus for thee with others?” Maria asked him, they now walking hand
in hand.
“No.
Truly.” “Thou hast loved many others.” “Some.
But not as thee.” “And
it was not thus? Truly?” “It
was a pleasure but it was not thus.” “And
then the earth moved. The earth never moved before?” “Nay.
Truly never.” “Ay,”
she said. “And this we have for one day.” He
said nothing. “But
we have had it now at least,” Maria said. “And do you like me too? Do I
please thee?
I will look better later.” “Thou
art very beautiful now.” “Nay,”
she said. “But stroke thy hand across my head.” He
did that feeling her cropped hair soft and flattening and then rising between
his fingers
and he put both hands on her head and turned her face up to his and kissed
her. “I
like to kiss very much,” she said. “But I do not do it well.” “Thou
hast no need to kiss.” “Yes,
I have. If I am to be thy woman I should please thee in all ways.” “You
please me enough. I would not be more pleased. There is no thing I could do
if I were
more pleased.” “But
you will see,” she said very happily. “My hair amuses thee now because it is
odd. But
every day it is growing. It will be long and then I will not look ugly and
perhaps you will
love me very much.” “Thou
hast a lovely body,” he said. “The loveliest in the world.” “It
is only young and thin.” “No.
In a fine body there is magic. I do not know what makes it in one and not in another.
But thou hast it.” “For
thee,” she said. “Nay.”
“Yes.
For thee and for thee always and only for thee. But it is littie to bring
thee. I would
learn to take good care of thee. But tell me truly. Did the earth never move
for thee
before?” “Never,”
he said truly. “Now
am I happy,” she said. “Now am I truly happy. “You
are thinking of something else now?” she asked him. “Yes.
My work.” “I
wish we had horses to ride,” Maria said. “In my happiness I would like to be
on a good
horse and ride fast with thee riding fast beside me and we would ride faster
and faster,
galloping, and never pass my happiness.” “We
could take thy happiness in a plane,” he said absently. “And
go over and over in the sky like the little pursuit planes shining in the
sun,” she said.
“Rolling it in loops and in dives. Qué bueno!” she laughed. “My happiness
would not
even notice it.” “Thy
happiness has a good stomach,” he said half hearing what she said. Because
now he was not there. He was walking beside her but his mind was thinking of
the problem of the bridge now and it was all clear and hard and sharp as when
a camera
lens is brought into focus. He saw the two posts and Anselmo and the gypsy watching.
He saw the road empty and he saw movement on it. He saw where he would place
the two automatic rifles to get the most level field of fire, and who will
serve them, he
thought, me at the end, but who at the start? He placed the charges, wedged
and lashed
them, sunk his caps and crimped them, ran his wires, hooked them up and got back
to where he had placed the old box of the exploder and then he started to
think of all
the things that could have happened and that might go wrong. Stop it, he told
himself. You
have made love to this girl and now your head is clear, properly clear, and
you start to
worry. It is one thing to think you must do and it is another thing to worry.
Don’t worry. You
mustn’t worry. You know the things that you may have to do and you know what may
happen. Certainly it may happen. You
went into it knowing what you were fighting for. You were fighting against
exactly what
you were doing and being forced into doing to have any chance of winning. So now
he was compelled to use these people whom he liked as you should use troops toward
whom you have no feeling at all if you were to be successful. Pablo was evidently
the smartest. He knew how bad it was instantly. The woman was all for it, and
still
was; but the realization of what it really consisted in had overcome her
steadily and it
had done plenty to her already. Sordo recognized it instantly and would do it
but he did not
like it any more than he, Robert Jordan, liked it. So
you say that it is not that which will happen to yourself but that which may
happen to
the woman and the girl and to the others that you think of. All right. What
would have happened
to them if you had not come? What happened to them and what passed with them
before you were ever here? You must not think in that way. You have no responsibility
for them except in action. The orders do not come from you. They come from
Golz. And who is Golz? A good general. The best you’ve ever served under. But
should
a man carry out impossible orders knowing what they lead to? Even though they
come
from Golz, who is the party as well as the army? Yes. He should carry them
out because
it is only in the performing of them that they can prove to be impossible.
How do
you know they are impossible until you have tried them? If every one said
orders were
impossible to carry out when they were received where Would you be? Where would
we all be if you just said, “Impossible,” when orders came? He
had seen enough of commanders to whom all orders were impossible. That swine Gomez
in Estremadura. He had seen enough attacks when the flanks did not advance because
it was impossible. No, he would carry out the orders and it was bad luck that
you
liked the people you must do it with. In
all the work that they, the partizans, did, they brought added danger and bad
luck to the
people that sheltered them and worked with them. For what? So that,
eventually, there
should be no more danger and so that the country should be a good place to live
in.
That was true no matter how trite it sounded. If
the Republic lost it would be impossible for those who believed in it to live
in Spain. But
would it? Yes, he knew that it would be, from the things that happened in the
parts the
fascists had already taken. Pablo
was a swine but the others were fine people and was it not a betrayal of them
all
to get them to do this? Perhaps it was. But if they did not do it two
squadrons of cavalry
would come and hunt them out of these hills in a week. No.
There was nothing to be gained by leaving them alone. Except that all people should
be left alone and you should interfere with no one. So he believed that, did
he? Yes,
he believed that. And what about a planned society and the rest of it? That was
for the
others to do. He had something else to do after this war. He fought now in
this war because
it had started in a country that he loved and he believed in the Republic and
that
if it were destroyed life would be unbearable for all those people who
believed in it. He
was under Communist discipline for the duration of the war. Here in Spain the
Communists
offered the best discipline and the soundest and sanest for the prosecution of
the war. He accepted their discipline for the duration of the war because, in
the conduct
of the war, they were the only party whose program and whose discipline he could
respect. What
were his politics then? He had none now, he told himself. But do not tell any
one else
that, he thought. Don’t ever admit that. And what are you going to do
afterwards? I am
going back and earn my living teaching Spanish as before, and I am going to
write a true
book. I’ll bet, he said. I’ll bet that will be easy. He
would have to talk with Pablo about politics. It would certainly be
interesting to see what
his political development had been. The classical move from left to right,
probably; like
old Lerroux. Pablo was quite a lot like Lerroux. Prieto was as bad. Pablo and
Prieto had
about an equal faith in the ultimate victory. They all had the politics of
horse thieves. He
believed in the Republic as a form of government but the Republic would have
to get rid
of all of that bunch of horse thieves that brought it to the pass it was in
when the rebellion
started. Was there ever a people whose leaders were as truly their enemies as
this
one? Enemies
of the people. That was a phrase he might omit. That was a catch phrase he would
skip. That was one thing that sleeping with Maria had done. He had gotten to
be as
bigoted and hidebound about his politics as a hard-shelled Baptist and
phrases like enemies
of the people came into his mind without his much criticizing them in any
way. Any
sort of clichés both revolutionary and patriotic. His mind employed them
without criticism.
Of course they were true but it was too easy to be nimble about using them. But
since last night and this afternoon his mind was much clearer and cleaner on
that business.
Bigotry is an odd thing. To be bigoted you have to be absolutely sure that
you are
right and nothing makes that surety and righteousness like continence.
Continence is
the foe of heresy. How
would that premise stand up if he examined it? That was probably why the Communists
were always cracking down on Bohemianism. When you were drunk or when
you committed either fornication or adultery you recognized your own personal
fallibility
of that so mutable substitute for the apostles’ creed, the party line. Down
with Bohemianism,
the sin of Mayakovsky. But
Mayakovsky was a saint again. That was because he was safely dead. You’ll be safely
dead yourself, he told himself. Now stop thinking that sort of thing. Think
about Maria.
Maria
was very hard on his bigotry. So far she had not affected his resolution but
he would
much prefer not to die. He would abandon a hero’s or a martyr’s end gladly.
He did
not want to make a Thermopylae, nor be Horatius at any bridge, nor be the
Dutch boy
With his finger in that dyke. No. He would like to spend some time With
Maria. That was
the simplest expression of it. He would like to spend a long, long time with
her. He
did not believe there was ever going to be any such thing as a long time any
more but
if there ever was such a thing he would like to spend it with her. We could
go into the hotel
and register as Doctor and Mrs. Livingstone I presume, he thought. Why
not marry her? Sure, he thought. I will marry her. Then we will be Mt and
Mrs. Robert
Jordan of Sun Valley, Idaho. Or Corpus Christi, Texas, or Butte, Montana. Spanish
girls make wonderful wives. I’ve never had one so I know. And when I get my job
back at the university she can be an instructor’s wife and when
undergraduates who take
Spanish IV come in to smoke pipes in the evening and have those so valuable informal
discussions about Quevedo, Lope de Vega, Galdós and the other always admirable
dead, Maria can tell them about how some of the blue-shirted crusaders for the
true faith sat on her head while others twisted her arms and pulled her
skirts up and stuffed
them in her mouth. I
wonder how they will like Maria in Missoula, Montana? That is if I can get a
job back in
Missoula. I suppose that I am ticketed as a Red there now for good and will
be on the general
blacklist. Though you never know. You never can tell. They’ve no proof of
what you
do, and as a matter of fact they would never believe it if you told them, and
my passport
was valid for Spain before they issued the restrictions. The
time for getting back will not be until the fall of thirtyseven. I left in
the summer of thirty-six
and though the leave is for a year you do not need to be back until the fall
term opens
in the following year. There is a lot of time between now and the fall term.
There is
a lot of time between now and day after tomorrow if you want to put it that
way. No. I think
there is no need to worry about the university. Just you turn up there in the
fall and it
will be all right. Just try and turn up there. But
it has been a strange life for a long time now. Damned if it hasn’t. Spain
was your work
and your job, so being in Spain was natural and sound. You had worked summers
on
engineering projects and in the forest service building roads and in the park
and learned
to handle powder, so the demolition was a sound and normal job too. Always a little
hasty, but sound. Once
you accept the idea of demolition as a problem it is only a problem. But
there was
plenty that was not so good that went with it although God knows you took it
easily enough.
There was the constant attempt to approximate the conditions of successful assassination
that accompanied the demolition. Did big words make it more defensible? Did
they make killing any more palatable? You took to it a little too readily if
you ask me, he
told himself. And what you will be like or just exactly what you will be
suited for when you
leave the service of the Republic is, to me, he thought, extremely doubtful.
But my guess
is you will get rid of all that by writing about it, he said. Once you write
it down it is all
gone. It will be a good book if you can write it. Much better than the other.
But
in the meantime all the life you have or ever will have is today, tonight,
tomorrow, today,
tonight, tomorrow, over and over again (I hope), he thought and so you had
better take
what time there is and be very thankful for it. If the bridge goes bad. It
does not look too
good just now. But
Maria has been good. Has she not? Oh, has she not, he thought. Maybe that is what
I am to get now from life. Maybe that is my life and instead of it being
threescore years
and ten it is fortyeight hours or just threescore hours and ten or twelve
rather. Twenty-four
hours in a day would be threescore and twelve for the three full days. I
suppose it is possible to live as full a life in seventy hours as in seventy
years; granted
that your life has been full up to the time that the seventy hours start and
that you
have reached a certain age. What
nonsense, he thought. What rot you get to thinking by yourself. That is
really nonsense.
And maybe it isn’t nonsense too. Well, we will see. The last time I slept
with a girl
was in Madrid. No it wasn’t. It was in the Escorial and, except that I woke
in the night and
thought it was some one else and was excited until I realized who it really
was, it was
just dragging ashes; except that it was pleasant enough. And the time before
that was
in Madrid and except for some lying and pretending I did to myself as to
identity while
things were going on, it was the same or something less. So I am no romantic glorifier
of the Spanish Woman nor did I ever think of a casual piece as anything much other
than a casual piece in any country. But when I am with Maria I love her so
that I feel,
literally, as though I would die and I never believed in that nor thought
that it could happen.
So
if your life trades its seventy years for seventy hours I have that value now
and I am
lucky enough to know it. And if there is not any such thing as a long time,
nor the rest
of your lives, nor from now on, but there is only now, why then now is the
thing to praise
and I am very happy with it. Now, ahora, maintenant, heute. Now, it has a
funny sound
to be a whole world and your life. Esta noche, tonight, ce soir, heute abend.
Life and
wife, Vie and Mari. No it didn’t work out. The French turned it into husband.
There was
now and frau; but that did not prove anything either. Take dead, mort,
muerto, and todt.
Todt was the deadest of them all. War, guerre, guerra, and krieg. Krieg was
the most
like war, or was it? Or was it only that he knew German the least well?
Sweetheart, chérie,
prenda, and schatz. He would trade them all for Maria. There was a name. Well,
they would all be doing it together and it would not be long now. It
certainly looked
worse all the time. It was just something that you could not bring off in the
morning.
In an impossible situation you hang on until night to get away. You try to
last out
until night to get back in. You are all right, maybe, if you can stick it out
until dark and
then get in. So what if you start this sticking it out at daylight? How about
that? And that
poor bloody Sordo abandoning his pidgin Spanish to explain it to him so
carefully. As
though he had not thought about that whenever he had done any particularly
bad thinking
ever since Golz had first mentioned it. As though he hadn’t been living with
that like
a lump of undigested dough in the pit of his stomach ever since the night
before the night
before last. What
a business. You go along your whole life and they seem as though they mean something
and they always end up not meaning anything. There was never any of what this
is. You think that is one thing that you will never have. And then, on a
lousy show like
this, co-ordinating two chicken-crut guerilla bands to help you blow a bridge
under impossible
conditions, to abort a counteroffensive that will probably already be
started, you
run into a girl like this Maria. Sure. That is what you would do. You ran
into her rather
late, that was all. So
a woman like that Pilar practically pushed this girl into your sleeping bag
and what happens?
Yes, what happens? What happens? You tell me what happens, please. Yes. That
is just what happens. That is exactly what happens. Don’t
lie to yourself about Pilar pushing her into your sleeping robe and try to
make it nothing
or to make it lousy. You were gone when you first saw her. When she first opened
her mouth and spoke to you it was there already and you know it. Since you have
it and you never thought you would have it, there is no sense throwing dirt
at it, when
you know what it is and you know it came the first time you looked at her as
she came
out bent over carrying that iron cooking platter. It
hit you then and you know it and so why lie about it? You went all strange
inside every
time you looked at her and every time she looked at you. So why don’t you
admit it?
All right, I’ll admit it. And as for Pilar pushing her onto you, all Pilar
did was be an intelligent
woman. She had taken good care of the girl and she saw what was coming the
minute the girl came back into the cave with the cooking dish. So
she made things easier. She made things easier so that there was last night
and this
afternoon. She is a damned sight more civilized than you are and she knows
what time
is all about. Yes, he said to himself, I think we can admit that she has
certain notions
about the value of time. She took a beating and all because she did not want other
people losing what she’d lost and then the idea of admitting it was lost was
too big a
thing to swallow. So she took a beating back there on the hill and I guess we
did not make
it any easier for her. Well,
so that is what happens and what has happened and you might as well admit it and
now you will never have two whole nights with her. Not a lifetime, not to
live together,
not to have what people were always supposed to have, not at all. One night that
is past, once one afternoon, one night to come; maybe. No, sir. Not
time, not happiness, not fun, not children, not a house, not a bathroom, not
a clean
pair of pajamas, not the morning paper, not to wake up together, not to wake
and know
she’s there and that you’re not alone. No. None of that. But why, when this
is all you
are going to get in life of what you want; when you have found it; why not
just one night
in a bed with sheets? You
ask for the impossible. You ask for the ruddy impossible. So if you love this
girl as much
as you say you do, you had better love her very hard and make up in intensity
what
the relation will lack in duration and in continuity. Do you hear that? In
the old days people
devoted a lifetime to it. And now when you have found it if you get two
nights you wonder
where all the luck came from. Two nights. Two nights to love, honor and cherish.
For better and for worse. In sickness and in death. No that wasn’t it. In sickness
and
in health. Till death do us part. In two nights. Much more than likely. Much
more than
likely and now lay off that sort of thinking. You can stop that now. That’s
not good for
you. Do nothing that is not good for you. Sure that’s it. This
was what Golz had talked about. The longer he was around, the smarter Golz seemed.
So this was what he was asking about; the compensation of irregular service. Had
Golz had this and was it the urgency and the lack of time and the
circumstances that
made it? Was this something that happened to every one given comparable circumstances?
And did he only think it was something special because it was happening
to him? Had Golz slept around in a hurry when he was commanding irregular cavalry
in the Red Army and had the combination of the circumstances and the rest of
it made
the girls seem the way Maria was? Probably
Golz knew all about this too and wanted to make the point that you must make
your whole life in the two nights that are given to you; that living as we do
now you must
concentrate all of that which you should always have into the short time that
you can
have it. It
was a good system of belief. But he did not believe that Maria had only been
made by
the circumstances. Unless, of course, she is a reaction from her own
circumstance as
well as his. Her one circumstance is not so good, he thought. No, not so
good. If
this was how it was then this was how it was. But there was no law that made
him say
he liked it. I did not know that I could ever feel what I have felt, he
thought. Nor that this
could happen to me. I would like to have it for my whole life. You will, the
other part of
him said. You will. You have it now and that is all your whole life is; now.
There is nothing
else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any
tomorrow. How
old must you be before you know that? There is only now, and if now is only
two days,
then two days is your life and everything in it will be in proportion. This
is how you live
a life in two days. And if you stop complaining and asking for what you never
will get,
you will have a good life. A good life is not measured by any biblical span. So
now do not worry, take what you have, and do your work and you will have a
long life
and a very merry one. Hasn’t it been merry lately? What are you complaining
about? That’s
the thing about this sort of work, he told himself, and was very pleased with
the thought,
it isn’t so much what you learn as it is the people you meet. He was pleased then
because he was joking and he came back to the girl. “I
love you, rabbit,” he said to the girl. “What was it you were saying?” “I
was saying,” she told him, “that you must not worry about your work because I
will not
bother you nor interfere. If there is anything I can do you will tell me.” “There’s
nothing,” he said. “It is really very simple.” “I
will learn from Pilar what I should do to take care of a man well and those
things I will
do,” Maria said. “Then, as I learn, I will discover things for myself and
other things you
can tell me.” “There
is nothing to do.” “Qué
va, man, there is nothing! Thy sleeping robe, this morning, should have been shaken
and aired and hung somewhere in the sun. Then, before the dew comes, it should
be taken into shelter.” “Go
on, rabbit.” “Thy
socks should be washed and dried. I would see thee had two pair.” “What
else?” “If
thou would show me I would clean and oil thy pistol.” “Kiss
me,” Robert Jordan said. “Nay,
this is serious. Wilt thou show me about the pistol? Pilar has rags and oil.
There is
a cleaning rod inside the cave that should fit it.” “Sure.
I’ll show you.” “Then,”
Maria said. “If you will teach me to shoot it either one of us could shoot
the other
and himself, or herself, if one were wounded and it were necessary to avoid capture.”
“Very
interesting,” Robert Jordan said. “Do you have many ideas like that?” “Not
many,” Maria said. “But it is a good one. Pilar gave me this and showed me
how to
use it,” she opened the breast pocket of her shirt and took out a cut-down
leather holder
such as pocket combs are carried in and, removing a wide rubber band that closed
both ends, took out a Gem type, single-edged razor blade. “I keep this
always,” she
explained. “Pilar says you must make the cut here just below the ear and draw
it toward
here.” She showed him with her finger. “She says there is a big artery there
and that
drawing the blade from there you cannot miss it. Also, she says there is no
pain and you
must simply press firmly below the ear and draw it downward. She says it is
nothing and
that they cannot stop it if it is done.” “That’s
right,” said Robert Jordan. “That’s the carotid artery.” So
she goes around with that all the time, he thought, as a definitely accepted
and properly
organized possibility. “But
I would rather have thee shoot me,” Maria said. “Promise if there is ever any
need that
thou wilt shoot me.” “Sure,”
Robert Jordan said. “I promise.” “Thank
thee very much,” Maria told him. “I know it is not easy to do.” “That’s
all right,” Robert Jordan said. You forget all this, he thought. You forget
about the beauties of a civil war when you keep
your mind too much on your work. You have forgotten this. Well, you are
supposed to.
Kashkin couldn’t forget it and it spoiled his work. Or do you think the old
boy had a hunch?
It was very strange because he had experienced absolutely no emotion about the
shooting of Kashkin. He expected that at some time he might have it. But so
far there
had been absolutely none. “But
there are other things I can do for thee,” Maria told him, walking close
beside him, now,
very serious and womanly. “Besides
shoot me?” “Yes.
I can roll cigarettes for thee when thou hast no more of those with tubes.
Pilar has
taught me to roll them very well, tight and neat and not spilling.” “Excellent,”
said Robert Jordan. “Do you lick them yourself?” “Yes,”
the girl said, “and when thou art wounded I will care for thee and dress thy wound
and wash thee and feed thee—” “Maybe
I won’t be wounded,” Robert Jordan said. “Then
when you are sick I will care for thee and make thee soups and clean thee and
do
all for thee. And I will read to thee.” “Maybe
I won’t get sick.” “Then
I will bring thee coffee in the morning when thou wakest—” “Maybe
I don’t like coffee,” Robert Jordan told her. “Nay,
but you do,” the girl said happily. “This morning you took two cups.” “Suppose
I get tired of coffee and there’s no need to shoot me and I’m neither wounded
nor sick and I give up smoking and have only one pair of socks and hang up my
robe myself. What then, rabbit?” he patted her on the back. “What then?” “Then,”
said Maria, “I will borrow the scissors of Pilar and cut thy hair.” “I
don’t like to have my hair cut.” “Neither
do I,” said Maria. “And I like thy hair as it is. So. If there is nothing to
do for thee,
I will sit by thee and watch thee and in the nights we will make love.” “Good,”
Robert Jordan said. “The last project is very sensible.” “To
me it seems the same,” Maria smiled. “Oh, Inglés,” she said. “My
name is Roberto.” “Nay.
But I call thee Inglés as Pilar does.” “Still
it is Roberto.” “No,”
she told him. “Now for a whole day it is Inglés. And Inglés, can I help thee
with thy
work?” “No.
What I do now I do alone and very coldly in my head.” “Good,”
she said. “And when will it be finished?” “Tonight,
with luck.” “Good,”
she said. Below
them was the last woods that led to the camp. “Who
is that?” Robert Jordan asked and pointed. “Pilar,”
the girl said, looking along his arm. “Surely it is Pilar.” At
the lower edge of the meadow where the first trees grew the woman was
sitting, her head
on her arms. She looked like a dark bundle from where they stood; black
against the
brown of the tree trunk. “Come
on,” Robert Jordan said and started to run toward her through the knee-high heather.
It was heavy and hard to run in and when he had run a little way, he slowed and
walked. He could see the woman’s head was on her folded arms and she looked broad
and black against the tree trunk. He came up to her and said, “Pilar!”
sharply. The
woman raised her head and looked up at him. “Oh,”
she said. “You have terminated already?” “Art
thou ill?” he asked and bent down by her. “Qué
va,” she said. “I was asleep.” “Pilar,”
Maria, who had come up, said and kneeled down by her. “How are you? Are you
all right?” “I’m magnificent,” Pilar said but she did not
get up. She looked at the two of them. “Well,
Inglés,” she said. “You have been doing manly tricks again?” “You
are all right?” Robert Jordan asked, ignoring the words. “Why
not? I slept. Did you?” “No.”
“Well,”
Pilar said to the girl. “It seems to agree with you.” Maria
blushed and said nothing. “Leave
her alone,” Robert Jordan said. “No
one spoke to thee,” Pilar told him. “Maria,” she said and her voice was hard.
The girl
did not look up. “Maria,”
the woman said again. “I said it seems to agree with thee.” “Oh,
leave her alone,” Robert Jordan said again. “Shut
up, you,” Pilar said without looking at him. “Listen, Maria, tell me one
thing.” “No,”
Maria said and shook her head. “Maria,”
Pilar said, and her voice was as hard as her face and there was nothing friendly
in her face. “Tell me one thing of thy own volition.” The
girl shook her head. Robert
Jordan was thinking, if I did not have to work with this woman and her
drunken man
and her chicken-crut outfit, I would slap her so hard across the face that—. “Go
ahead and tell me,” Pilar said to the girl. “No,”
Maria said. “No.” “Leave
her alone,” Robert Jordan said and his voice did not sound like his own
voice. I’ll
slap her anyway and the hell with it, he thought. Pilar
did not even speak to him. It was not like a snake charming a bird, nor a cat
with a
bird. There was nothing predatory. Nor was there anything perverted about it.
There was
a spreading, though, as a cobra’s hood spreads. He could feel this. He could
feel the
menace of the spreading. But the spreading was a domination, not of evil, but
of searching.
I wish I did not see this, Robert Jordan thought. But it is not a business
for slapping.
“Maria,”
Pilar said. “I will not touch thee. Tell me now of thy own volition.” “De
tu propia voluntad,” the words were in Spanish. The
girl shook her head. “Maria,”
Pilar said. “Now and of thy own volition. You hear me? Anything at all.” “No,”
the girl said softly. “No and no.” “Now
you will tell me,” Pilar told her. “Anything at all. You will see. Now you
will tell me.”
“The
earth moved,” Maria said, not looking at the woman. “Truly. It was a thing I cannot
tell thee.” “So,”
Pilar said and her voice was warm and friendly and there was no compulsion in
it.
But Robert Jordan noticed there were small drops of perspiration on her
forehead and her
lips. “So there was that. So that was it.” “It
is true,” Maria said and bit her lip. “Of
course it is true,” Pilar said kindly. “But do not tell it to your own people
for they never
will believe you. You have no Cali blood, Inglés?” She
got to her feet, Robert Jordan helping her up. “No,”
he said. “Not that I know of.” “Nor
has the Maria that she knows of,” Pilar said. “Pues es muy raro. It is very strange.”
“But
it happened, Pilar,” Maria said. “Cómo
que no, hija?” Pilar said. “Why not, daughter? When I was young the earth moved
so that you could feel it all shift in space and were afraid it would go out
from under
you. It happened every night.” “You
lie,” Maria said. “Yes,”
Pilar said. “I lie. It never moves more than three times in a lifetime. Did
it really move?”
“Yes,” the girl said. “Truly.” “For
you, Inglés?” Pilar looked at Robert Jordan. “Don’t lie.” “Yes,”
he said. “Truly.” “Good,”
said Pilar. “Good. That is something.” “What
do you mean about the three times?” Maria asked. “Why do you say that?” “Three
times,” said Pilar. “Now you’ve had one.” “Only
three times?” “For
most people, never,” Pilar told her. “You are sure it moved?” “One
could have fallen off,” Maria said. “I
guess it moved, then,” Pilar said. “Come, then, and let us get to camp.” “What’s
this nonsense about three times?” Robert Jordan said to the big woman as they
walked through the pines together. “Nonsense?”
she looked at him wryly. “Don’t talk to me of nonsense, little English.” “Is
it a wizardry like the palms of the hands?” “Nay,
it is common and proven knowledge with Gitanos.” “But
we are not Gitanos.” “Nay.
But you have had a little luck. Non-gypsies have a little luck sometimes.” “You
mean it truly about the three times?” She
looked at him again, oddly. “Leave me, Inglés,” she said. “Don’t molest me.
You are
too young for me to speak to.” “But,
Pilar,” Maria said. “Shut
up,” Pilar told her. “You have had one and there are two more in the world
for thee.”
“And
you?” Robert Jordan asked her. “Two,”
said Pilar and put up two fingers. “Two. And there will never be a third.” “Why
not?” Maria asked. “Oh,
shut up,” Pilar said. “Shut up. Busnes of thy age bore me.” “Why
not a third?” Robert Jordan asked. “Oh,
shut up, will you?” Pilar said. “Shut up!” All
right, Robert Jordan said to himself. Only I am not having any. I’ve known a
lot of gypsies
and they are strange enough. But so are we. The difference is we have to make
an
honest living. Nobody knows what tribes we came from nor what our tribal inheritance
is nor what the mysteries were in the woods where the people lived that we came
from. All we know is that we do not know. We know nothing about what happens to
us in the nights. When it happens in the day though, it is something.
Whatever happened,
happened and now this woman not only has to make the girl say it when she did
not want to; but she has to take it over and make it her own. She has to make
it into a
gypsy thing. I thought she took a beating up the hill but she was certainly
dominating just
now back there. If it had been evil she should have been shot. But it wasn’t
evil. It was
only wanting to keep her hold on life. To keep it through Maria. When
you get through with this war you might take up the study of women, he said
to himself.
You could start with Pilar. She has put in a pretty complicated day, if you
ask me.
She never brought in the gypsy stuff before. Except the hand, he thought.
Yes, of course
the hand. And I don’t think she was faking about the hand. She wouldn’t tell
me what
she saw, of course. Whatever she saw she believed in herself. But that proves
nothing.
“Listen,
Pilar,” he said to the woman. Pilar
looked at him and smiled. “What
is it?” she asked. “Don’t
be so mysterious,” Robert Jordan said. “These mysteries tire me very much.” “So?”
Pilar said. “I
do not believe in ogres, soothsayers, fortune tellers, or chicken-crut gypsy witchcraft.”
“Oh,”
said Pilar. “No.
And you can leave the girl alone.” “I will leave the girl alone.” “And
leave the mysteries,” Robert Jordan said. “We have enough work and enough things
that will be done without complicating it with chicken-crut. Fewer mysteries
and more
work.” “I
see,” said Pilar and nodded her head in agreement. “And listen, Inglés,” she
said and
smiled at him. “Did the earth move?” “Yes,
God damn you. It moved.” Pilar
laughed and laughed and stood looking at Robert Jordan laughing. “Oh,
Inglés. Inglés,” she said laughing. “You are very comical. You must do much work
now to regain thy dignity.” The
Hell with you, Robert Jordan thought. But he kept his mouth shut. While they
had spoken
the sun had clouded over and as he looked back up toward the mountains the sky
was now heavy and gray. “Sure,”
Pilar said to him, looking at the sky. “It will snow.” “Now?
Almost in June?” “Why
not? These mountains do not know the names of the months. We are in the moon
of May.” “It
can’t be snow,” he said. “It can’t snow.” “Just
the same, Inglés,” she said to him, “it will snow.” Robert
Jordan looked up at the thick gray of the sky with the sun gone faintly
yellow, and
now as he watched gone completely and the gray becoming uniform so that it
was soft
and heavy; the gray now cutting off the tops of the mountains. “Yes,”
he said. “I guess you are right.” 14 By the time they reached the camp it was
snowing and the flakes were dropping diagonally
through the pines. They slanted through the trees, sparse at first and
circling as
they fell, and then, as the cold wind came driving down the mountain, they
came whirling
and thick and Robert Jordan stood in front of the cave in a rage and watched them.
“We
will have much snow,” Pablo said. His voice was thick and his eyes were red
and bleary.
“Has
the gypsy come in?” Robert Jordan asked him. “No,”
Pablo said. “Neither him nor the old man.” “Will
you come with me to the upper post on the road?” “No,”
Pablo said. “I will take no part in this.” “I
will find it myself.” “In
this storm you might miss it,” Pablo said. “I would not go now.” “It’s
just downhill to the road and then follow it up.” “You
could find it. But thy two sentries will be coming up now with the snow and
you would
miss them on the way.” “The
old man is waiting for me.” “Nay.
He will come in now with the snow. Pablo
looked at the snow that was blowing fast now past the mouth of the cave and said,
“You do not like the snow, Inglés?” Robert
Jordan swore and Pablo looked at him through his bleary eyes and laughed. “With
this thy offensive goes, Inglés,” he said. “Come into the cave and thy people
will be
in directly.” Inside
the cave Maria was busy at the fire and Pilar at the kitchen table. The fire
was smoking
but, as the girl worked with it, poking in a stick of wood and then fanning
it with a
folded paper, there was a puff and then a flare and the wood was burning,
drawing brightly
as the wind sucked a draft out of the hole in the roof. “And
this snow,” Robert Jordan said. “You think there will be much?” “Much,”
Pablo said contentedly. Then called to Pilar, “You don’t like it, woman,
either? Now
that you command you do not like this snow?” “A
mi qué?” Pilar said, over her shoulder. “If it snows it snows.” “Drink
some wine, Inglés,” Pablo said. “I have been drinking all day waiting for the
snow.”
“Give
me a cup,” Robert Jordan said. “To
the snow,” Pablo said and touched cups with him. Robert Jordan looked him in
the eyes
and clinked his cup. You bleary-eyed murderous sod, he thought. I’d like to
clink this
cup against your teeth. Take it easy, he told himself, take it easy. “It
is very beautiful the snow,” Pablo said. “You won’t want to sleep outside
with the snow
falling.” So
that’s on your mind too is it? Robert Jordan thought. You’ve a lot of
troubles, haven’t
you, Pablo? “No?”
he said, politely. “No.
Very cold,” Pablo said. “Very wet.” You
don’t know why those old eiderdowns cost sixty-five dollars, Robert Jordan thought.
I’d like to have a dollar for every time I’ve slept in that thing in the
snow. “Then
I should sleep in here?” he asked politely. “Yes.”
“Thanks,”
Robert Jordan said. “I’ll be sleeping outside.” “In
the snow?” “Yes”
(damn your bloody, red pig-eyes and your swine-bristly swines-end of a face).
“In
the snow.” (In the utterly damned, ruinous, unexpected, slutting, defeat-conniving,
bastard-cessery
of the snow.) He
went over to where Maria had just put another piece of pine on the fire. “Very
beautiful, the snow,” he said to the girl. “But
it is bad for the work, isn’t it?” she asked him. “Aren’t you worried?” “Qué
va,” he said. “Worrying is no good. When will supper be ready?” “I
thought you would have an appetite,” Pilar said. “Do you want a cut of cheese
now?” “Thanks,”
he said and she cut him a slice, reaching up to unhook the big cheese that hung
in a net from the ceiling, drawing a knife across the open end and handing
him the heavy
slice. He stood, eating it. It was just a little too goaty to be enjoyable. “Maria,”
Pablo said from the table where he was sitting. “What?”
the girl asked. “Wipe
the table clean, Maria,” Pablo said and grinned at Robert Jordan. “Wipe
thine own spillings,” Pilar said to him. “Wipe first thy chin and thy shirt
and then the
table.” “Maria,”
Pablo called. “Pay
no heed to him. He is drunk,” Pilar said. “Maria,”
Pablo called. “It is still snowing and the snow is beautiful.” He
doesn’t know about that robe, Robert Jordan thought. Good old pig-eyes
doesn’t know
why I paid the Woods boys sixty-five dollars for that robe. I wish the gypsy
would come
in though. As soon as the gypsy comes I’ll go after the old man. I should go
now but
it is very possible that I would miss them. I don’t know where he is posted. “Want
to make snowballs?” he said to Pablo. “Want to have a snowball fight?” “What?”
Pablo asked. “What do you propose?” “Nothing,”
Robert Jordan said. “Got your saddles covered up good?” “Yes.”
Then
in English Robert Jordan said, “Going to grain those horses or peg them out
and let
them dig for it?” “What?”
“Nothing.
It’s your problem, old pal. I’m going out of here on my feet.” “Why
do you speak in English?” Pablo asked. “I
don’t know,” Robert Jordan said. “When I get very tired sometimes I speak
English. Or
when I get very disgusted. Or baffled, say. When I get highly baffled I just
talk English
to hear the sound of it. It’s a reassuring noise. You ought to try it
sometime.” “What do you say, Inglés?” Pilar said. “It
sounds very interesting but I do not understand.”
“Nothing,”
Robert Jordan said. “I said, ‘nothing’ in English.” “Well
then, talk Spanish,” Pilar said. “It’s shorter and simpler in Spanish.” “Surely,”
Robert Jordan said. But oh boy, he thought, oh Pablo, oh Pilar, oh Maria, oh you
two brothers in the corner whose names I’ve forgotten and must remember, but
I get
tired of it sometimes. Of it and of you and of me and of the war and why in
all why did
it have to snow now? That’s too bloody much. No, it’s not. Nothing is too
bloody much.
You just have to take it and fight out of it and now stop prima-donnaing and accept
the fact that it is snowing as you did a moment ago and the next thing is to
check with
your gypsy and pick up your old man. But to snow! Now in this month. Cut it
out, he said
to himself. Cut it out and take it. It’s that cup, you know. How did it go
about that cup?
He’d either have to improve his memory or else never think of quotations
because when
you missed one it hung in your mind like a name you had forgotten and you
could not
get rid of it. How did it go about that cup? “Let
me have a cup of wine, please,” he said in Spanish. Then, “Lots of snow? Eh?”
he said
to Pablo. “Mucha nieve.” The
drunken man looked up at him and grinned. He nodded his head and grinned again.
“No
offensive. No aviones. No bridge. Just snow,” Pablo said. “You
expect it to last a long time?” Robert Jordan sat down by him. “You think
we’re going
to be snowed in all summer, Pablo, old boy?” “All
summer, no,” Pablo said. “Tonight and tomorrow, yes.” “What
makes you think so?” “There
are two kinds of storms,” Pablo said, heavily and judiciously. “One comes
from the
Pyrenees. With this one there is great cold. It is too late for this one.” “Good,”
Robert Jordan said. “That’s something.” “This
storm comes from the Cantabrico,” Pablo said. “It comes from the sea. With
the wind
in this direction there will be a great storm and much snow.” “Where
did you learn all this, old timer?” Robert Jordan asked. Now
that his rage was gone he was excited by this storm as he was always by all storms.
In a blizzard, a gale, a sudden line squall, a tropical storm, or a summer
thunder shower
in the mountains there was an excitement that came to him from no other
thing. It
was like the excitement of battle except that it was clean. There is a wind
that blows through
battle but that was a hot wind; hot and dry as your mouth; and it blew
heavily; hot
and dirtily; and it rose and died away with the fortunes of the day. He knew
that wind well.
But
a snowstorm was the opposite of all of that. In the snowstorm you came close
to wild
animals and they were not afraid. They travelled across country not knowing
where they
were and the deer stood sometimes in the lee of the cabin. In a snowstorm you
rode
up to a moose and he mistook your horse for another moose and trotted forward
to meet
you. In a snowstorm it always seemed, for a time, as though there were no enemies.
In a snowstorm the wind could blow a gale; but it blew a white cleanness and the
air was full of a driving whiteness and all things were changed and when the
wind stopped
there would be the stillness. This was a big storm and he might as well enjoy
it. It
was ruining everything, but you might as well enjoy it. “I
was an arroyero for many years,” Pablo said. “We trucked freight across the mountains
with the big carts before the camions came into use. In that business we learned
the weather.” “And
how did you get into the movement?” “I
was always of the left,” Pablo said. “We had many contacts with the people of
Asturias
where they are much developed politically. I have always been for the Republic.”
“But
what were you doing before the movement?” “I
worked then for a horse contractor of Zaragoza. He furnished horses for the
bull rings
as well as remounts for the army. It was then that I met Pilar who was, as
she told you,
with the matador Finito de Palencia.” He
said this with considerable pride. “He
wasn’t much of a matador,” one of the brothers at the table said looking at
Pilar’s back
where she stood in front of the stove. “No?”
Pilar said, turning around and looking at the man. “He wasn’t much of a matador?”
Standing
there now in the cave by the cooking fire she could see him, short and brown and
sober-faced, with the sad eyes, the cheeks sunken and the black hair curled
wet on his
forehead where the tightfitting matador’s hat had made a red line that no one
else noticed.
She saw him stand, now, facing the five-year-old bull, facing the horns that
had lifted
the horses high, the great neck thrusting the horse up, up, as that rider
poked into that
neck with the spiked pole, thrusting up and up until the horse went over with
a crash and
the rider fell against the wooden fence and, with the bull’s legs thrusting
him forward,
the big neck swung the horns that searched the horse for the life that was in
him.
She saw him, Finito, the not-so-good matador, now standing in front of the
bull and turning
sideways toward him. She saw him now clearly as he furled the heavy flannel cloth
around the stick; the flannel hanging blood-heavy from the passes where it
had swept
over the bull’s head and shoulders and the wet streaming shine of his withers
and on
down and over his back as the bull raised into the air and the banderillas
clattered. She
saw Finito stand five paces from the bull’s head, profiled, the bull standing
still and heavy,
and draw the sword slowly up until it was level with his shoulder and then
sight along
the dipping blade at a point he could not yet see because the bull’s head was
higher
than his eyes. He would bring that head down with the sweep his left arm
would make
with the wet, heavy cloth; but now he rocked back a little on his heels and
sighted along
the blade, profiled in front of the splintered horn; the bull’s chest heaving
and his eyes
watching the cloth. She
saw him very clearly now and she heard his thin, clear voice as he turned his
head
and looked toward the people in the first row of the ring above the red fence
and said,
“Let’s see if we can kill him like this!” She
could hear the voice and then see the first bend of the knee as he started
forward and
watch his voyage in onto the horn that lowered now magically as the bull’s
muzzle followed
the low swept cloth, the thin, brown wrist controlled, sweeping the horns
down and
past, as the sword entered the dusty height of the withers. She
saw its brightness going in slowly and steadily as though the bull’s rush
plucked it into
himself and out from the man’s hand and she watched it move in until the
brown knuckles
rested against the taut hide and the short, brown man whose eyes had never left
the entry place of the sword now swung his sucked-in belly clear of the horn
and rocked
clear from the animal, to stand holding the cloth on the stick in his left
hand, raising
his right hand to watch the bull die. She
saw him standing, his eyes watching the bull trying to hold the ground,
watching the
bull sway like a tree before it falls, watching the bull fight to hold his
feet to the earth, the
short man’s hand raised in a formal gesture of triumph. She saw him standing
there in
the sweated, hollow relief of it being over, feeling the relief that the bull
was dying, feeling
the relief that there had been no shock, no blow of the horn as he came clear
from
it and then, as he stood, the bull could hold to the earth no longer and
crashed over,
rolling dead with all four feet in the air, and she could see the short,
brown man walking
tired and unsmiling to the fence. She
knew he could not run across the ring if his life depended on it and she
watched him
walk slowly to the fence and wipe his mouth on a towel and look up at her and
shake
his head and then wipe his face on the towel and start his triumphant
circling of the
ring. She
saw him moving slowly, dragging around the ring, smiling, bowing, smiling,
his assistants
walking behind him, stooping, picking up cigars, tossing back hats; he
circling the
ring sad-eyed and smiling, to end the circle before her. Then she looked over
and saw
him sitting now on the step of the wooden fence, his mouth in a towel. Pilar
saw all this as she stood there over the fire and she said, “So he wasn’t a
good matador?
With what class of people is my life passed now!” “He
was a good matador,” Pablo said. “He was handicapped by his short stature.” “And
clearly he was tubercular,” Primitivo said. “Tubercular?”
Pilar said. “Who wouldn’t be tubercular from the punishment he received?
In this country where no poor man can ever hope to make money unless he is a
criminal like Juan March, or a bullfighter, or a tenor in the opera? Why
wouldn’t he be tubercular?
In a country where the bourgeoisie over-eat so that their stomachs are all ruined
and they cannot live without bicarbonate of soda and the poor are hungry from
their
birth till the day they die, why wouldn’t he be tubercular? If you travelled
under the seats
in third-class carriages to ride free when you were following the fairs
learning to fight
as a boy, down there in the dust and dirt with the fresh spit and the dry
spit, wouldn’t
you be tubercular if your chest was beaten out by horns?” “Clearly,”
Primitivo said. “I only said he was tubercular.” “Of
course he was tubercular,” Pilar said, standing there with the big wooden
stirring spoon
in her hand. “He was short of stature and he had a thin voice and much fear
of bulls.
Never have I seen a man with more fear before the bullfight and never have I
seen a
man with less fear in the ring. “You,” she said to Pablo. “You are afraid to
die now. You
think that is something of importance. But Finito was afraid all the time and
in the ring
he was like a lion.” “He
had the fame of being very valiant,” the second brother said. “Never
have I known a man with so much fear,” Pilar said. “He would not even have a bull’s
head in the house. One time at the feria of Valladolid he killed a bull of
Pablo Romero
very well—” “I
remember,” the first brother said. “I was at the ring. It was a soap-colored
one with a curly
forehead and with very high horns. It was a bull of over thirty arrobas. It
was the last
bull he killed in Valladolid.” “Exactly,”
Pilar said. “And afterwards the club of enthusiasts who met in the Café Colon
and had taken his name for their club had the head of the bull mounted and presented
it to him at a small banquet at the Café Colon. During the meal they had the head
on the wall, but it was covered with a cloth. I was at the table and others
were there,
Pastora, who is uglier than I am, and the Nina de los Peines, and other
gypsies and
whores of great category. It was a banquet, small but of great intensity and
almost of
a violence due to a dispute between Pastora and one of the most significant
whores over
a question of propriety. I, myself, was feeling more than happy and I was
sitting by Finito
and I noticed he would not look up at the bull’s head, which was shrouded in
a purple
cloth as the images of the saints are covered in church duing the week of the
passion
of our former Lord. “Finito
did not eat much because he had received a palotaxo, a blow from the flat of the
horn when he had gone in to kill in his last corrida of the year at Zaragoza,
and it had
rendered him unconscious for some time and even now he could not hold food on
his
stomach and he would put his handkerchief to his mouth and deposit a quantity
of blood
in it at intervals throughout the banquet. What was I going to tell you?” “The
bull’s head,” Primitivo said. “The stuffed head of the bull.” “Yes,”
Pilar said. “Yes. But I must tell certain details so that you will see it.
Finito was never
very merry, you know. He was essentially solemn and I had never known him when
we were alone to laugh at anything. Not even at things which were very comic.
He took
everything with great seriousness. He was almost as serious as Fernando. But
this was
a banquet given him by a club of aficionados banded together into the Club
Finito and
it was necessary for him to give an appearance of gaiety and friendliness and
merriment.
So all during the meal he smiled and made friendly remarks and it was only I who
noticed what he was doing with the handkerchief. He had three handkerchiefs
with him
and he filled the three of them and then he said to me in a very low voice,
‘Pilar, I can
support this no further. I think I must leave.’ “‘Let us leave then,’ I said. For I saw he
was suffering much. There was great hilarity by
this time at the banquet and the noise was tremendous. “‘No.
I cannot leave,’ Finito said to me. ‘After all it is a club flamed for me and
I have an
obligation.’ “‘If
thou art ill let us go,’ I said. “‘Nay,’
he said. ‘I will stay. Give me some of that manzanilla.’ “I
did not think it was wise of him to drink, since he had eaten nothing, and
since he had
such a condition of the stomach; but he was evidently unable to support the merriment
and the hilarity and the noise longer without taking something. So I watched him
drink, very rapidly, almost a bottle of the manzanilla. Having exhausted his handkerchiefs
he was now employing his napkin for the use he had previously made of his
handkerchiefs. “Now
indeed the banquet had reached a stage of great enthusiasm and some of the least
heavy of the whores were being paraded around the table on the shoulders of various
of the club members. Pastora was prevailed upon to sing and El Niño Ricardo played
the guitar and it was very moving and an occasion of true joy and drunken friendship
of the highest order. Never have I seen a banquet at which a higher pitch of real
flamenco enthusiasm was reached and yet we had not arrived at the unveiling
of the
bull’s head which was, after all, the reason for the celebration of the
banquet. “I
was enjoying myself to such an extent and I was so busy clapping my hands to
the playing
of Ricardo and aiding to make up a team to clap for the singing of the Nina
de los
Peines that I did not notice that Finito had filled his own napkin by now,
and that he had
taken mine. He was drinking more manzanilla now and his eyes were very
bright, and
he was nodding very happily to every one. He could not speak much because at any
time, while speaking, he might have to resort to his napkin; but he was giving
an appearance
of great gayety and enjoyment which, after all, was what he was there for. “So
the banquet proceeded and the man who sat next to me had been the former manager
of Rafael el Gallo and he was telling me a story, and the end of it was, ‘So Rafael
came to me and said, “You are the best friend I have in the world and the noblest.
I love you like a brother and I wish to make you a present.” So then he gave
me a
beautiful diamond stick pin and kissed me on both cheeks and we were both
very moved.
Then Rafael el Gallo, having given me the diamond stick pin, walked out of
the café
and I said to Retana who was sitting at the table, “That dirty gypsy had just
signed a
contract with another manager.”‘ “‘“What
do you mean?” Retana asked.’ “‘I’ve
managed him for ten years and he has never given me a present before,’ the manager
of El Gallo had said. ‘That’s the only thing it can mean.’ And sure enough it
was
true and that was how El Gallo left him. “But
at this point, Pastora intervened in the conversation, not perhaps as much to
defend
the good name of Rafael, since no one had ever spoken harder against him than
she
had herself, but because the manager had spoken against the gypsies by employing
the phrase, ‘Dirty gypsy.’ She intervened so forcibly and in such terms that the
manager was reduced to silence. I intervened to quiet Pastora and another
Gitana intervened
to quiet me and the din was such that no one could distinguish any words which
passed except the one great word ‘whore’ which roared out above all other
words until
quiet was restored and the three of us who had intervened sat looking down
into our
glasses and then I noticed that Finito was staring at the bull’s head, still
draped in the
purple cloth, with a look of horror on his face. “At
this moment the president of the Club commenced the speech which was to precede
the unveiling of the head and all through the speech which was applauded with
shouts
of ‘Ole!’ and poundings on the table I was watching Finito who was making use
of
his, no, my, napkin and sinking further back in his chair and staring with
horror and fascination
at the shrouded bull’s head on the wall opposite him. “Toward
the end of the speech, Finito began to shake his head and he got further back
in the chair all the time. “‘How are you, little one?’ I said to him
but when he looked at me he did not recognize me
and he only shook his head and said, ‘No. No. No.’ “So
the president of the Club reached the end of the speech and then, with
everybody cheering
him, he stood on a chair and reached up and untied the cord that bound the purple
shroud over the head and slowly pulled it clear of the head and it stuck on
one of the
horns and he lifted it clear and pulled it off the sharp polished horns and
there was that
great yellow bull with black horns that swung Way out and pointed forward,
their white
tips sharp as porcupine quills, and the head of the bull was as though he
were alive;
his forehead was curly as in life and his nostrils were open and his eyes
were bright
and he was there looking straight at Finito. “Every
one shouted and applauded and Finito sunk further back in the chair and then every
one was quiet and looking at him and he said, ‘No. No,’ and looked at the
bull and pulled
further back and then he said, ‘No!’ very loudly and a big blob of blood came
out and
he didn’t even put up the napkin and it slid down his chin and he was still
looking at the
bull and he said, ‘All season, yes. To make money, yes. To eat, yes. But I
can’t eat. Hear
me? My stomach’s bad. But now with the season finished! No! No! No!’ He
looked around
at the table and then he looked at the bull’s head and said, ‘No,’ once more
and then
he put his head down and he put his napkin up to his mouth and then he just
sat there
like that and said nothing and the banquet, which had started so well, and promised
to mark an epoch in hilarity and good fellowship was not a success.” “Then
how long after that did he die?” Primitivo asked. “That
winter,” Pilar said. “He never recovered from that last blow with the flat of
the horn
in Zaragoza. They are worse than a goring, for the injury is internal and it
does not heal.
He received one almost every time he went in to kill and it was for this
reason he was
not more successful. It was difficult for him to get out from over the horn
because of his
short stature. Nearly always the side of the horn struck him. But of course
many were
only glancing blows.” “If
he was so short he should not have tried to be a matador,” Primitivo said. Pilar
looked at Robert Jordan and shook her head. Then she bent over the big iron pot,
still shaking her head. What
a people they are, she thought. What a people are the Spaniards, “and if he
was so
short he should not have tried to be a matador.” And I hear it and say
nothing. I have no
rage for that and having made an explanation I am silent. How simple it is
when one knows
nothing. Qué sencillo! Knowing nothing one says, “He was not much of a matador.”
Knowing nothing another says, “He was tubercular.” And another says, after one,
knowing, has explained, “If he was so short he should not have tried to be a matador.”
Now,
bending over the fire, she saw on the bed again the naked brown body with the
gnarled
scars in both thighs, the deep, seared whorl below the ribs on the right side
of the
chest and the long white welt along the side that ended in the armpit. She
saw the eyes
closed and the solemn brown face and the curly black hair pushed back now
from the
forehead and she was sitting by him on the bed rubbing the legs, chafing the
taut muscles
of the calves, kneading them, loosening them, and then tapping them lightly with
her folded hands, loosening the cramped muscles. “How
is it?” she said to him. “How are the legs, little one?” “Very
well, Pilar,” he would say without opening his eyes. “Do
you want me to rub the chest?” “Nay,
Pilar. Please do not touch it.” “And
the upper legs?” “No.
They hurt too badly.” “But
if I rub them and put liniment on, it will warm them and they will be
better.” “Nay,
Pilar. Thank thee. I would rather they were not touched.” “I
will wash thee with alcohol.” “Yes.
Do it very lightly.” “You
were enormous in the last bull,” she would say to him and he would say, “Yes,
I killed
him very well.” Then,
having washed him and covered him with a sheet, she would lie by him in the bed
and he would put a brown hand out and touch her and say, “Thou art much
woman, Pilar.”
It was the nearest to a joke he ever made and then, usually, after the fight,
he would
go to sleep and she would lie there, holding his hand in her two hands and listening
to him breathe. He
was often frightened in his sleep and she would feel his hand grip tightly
and see the
sweat bead on his forehead and if he woke, she said, “It’s nothing,” and he
slept again.
She was with him thus five years and never was unfaithful to him, that is
almost never,
and then after the funeral, she took up with Pablo who led picador horses in
the ring
and was like all the bulls that Finito had spent his life killing. But
neither bull force nor
bull courage lasted, she knew now, and what did last? I last, she thought.
Yes, I have
lasted. But for what? “Maria,”
she said. “Pay some attention to what you are doing. That is a fire to cook with.
Not to burn down a city.” Just
then the gypsy came in the door. He was covered with snow and he stood there holding
his carbine and stamping the snow from his feet. Robert
Jordan stood up and went over to the door, “Well?” he said to the gypsy. “Six-hour
watches, two men at a time on the big bridge,” the gypsy said. “There are eight
men and a corporal at the roadmender’s hut. Here is thy chronometer.” “What
about the sawmill post?” “The
old man is there. He can watch that and the road both.” “And
the road?” Robert Jordan asked. “The
same movement as always,” the gypsy said. “Nothing out of the usual. Several motor
cars.” The
gypsy looked cold, his dark face was drawn with the cold and his hands were
red. Standing
in the mouth of the cave he took off his jacket and shook it. “I
stayed until they changed the watch,” he said. “It was changed at noon and at
six. That
is a long watch. I am glad I am not in their army.” “Let
us go for the old man,” Robert Jordan said, putting on his leather coat. “Not
me,” the gypsy said. “I go now for the fire and the hot soup. I will tell one
of these where
he is and he can guide you. Hey, loafers,” he called to the men who sat at
the table.
“Who wants to guide the Inglés to where the old man is watching the road?” “I
will go,” Fernando rose. “Tell me where it is.” “Listen,”
the gypsy said. “It is here—” and he told him where the old man, Anselmo, was
posted. 15 Anselmo was crouched in the lee of the trunk
of a big tree and the snow blew past on either
side. He was pressed close against the tree and his hands were inside of the sleeves
of his jacket, each hand shoved up into the opposite sleeve, and his head was
pulled
as far down into the jacket as it would go. If I stay here much longer I will
freeze, he
thought, and that will be of no value. The Inglés told me to stay until I was
relieved but
he did not know then about this storm. There has been no abnormal movement on
the
road and I know the dispositions and the habits of this post at the sawmill
across the road.
I should go now to the camp. Anybody with sense would be expecting me to
return to
the camp. I will stay a little longer, he thought, and then go to the camp.
It is the fault of
the orders, which are too rigid. There is no allowance for a change in
circumstance. He
rubbed his feet together and then took his hands out of the jacket sleeves
and bent over
and rubbed his legs with them and patted his feet together to keep the
circulation going.
It was less cold there, out of the wind in the shelter of the tree, but he
would have to
start walking shortly. As
he crouched, rubbing his feet, he heard a motorcar on the road. It had on
chains and
one link of chain was slapping and, as he Watched, it came up the
snow-covered road,
green and brown painted, in broken patches of daubed color, the windows blued
over
so that you could not see in, with only a half circle left clear in the blue
for the occupants
to look out through. It was a two-year-old Rolls-Royce town car camouflaged for
the use of the General Staff but Anselmo did not know that. He could not see
into the car
where three officers sat wrapped in their capes. Two were on the back seat
and one sat
on the folding chair. The officer on the folding chair was looking out of the
slit in the blue
of the window as the car passed but Anselmo did not know this. Neither of
them saw
the other. The
car passed in the snow directly below him. Anselmo saw the chauffeur,
red-faced and
steel-helmeted, his face and helmet projecting out of the blanket cape he
wore and he
saw the forward jut of the automatic rifle the orderly who sat beside the
chauffeur carried.
Then the car was gone up the road and Anselmo reached into the inside of his jacket
and took out from his shirt pocket the two sheets torn from Robert Jordan’s notebook
and made a mark after the drawing of a motorcar. It was the tenth car up for the
day. Six had come down. Four were still up. It was not an unusual amount of
cars to move
upon that road but Anselmo did not distinguish between the Fords, Fiats,
Opels, Renaults,
and Citroens of the staff of the Division that held the passes and the line
of the
mountain and the Rolls-Royces, Lancias, Mercedes, and Isottas of the General Staff.
This was the sort of distinction that Robert Jordan should have made and, if
he had
been there instead of the old man, he would have appreciated the significance
of these
cars which had gone up. But he was not there and the old man simply made a mark
for a motorcar going up the road, on the sheet of note paper. Anselmo
was now so cold that he decided he had best go to camp before it was dark. He
had no fear of missing the way, but he thought it was useless to stay longer
and the wind
was blowing colder all the time and there was no lessening of the snow. But
when he
stood up and stamped his feet and looked through the driving snow at the road
he did
not start off up the hillside but stayed leaning against the sheltered side
of the pine tree.
The
Inglés told me to stay, he thought. Even now he may be on the way here and,
if I leave
this place, he may lose himself in the snow searching for me. All through
this war we
have suffered from a lack of discipline and from the disobeying of orders and
I will wait
a while still for the Inglés. But if he does not come soon I must go in spite
of all orders
for I have a report to make now, and I have much to do in these days, and to freeze
here is an exaggeration and without utility. Across
the road at the sawmill smoke was coming out of the chimney and Anselmo could
smell it blown toward him through the snow. The fascists are warm, he
thought, and
they are comfortable, and tomorrow night we will kill them. It is a strange
thing and I do
not like to think of it. I have watched them all day and they are the same
men that we are.
I believe that I could walk up to the mill and knock on the door and I would
be welcome
except that they have orders to challenge all travellers and ask to see their
papers.
It is only orders that come between us. Those men are not fascists. I call
them so,
but they are not. They are poor men as we are. They should never be fighting against
us and I do not like to think of the killing. These
at this post are Gallegos. I know that from hearing them talk this afternoon.
They
cannot desert because if they do their families will be shot. Gallegos are
either very
intelligent or very dumb and brutal. I have known both kinds. Lister is a
Gallego from
the same town as Franco. I wonder what these Gallegos think of this snow now
at this
time of year. They have no high mountains such as these and in their country
it always
rains and it is always green. A
light showed in the window of the sawmill and Anselmo shivered and thought,
damn that
Inglés! There are the Gallegos warm and in a house here in our country, and I
am freezing
behind a tree and we live in a hole in the rocks like beasts in the mountain.
But tomorrow,
he thought, the beasts will come out of their hole and these that are now so comfortable
will die warm in their blankets. As those died in the night when we raided Otero,
he thought. He did not like to remember Otero. In Otero, that night, was when he first
killed and he hoped he would not have to kill in this
of the suppressing of these posts. It was in Otero that Pablo knifed the
sentry when Anselmo
pulled the blanket over his head and the sentry caught Anselmo’s foot and held
it, smothered as he was in the blanket, and made a crying noise in the
blanket and Anselmo
had to feel in the blanket and knife him until he let go of the foot and was
still. He
had his knee across the man’s throat to keep him silent and he was knifing
into the bundle
when Pablo tossed the bomb through the window into the room where the men of
the post were all sleeping. And when the flash came it was as though the
whole world burst
red and yellow before your eyes and two more bombs were in already. Pablo had
pulled
the pins and tossed them quickly through the window, and those who were not killed
in their beds were killed as they rose from bed when the second bomb
exploded. That
was in the great days of Pablo when he scourged the country like a tartar and
no fascist
post was safe at night. And
now, he is as finished and as ended as a boar that has been altered, Anselmo thought,
and, when the altering has been accomplished and the squealing is over you cast
the two stones away and the boar, that is a boar no longer, goes snouting and
rooting
up to them and eats them. No, he is not that bad, Anselmo grinned, one can think
too badly even of Pablo. But he is ugly enough and changed enough. It
is too cold, he thought. That the Inglés should come and that I should not
have to kill in
this of the posts. These four Gallegos and their corporal are for those who
like the killing.
The Inglés said that. I will do it if it is my duty but the Inglés said that
I would be with
him at the bridge and that this would be left to others. At the bridge there
will be a battle
and, if I am able to endure the battle, then I will have done all that an old
man may do
in this war. But let the Inglés come now, for I am cold and to see the light
in the mill where
I know that the Gallegos are warm makes me colder still. I wish that I were
in my own
house again and that this war were over. But you have no house now, he
thought. We
must win this war before you can ever return to your house. Inside
the sawmill one of the soldiers was sitting on his bunk and greasing his
boots. Another
lay in his bunk sleeping. The third was cooking and the corporal was reading
a paper.
Their helmets hung on nails driven into the wall and their rifles leaned
against the plank
wall. “What
kind of country is this where it snows when it is almost June?” the soldier
who was
sitting on the bunk said. “It
is a phenomenon,” the corporal said. “We
are in the moon of May,” the soldier who was cooking said. “The moon of May has
not yet terminated.” “What
kind of a country is it where it snows in May?” the soldier on the bunk
insisted. “In
May snow is no rarity in these mountains,” the corporal said. “I have been
colder in Madrid
in the month of May than in any other month.” “And
hotter, too,” the soldier who was cooking said. “May
is a month of great contrasts in temperature,” the corporal said. “Here, in
Castile, May
is a month of great heat but it can have much cold.” “Or
rain,” the soldier on the bunk said. “In this past May it rained almost every
day.” “It
did not,” the soldier who was cooking said. “And anyway this past May was the
moon
of April.” “One
could go crazy listening to thee and thy moons,” the corporal said. “Leave
this of the
moons alone.” “Any
one who lives either by the sea or by the land knows that it is the moon and
not the
month which counts,” the soldier who was cooking said. “Now for example, we
have just
started the moon of May. Yet it is coming on June.” “Why
then do we not get definitely behind in the seasons?” the corporal said. “The
whole
proposition gives me a headache.” “You
are from a town,” the soldier who was cooking said. “You are from Lugo. What would
you know of the sea or of the land?” “One
learns more in a town than you analfabetos learn in thy sea or thy land.” “In this moon the first of the big schools
of sardines come,” the soldier who was cooking
said. “In this moon the sardine boats will be outfitting and the mackerel
will have gone
north.” “Why
are you not in the navy if you come from Noya?” the corporal asked. “Because
I am not inscribed from Noya but from Negreira, where I was born. And from Negreira,
which is up the river Tambre, they take you for the army.” “Worse
luck,” said the corporal. “Do
not think the navy is without peril,” the soldier who was sitting on the bunk
said. “Even
without the possibility of combat that is a dangerous coast in the winter.” “Nothing
can be worse than the army,” the corporal said. “And
you a corporal,” the soldier who was cooking said. “What a way of speaking is
that?”
“Nay,”
the corporal said. “I mean for dangers. I mean the endurance of bombardments,
the necessity to attack, the life of the parapet.” “Here
we have little of that,” the soldier on the bunk said. “By
the Grace of God,” the corporal said. “But who knows when we will be subject
to it again?
Certainly we will not have something as easy as this forever!” “How
much longer do you think we will have this detail?” “I
don’t know,” the corporal said. “But I wish we could have it for all of the
war.” “Six
hours is too long to be on guard,” the soldier who was cooking said. “We
will have three-hour watches as long as this storm holds,” the corporal said.
“That is
only normal.” “What
about all those staff cars?” the soldier on the bunk asked. “I did not like
the look of
all those staff cars.” “Nor
I,” the corporal said. “All such things are of evil omen.” “And
aviation,” the soldier who was cooking said. “Aviation is another bad sign.” “But
we have formidable aviation,” the corporal said. “The Reds have no aviation
such as
we have. Those planes this morning were something to make any man happy.” “I
have seen the Red planes when they were something serious,” the soldier on
the bunk
said. “I have seen those two motor bombers when they were a horror to
endure.” “Yes.
But they are not as formidable as our aviation,” the corporal said. “We have
an aviation
that is insuperable.” This
was how they were talking in the sawmill while Anselmo waited in the snow watching
the road and the light in the sawmill window. I
hope I am not for the killing, Anselmo was thinking. I think that after the
war there will have
to be some great penance done for the killing. If we no longer have religion
after the
war then I think there must be some form of civic penance organized that all
may be cleansed
from the killing or else we will never have a true and human basis for
living. The
killing is necessary, I know, but still the doing of it is very bad for a man
and I think that,
after all this is over and we have won the war, there must be a penance of
some kind
for the cleansing of us all. Anselmo
was a very good man and whenever he was alone for long, and he was alone
much of the time, this problem of the killing returned to him. I
wonder about the Inglés, he thought. He told me that he did not mind it. Yet
he seems
to be both sensitive and kind. It may be that in the younger people it does
not have
an importance. It may be that in foreigners, or in those who have not had our
religion,
there is not the same attitude. But I think any one doing it will be
brutalized in time
and I think that even though necessary, it is a great sin and that afterwards
we must
do something very strong to atone for it. It
was dark now and he looked at the light across the road and shook his arms
against his
chest to warm them. Now, he thought, he would certainly leave for the camp;
but something
kept him there beside the tree above the road. It was snowing harder and Anselmo
thought: if only we could blow the bridge tonight. On a night like this it
would be nothing
to take the posts and blow the bridge and it would all be over and done with.
On a
night like this you could do anything. Then he stood there against the tree
stamping his feet softly and he did not think any more
about the bridge. The coming of the dark always made him feel lonely and
tonight he
felt so lonely that there was a hollowness in him as of hunger. In the old
days he could
help this loneliness by the saying of prayers and often coming home from
hunting he
would repeat a great number of the same prayer and it made him feel better.
But he had
not prayed once since the movement. He missed the prayers but he thought it would
be unfair and hypocritical to say them and he did not wish to ask any favors
or for any
different treatment than all the men were receiving. No,
he thought, I am lonely. But so are all the soldiers and the Wives of all the
soldiers and
all those who have lost families or parents. I have no wife, but I am glad
that she died
before the movement. She would not have understood it. I have no children and
I never
will have any children. I am lonely in the day when I am not working but when
the dark
comes it is a time of great loneliness. But one thing I have that no man nor
any God
can take from me and that is that I have worked well for the Republic. I have
worked
hard for the good that we will all share later. I have worked my best from
the first of
the movement and I have done nothing that I am ashamed of. All
that I am sorry for is the killing. But surely there will be an opportunity
to atone for that
because for a sin of that sort that so many bear, certainly some just relief
will be devised.
I would like to talk with the Inglés about it but, being young, it is
possible that he
might not understand. He mentioned the killing before. Or was it I that
mentioned it? He
must have killed much, but he shows no signs of liking it. In those who like
it there is always
a rottenness. It
must really be a great sin, he thought. Because certainly it is the one thing
we have no
right to do even though, as I know, it is necessary. But in Spain it is done
too lightly and
often without true necessity and there is much quick injustice which,
afterward, can never
be repaired. I wish I did not think about it so much, he thought. I wish
there were a penance
for it that one could commence now because it is the only thing that I have done
in all my life that makes me feel badly when I am alone. All the other things
are forgiven
or one had a chance to atone for them by kindness or in some decent way. But I
think this of the killing must be a very great sin and I would like to fix it
up. Later on there
may be certain days that one can work for the state or something that one can
do that
will remove it. It will probably be something that one pays as in the days of
the Church,
he thought, and smiled. The Church was well organized for sin. That pleased him
and he was smiling in the dark when Robert Jordan came up to him. He came silently
and the old man did not see him until he was there. “Hola,
viejo,” Robert Jordan whispered and clapped him on the back. “How’s the old one?”
“Very
cold,” Anselmo said. Fernando was standing a little apart, his back turned against
the driving snow. “Come
on,” Robert Jordan whispered. “Get on up to camp and get warm. It was a crime
to leave you here so long.” “That
is their light,” Anselmo pointed. “Where’s
the sentry?” “You
do not see him from here. He is around the bend.” “The
hell with them,” Robert Jordan said. “You tell me at camp. Come on, let’s
go.” “Let
me show you,” Anselmo said. “I’m
going to look at it in the morning,” Robert Jordan said. “Here, take a
swallow of this.”
He
handed the old man his flask. Anselmo tipped it up and swallowed. “Ayee,”
he said and rubbed his mouth. “It is fire.” “Come
on,” Robert Jordan said in the dark. “Let us go.” It
was so dark now you could only see the flakes blowing past and the rigid dark
of the pine
trunks. Fernando was standing a little way up the hill. Look at that cigar
store Indian,
Robert Jordan thought. I suppose I have to offer him a drink. “Hey,
Fernando,” he said as he came up to him. “A swallow?” “No,” said Fernando. “Thank you.” Thank
you, I mean, Robert Jordan thought. I’m glad cigar store Indians don’t drink.
There
isn’t too much of that left. Boy, I’m glad to see this old man, Robert Jordan
thought.
He looked at Anselmo and then clapped him on the back again as they started up
the hill. “I’m
glad to see you, viejo,” he said to Anselmo. “If I ever get gloomy, when I
see you it cheers
me up. Come on, let’s get up there.” They
were going up the hill in the snow. “Back
to the palace of Pablo,” Robert Jordan said to Anselmo. It sounded wonderful
in Spanish.
“El
Palacio del Miedo,” Anselmo said. “The Palace of Fear.” “La
cueva de los huevos perdidos,” Robert Jordan capped the other happily. “The cave
of the lost eggs.” “What
eggs?” Fernando asked. “A
joke,” Robert Jordan said. “Just a joke. Not eggs, you know. The others.” “But
why are they lost?” Fernando asked. “I
don’t know,” said Robert Jordan. “Take a book to tell you. Ask Pilar,” then
he put his arm
around Anselmo’s shoulder and held him tight as they walked and shook him. “Listen,”
he said. “I’m glad to see you, hear? You don’t know what it means to find somebody
in this country in the same place they were left.” It
showed what confidence and intimacy he had that he could say anything against
the country.
“I
am glad to see thee,” Anselmo said. “But I was just about to leave.” “Like
hell you would have,” Robert Jordan said happily. “You’d have frozen first.” “How
was it up above?” Anselmo asked. “Fine,”
said Robert Jordan. “Everything is fine.” He
was very happy with that sudden, rare happiness that can come to any one with
a command
in a revolutionary arm; the happiness of finding that even one of your flanks
holds.
If both flanks ever held I suppose it would be too much to take, he thought.
I don’t know
who is prepared to stand that. And if you extend along a flank, any flank, it
eventually
becomes one man. Yes, one man. This was not the axiom he wanted. But this
was a good man. One good man. You are going to be the left flank when we have
the
battle, he thought. I better not tell you that yet. It’s going to be an
awfully small battle,
he thought. But it’s going to be an awfully good one. Well, I always wanted
to fight
one on my own. I always had an opinion on what was wrong with everybody else’s,
from
Agincourt down. I will have to make this a good one. It is going to be small
but very select.
If I have to do what I think I will have to do it will be very select indeed.
“Listen,”
he said to Anselmo. “I’m awfully glad to see you.” “And
me to see thee,” the old man said. As
they went up the hill in the dark, the wind at their backs, the storm blowing
past them
as they climbed, Anselmo did not feel lonely. He had not been lonely since
the Inglés
had clapped him on the shoulder. The Inglés was pleased and happy and they joked
together. The Inglés said it all went well and he was not worried. The drink
in his stomach
warmed him and his feet were warming now climbing. “Not
much on the road,” he said to the Inglés. “Good,”
the Inglés told him. “You will show me when we get there.” Anselmo
was happy now and he was very pleased that he had stayed there at the post
of observation. If
he had come in to camp it would have been all right. It would have been the intelligent
and correct thing to have done under the circumstances, Robert Jordan was thinking.
But he stayed as he was told, Robert Jordan thought. That’s the rarest thing that
can happen in Spain. To stay in a storm, in a way, corresponds to a lot of
things. It’s not
for nothing that the Germans call an attack a storm. I could certainly use a
couple more
who would stay. I most certainly could. I wonder if that Fernando would stay.
It’s just
possible. After all, he is the one who suggested coming out just now. Do you suppose
he would stay? Wouldn’t that be good? He’s just about stubborn enough. I’ll have
to make some inquiries. Wonder what the old cigar store Indian is thinking
about now.
“What
are you thinking about, Fernando?” Robert Jordan asked. “Why
do you ask?” “Curiosity,”
Robert Jordan said. “I am a man of great curiosity.” “I
was thinking of supper,” Fernando said. “Do
you like to eat?” “Yes.
Very much.” “How’s
Pilar’s cooking?” “Average,”
Fernando answered. He’s
a second Coolidge, Robert Jordan thought. But, you know, I have just a hunch that
he would stay. The
three of them plodded up the hill in the snow. 16 “El Sordo was here,” Pilar said to Robert
Jordan. They had come in out of the storm to the
smoky warmth of the cave and the woman had motioned Robert Jordan over to her
with
a nod of her head. “He’s gone to look for horses.” “Good.
Did he leave any word for me?” “Only
that he had gone for horses.” “And
we?” “No
sé,” she said. “Look at him.” Robert
Jordan had seen Pablo when he came in and Pablo had grinned at him. Now he
looked over at him sitting at the board table and grinned and waved his hand.
“Inglés,”
Pablo called. “It’s still falling, Inglés.” Robert
Jordan nodded at him. “Let
me take thy shoes and dry them,” Maria said. “I will hang them here in the
smoke of
the fire.” “Watch
out you don’t burn them,” Robert Jordan told her. “I don’t want to go around here
barefoot. What’s the matter?” he turned to Pilar. “Is this a meeting? Haven’t
you any
sentries out?” “In
this storm? Qué va.” There
were six men sitting at the table and leaning back against the wall. Anselmo and
Fernando were still shaking the snow from their jackets, beating their
trousers and rapping
their feet against the wall by the entrance. “Let
me take thy jacket,” Maria said. “Do not let the snow melt on it.” Robert
Jordan slipped out of his jacket, beat the snow from his trousers, and untied
his
shoes. “You
will get everything wet here,” Pilar said. “It
was thee who called me.” “Still
there is no impediment to returning to the door for thy brushing.” “Excuse
me,” Robert Jordan said, standing in his bare feet on the dirt floor. “Hunt
me a pair
of socks, Maria.” “The
Lord and Master,” Pilar said and poked a piece of wood into the fire. “Hay
que aprovechar el tiempo,” Robert Jordan told her. “You have to take
advantage of
what time there is.” “It
is locked,” Maria said. “Here
is the key,” and he tossed it over. “It
does not fit this sack.” “It
is the other sack. They are on top and at the side.” The
girl found the pair of socks, closed the sack, locked it and brought them
over with the
key. “Sit
down and put them on and rub thy feet well,” she said. Robert Jordan grinned
at her.
“Thou
canst not dry them with thy hair?” he said for Pilar to hear. “What
a swine,” she said. “First he is the Lord of the Manor. Now he is our ex-Lord
Himself.
Hit him with a chunk of wood, Maria.” “Nay,”
Robert Jordan said to her. “I am joking because I am happy.” “You
are happy?” “Yes,”
he said. “I think everything goes very well.” “Roberto,”
Maria said. “Go sit down and dry thy feet and let me bring thee something to
drink to warm thee.” “You
would think that man had never dampened foot before,” Pilar said. “Nor that a
flake
of snow had ever fallen.” Maria
brought him a sheepskin and put it on the dirt floor of the cave. “There,”
she said. “Keep that under thee until thy shoes are dry.” The
sheepskin was fresh dried and not tanned and as Robert Jordan rested his stocking
feet on it he could feel it crackle like parchment. The
fire was smoking and Pilar called to Maria, “Blow up the fire, worthless one.
This is
no smokehouse.” “Blow
it thyself,” Maria said. “I am searching for the bottle that El Sordo left.” “It
is behind his packs,” Pilar told her. “Must you care for him as a sucking
child?” “No,”
Maria said. “As a man who is cold and wet. And a man who has just come to his
house.
Here it is.” She brought the bottle to where Robert Jordan sat. “It is the
bottle of this
noon. With this bottle one could make a beautiful lamp. When we have
electricity again,
what a lamp we can make of this bottle.” She looked at the pinch-bottle admiringly.
“How do you take this, Roberto?” “I
thought I was Inglés,” Robert Jordan said to her. “I
call thee Roberto before the others,” she said in a low voice and blushed.
“How do you
want it, Roberto?” “Roberto,”
Pablo said thickly and nodded his head at Robert Jordan. “How do you want
it, Don Roberto?” “Do
you want some?” Robert Jordan asked him. Pablo
shook his head. “I am making myself drunk with wine,” he said with dignity. “Go
with Bacchus,” Robert Jordan said in Spanish. “Who
is Bacchus?” Pablo asked. “A
comrade of thine,” Robert Jordan said. “Never
have I heard of him,” Pablo said heavily. “Never in these mountains.” “Give
a cup to Anselmo,” Robert Jordan said to Maria. “It is he who is cold.” He
was putting
on the dry pair of socks and the whiskey and water in the cup tasted clean
and thinly
warming. But it does not curl around inside of you the way the absinthe does,
he thought.
There is nothing like absinthe. Who
would imagine they would have whiskey up here, he thought. But La Granja was the
most likely place in Spain to find it when you thought it over. Imagine Sordo
getting a bottle
for the visiting dynamiter and then remembering to bring it down and leave
it. It wasn’t
just manners that they had. Manners would have been producing the bottle and having
a formal drink. That was what the French would have done and then they would have
saved what was left for another occasion. No, the true thoughtfulness of
thinking the
visitor would like it and then bringing it down for him to enjoy when you
yourself were engaged
in something where there was every reason to think of no one else but
yourself and
of nothing but the matter in hand—that was Spanish. One kind of Spanish, he thought.
Remembering to bring the whiskey was one of the reasons you loved these people.
Don’t go romanticizing them, he thought. There are as many sorts of Spanish
as there
are Americans. But still, bringing the whiskey was very handsome. “How
do you like it?” he asked Anselmo. The
old man was sitting by the fire with a smile on his face, his big hands
holding the cup.
He shook his head. “No?”
Robert Jordan asked him. “The child put water in it,” Anselmo said. “Exactly
as Roberto takes it,” Maria said. “Art thou something special?” “No,”
Anselmo told her. “Nothing special at all. But I like to feel it burn as it
goes down.”
“Give
me that,” Robert Jordan told the girl, “and pour him some of that which
burns.” He
tipped the contents of the cup into his own and handed it back empty to the
girl, who
poured carefully into it from the bottle. “Ah,”
Anselmo took the cup, put his head back and let it run down his throat. He looked
at Maria standing holding the bottle and winked at her, tears coming from
both eyes.
“That,” he said. “That.” Then he licked his lips. “That is what kills the
worm that haunts
us.” “Roberto,”
Maria said and came over to him, still holding the bottle. “Are you ready to eat?”
“Is
it ready?” “It
is ready when you wish it.” “Have
the others eaten?” “All
except you, Anselmo and Fernando.” “Let
us eat then,” he told her. “And thou?” “Afterwards
with Pilar.” “Eat
now with us.” “No.
It would not be well.” “Come
on and eat. In my country a man does not eat before his woman.” “That
is thy country. Here it is better to eat after.” “Eat
with him,” Pablo said, looking up from the table. “Eat with him. Drink with
him. Sleep
with him. Die with him. Follow the customs of his country.” “Are
you drunk?” Robert Jordan said, standing in front of Pablo. The dirty,
stubble- faced
man looked at him happily. “Yes,”
Pablo said. “Where is thy country, Inglés, where the women eat with the men?”
“In
Estados Unidos in the state of Montana.” “Is
it there that the men wear skirts as do the women?” “No.
That is in Scotland.” “But
listen,” Pablo said. “When you wear skirts like that, Inglés—” “I
don’t wear them,” Robert Jordan said. “When
you are wearing those skirts,” Pablo went on, “what do you wear under them?” “I
don’t know what the Scotch wear,” Robert Jordan said. “I’ve wondered myself.”
“Not
the Escoceses,” Pablo said. “Who cares about the Escoceses? Who cares about anything
with a name as rare as that? Not me. I don’t care. You, I say, Inglés. You. What
do you wear under your skirts in your country?” “Twice
I have told you that we do not wear skirts,” Robert Jordan said. “Neither
drunk nor
in joke.” “But
under your skirts,” Pablo insisted. “Since it is well known that you wear
skirts. Even
the soldiers. I have seen photographs and also I have seen them in the Circus
of Price.
What do you wear under your skirts, Inglés?” “Los
cojones,” Robert Jordan said. Anselmo
laughed and so did the others who were listening; all except Fernando. The sound
of the word, of the gross word spoken before the women, was offensive to him.
“Well,
that is normal,” Pablo said. “But it seems to me that with enough cojones you
would
not wear skirts.” “Don’t
let him get started again, Inglés,” the flat-faced man with the broken nose
who was
called Primitivo said. “He is drunk. Tell me, what do they raise in your
country?” “Cattle
and sheep,” Robert Jordan said. “Much grain also and beans. And also much beets
for sugar.” The
three were at the table now and the others sat close by except Pablo, who sat
by himself
in front of a bowl of the wine. It was the same stew as the night before and Robert
Jordan ate it hungrily. “In your country there are mountains? With
that name surely there are mountains,” Primitivo
asked politely to make conversation. He was embarrassed at the drunkenness of
Pablo. “Many
mountains and very high.” “And
are there good pastures?” “Excellent;
high pasture in the summer in forests controlled by the government. Then in
the fall the cattle are brought down to the lower ranges.” “Is
the land there owned by the peasants?” “Most
land is owned by those who farm it. Originally the land was owned by the
state and
by living on it and declaring the intent~on of improving it, a man could
obtain a title to
a hundred and fifty hectares.” “Tell
me how this is done,” Agustín asked. “That is an agrarian reform which means something.”
Robert
Jordan explained the process of homesteading. He had never thought of it before
as an agrarian reform. “That
is magnificent,” Primitivo said. “Then you have a communism in your country?”
“No.
That is done under the Republic.” “For
me,” Agustín said, “everything can be done under the Republic. I see no need
for other
form of government.” “Do
you have no big proprietors?” Andrés asked. “Many.”
“Then
there must be abuses.” “Certainly.
There are many abuses.” “But
you will do away with them?” “We
try to more and more. But there are many abuses still.” “But
there are not great estates that must be broken up?” “Yes.
But there are those who believe that taxes will break them up.” “How?”
Robert
Jordan, wiping out the stew bowl with bread, explained how the income tax and
inheritance tax worked. “But the big estates remain. Also there are taxes on
the land,”
he said. “But
surely the big proprietors and the rich will make a revolution against such
taxes. Such
taxes appear to me to be revolutionary. They will revolt against the
government when
they see that they are threatened, exactly as the fascists have done here,” Primitivo
said. “It
is possible.” “Then
you will have to fight in your country as we fight here.” “Yes,
we will have to fight.” “But
are there not many fascists in your country?” “There
are many who do not know they are fascists but will find it out when the time
comes.”
“But
you cannot destroy them until they rebel?” “No,”
Robert Jordan said. “We cannot destroy them. But we can educate the people so
that they will fear fascism and recognize it as it appears and combat it.” “Do
you know where there are no fascists?” Andrés asked. “Where?”
“In
the town of Pablo,” Andrés said and grinned. “You
know what was done in that village?” Primitivo asked Robert Jordan. “Yes.
I have heard the story.” “From
Pilar?” “Yes.”
“You
could not hear all of it from the woman,” Pablo said heavily. “Because she
did not see
the end of it because she fell from a chair outside of the window.” “You
tell him what happened then,” Pilar said. “Since I know not the story, let
you tell it.”
“Nay,” Pablo said. “I have never told it.” “No,”
Pilar said. “And you will not tell it. And now you wish it had not happened.”
“No,”
Pablo said. “That is not true. And if all had killed the fascists as I did we
would not
have this war. But I would not have had it happen as it happened.” “Why
do you say that?” Primitivo asked him. “Are you changing your politics?” “No.
But it was barbarous,” Pablo said. “In those days I was very barbarous.” “And
now you are drunk,” Pilar said. “Yes,”
Pablo said. “With your permission.” “I
liked you better when you were barbarous,” the woman said. “Of all men the drunkard
is the foulest. The thief when he is not stealing is like another. The
extortioner does
not practise in the home. The murderer when he is at home can wash his hands.
But
the drunkard stinks and vomits in his own bed and dissolves his organs in
alcohol.” “You
are a woman and you do not understand,” Pablo said equably. “I am drunk on wine
and I would be happy except for those people I have killed. All of them fill
me with sorrow.”
He shook his head lugubriously. “Give
him some of that which Sordo brought,” Pilar said. “Give him something to animate
him. He is becoming too sad to bear.” “If
I could restore them to life, I would,” Pablo said. “Go
and obscenity thyself,” Agustín said to him. “What sort of place is this?” “I
would bring them all back to life,” Pablo said sadly. “Every one.” “Thy
mother,” Agustín shouted at him. “Stop talking like this or get out. Those
were fascists
you killed.” “You
heard me,” Pablo said. “I would restore them all to life.” “And
then you would walk on the water,” Pilar said. “In my life I have never seen
such a
man. Up until yesterday you preserved some remnants of manhood. And today
there is
not enough of you left to make a sick kitten. Yet you are happy in your
soddenness.” “We
should have killed all or none,” Pablo nodded his head. “All or none.” “Listen,
Inglés,” Agustín said. “How did you happen to come to Spain? Pay no attention
to Pablo. He is drunk.” “I
came first twelve years ago to study the country and the language,” Robert
Jordan said.
“I teach Spanish in a university.” “You
look very little like a professoi” Primitivo said. “He
has no beard,” Pablo said. “Look at him. He has no beard.” “Are
you truly a professor?” “An
instructor.” “But
you teach?” “Yes.”
“But
why Spanish?” Andrés asked. “Would it not be easier to teach English since
you are
English?” “He
speaks Spanish as we do,” Anselmo said. “Why should he not teach Spanish?” “Yes.
But it is, in a way, presumptuous for a foreigner to teach Spanish,” Fernando
said.
“I mean nothing against you, Don Roberto.” “He’s
a false professor,” Pablo said, very pleased with himself. “He hasn’t got a beard.”
“Surely
you know English better,” Fernando said. “Would it not be better and easier and
clearer to teach English?” “He
doesn’t teach it to Spaniards—” Pilar started to intervene. “I
should hope not,” Fernando said. “Let
me finish, you mule,” Pilar said to him. “He teaches Spanish to Americans.
North Americans.”
“Can
they not speak Spanish?” Fernando asked. “South Americans can.” “Mule,”
Pilar said. “He teaches Spanish to North Americans who speak English.” “Still
and all I think it would be easier for him to teach English if that is what
he speaks,”
Fernando said. “Can’t
you hear he speaks Spanish?” Pilar shook her head hopelessly at Robert Jordan.
“Yes.
But with an accent.” “Of
where?” Robert Jordan asked. “Of
Estremadura,” Fernando said primly. “Oh
my mother,” Pilar said. “What a people!” “It
is possible,” Robert Jordan said. “I have come here from there.” “As
he well knows,” Pilar said. “You old maid,” she turned to Fernando. “Have you
had enough
to eat?” “I
could eat more if there is a sufficient quantity,” Fernando told her. “And do
not think that
I wish to say anything against you, Don Roberto—” “Milk,”
Agustín said simply. “And milk again. Do we make the revolution in order to
say Don
Roberto to a comrade?” “For
me the revolution is so that all will say Don to all,” Fernando said. “Thus
should it be
under the Republic.” “Milk,”
Agustín said. “Black milk.” “And
I still think it would be easier and clearer for Don Roberto to teach
English.” “Don
Roberto has no beard,” Pablo said. “He is a false professor.” “What
do you mean, I have no beard?” Robert Jordan said. “What’s this?” He stroked his
chin and his cheeks where the threeday growth made a blond stubble. “Not
a beard,” Pablo said. He shook his head. “That’s not a beard.” He was almost jovial
now. “He’s a false professor.” “I
obscenity in the milk of all,” Agustín said, “if it does not seem like a
lunatic asylum here.”
“You
should drink,” Pablo said to him. “To me everything appears normal. Except
the lack
of beard of Don Roberto.” Maria
ran her hand over Robert Jordan’s cheek. “He
has a beard,” she said to Pablo. “You
should know,” Pablo said and Robert Jordan looked at him. I
don’t think he is so drunk, Robert Jordan thought. No, not so drunk. And I
think I had better
watch myself. “Thou,”
he said to Pablo. “Do you think this snow will last?” “What
do you think?” “I
asked you.” “Ask
another,” Pablo told him. “I am not thy service of information. You have a
paper from
thy service of information. Ask the woman. She commands.” “I
asked thee.” “Go
and obscenity thyself,” Pablo told him. “Thee and the woman and the girl.” “He
is drunk,” Primitivo said. “Pay him no heed, Inglés.” “I
do not think he is so drunk,” Robert Jordan said. Maria
was standing behind him and Robert Jordan saw Pablo watching her over his shoulder.
The small eyes, like a boar’s, were watching her out of the round, stubble- covered
head and Robert Jordan thought: I have known many killers in this war and some
before and they were all different; there is no common trait nor feature; nor
any such
thing as the criminal type; but Pablo is certainly not handsome. “I
don’t believe you can drink,” he said to Pablo. “Nor that you’re drunk.” “I
am drunk,” Pablo said with dignity. “To drink is nothing. It is to be drunk
that is important.
Estoy muy borracho.” “I
doubt it,” Robert Jordan told him. “Cowardly, yes.” It
was so quiet in the cave, suddenly, that he could hear the hissing noise the
wood made
burning on the hearth where Pilar cooked. He heard the sheepskin crackle as
he rested
his weight on his feet. He thought he could almost hear the snow falling
outside. He
could not, but he could hear the silence where it fell. I’d
like to kill him and have it over with, Robert Jordan was thinking. I don’t
know what he
is going to do, but it is nothing good. Day after tomorrow is the bridge and
this man is bad
and he constitutes a danger to the success of the whole enterprise. Come on.
Let us
get it over with. Pablo
grinned at him and put one finger up and wiped it across his throat. He shook
his
head that turned only a little each way on his thick, short neck. “Nay,
Inglés,” he said. “Do not provoke me.” He looked at Pilar and said to her,
“It is not
thus that you get rid of me.” “Sinverguenza,”
Robert Jordan said to him, committed now in his own mind to the action.
“Cobarde.” “It
is very possible,” Pablo said. “But I am not to be provoked. Take something
to drink, Inglés,
and signal to the woman it was not successful.” “Shut
thy mouth,” Robert Jordan said. “I provoke thee for myself.” “It
is not worth the trouble,” Pablo told him. “I do not provoke.” “Thou
art a bicho raro,” Robert Jordan said, not wanting to let it go; not wanting
to have
it fail for the second time; knowing as he spoke that this had all been gone
through before;
having that feeling that he was playing a part from memory of something that
he had
read or had dreamed, feeling it all moving in a circle. “Very
rare, yes,” Pablo said. “Very rare and very drunk. To your health, Inglés.”
He dipped
a cup in the wine bowl and held it up. “Salud y cojones.” He’s
rare, all right, Robert Jordan thought, and smart, and very complicated. He
could no
longer hear the fire for the sound of his own breathing. “Here’s
to you,” Robert Jordan said, and dipped a cup into the wine. Betrayal
wouldn’t amount
to anything without all these pledges, he thought. Pledge up. “Salud,” he
said. “Salud
and Salud again,” you salud, he thought. Salud, you salud. “Don
Roberto,” Pablo said heavily. “Don
Pablo,” Robert Jordan said. “You’re
no professor,” Pablo said, “because you haven’t got a beard. And also to do away
with me you have to assassinate me and, for this, you have not cojones.” He
was looking at Robert Jordan with his mouth closed so that his lips made a
tight line,
like the mouth of a fish, Robert Jordan thought. With that head it is like one
of those porcupine
fish that swallow air and swell up after they are caught. “Salud,
Pablo,” Robert Jordan said and raised the cup up and drank from it. “I am learning
much from thee.” “I
am teaching the professor,” Pablo nodded his head. “Come on, Don Roberto, we
will be
friends.” “We
are friends already,” Robert Jordan said. “But
now we will be good friends.” “We
are good friends already.” “I’m
going to get out of here,” Agustín said. “Truly, it is said that we must eat
a ton of it in
this life but I have twenty-five pounds of it stuck in each of my ears this
minute.” “What
is the matter, negro?” Pablo said to him. “Do you not like to see friendship between
Don Roberto and me?” “Watch
your mouth about calling me negro.” Agustín went over to him and stood in front
of Pablo holding his hands low. “So
you are called,” Pablo said. “Not
by thee.” “Well,
then, blanco—” “Nor
that, either.” “What
are you then, Red?” “Yes.
Red. Rojo. With the Red star of the army and in favor of the Republic. And my
name
is Agustín.” “What
a patriotic man,” Pablo said. “Look, Inglés, what an exemplary patriot.” Agustín
hit him hard across the mouth with his left hand, bringing it forward in a slapping,
backhand sweep. Pablo sat there. The corners of his mouth were wine-stained and
his expression did not change, but Robert Jordan watched his eyes narrow, as
a cat’s
pupils close to vertical slits in a strong light. “Nor
this,” Pablo said. “Do not count on this, woman.” He turned his head toward
Pilar. “I
am not provoked.” Agustín
hit him again. This time he hit him on the mouth with his closed fist. Robert
Jordan
was holding his pistol in his hand under the table. He had shoved the safety catch
off and he pushed Maria away with his left hand. She moved a little way and
he pushed
her hard in the ribs with his left hand again to make her get really away.
She was
gone now and he saw her from the corner of his eye, slipping along the side
of the cave
toward the fire and now Robert Jordan watched Pablo’s face. The
round-headed man sat staring at Agustín from his flat little eyes. The pupils
were even
smaller now. He licked his lips then, put up an arm and wiped his mouth with
the back
of his hand, looked down and saw the blood on his hand. He ran his tongue
over his
lips, then spat. “Nor
that,” he said. “I am not a fool. I do not provoke.” “Cabrón,”
Agustín said. “You
should know,” Pablo said. “You know the woman.” Agustín
hit him again hard in the mouth and Pablo laughed at him, showing the yellow,
bad,
broken teeth in the reddened line of his mouth. “Leave
it alone,” Pablo said and reached with a cup to scoop some wine from the bowl.
“Nobody here has cojones to kill me and this of the hands is silly.” “Cobarde,”
Agustín said. “Nor
words either,” Pablo said and made a swishing noise rinsing the wine in his mouth.
He spat on the floor. “I am far past words.” Agustín
stood there looking down at him and cursed him, speaking slowly, clearly, bitterly
and contemptuously and cursing as steadily as though he were dumping manure on
a field, lifting it with a dung fork out of a wagon. “Nor
of those,” Pablo said. “Leave it, Agustín. And do not hit me more. Thou wilt
injure thy
hands.” Agustín
turned from him and went to the door. “Do
not go out,” Pablo said. “It is snowing outside. Make thyself comfortable in
here.” “And
thou! Thou!” Agustín turned from the door and spoke to him, putting all his contempt
in the single, “Tu.” “Yes,
me,” said Pablo. “I will be alive when you are dead.” He
dipped up another cup of wine and raised it to Robert Jordan. “To the
professor,” he
said. Then turned to Pilar. “To the Señora Commander.” Then toasted them all,
“To all
the illusioned ones.” Agustín
walked over to him and, striking quickly with the side of his hand, knocked
the cup
out of his hand. “That
is a waste,” Pablo said. “That is silly.” Agustín
said something vile to him. “No,”
Pablo said, dipping up another cup. “I am drunk, seest thou? When I am not drunk
I do not talk. You have never heard me talk much. But an intelligent man is sometimes
forced to be drunk to spend his time with fools.” “Go
and obscenity in the milk of thy cowardice,” Pilar said to him. “I know too
much about
thee and thy cowardice.” “How
the woman talks,” Pablo said. “I will be going out to see the horses.” “Go
and befoul them,” Agustín said. “Is not that one of thy customs?” “No,”
Pablo said and shook his head. He was taking down his big blanket cape from the
wall and he looked at Agustín. “Thou,” he said, “and thy violence.” “What
do you go to do with the horses?” Agustín said. “Look
to them,” Pablo said. “Befoul
them,” Agustín said. “Horse lover.” “I
care for them very much,” Pablo said. “Even from behind they are handsomer
and have
more sense than these people. Divert yourselves,” he said and grinned. “Speak
to them
of the bridge, Inglés. Explain their duties in the attack. Tell them how to
conduct the
retreat. Where will you take them, Inglés, after the bridge? Where will you
take your patriots?
I have thought of it all day while I have been drinking.” “What have you thought?” Agustín asked. “What
have I thought?” Pablo said and moved his tongue around exploringly inside
his lips.
“Qué te importa, what have I thought.” “Say
it,” Agustín said to him. “Much,”
Pablo said. He pulled the blanket coat over his head, the roundness of his head
protruding now from the dirty yellow folds of the blanket. “I have thought much.”
“What?”
Agustín said. “What?” “I
have thought you are a group of illusioned people,” Pablo said. “Led by a
woman with
her brains between her thighs and a foreigner who comes to destroy you.” “Get
out,” Pilar shouted at him. “Get out and fist yourself into the snow. Take
your bad milk
out of here, you horse exhausted maricon.” “Thus
one talks,” Agustín said admiringly, but absent-mindedly. He was worried. “I
go,” said Pablo. “But I will be back shortly.” He lifted the blanket over the
door of the cave
and stepped out. Then from the door he called, “It’s still falling, Inglés.” 17 The only noise in the cave now was the
hissing from the hearth where snow was falling
through the hole in the roof onto the coals of the fire. “Pilar,”
Fernando said. “Is there more of the stew?” “Oh,
shut up,” the woman said. But Maria took Fernando’s bowl over to the big pot
set back
from the edge of the fire and ladled into it. She brought it over to the
table and set it
down and then patted Fernando on the shoulder as he bent to eat. She stood
for a moment
beside him, her hand on his shoulder. But Fernando did not look up. He was devoting
himself to the stew. Agustín
stood beside the fire. The others were seated. Pilar sat at the table
opposite Robert
Jordan. “Now,
Inglés,” she said, “you have seen how he is.” “What
will he do?” Robert Jordan asked. “Anything,”
the woman looked down at the table. “Anything. He is capable of doing anything.”
“Where
is the automatic rifle?” Robert Jordan asked. “There
in the corner wrapped in the blanket,” Primitivo said. “Do you want it?” “Later,”
Robert Jordan said. “I wished to know where it is.” “It
is there,” Primitivo said. “I brought it in and I have wrapped it in my
blanket to keep the
action dry. The pans are in that sack.” “He
would not do that,” Pilar said. “He would not do anything with the máquina.” “I
thought you said he would do anything.” “He
might,” she said. “But he has no practice with the máquina. He could toss in
a bomb.
That is more his style.” “It
is an idiocy and a weakness not to have killed him,” the gypsy said. He had
taken no
part in any of the talk all evening. “Last night Roberto should have killed
him.” “Kill
him,” Pilar said. Her big face was dark and tired looking. “I am for it now.”
“I
was against it,” Agustín said. He stood in front of the fire, his long arms
hanging by his
sides, his cheeks, stubble-shadowed below the cheekbones, hollow in the
firelight. “Now
I am for it,” he said. “He is poisonous now and he would like to see us all destroyed.”
“Let
all speak,” Pilar said and her voice was tired. “Thou, Andrés?” “Matarlo,”
the brother with the dark hair growing far down in the point on his forehead said
and nodded his head. “Eladio?”
“Equally,”
the other brother said. “To me he seems to constitute a great danger. And he
serves for nothing.” “Primitivo?”
“Equally.”
“Fernando?” “Could
we not hold him as a prisoner?” Fernando asked. “Who
would look after a prisoner?” Primitivo said. “It would take two men to look
after a
prisoner and what would we do with him in the end?” “We
could sell him to the fascists,” the gypsy said. “None
of that,” Agustín said. “None of that filthiness.” “It
was only an idea,” Rafael, the gypsy, said. “It seems to me that the
facciosos would be
happy to have him.” “Leave
it alone,” Agustín said. “That is filthy.” “No
filthier than Pablo,” the gypsy justified himself. “One
filthiness does not justify another,” Agustín said. “Well, that is all.
Except for the old
man and the Inglés.” “They
are not in it,” Pilar said. “He has not been their leader.” “One
moment,” Fernando said. “I have not finished.” “Go
ahead,” Pilar said. “Talk until he comes back. Talk until he rolls a hand
grenade under
that blanket and blows this all up. Dynamite and all.” “I
think that you exaggerate, Pilar,” Fernando said. “I do not think that he has
any such conception.”
“I
do not think so either,” Agustín said. “Because that would blow the wine up
too and he
will be back in a little while to the wine.” “Why
not turn him over to El Sordo and let El Sordo sell him to the fascists?”
Rafael suggested.
“You could blind him and he would be easy to handle.” “Shut
up,” Pilar said. “I feel something very justified against thee too when thou talkest.”
“The
fascists would pay nothing for him anyway,” Primitivo said. “Such things have
been
tried by others and they pay nothing. They will shoot thee too.” “I
believe that blinded he could be sold for something,” Rafael said. “Shut
up,” Pilar said. “Speak of blinding again and you can go with the other.” “But,
he, Pablo, blinded the guardia civil who was wounded,” the gypsy insisted.
“You have
forgotten that?” “Close
thy mouth,” Pilar said to him. She was embarrassed before Robert Jordan by this
talk of blinding. “I
have not been allowed to finish,” Fernando interrupted. “Finish,”
Pilar told him. “Go on. Finish.” “Since
it is impractical to hold Pablo as a prisoner,” Fernando commenced, “and
since it
is repugnant to offer him—” “Finish,”
Pilar said. “For the love of God, finish.” “—in
any class of negotiation,” Fernando proceeded calmly, “I am agreed that it is
perhaps
best that he should be eliminated in order that the operations projected
should be
insured of the maximum possibility of success.” Pilar
looked at the little man, shook her head, bit her lips and said nothing. “That
is my opinion,” Fernando said. “I believe we are justified in believing that
he constitutes
a danger to the Republic—” “Mother
of God,” Pilar said. “Even here one man can make a bureaucracy with his mouth.”
“Both
from his own words and his recent actions,” Fernando continued. “And while he
is
deserving of gratitude for his actions in the early part of the movement and
up until the most
recent time—” Pilar
had walked over to the fire. Now she came up to the table. “Fernando,”
Pilar said quietly and handed a bowl to him. “Take this stew please in all formality
and fill thy mouth with it and talk no more. We are in possession of thy opinion.”
“But,
how then—” Primitivo asked and paused without completing the sentence. “Estoy
listo,” Robert Jordan said. “I am ready to do it. Since you are all decided
that it should
be done it is a service that I can do.” What’s the matter? he thought. From
listening to him I am beginning to talk like Fernando.
That language must be infectious. French, the language of diplomacy. Spanish,
the language of bureaucracy. “No,”
Maria said. “No.” “This
is none of thy business,” Pilar said to the girl. “Keep thy mouth shut.” “I
will do it tonight,” Robert Jordan said. He
saw Pilar looking at him, her fingers on her lips. She was looking toward the
door. The
blanket fastened across the opening of the cave was lifted and Pablo put his
head in.
He grinned at them all, pushed under the blanket and then turned and fastened
it again.
He turned around and stood there, then pulled the blanket cape over his head and
shook the snow from it. “You
were speaking of me?” he addressed them all. “I am interrupting?” No
one answered him and he hung the cape on a peg in the wall and walked over to
the
table. “Qué
tal?” he asked and picked up his cup which had stood empty on the table and dipped
it into the wine bowl. “There is no wine,” he said to Maria. “Go draw some
from the
skin.” Maria
picked up the bowl and went over to the dusty, heavily distended,
black-tarred wineskin
that hung neck down from the wall and unscrewed the plug from one of the legs
enough so that the wine squirted from the edge of the plug into the bowl.
Pablo watched
her kneeling, holding the bowl up and watched the light red wine flooding
into the
bowl so fast that it made a whirling motion as it filled it. “Be
careful,” he said to her. “The wine’s below the chest now.” No
one said anything. “I
drank from the belly-button to the chest today,” Pablo said. “It’s a day’s
work. What’s the
matter with you all? Have you lost your tongues?” No
one said anything at all. “Screw
it up, Maria,” Pablo said. “Don’t let it spill.” “There’ll
be plenty of wine,” Agustín said. “You’ll be able to be drunk.” “One
has encountered his tongue,” Pablo said and nodded to Agustín.
“Felicitations. I thought
you’d been struck dumb.” “By
what?” Agustín asked. “By
my entry.” “Thinkest
thou that thy entry carries importance?” He’s
working himself up to it, maybe, Robert Jordan thought. Maybe Agustín is
going to
do it. He certainly hates him enough. I don’t hate him, he thought. No, I
don’t hate him.
He is disgusting but I do not hate him. Though that blinding business puts
him in a special
class. Still this is their war. But he is certainly nothing to have around
for the next two
days. I am going to keep away out of it, he thought. I made a fool of myself
with him once
tonight and I am perfectly willing to liquidate him. But I am not going to
fool with him
beforehand. And there are not going to be any shooting matches or monkey business
in here with that dynamite around either. Pablo thought of that, of course.
And did
you think of it, he said to himself? No, you did not and neither did Agustín.
You deserve
whatever happens to you, he thought. “Agustín,”
he said. “What?”
Agustín looked up sullenly and turned his head away from Pablo. “I
wish to speak to thee,” Robert Jordan said. “Later.”
“Now,”
Robert Jordan said. “Por favor.” Robert
Jordan had walked to the opening of the cave and Pablo followed him with his eyes.
Agustín, tall and sunken cheeked, stood up and came over to him. He moved reluctantly
and contemptuously. “Thou
hast forgotten what is in the sacks?” Robert Jordan said to him, speaking so
low that
it could not be heard. “Milk!”
Agustín said. “One becomes accustomed and one forgets.” “I, too, forgot.” “Milk!”
Agustín said. “Leche! What fools we are.” He swung back loose-jointedly to
the table
and sat down. “Have a drink, Pablo, old boy,” he said. “How were the horses?”
“Very
good,” Pablo said. “And it is snowing less.” “Do
you think it will stop?” “Yes,”
Pablo said. “It is thinning now and there are small, hard pellets. The wind
will blow
but the snow is going. The wind has changed.” “Do
you think it will clear tomorrow?” Robert Jordan asked him. “Yes,”
Pablo said. “I believe it will be cold and clear. This wind is shifting.” Look
at him, Robert Jordan thought. Now he is friendly. He has shifted like the
wind. He
has the face and the body of a pig and I know he is many times a murderer and
yet he
has the sensitivity of a good aneroid. Yes, he thought, and the pig is a very
intelligent animal,
too. Pablo has hatred for us, or perhaps it is only for our projects, and
pushes his
hatred with insults to the point where you are ready to do away with him and
when he
sees that this point has been reached he drops it and starts all new and
clean again. “We
will have good weather for it, Inglés,” Pablo said to Robert Jordan. “We,”
Pilar said. “We?” “Yes,
we,” Pablo grinned at her and drank some of the wine. “Why not? I thought it over
while I was outside. Why should we not agree?” “In
what?” the woman asked. “In what now?” “In
all,” Pablo said to her. “In this of the bridge. I am with thee now.” “You
are with us now?” Agustín said to him. “After what you have said?” “Yes,”
Pablo told him. “With the change of the weather I am with thee.” Agustín
shook his head. “The weather,” he said and shook his head again. “And after me
hitting thee in the face?” “Yes,”
Pablo grinned at him and ran his fingers over his lips. “After that too.” Robert
Jordan was watching Pilar. She was looking at Pablo as at some strange animal.
On her face there was still a shadow of the expression the mention of the blinding
had put there. She shook her head as though to be rid of that, then tossed it
back.
“Listen,” she said to Pablo. “Yes,
woman.” “What
passes with thee?” “Nothing,”
Pablo said. “I have changed my opinion. Nothing more.” “You
were listening at the door,” she told him. “Yes,”
he said. “But I could hear nothing.” “You
fear that we will kill thee.” “No,”
he told her and looked at her over the wine cup. “I do not fear that. You
know that.”
“Well,
what passes with thee?” Agustín said. “One moment you are drunk and putting your
mouth on all of us and disassociating yourself from the work in hand and
speaking of
our death in a dirty manner and insulting the women and opposing that which
should be
done—” “I
was drunk,” Pablo told him. “And
now—” “I
am not drunk,” Pablo said. “And I have changed my mind.” “Let
the others trust thee. I do not,” Agustín said. “Trust
me or not,” Pablo said. “But there is no one who can take thee to Gredos as I
can.”
“Gredos?”
“It
is the only place to go after this of the bridge.” Robert
Jordan, looking at Pilar, raised his hand on the side away from Pablo and tapped
his right ear questioningly. The
woman nodded. Then nodded again. She said something to Maria and the girl came
over to Robert Jordan’s side. “She
says, ‘Of course he heard,” Maria said in Robert Jordan’s ear. “Then Pablo,” Fernando said judicially.
“Thou art with us now and in favor of this of the bridge?”
“Yes,
man,” Pablo said. He looked Fernando squarely in the eye and nodded. “In
truth?” Primitivo asked. “De
veras,” Pablo told him. “And
you think it can be successful?” Fernando asked. “You now have confidence?” “Why
not?” Pablo said. “Haven’t you confidence?” “Yes,”
Fernando said. “But I always have confidence.” “I’m
going to get out of here,” Agustín said. “It
is cold outside,” Pablo told him in a friendly tone. “Maybe,”
Agustín said. “But I can’t stay any longer in this manicomio.” “Do
not call this cave an insane asylum,” Fernando said. “A
manicomio for criminal lunatics,” Agustín said. “And I’m getting out before
I’m crazy, too.”
18 It is like a merry-go-round, Robert Jordan
thought. Not a merry-goround that travels fast,
and with a calliope for music, and the children ride on cows with gilded
horns, and there
are rings to catch with sticks, and there is the blue, gas-flare-lit early
dark of the Avenue
du Maine, with fried fish sold from the next stall, and a wheel of fortune
turning with
the leather flaps slapping against the posts of the numbered compartments,
and the packages
of lump sugar piled in pyramids for prizes. No, it is not that kind of a
merrygo- round;
although the people are waiting, like the men in caps and the women in
knitted sweaters,
their heads bare in the gaslight and their hair shining, who stand in front
of the wheel
of fortune as it spins. Yes, those are the people. But this is another wheel.
This is like
a wheel that goes up and around. It
has been around twice now. It is a vast wheel, set at an angle, and each time
it goes around
and then is back to where it starts. One side is higher than the other and
the sweep
it makes lifts you back and down to where you started. There are no prizes either,
he thought, and no one would choose to ride this wheel. You ride it each time
and
make the turn with no intention ever to have mounted. There is only one turn;
one large,
elliptical, rising and falling turn and you are back where you have started.
We are back
again now, he thought, and nothing is settled. It
was warm in the cave and the wind had dropped outside. Now he was sitting at
the table
with his notebook in front of him figuring all the technical part of the
bridge-blowing. He
drew three sketches, figured his formulas, marked the method of blowing with
two drawings
as clearly as a kindergarten project so that Anselmo could complete it in
case anything
should happen to himself during the process of the demolition. He finished these
sketches and studied them. Maria
sat beside him and looked over his shoulder while he worked. He was conscious
of Pablo across the table and of the others talking and playing cards and he smelled
the odors of the cave which had changed now from those of the meal and the cooking
to the fire smoke and man smell, the tobacco, red-wine and brassy, stale body
smell,
and when Maria, watching him finishing a drawing, put her hand on the table
he picked
it up with his left hand and lifted it to his face and smelled the coarse
soap and water
freshness from her washing of the dishes. He laid her hand down without
looking at
her and went on working and he could not see her blush. She let her hand lie
there, close
to his, but he did not lift it again. Now
he had finished the demolition project and he took a new page of the notebook
and
commenced to write out the operation orders. He was thinking clearly and well
on these
and what he wrote pleased him. He wrote two pages in the notebook and read them
over carefully. I
think that is all, he said to himself. It is perfectly clear and I do not
think there are any holes
in it. The two posts will be destroyed and the bridge will be blown according
to Golz’s
orders and that is all of my responsibility. All of this business of Pablo is
something
with which I should never have been saddled and it will be solved one way or another.
There will be Pablo or there will be no Pablo. I care nothing about it either
way. But
I am not going to get on that wheel again. Twice I have been on that wheel
and twice
it has gone around and come back to where it started and I am taking no more rides
on it. He
shut the notebook and looked up at Maria. “Hola, guapa,” he said to her. “Did
you make
anything out of all that?” “No,
Roberto,” the girl said and put her hand on his hand that still held the
pencil. “Have
you finished?” “Yes.
Now it is all written out and ordered.” “What
have you been doing, Inglés?” Pablo asked from across the table. His eyes were
bleary again. Robert
Jordan looked at him closely. Stay off that wheel, he said to himself. Don’t
step on
that wheel. I think it is going to start to swing again. “Working
on the problem of the bridge,” he said civilly. “How
is it?” asked Pablo. “Very
good,” Robert Jordan said. “All very good.” “I
have been working on the problem of the retreat,” Pablo said and Robert
Jordan looked
at his drunken pig eyes and at the wine bowl. The wine bowl was nearly empty.
Keep
off the wheel, he told himself. He is drinking again. Sure. But don’t you get
on that
wheel now. Wasn’t Grant supposed to be drunk a good part of the time during
the Civil
War? Certainly he was. I’ll bet Grant would be furious at the comparison if
he could see
Pablo. Grant was a cigar smoker, too. Well, he would have to see about
getting Pablo
a cigar. That was what that face really needed to complete it; a half chewed
cigar. Where
could he get Pablo a cigar? “How
does it go?” Robert Jordan asked politely. “Very
well,” Pablo said and nodded his head heavily and judiciously. “Muy bien.” “You’ve
thought up something?” Agustín asked from where they were playing cards. “Yes,”
Pablo said. “Various things.” “Where
did you find them? In that bowl?” Agustín demanded. “Perhaps,”
Pablo said. “Who knows? Maria, fill the bowl, will you, please?” “In
the wineskin itself there should be some fine ideas,” Agustín turned back to
the card
game. “Why don’t you crawl in and look for them inside the skin?” “Nay,”
said Pablo equably. “I search for them in the bowl.” He is
not getting on the wheel either, Robert Jordan thought. It must be revolving
by itself.
I suppose you cannot ride that wheel too long. That is probably quite a
deadly wheel.
I’m glad we are off of it. It was making me dizzy there a couple of times. But
it is the
thing that drunkards and those who are truly mean or cruel ride until they
die. It goes around
and up and the swing is never quite the same and then it comes around down. Let
it swing, he thought. They will not get me onto it again. No sir, General
Grant, I am off
that wheel. Pilar
was sitting by the fire, her chair turned so that she could see over the
shoulders of
the two card players who had their backs to her. She was watching the game. Here
it is the shift from deadliness to normal family life that is the strangest,
Robert Jordan
thought. It is when the damned wheel comes down that it gets you. But I am
off that
wheel, he thought. And nobody is going to get me onto it again. Two
days ago I never knew that Pilar, Pablo nor the rest existed, he thought.
There was
no such thing as Maria in the world. It was certainly a much simpler world. I
had instructions
from Golz that were perfectly clear and seemed perfectly possible to carry out
although they presented certain difficulties and involved certain
consequences. After we
blew the bridge I expected either to get back to the lines or not get back
and if we got
back I was going to ask for some time in Madrid. No one has any leave in this
war but
I am sure I could get two or three days in Madrid. In
Madrid I wanted to buy some books, to go to the Florida Hotel and get a room
and to
have a hot bath, he thought. I was going to send Luis the porter out for a
bottle of absinthe
if he could locate one at the MantequerIas Leonesas or at any of the places
off the
Gran Via and I was going to lie in bed and read after the bath and drink a
couple of absinthes
and then I was going to call up Gaylord’s and see if I could come up there
and eat.
He
did not want to eat at the Gran Via because the food was no good really and
you had
to get there on time or whatever there was of it would be gone. Also there
were too many
newspaper men there he knew and he did not want to have to keep his mouth shut.
He wanted to drink the absinthes and to feel like talking and then go up to Gaylord’s
and eat with Karkov, where they had good food and real beer, and find out what
was going on in the war. He
had not liked Gaylord’s, the hotel in Madrid the Russians had taken over when
he first
went there because it seemed too luxurious and the food was too good for a besieged
city and the talk too cynical for a war. But I corrupted very easily, he
thought. Why
should you not have as good food as could be organized when you came back from
something like this? And the talk that he had thought of as cynicism when he
had first
heard it had turned out to be much too true. This will be something to tell
at Gaylord’s,
he thought, when this is over. Yes, when this is over. Could
you take Maria to Gaylord’s? No. You couldn’t. But you could leave her in the
hotel
and she could take a hot bath and be there when you came back from Gaylord’s.
Yes,
you could do that and after you had told Karkov about her, you could bring her
later because
they would be curious about her and want to see her. Maybe
you wouldn’t go to Gaylord’s at all. You could eat early at the Gran Via and hurry
back to the Florida. But you knew you would go to Gaylord’s because you
wanted to
see all that again; you wanted to eat that food again and you wanted to see
all the comfort
of it and the luxury of it after this. Then you would come back to the
Florida and there
Maria would be. Sure, she would be there after this was over. After this was
over. Yes,
after this was over. If he did this well he would rate a meal at Gaylord’s. Gaylord’s
was the place where you met famous peasant and worker Spanish commanders
who had sprung to arms from the people at the start of the war without any previous
military training and found that many of them spoke Russian. That had been the
first big disillusion to him a few months back and he had started to be
cynical to himself
about it. But when he realized how it happened it was all right. They were peasants
and workers. They had been active in the 1934 revolution and had to flee the country
when it failed and in Russia they had sent them to the military academy and
to the
Lenin Institute the Comintern maintained so they would be ready to fight the
next time
and have the necessary military education to command. The
Comintern had educated them there. In a revolution you could not admit to outsiders
who helped you nor that any one knew more than he was supposed to know. He
had learned that. If a thing was right fundamentally the lying was not
supposed to matter.
There was a lot of lying though. He did not care for the lying at first. He
hated it. Then
later he had come to like it. It was part of being an insider but it was a
very corrupting
business. It
was at Gaylord’s that you learned that Valentin Gonzalez, called El Campesino
or The
Peasant, had never been a peasant but was an ex-sergeant in the Spanish
Foreign Legion
who had deserted and fought with Abd el Krim. That was all right, too. Why shouldn’t
he be? You had to have these peasant leaders quickly in this sort of war and
a real
peasant leader might be a little too much like Pablo. You couldn’t wait for
the real Peasant
Leader to arrive and he might have too many peasant characteristics when he did.
So you had to manufacture one. At that, from what he had seen of Campesino,
with his
black beard, his thick negroid lips, and his feverish, staring eyes, he
thought he might
give almost as much trouble as a real peasant leader. The last time he had
seen him
he seemed to have gotten to believe his own publicity and think he was a
peasant. He
was a brave, tough man; no braver in the world. But God, how he talked too
much. And
when he was excited he would say anything no matter what the consequences of his
indiscretion. And those consequences had been many already. He was a
wonderful Brigade
Commander though in a situation where it looked as though everything was lost.
He never knew when everything was lost and if it was, he would fight out of
it. At
Gaylord’s, too, you met the simple stonemason, Enrique Lister from Galicia,
who now
commanded a division and who talked Russian, too. And you met the cabinet worker,
Juan Modesto from AndalucIa who had just been given an Army Corps. He never
learned his Russian in Puerto de Santa Maria although he might have if they
had a
Berlitz School there that the cabinet makers went to. He was the most trusted
of the young
soldiers by the Russians because he was a true party man, “a hundred per
cent” they
said, proud to use the Americanism. He was much more intelligent than Lister
or El Campesino.
Sure,
Gaylord’s was the place you needed to complete your education. It was there you
learned how it was all really done instead of how it was supposed to be done.
He had
only started his education, he thought. He wondered whether he would continue
with
it long. Gaylord’s was good and sound and what he needed. At the start when
he had
still believed all the nonsense it had come as a shock to him. But now he
knew enough
to accept the necessity for all the deception and what he learned at
Gaylord’s only
strengthened him in his belief in the things that he did hold to be true. He
liked to know
how it really was; not how it was supposed to be. There was always lying in a
war. But
the truth of Lister, Modesto, and El Campesino was much better than the lies
and legends.
Well, some day they would tell the truth to every one and meantime he was glad
there was a Gaylord’s for his own learning of it. Yes,
that was where he would go in Madrid after he had bought the books and after
he had
lain in the hot bath and had a couple of drinks and had read awhile. But that
was before
Maria had come into all this that he had that plan. All right. They would
have two rooms
and she could do what she liked while he went up there and he’d come back
from Gaylord’s
to her. She had waited up in the hills all this time. She could wait a little
while at
the Hotel Florida. They would have three days in Madrid. Three days could be
a long time.
He’d take her to see the Marx Brothers at the Opera. That had been running
for three
months now and would certainly be good for three months more. She’d like the Marx
Brothers at the Opera, he thought. She’d like that very much. It
was a long way from Gaylord’s to this cave though. No, that was not the long
way. The
long way was going to be from this cave to Gaylord’s. Kashkin had taken him
there first
and he had not liked it. Kashkin had said he should meet Karkov because
Karkov wanted
to know Americans and because he was the greatest lover of Lope de Vega in the
world and thought “Fuente Ovejuna” was the greatest play ever written. Maybe
it was
at that, but he, Robert Jordan, did not think so. He
had liked Karkov but not the place. Karkov was the most intelligent man he
had ever
met. Wearing black riding boots, gray breeches, and a gray tunic, with tiny
hands and
feet, puffily fragile of face and body, with a spitting way of talking
through his bad teeth,
he looked comic when Robert Jordan first saw him. But he had more brains and more
inner dignity and outer insolence and humor than any man that he had ever known.
Gaylord’s
itself had seemed indecently luxurious and corrupt. But why shouldn’t the representatives
of a power that governed a sixth of the world have a few comforts? Well, they
had them and Robert Jordan had at first been repelled by the whole business
and then
had accepted it and enjoyed it. Kashkin had made him out to be a hell of a
fellow and
Karkov had at first been insultingly polite and then, when Robert Jordan had
not played
at being a hero but had told a story that was really funny and obscenely discreditable
to himself, Karkov had shifted from the politeness to a relieved rudeness and
then to insolence and they had become friends. Kashkin
had only been tolerated there. There was something wrong with Kashkin evidently
and he was working it out in Spain. They would not tell him what it was but maybe
they would now that he was dead. Anyway, he and Karkov had become friends and
he had become friends too with the incredibly thin, drawn, dark, loving,
nervous, deprived
and unbitter woman with a lean, neglected body and dark, gray-streaked hair cut
short who was Karkov’s wife and who served as an interpreter with the tank
corps. He
was a friend too of Karkov’s mistress, who had cat-eyes, reddish gold hair (sometimes
more red; sometimes more gold, depending on the coiffeurs), a lazy sensual
body (made to fit well against other bodies), a mouth made to fit other
mouths, and
a stupid, ambitious and utterly loyal mind. This mistress loved gossip and
enjoyed a periodically
controlled promiscuity which seemed only to amuse Karkov. Karkov was supposed
to have another wife somewhere besides the tank-corps one, maybe two more,
but nobody was very sure about that. Robert Jordan liked both the wife he
knew and
the mistress. He thought he would probably like the other wife, too, if he
knew her, if there
was one. Karkov had good taste in women. There
were sentries with bayonets downstairs outside the portecochere at Gaylord’s and
tonight it would be the pleasantest and most comfortable place in all of
besieged Madrid.
He would like to be there tonight instead of here. Though it was all right
here, now
they had stopped that wheel. And the snow was stopping too. He
would like to show his Maria to Karkov but he could not take her there unless
he asked
first and he would have to see how he was received after this trip. Golz
would be there
after this attack was over and if he had done well they would all know it
from Golz. Golz
would make fun of him, too, about Maria. After what he’d said to him about no
girls. He
reached over to the bowl in front of Pablo and dipped up a cup of wine. “With
your permission,”
he said. Pablo
nodded. He is engaged in his military studies, I imagine, Robert Jordan
thought. Not
seeking the bubble reputation in the cannon’s mouth but seeking the solution
to the problem
in yonder bowl. But you know the bastard must be fairly able to have run this
band
successfully for as long as he did. Looking at Pablo he wondered what sort of
guerilla
leader he would have been in the American Civil War. There were lots of them,
he
thought. But we know very little about them. Not the Quantrills, nor the
Mosbys, nor his
own grandfathei but the little ones, the bushwhackers. And about the
drinking. Do you
suppose Grant really was a drunk? His grandfather always claimed he was. That
he was
always a little drunk by four o’clock in the afternoon and that before
Vicksburg sometimes
during the siege he was very drunk for a couple of days. But grandfather claimed
that he functioned perfectly normally no matter how much he drank except that
sometimes
it was very hard to wake him. But if you could wake him he was normal. There
wasn’t any Grant, nor any Sherman nor any Stonewall Jackson on either side so
far in this war. No. Nor any Jeb Stuart either. Nor any Sheridan. It was
overrun with McClellans
though. The fascists had plenty of McClellans and we had at least three of them.
He
had certainly not seen any military geniuses in this war. Not a one. Nor
anything resembling
one. Kleber, Lucasz, and Hans had done a fine job of their share in the defense
of Madrid with the International Brigades and then the old bald, spectacled, conceited,
stupid-as-an-owl, unintelligent-in-conversation, brave— and-as-dumb-as-a- bull,
propaganda-build-up defender of Madrid, Miaja, had been so jealous of the publicity
Kleber received that he had forced the Russians to relieve Kieber of his command
and send him to Valencia. Kieber was a good soldier; but limited and he did talk
too much for the job he had. Golz was a good general and a fine soldier but
they always
kept him in a subordinate position and never gave him a free hand. This
attack was
going to be his biggest show so far and Robert Jordan did not like too much
what he
had heard about the attack. Then there was Gall, the Hungarian, who ought to
be shot
if you could believe half you heard at Gaylord’s. Make it if you can believe
ten per cent
of what you hear at Gaylord’s, Robert Jordan thought. He
wished that he had seen the fighting on the plateau beyond Guadalajara when they
beat the Italians. But he had been down in Estremadura then. Hans had told
him about
it one night in Gaylord’s two weeks ago and made him see it all. There was
one moment
when it was really lost when the Italians had broken the line near Trijueque
and the
Twelfth Brigade would have been cut off if the Torija-Brihuega road had been
cut. “But
knowing they were Italians,” Hans had said, “we attempted to manoeuvre which would
have been unjustifiable against other troops. And it was successful.” Hans
had shown it all to him on his maps of the battle. Hans carried them around
with him
in his map case all the time and still seemed marvelled and happy at the
miracle of it.
Hans was a fine soldier and a good companion. Lister’s and Modesto’s and Campesino’s
Spanish troops had all fought well in that battle, Hans had told him, and that
was to be credited to their leaders and to the discipline they enforced. But
Lister and
Campesino and Modesto had been told many of the moves they should make by their
Russian military advisers. They were like students flying a machine with dual
controls
which the pilot could take over whenever they made a mistake. Well, this year
would
show how much and how well they learned. After a while there would not be
dual controls
and then we would see how well they handled divisions and army corps alone. They
were Communists and they were disciplinarians. The discipline that they would
enforce
would make good troops. Lister was murderous in discipline. He was a true fanatic
and he had the complete Spanish lack of respect for life. In a few armies
since the
Tartar’s first invasion of the West were men executed summarily for as little
reason as
they were under his command. But he knew how to forge a division into a
fighting unit.
It is one thing to hold positions. It is another to attack positions and take
them and it is
something very different to manoeuvre an army in the field, Robert Jordan
thought as he
sat there at the table. From what I have seen of him, I wonder how Lister
will be at that
once the dual controls are gone? But maybe they won’t go, he thought. I
wonder if they
will go? Or whether they will strengthen? I wonder what the Russian stand is
on the whole
business? Gaylord’s is the place, he thought. There is much that I need to
know now
that I can learn only at Gaylord’s. At
one time he had thought Gaylord’s had been bad for him. It was the opposite
of the puritanical,
religious communism of Velazquez 63, the Madrid palace that had been turned
into the International Brigade headquarters in the capital. At Velazquez 63
it was like
being a member of a religious order—and Gaylord’s was a long way away from the
feeling
you had at the headquarters of the Fifth Regiment before it had been broken
up into
the brigades of the new army. At
either of those places you felt that you were taking part in a crusade. That
was the only
word for it although it was a word that had been so worn and abused that it
no longer
gave its true meaning. You felt, in spite of all bureaucracy and inefficiency
and party
strife, something that was like the feeling you expected to have and did not
have when
you made your first communion. It was a feeling of consecration to a duty
toward all
of the oppressed of the world which would be as difficult and embarrassing to
speak about
as religious experience and yet it was authentic as the feeling you had when
you heard
Bach, or stood in Chartres Cathedral or the Cathedral at Leon and saw the
light coming
through the great windows; or when you saw Mantegna and Greco and Brueghel
in the Prado. It gave you a part in something that you could believe in
wholly and
completely and in which you felt an absolute brotherhood with the others who
were engaged
in it. It was something that you had never known before but that you had experienced
now and you gave such importance to it and the reasons for it that your own
death seemed of complete unimportance; only a thing to be avoided because it would
interfere with the performance of your duty. But the best thing was that
there was something
you could do about this feeling and this necessity too. You could fight. So
you fought, he thought. And in the fighting soon there was no purity of
feeling for those
who survived the fighting and were good at it. Not after the first six
months. The
defense of a position or of a city is a part of war in which you can feel
that first sort
of feeling. The fighting in the Sierras had been that way. They had fought
there with the
true comradeship of the revolution. Up there when there had been the first
necessity for
the enforcement of discipline he had approved and understood it. Under the
shelling men
had been cowards and had run. He had seen them shot and left to swell beside
the road,
nobody bothering to do more than strip them of their cartridges and their valuables.
Taking their cartridges, their boots and their leather coats was right.
Taking the
valuables was only realistic. It only kept the anarchists from getting them. It
had seemed just and right and necessary that the men who ran were shot. There
was
nothing wrong about it. Their running was a selfishness. The fascists had
attacked and
we had stopped them on that slope in the gray rocks, the scrub pines and the
gorse of
the Guadarrama hillsides. We had held along the road under the bombing from
the planes
and the shelling when they brought their artillery up and those who were left
at the
end of that day had counterattacked and driven them back. Later, when they
had tried
to come down on the left, sifting down between the rocks and through the
trees, we had
held out in the Sanitarium firing from the windows and the roof although they
had passed
it on both sides, and we lived through knowing what it was to be surrounded until
the counterattack had cleared them back behind the road again. In
all that, in the fear that dries your mouth and your throat, in the smashed
plaster dust
and the sudden panic of a wall falling, collapsing in the flash and roar of a
shellburst,
clearing the gun, dragging those away who had been serving it, lying face downward
and covered with rubble, your head behind the shield working on a stoppage, getting
the broken case out, straightening the belt again, you now lying straight
behind the
shield, the gun searching the roadside again; you did the thing there was to
do and knew
that you were right. You learned the dry-mouthed, fear-purged, purging
ecstasy of battle
and you fought that summer and that fall for all the poor in the world,
against all tyranny,
for all the things that you believed and for the new world you had been educated
into. You learned that fall, he thought, how to endure and how to ignore suffering
in the long time of cold and wetness, of mud and of digging and fortifying.
And the
feeling of the summer and the fall was buried deep under tiredness,
sleepiness, and nervousness
and discomfort. But it was still there and all that you went through only served
to validate it. It was in those days, he thought, that you had a deep and
sound and
selfless pride—that would have made you a bloody bore at Gaylord’s, he
thought suddenly.
No,
you would not have been so good at Gaylord’s then, he thought. You were too naïve.
You were in a sort of state of grace. But Gaylord’s might not have been the
way it was
now at that time, either. No, as a matter of fact, it was not that way, he
told himself. It
was not that way at all. There was not any Gaylord’s then. Karkov
had told him about those days. At that time what Russians there were had lived
at the Palace Hotel. Robert Jordan had known none of them then. That was
before the
first partizan groups had been formed; before he had met Kashkin or any of
the others.
Kashkin had been in the north at Irun, at San Sebastian and in the abortive fighting
toward Vitoria. He had not arrived in Madrid until January and while Robert Jordan
had fought at Carabanchel and at Usera in those three days when they stopped the
right wing of the fascist attack on Madrid and drove the Moors and the Tercio
back from
house to house to clear that battered suburb on the edge of the gray,
sun-baked plateau
and establish a line of defense along the heights that would protect that
corner of
the city, Karkov had been in Madrid. Karkov
was not cynical about those times either when he talked. Those were the days they
all shared when everything looked lost and each man retained now, better than
any citation
or decoration, the knowledge of just how he would act when everything looked lost.
The government had abandoned the city, taking all the motor cars from the
ministry of
war in their flight and old Miaja had to ride down to inspect his defensive
positions on a
bicycle. Robert Jordan did not believe that one. He could not see Miaja on a
bicycle even
in his most patriotic imagination, but Karkov said it was true. But then he
had written
it for Russian papers so he probably wanted to believe it was true after
writing it. But
there was another story that Karkov had not written. He had three wounded Russians
in the Palace Hotel for whom he was responsible. They were two tank drivers and
a flyer who were too bad to be moved, and since, at that time, it was of the
greatest importance
that there should be no evidence of any Russian intervention to justify an open
intervention by the fascists, it was Karkov’s responsibility that these
wounded should
not fall into the hands of the fascists in case the city should be abandoned.
In the event the city should be abandoned,
Karkov was to poison them to destroy all evidence
of their identity before leaving the Palace Hotel. No one could prove from
the bodies
of three wounded men, one with three bullet wounds in his abdomen, one with his
jaw shot away and his vocal cords exposed, one with his femur smashed to bits
by a bullet
and his hands and face so badly burned that his face was just an eyelashless,
eyebrowless,
hairless blister that they were Russians. No one could tell from the bodies of
these wounded men he would leave in beds at the Palace, that they were
Russians. Nothing
proved a naked dead man was a Russian. Your nationality and your politics did
not
show when you were dead. Robert
Jordan had asked Karkov how he felt about the necessity of performing this
act and
Karkov had said that he had not looked forward to it. “How were you going to
do it?” Robert
Jordan had asked him and had added, “You know it isn’t so simple just
suddenly to
poison people.” And Karkov had said, “Oh, yes, it is when you carry it always
for your own
use.” Then he had opened his cigarette case and showed Robert Jordan what he carried
in one side of it. “But
the first thing anybody would do if they took you prisoner would be to take
your cigarette
case,” Robert Jordan had objected. “They would have your hands up.” “But
I have a little more here,” Karkov had grinned and showed the lapel of his
jacket. “You
simply put the lapel in your mouth like this and bite it and swallow.” “That’s
much better,” Robert Jordan had said. “Tell me, does it smell like bitter almonds
the way it always does in detective stories?” “I
don’t know,” Karkov said delightedly. “I have never smelled it. Should we
break a little
tube and smell it?” “Better
keep it.” “Yes,”
Karkov said and put the cigarette case away. “I am not a defeatist, you understand,
but it is always possible that such serious times might come again and you cannot
get this anywhere. Have you seen the communiqué from the Córdoba front? It is
very
beautiful. It is now my favorite among all the communiqués.” “What
did it say?” Robert Jordan had come to Madrid from the Córdoban Front and he had
the sudden stiffening that comes when some one jokes about a thing which you yourself
may joke about but which they may not. “Tell me?” “Nuestra
gloriosa tropa siga avanzando sin perder ni una sola palma de terreno,” Karkov
said in his strange Spanish. “It
didn’t really say that,” Robert Jordan doubted. “Our
glorious troops continue to advance without losing a foot of ground,” Karkov repeated
in English. “It is in the communiqué. I will find it for you.” You
could remember the men you knew who died in the fighting around Pozoblanco; but
it was a joke at Gaylord’s. So
that was the way it was at Gaylord’s now. Still there had not always been
Gaylord’s and
if the situation was now one which produced such a thing as Gaylord’s out of
the survivors
of the early days, he was glad to see Gaylord’s and to know about it. You are
a
long way from how you felt in the Sierra and at Carabanchel and at Usera, he
thought. You
corrupt very easily, he thought. But was it corruption or was it merely that
you lost the
naïveté that you started with? Would it not be the same in anything? Who else
kept that
first chastity of mind about their work that young doctors, young priests,
and young soldiers
usually started with? The priests certainly kept it, or they got out. I
suppose the Nazis
keep it, he thought, and the Communists who have a severe enough selfdiscipline.
But look at Karkov. He
never tired of considering the case of Karkov. The last time he had been at Gaylord’s
Karkov had been wonderful about a certain British economist who had spent much
time in Spain. Robert Jordan had read this man’s writing for years and he had
always
respected him without knowing anything about him. He had not cared very much for
what this man had written about Spain. It was too clear and simple and too
open and shut
and many of the statistics he knew were faked by wishful thinking. But he
thought you
rarely cared for journalism written about a country you really knew about and
he respected
the man for his intentions. Then
he had seen the man, finally, on the afternoon when they had attacked at Carabanchel.They
were sitting in the lee of the bull ring and there was shooting down the
two streets and every one was nervous waiting for the attack. A tank had been
promised
and it had not come up and Montero was sitting with his head in his hand saying,
“The tank has not come. The tank has not come.” It
was a cold day and the yellow dust was blowing down the street and Montero
had been
hit in the left arm and the arm was stiffening. “We have to have a tank,” he
said. “We
must wait for the tank, but we cannot wait.” His wound was making him sound petulant.
Robert
Jordan had gone back to look for the tank which Montero said he thought might
have stopped behind the apartment building on the corner of the tram-line. It
was there
all right. But it was not a tank. Spaniards called anything a tank in those
days. It was
an old armored car. The driver did not want to leave the angle of the
apartment house
and bring it up to the bull ring. He was standing behind it with his arms
folded against
the metal of the car and his head in the leather-padded helmet on his arms.
He shook
his head when Robert Jordan spoke to him and kept it pressed against his
arms. Then
he turned his head without looking at Robert Jordan. “I
have no orders to go there,” he said sullenly. Robert
Jordan had taken his pistol out of the holster and pushed the muzzle of the pistol
against the leather coat of the armored car driver. “Here
are your orders,” he had told him. The man shook his head with the big
padded- leather
helmet like a football player’s on it and said, “There is no ammunition for
the machine
gun.” “We
have ammunition at the bull ring,” Robert Jordan had told him. “Come on,
let’s go. We
will fill the belts there. Come on.” “There
is no one to work the gun,” the driver said. “Where
is he? Where is your mate?” “Dead,”
the driver had said. “Inside there.” “Get
him out,” Robert Jordan had said. “Get him out of there.” “I
do not like to touch him,” the driver had said. “And he is bent over between
the gun and
the wheel and I cannot get past him.” “Come
on,” Robert Jordan had said. “We will get him out together.” He
had banged his head as he climbed into the armored car and it had made a
small cut
over his eyebrow that bled down onto his face. The dead man was heavy and so
stiff you
could not bend him and he had to hammer at his head to get it out from where
it had wedged,
face down, between his seat and the wheel. Finally he got it up by pushing
with his
knee up under the dead man’s head and then, pulling back on the man’s waist
now that
the head was loose, he pulled the dead man out himself toward the door. “Give
me a hand with him,” he had said to the driver. “I
do not want to touch him,” the driver had said and Robert Jordan had seen
that he was
crying. The tears ran straight down on each side of his nose on the
powder-grimed slope
of his face and his nose was running, too. Standing
beside the door he had swung the dead man out and the dead man fell onto the
sidewalk beside the tram-line still in that hunched-over, doubled-up
position. He lay there,
his face waxy gray against the cement sidewalk, his hands bent under him as they
had been in the car. “Get
in, God damn it,” Robert Jordan had said, motioning now with his pistol to
the driver.
“Get in there now.” Just
then he had seen this man who had come out from the lee of the apartment house
building. He had on a long overcoat and he was bareheaded and his hair was gray,
his cheekbones broad and his eyes were deep and set close together. He had a package
of Chesterfields in his hand and he took one out and handed it toward Robert Jordan
who was pushing the driver into the armored car with his pistol. “Just
a minute, Comrade,” he had said to Robert Jordan in Spanish. “Can you explain
to
me something about the fighting?” Robert
Jordan took the cigarette and put it in the breast pocket of his blue
mechanic jumper.
He had recognized this comrade from his pictures. It was the British
economist. “Go
muck yourself,” he said in English and then, in Spanish, to the armored car
driver. “Down
there. The bull ring. See?” And he had pulled the heavy side door to with a
slam and
locked it and they had started down that long slope in the car and the
bullets had commenced
to hit against the car, sounding like pebbles tossed against an iron boiler. Then
when the machine gun opened on them, they were like sharp hammer tappings. They
had pulled up behind the shelter of the bull ring with the last October
posters still pasted
up beside the ticket window and the ammunition boxes knocked open and the comrades
with the rifles, the grenades on their belts and in their pockets, waiting
there in
the lee and Montero had said, “Good. Here is the tank. Now we can attack.” Later
that night when they had the last houses on the hill, he lay comfortable
behind a brick
wall with a hole knocked in the bricks for a loophole and looked across the beautiful
level field of fire they had between them and the ridge the fascists had
retired to
and thought, with a comfort that was almost voluptuous, of the rise of the
hill with the smashed
villa that protected the left flank. He had lain in a pile of straw in his
sweat- soaked
clothes and wound a blanket around him while he dried. Lying there he thought
of
the economist and laughed, and then felt sorry he had been rude. But at the
moment, when
the man had handed him the cigarette, pushing it out almost like offering a
tip for information,
the combatant’s hatred for the noncombatant had been too much for him. Now
he remembered Gaylord’s and Karkov speaking of this same man. “So it was there
you met him,” Karkov had said. “I did not get farther than the Puente de
Toledo myself
on that day. He was very far toward the front. That was the last day of his bravery
I believe. He left Madrid the next day. Toledo was where he was the bravest,
I believe.
At Toledo he was enormous. He was one of the architects of our capture of the
Alcazar.
You should have seen him at Toledo. I believe it was largely through his
efforts and
his advice that our siege was successful. That was the silliest part of the
war. It reached
an ultimate in silliness but tell me, what is thought of him in America?” “In
America,” Robert Jordan said, “he is supposed to be very close to Moscow.” “He
is not,” said Karkov. “But he has a wonderful face and his face and his
manners are
very successful. Now with my face I could do nothing. What little I have accomplished
was all done in spite of my face which does not either inspire people nor move
them to love me and to trust me. But this man Mitchell has a face he makes
his fortune
with. It is the face of a conspirator. All who have read of conspirators in
books trust
him instantly. Also he has the true manner of the conspirator. Any one seeing
him enter
a room knows that he is instantly in the presence of a conspirator of the
first mark. All
of your rich compatriots who wish sentimentally to aid the Soviet Union as
they believe
or to insure themselves a little against any eventual success of the party
see instantly
in the face of this man, and in his manner that he can be none other than a trusted
agent of the Comintern.” “Has
he no connections in Moscow?” “None.
Listen, Comrade Jordan. Do you know about the two kinds of fools?” “Plain
and damn?” “No.
The two kinds of fools we have in Russia,” Karkov grinned and began. “First
there is
the winter fool. The winter fool comes to the door of your house and he
knocks loudly. You
go to the door and you see him there and you have never seen him before. He
is an
impressive sight. He is a very big man and he has on high boots and a fur
coat and a fur
hat and he is all covered with snow. First he stamps his boots and snow falls
from them.
Then he takes off his fur coat and shakes it and more snow falls. Then he
takes off
his fur hat and knocks it against the door. More snow falls from his fur hat.
Then he stamps
his boots again and advances into the room. Then you look at him and you see he
is a fool. That is the winter fool. “Now
in the summer you see a fool going down the street and he is waving his arms and
jerking his head from side to side and everybody from two hundred yards away
can tell
he is a fool. That is a summer fool. This economist is a winter fool.” “But
why do people trust him here?” Robert Jordan asked. “His
face,” Karkov said. “His beautiful gueule de conspirateur. And his invaluable
trick of
just having come from somewhere else where he is very trusted and important.
Of course,”
he smiled, “he must travel very much to keep the trick working. You know the Spanish
are very strange,” Karkov went on. “This government has had much money. Much
gold. They will give nothing to their friends. You are a friend. All right.
You will do it for
nothing and should not be rewarded. But to people representing an important
firm or a
country which is not friendly but must be influenced—to such people they give
much. It is
very interesting when you follow it closely.” “I
do not like it. Also that money belongs to the Spanish workers.” “You
are not supposed to like things. Only to understand,” Karkov had told him. “I
teach
you a little each time I see you and eventually you will acquire an
education. It would
be very interesting for a professor to be educated.” “I
don’t know whether I’ll be able to be a professor when I get back. They will
probably run
me out as a Red.” “Well,
perhaps you will be able to come to the Soviet Union and continue your
studies there.
That might be the best thing for you to do.” “But
Spanish is my field.” “There
are many countries where Spanish is spoken,” Karkov had said. “They cannot all
be as difficult to do anything with as Spain is. Then you must remember that
you have
not been a professor now for almost nine months. In nine months you may have learned
a new trade. How much dialectics have you read?” “I
have read the Handbook of Marxism that Emil Burns edited. That is all.” “If
you have read it all that is quite a little. There are fifteen hundred pages
and you could
spend some time on each page. But there are some other things you should read.”
“There
is no time to read now.” “I
know,” Karkov had said. “I mean eventually. There are many things to read
which will
make you understand some of these things that happen. But out of this will come
a book
which is very necessary; which will explain many things which it is necessary
to know.
Perhaps I will write it. I hope that it will be me who will write it.” “I
don’t know who could write it better.” “Do
not flatter,” Karkov had said. “I am a journalist. But like all journalists I
wish to write
literature. Just now, I am very busy on a study of Calvo Sotelo. He was a
very good
fascist; a true Spanish fascist. Franco and these other people are not. I
have been studying
all of Sotelo’s writing and speeches. He was very intelligent and it was very
intelligent
that he was killed.” “I
thought that you did not believe in political assassination.” “It
is practised very extensively,” Karkov said. “Very, very extensively.” “But—”
“We
do not believe in acts of terrorism by individuals,” Karkov had smiled. “Not
of course
by criminal terrorist and counterrevolutionary organizations. We detest with horror
the duplicity and villainy of the murderous hyenas of Bukharinite wreckers
and such
dregs of humanity as Zinoviev, Kamenev, Rykov and their henchmen. We hate and
loathe these veritable fiends,” he smiled again. “But I still believe that
political assassination
can be said to be practised very extensively.” “You
mean—” “I
mean nothing. But certainly we execute and destroy such veritable fiends and
dregs of
humanity and the treacherous dogs of generals and the revolting spectacle of admirals
unfaithful to their trust. These are destroyed. They are not assassinated.
You see
the difference?” “I
see,” Robert Jordan had said. “And
because I make jokes sometime: and you know how dangerous it is to make jokes
even in joke? Good. Because I make jokes, do not think that the Spanish
people will
not live to regret that they have not shot certain generals that even now
hold commands.
I do not like the shootings, you understand.” “I
don’t mind them,” Robert Jordan said. “I do not like them but I do not mind
them any more.”
“I
know that,” Karkov had said. “I have been told that.” “Is
it important?” Robert Jordan said. “I was only trying to be truthful about
it.” “It
is regretful,” Karkov had said. “But it is one of the things that makes
people be treated
as reliable who would ordinarily have to spend much more time before
attaining that
category.” “Am
I supposed to be reliable?” “In
your work you are supposed to be very reliable. I must talk to you sometime
to see how
you are in your mind. It is regrettable that we never speak seriously.” “My
mind is in suspension until we win the war,” Robert Jordan had said. “Then
perhaps you will not need it for a long time. But you should be careful to exercise
it a little.” “I
read Mundo Obrero,” Robert Jordan had told him and Karkov had said, “All
right. Good.
I can take a joke too. But there are very intelligent things in Mundo Obrero.
The only
intelligent things written on this war.” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan had said. “I agree with you. But to get a full picture of what
is happening
you cannot read only the party organ.” “No,”
Karkov had said. “But you will not find any such picture if you read twenty
papers and
then, if you had it, I do not know what you would do with it. I have such a
picture almost
constantly and what I do is try to forget it.” “You
think it is that bad?” “It
is better now than it was. We are getting rid of some of the worst. But it is
very rotten.
We are building a huge army now and some of the elements, those of Modesto, of
El Campesino, of Lister and of Durán, are reliable. They are more than
reliable. They are
magnificent. You will see that. Also we still have the Brigades although
their role is changing.
But an army that is made up of good and bad elements cannot win a war. All must
be brought to a certain level of political development; all must know why
they are fighting,
and its importance. All must believe in the fight they are to make and all
must accept
discipline. We are making a huge conscript army without the time to implant
the discipline
that a conscript army must have, to behave properly under fire. We call it a people’s
army but it will not have the assets of a true people’s army and it will not
have the
iron discipline that a conscript army needs. You will see. It is a very
dangerous procedure.”
“You
are not very cheerful today.” “No,”
Karkov had said. “I have just come back from Valencia where I have seen many people.
No one comes back very cheerful from Valencia. In Madrid you feel good and clean
and with no possibility of anything but winning. Valencia is something else.
The cowards
who fled from Madrid still govern there. They have settled happily into the
sloth and
bureaucracy of governing. They have only contempt for those of Madrid. Their obsession
now is the weakening of the commissariat for war. And Barcelona. You should
see Barcelona.” “How
is it?” “It
is all still comic opera. First it was the paradise of the crackpots and the
romantic revolutionists.
Now it is the paradise of the fake soldier. The soldiers who like to wear uniforms,
who like to strut and swagger and wear red-and-black scarves. Who like everything
about war except to fight. Valencia makes you sick and Barcelona makes you
laugh.” “What
about the P.O.U.M. putsch?” “The
P.O.U.M. was never serious. It was a heresy of crackpots and wild men and it was
really just an infantilism. There were some honest misguided people. There
was one
fairly good brain and there was a little fascist money. Not much. The poor
P.O.U.M. They
were very silly people.” “But were many killed in the putsch?” “Not
so many as were shot afterwards or will be shot. The P.O.U.M. It is like the
name. Not
serious. They should have called it the M.U.M.P.S. or the M.E.A.S.L.E.S. But
no. The
Measles is much more dangerous. It can affect both sight and hearing. But
they made
one plot you know to kill me, to kill Walter, to kill Modesto and to kill
Prieto. You see
how badly mixed up they were? We are not at all alike. Poor P.O.U.M. They
never did
kill anybody. Not at the front nor anywhere else. A few in Barcelona, yes.” “Were
you there?” “Yes.
I have sent a cable describing the wickedness of that infamous organization
of Trotskyite
murderers and their fascist machinations all beneath contempt but, between us,
it is not very serious, the P.O.U.M. Nin was their only man. We had him but
he escaped
from our hands.” “Where
is he now?” “In
Paris. We say he is in Paris. He was a very pleasant fellow but with bad
political aberrations.”
“But
they were in communication with the fascists, weren’t they?” “Who
is not?” “We
are not.” “Who
knows? I hope we are not. You go often behind their lines,” he grinned. “But
the brother
of one of the secretaries of the Republican Embassy at Paris made a trip to
St. Jean
de Luz last week to meet people from Burgos.” “I
like it better at the front,” Robert Jordan had said. “The closer to the
front the better the
people.” “How
do you like it behind the fascist lines?” “Very
much. We have fine people there.” “Well,
you see they must have their fine people behind our lines the same way. We find
them and shoot them and they find ours and shoot them. When you are in their country
you must always think of how many people they must send over to us.” “I
have thought about them.” “Well,”
Karkov had said. “You have probably enough to think about for today, so drink
that
beer that is left in the pitcher and run along now because I have to go
upstairs to see
people. Upstairs people. Come again to see me soon.” Yes,
Robert Jordan thought. You learned a lot at Gaylord’s. Karkov had read the
one and
only book he had published. The book had not been a success. It was only two hundred
pages long and he doubted if two thousand people had ever read it. He had put
in
it what he had discovered about Spain in ten years of travelling in it, on
foot, in third- class
carriages, by bus, on horse- and mule-back and in trucks. He knew the Basque country,
Navarre, Aragon, Galicia, the two Castiles and Estremadura well. There had been
such good books written by Borrow and Ford and the rest that he had been able
to add
very little. But Karkov said it was a good book. “It
is why I bother with you,” he said. “I think you write absolutely truly and
that is very rare.
So I would like you to know some things.” All
right. He would write a book when he got through with this. But only about
the things
he knew, truly, and about what he knew. But I will have to be a much better
writer than
I am now to handle them, he thought. The things he had come to know in this
war were
not so simple. 19 “What do you do sitting there?” Maria asked
him. She was standing close beside him and
he turned his head and smiled at her. “Nothing,”
he said. “I have been thinking.” “What
of? The bridge?” “No.
The bridge is terminated. Of thee and of a hotel in Madrid where I know some Russians,
and of a book I will write some time.” “Are there many Russians in Madrid?” “No.
Very few.” “But
in the fascist periodicals it says there are hundreds of thousands.” “Those
are lies. There are very few.” “Do
you like the Russians? The one who was here was a Russian.” “Did
you like him?” “Yes.
I was sick then but I thought he was very beautiful and very brave.” “What
nonsense, beautiful,” Pilar said. “His nose was flat as my hand and he had cheekbones
as wide as a sheep’s buttocks.” “He
was a good friend and comrade of mine,” Robert Jordan said to Maria. “I cared
for him
very much.” “Sure,”
Pilar said. “But you shot him.” When
she said this the card players looked up from the table and Pablo stared at Robert
Jordan. Nobody said anything and then the gypsy, Rafael, asked, “Is it true, Roberto?”
“Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. He wished Pilar had not brought this up and he wished he had
not told it at El Sordo’s. “At his request. He was badly wounded.” “Qué
cosa mas rara,” the gypsy said. “All the time he was with us he talked of
such a possibility.
I don’t know how many times I have promised him to perform such an act. What
a rare thing,” he said again and shook his head. “He
was a very rare man,” Primitivo said. “Very singular.” “Look,”
Andrés, one of the brothers, said. “You who are Professor and all. Do you believe
in the possibility of a man seeing ahead what is to happen to him?” “I
believe he cannot see it,” Robert Jordan said. Pablo was staring at him
curiously and
Pilar was watching him with no expression on her face. “In the case of this
Russian comrade
he was very nervous from being too much time at the front. He had fought at Irun
which, you know, was bad. Very bad. He had fought later in the north. And
since the
first groups who did this work behind the lines were formed he had worked
here, in Estremadura
and in AndalucIa. I think he was very tired and nervous and he imagined ugly
things.” “He
would undoubtedly have seen many evil things,” Fernando said. “Like
all the world,” Andrés said. “But listen to me, Inglés. Do you think there is
such a thing
as a man knowing in advance what will befall him?” “No,”
Robert Jordan said. “That is ignorance and superstition.” “Go
on,” Pilar said. “Let us hear the viewpoint of the professor.” She spoke as
though she
were talking to a precocious child. “I
believe that fear produces evil visions,” Robert Jordan said. “Seeing bad
signs—” “Such
as the airplanes today,” Primitivo said. “Such
as thy arrival,” Pablo said softly and Robert Jordan looked across the table
at him,
saw it was not a provocation but only an expressed thought, then went on.
“Seeing bad
signs, one, with fear, imagines an end for himself and one thinks that
imagining comes
by divination,” Robert Jordan concluded. “I believe there is nothing more to
it than
that. I do not believe in ogres, nor soothsayers, nor in the supernatural
things.” “But
this one with the rare name saw his fate clearly,” the gypsy said. “And that
was how
it happened.” “He
did not see it,” Robert Jordan said. “He had a fear of such a possibility and
it became
an obsession. No one can tell me that he saw anything.” “Not
I?” Pilar asked him and picked some dust up from the fire and blew it off the
palm of
her hand. “I cannot tell thee either?” “No.
With all wizardry, gypsy and all, thou canst not tell me either.” “Because
thou art a miracle of deafness,” Pilar said, her big face harsh and broad in the
candlelight. “It is not that thou art stupid. Thou art simply deaf. One who
is deaf cannot
hear music. Neither can he hear the radio. So he might say, never having
heard them,
that such things do not exist. Qué va, Inglés. I saw the death of that one
with the rare
name in his face as though it were burned there with a branding iron.” “You did not,” Robert Jordan insisted. “You
saw fear and apprehension. The fear was made
by what he had been through. The apprehension was for the possibility of evil
he imagined.”
“Qué
va,” Pilar said. “I saw death there as plainly as though it were sitting on
his shoulder.
And what is more he smelt of death.” “He
smelt of death,” Robert Jordan jeered. “Of fear maybe. There is a smell to
fear.” “De
la muerte,” Pilar said. “Listen. When Blanquet, who was the greatest peon de brega
who ever lived, worked under the orders of Granero he told me that on the day
of Manolo
Granero’s death, when they stopped in the chapel on the way to the ring, the odor
of death was so strong on Manolo that it almost made Blanquet sick. And he
had been
with Manolo when he had bathed and dressed at the hotel before setting out
for the
ring. The odor was not present in the motorcar when they had sat packed tight
together
riding to the bull ring. Nor was it distinguishable to any one else but Juan
Luis de
la Rosa in the chapel. Neither Marcial nor Chicuelo smelled it neither then
nor when the
four of them lined up for the paseo. But Juan Luis was dead white, Blanquet
told me, and
he, Blanquet, spoke to him saying, ‘Thou also?’ “‘So
that I cannot breathe,’ Juan Luis said to him. ‘And from thy matador.’ “‘Pues
nada,’ Blanquet said. ‘There is nothing to do. Let us hope we are mistaken.’ “‘And
the others?’ Juan Luis asked Blanquet. “‘Nada,’
Blanquet said. ‘Nothing. But this one stinks worse than José at Talavera.’ “And
it was on that afternoon that the bull Pocapena of the ranch of Veragua destroyed
Manolo Granero against the planks of the barrier in front of tendido two in
the Plaza
de Toros of Madrid. I was there with Finito and I saw it. The horn entirely destroyed
the cranium, the head of Manolo being wedged under the estribo at the base of
the barrera where the bull had tossed him.” “But
did you smell anything?” Fernando asked. “Nay,”
Pilar said. “I was too far away. We were in the seventh row of the tendido
three. It
was thus, being at an angle, that I could see all that happened. But that
same night Blanquet
who had been under the orders of Joselito when he too was killed told Finito about
it at Fornos, and Finito asked Juan Luis de la Rosa and he would say nothing.
But he
nodded his head that it was true. I was present when this happened. So,
Inglés, it may
be that thou art deaf to some things as Chicuelo and Marcial Lalanda and all
of their
banderilleros and picadors and all of the gente of Juan Luis and Manolo
Granero were
deaf to this thing on this day. But Juan Luis and Blanquet were not deaf. Nor
am I deaf
to such things.” “Why
do you say deaf when it is a thing of the nose?” Fernando asked. “Leche!”
Pilar said. “Thou shouldst be the professor in place of the Inglés. But I
could tell
thee of other things, Inglés, and do not doubt what thou simply cannot see
nor cannot
hear. Thou canst not hear what a dog hears. Nor canst thou smell what a dog smells.
But already thou hast experienced a little of what can happen to man.” Maria
put her hand on Robert Jordan’s shoulder and let it rest there and he thought
suddenly,
let us finish all this nonsense and take advantage of what time we have. But
it is
too early yet. We have to kill this part of the evening. So he said to Pablo,
“Thou, believest
thou in this wizardry?” “I
do not know,” Pablo said. “I am more of thy opinion. No supernatural thing
has ever happened
to me. But feai yes certainly. Plenty. But I believe that the Pilar can
divine events
from the hand. If she does not lie perhaps it is true that she has smelt such
a thing.”
“Qué
va that I should lie,” Pilar said. “This is not a thing of my invention. This
man Blanquet
was a man of extreme seriousness and furthermore very devout. He was no gypsy
but a bourgeois from Valencia. Hast thou never seen him?” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. “I have seen him many times. He was small, gray-faced and
no one handled a cape better. He was quick on his feet as a rabbit.” “Exactly,”
Pilar said. “He had a gray face from heart trouble and gypsies said that he carried
death with him but that he could flick it away with a cape as you might dust
a table.
Yet he, who was no gypsy, smelled death on Joselito when he fought at
Talavera. Although
I do not see how he could smell it above the smell of manzanilla. Blanquet spoke
of this afterwards with much diffidence but those to whom he spoke said that
it was
a fantasy and that what he had smelled was the life that José led at that
time coming
out in sweat from his armpits. But then, later, came this of Manolo Granero
in which
Juan Luis de la Rosa also participated. Clearly Juan Luis was a man of very
little honor,
but of much sensitiveness in his work and he was also a great layer of women.
But
Blanquet was serious and very quiet and completely incapable of telling an
untruth. And
I tell you that I smelled death on your colleague who was here.” “I
do not believe it,” Robert Jordan said. “Also you said that Blanquet smelled
this just before
the paseo. Just before the bullfight started. Now this was a successful
action here
of you and Kashkin and the train. He was not killed in that. How could you
smell it then?”
“That
has nothing to do with it,” Pilar explained. “In the last season of Ignacio
Sanchez Mejias
he smelled so strongly of death that many refused to sit with him in the
café. All gypsies
knew of this.” “After
the death such things are invented,” Robert Jordan argued. “Every one knew that
Sanchez Mejias was on the road to a cornada because he had been too long out
of training,
because his style was heavy and dangerous, and because his strength and the agility
in his legs were gone and his reflexes no longer as they had been.” “Certainly,”
Pilar told him. “All of that is true. But all the gypsies knew also that he smelled
of death and when he would come into the Villa Rosa you would see such people
as Ricardo and Felipe Gonzalez leaving by the small door behind the bar.” “They
probably owed him money,” Robert Jordan said. “It
is possible,” Pilar said. “Very possible. But they also smelled the thing and
all knew of
it.” “What
she says is true, Inglés,” the gypsy, Rafael, said. “It is a well-known thing
among
us.” “I
believe nothing of it,” Robert Jordan said. “Listen,
Inglés,” Anselmo began. “I am against all such wizardry. But this Pilar has
the fame
of being very advanced in such things.” “But
what does it smell like?” Fernando asked. “What odor has it? If there be an
odor it must
be a definite odor.” “You
want to know, Fernandito?” Pilar smiled at him. “You think that you could
smell it?”
“If
it actually exists why should I not smell it as well as another?” “Why
not?” Pilar was making fun of him, her big hands folded across her knees.
“Hast thou
ever been aboard a ship, Fernando?” “Nay.
And I would not wish to.” “Then
thou might not recognize it. For part of it is the smell that comes when, on
a ship,
there is a storm and the portholes are closed up. Put your nose against the
brass handle
of a screwed-tight porthole on a rolling ship that is swaying under you so
that you are
faint and hollow in the stomach and you have a part of that smell.” “It
would be impossible for me to recognize because I will go on no ship,”
Fernando said.
“I
have been on ships several times,” Pilar said. “Both to go to Mexico and to Venezuela.”
“What’s
the rest of it?” Robert Jordan asked. Pilar looked at him mockingly, remembering
now, proudly, her voyages. “All
right, Inglés. Learn. That’s the thing. Learn. All right. After that of the
ship you must go
down the hill in Madrid to the Puente de Toledo early in the morning to the
matadero and
stand there on the wet paving when there is a fog from the Manzanares and
wait for the
old women who go before daylight to drink the blood of the beasts that are slaughtered.
When such an old woman comes out of the matadero, holding her shawl around
hei with her face gray and her eyes hollow, and the whiskers of age on her
chin, and
on her cheeks, set in the waxen white of her face as the sprouts grow from
the seed of
the bean, not bristles, but pale sprouts in the death of her face; put your
arms tight around
her, Inglés, and hold her to you and kiss her on the mouth and you will know
the second
part that odor is made of.” “That
one has taken my appetite,” the gypsy said. “That of the sprouts was too
much.” “Do
you want to hear some more?” Pilar asked Robert Jordan. “Surely,”
he said. “If it is necessary for one to learn let us learn.” “That
of the sprouts in the face of the old women sickens me,” the gypsy said. “Why
should
that occur in old women, Pilar? With us it is not so.” “Nay,”
Pilar mocked at him. “With us the old woman, who was so slender in her youth,
except
of course for the perpetual bulge that is the mark of her husband’s favor,
that every
gypsy pushes always before her—” “Do
not speak thus,” Rafael said. “It is ignoble.” “So
thou art hurt,” Pilar said. “Hast thou ever seen a Gitana who was not about
to have,
or just to have had, a child?” “Thou.”
“Leave
it,” Pilar said. “There is no one who cannot be hurt. What I was saying is
that age
brings its own form of ugliness to all. There is no need to detail it. But if
the Inglés must
learn that odor that he covets to recognize he must go to the matadero early
in the morning.”
“I
will go,” Robert Jordan said. “But I will get the odor as they pass without
kissing one. I
fear the sprouts, too, as Rafael does.” “Kiss
one,” Pilar said. “Kiss one, Inglés, for thy knowledge’s sake and then, with
this in thy
nostrils, walk back up into the city and when thou seest a refuse pail with
dead flowers
in it plunge thy nose deep into it and inhale so that scent mixes with those
thou hast
already in thy nasal passages.” “Now
have I done it,” Robert Jordan said. “What flowers were they?” “Chrysanthemums.”
“Continue,”
Robert Jordan said. “I smell them.” “Then,”
Pilar went on, “it is important that the day be in autumn with rain, or at
least some
fog, or early winter even and now thou shouldst continue to walk through the
city and
down the Calle de Salud smelling what thou wilt smell where they are sweeping
out the
casas de putas and emptying the siop jars into the drains and, with this odor
of love’s
labor lost mixed sweetly with soapy water and cigarette butts only faintly
reaching thy
nostrils, thou shouldst go on to the JardIn Botánico where at night those
girls who can
no longer work in the houses do their work against the iron gates of the park
and the
iron picketed fences and upon the sidewalks. It is there in the shadow of the
trees against
the iron railings that they will perform all that a man wishes; from the
simplest requests
at a remuneration of ten centimos up to a peseta for that great act that we
are born
to and there, on a dead flower bed that has not yet been plucked out and replanted,
and so serves to soften the earth that is so much softer than the sidewalk, thou
wilt find an abandoned gunny sack with the odor of the wet earth, the dead
flowers, and
the doings of that night. In this sack will be contained the essence of it
all, both the dead
earth and the dead stalks of the flowers and their rotted blooms and the
smell that is
both the death and birth of man. Thou wilt wrap this sack around thy head and
try to breathe
through it.” “No.”
“Yes,”
Pilar said. “Thou wilt wrap this sack around thy head and try to breathe and then,
if thou hast not lost any of the previous odors, when thou inhalest deeply,
thou wilt smell
the odor of deathto-come as we know it.” “All
right,” Robert Jordan said. “And you say Kashkin smelt like that when he was here?”
“Yes.”
“Well,”
said Robert Jordan gravely. “If that is true it is a good thing that I shot
him.” “Olé,”
the gypsy said. The others laughed. “Very good,” Primitivo approved. “That
should hold her for a while.” “But
Pilar,” Fernando said. “Surely you could not expect one of Don Roberto’s education
to do such vile things.” “No,”
Pilar agreed. “All
of that is of the utmost repugnance.” “Yes,”
Pilar agreed. “You
would not expect him actually to perform those degrading acts?” “No,”
Pilar said. “Go to bed, will you?” “But,
Pilar—” Fernando went on. “Shut
up, will you?” Pilar said to him suddenly and viciously. “Do not make a fool
of thyself
and I will try not to make a fool of myself talking with people who cannot understand
what one speaks of.” “I
confess I do not understand,” Fernando began. “Don’t
confess and don’t try to understand,” Pilar said. “Is it still snowing
outside?” Robert
Jordan went to the mouth of the cave, lifted the blanket and looked out. It
was clear
and cold in the night outside and no snow was falling. He looked through the
tree trunks
where the whiteness lay and up through the trees to where the sky was now clear.
The air came into his lungs sharp and cold as he breathed. El
Sordo will leave plenty of tracks if he has stolen horses tonight, he
thought. He
dropped the blanket and came back into the smoky cave. “It is clear,” he
said. “The storm
is over.” 20 Now in the night he lay and waited for the
girl to come to him. There was no wind now and
the pines were still in the night. The trunks of the pines projected from the
snow that covered
all the ground, and he lay in the robe feeling the suppleness of the bed
under him
that he had made, his legs stretched long against the warmth of the robe, the
air sharp
and cold on his head and in his nostrils as he breathed. Under his head, as
he lay on
his side, was the bulge of the trousers and the coat that he had wrapped
around his shoes
to make a pillow and against his side was the cold metal of the big automatic
pistol
he had taken from the holster when he undressed and fastened by its lanyard
to his
right wrist. He pushed the pistol away and settled deeper into the robe as he
watched,
across the snow, the dark break in the rocks that was the entrance to the cave.
The sky was clear and there was enough light reflected from the snow to see
the trunks
of the trees and the bulk of the rocks where the cave was. Earlier
in the evening he had taken the ax and gone outside of the cave and walked through
the new snow to the edge of the clearing and cut down a small spruce tree. In
the
dark he had dragged it, butt first, to the lee of the rock wall. There close
to the rock, he
had held the tree upright, holding the trunk firm with one hand, and, holding
the ax- haft
close to the head had lopped off all the boughs until he had a pile of them.
Then, leaving
the pile of boughs, he had laid the bare pole of the trunk down in the snow
and gone
into the cave to get a slab of wood he had seen against the wall. With this
slab he scraped
the ground clear of the snow along the rock wall and then picked up his
boughs and
shaking them clean of snow laid them in rows, like overlapping plumes, until
he had a
bed. He put the pole across the foot of the bough bed to hold the branches in
place and
pegged it firm with two pointed pieces of wood he split from the edge of the
slab. Then
he carried the slab and the ax back into the cave, ducking under the blanket
as he
came in, and leaned them both against the wall. “What
do you do outside?” Pilar had asked. “I
made a bed.” “Don’t
cut pieces from my new shelf for thy bed.” “I
am sorry.” “It
has no importance,” she said. “There are more slabs at the sawmill. What sort
of bed
hast thou made?” “As in my country.” “Then
sleep well on it,” she had said and Robert Jordan had opened one of the packs
and
pulled the robe out and replaced those things wrapped in it back in the pack
and carried
the robe out, ducking under the blanket again, and spread it over the boughs
so that
the closed end of the robe was against the pole that was pegged cross-wise at
the foot
of the bed. The open head of the robe was protected by the rock wall of the
cliff. Then
he went back into the cave for his packs but Pilar said, “They can sleep with
me as last
night.” “Will
you not have sentries?” he asked. “The night is clear and the storm is over.”
“Fernando
goes,” Pilar said. Maria
was in the back of the cave and Robert Jordan could not see her. “Good
night to every one,” he had said. “I am going to sleep.” Of
the others, who were laying out blankets and bedrolls on the floor in front
of the cooking
fire, pushing back the slab tables and the rawhide-covered stools to make sleeping
space, Primitivo and Andrés looked up and said, “Buenas noches.” Anselmo
was already asleep in a corner, rolled in his blanket and his cape, not even his
nose showing. Pablo was asleep in his chair. “Do
you want a sheep hide for thy bed?” Pilar asked Robert Jordan softly. “Nay,”
he said. “Thank thee. I do not need it.” “Sleep
well,” she said. “I will respond for thy material.” Fernando
had gone out with him and stood a moment where Robert Jordan had spread
the sleeping robe. “You
have a curious idea to sleep in the open, Don Roberto,” he said standing
there in the
dark, muffled in his blanket cape, his carbine slung over his shoulder. “I
am accustomed to it. Good night.” “Since
you are accustomed to it.” “When
are you relieved?” “At
four.” “There
is much cold between now and then.” “I
am accustomed to it,” Fernando said. “Since,
then, you are accustomed to it—” Robert Jordan said politely. “Yes,”
Fernando agreed. “Now I must get up there. Good night, Don Roberto.” “Good
night, Fernando.” Then
he had made a pillow of the things he took off and gotten into the robe and
then lain
and waited, feeling the spring of the boughs under the flannelly, feathered
lightness of
the robe warmth, watching the mouth of the cave across the snow; feeling his
heart beat
as he waited. The
night was clear and his head felt as clear and cold as the air. He smelled
the odor of
the pine boughs under him, the piney smell of the crushed needles and the
sharper odor
of the resinous sap from the cut limbs. Pilar, he thought. Pilar and the
smell of death.
This is the smell I love. This and fresh-cut clover, the crushed sage as you
ride after
cattle, wood-smoke and the burning leaves of autumn. That must be the odor of
nostalgia,
the smell of the smoke from the piles of raked leaves burning in the streets
in the
fall in Missoula. Which would you rather smell? Sweet grass the Indians used
in their baskets?
Smoked leather? The odor of the ground in the spring after rain? The smell of
the
sea as you walk through the gorse on a headland in Galicia? Or the wind from
the land
as you come in toward Cuba in the dark? That was the odor of the cactus
flowers, mimosa
and the sea-grape shrubs. Or would you rather smell frying bacon in the morning
when you are hungry? Or coffee in the morning? Or a Jonathan apple as you bit
into it? Or a cider mill in the grinding, or bread fresh from the oven? You
must be hungry,
he thought, and he lay on his side and watched the entrance of the cave in
the light
that the stars reflected from the snow. Some
one came out from under the blanket and he could see whoever it was standing by
the break in the rock that made the entrance. Then he heard a slithering
sound in the snow
and then whoever it was ducked down and went back in. I suppose she won’t come until they are all
asleep, he thought. It is a waste of time. The
night is half gone. Oh, Maria. Come now quickly, Maria, for there is little
time. He heard
the soft sound of snow falling from a branch onto the snow on the ground. A
little wind
was rising. He felt it on his face. Suddenly he felt a panic that she might
not come. The
wind rising now reminded him how soon it would be morning. More snow fell
from the
branches as he heard the wind now moving the pine tops. Come
now, Maria. Please come here now quickly, he thought. Oh, come here now. Do
not wait. There is no importance any more to your waiting until they are
asleep. Then
he saw her coming out from under the blanket that covered the cave mouth. She
stood
there a moment and he knew it was she but he could not see what she was
doing. He
whistled a low whistle and she was still at the cave mouth doing something in
the darkness
of the rock shadow. Then she came running, carrying something in her hands and
he saw her running long-legged through the snow. Then she was kneeling by the
robe,
her head pushed hard against him, slapping snow from her feet. She kissed him
and
handed him her bundle. “Put
it with thy pillow,” she said. “I took these off there to save time.” “You
came barefoot through the snow?” “Yes,”
she said, “and wearing only my wedding shirt.” He
held her close and tight in his arms and she rubbed her head against his
chin. “Avoid
the feet,” she said. “They are very cold, Roberto.” “Put
them here and warm them.” “Nay,”
she said. “They will warm quickly. But say quickly now that you love me.” “I
love thee.” “Good.
Good. Good.” “I
love thee, little rabbit.” “Do
you love my wedding shirt?” “It
is the same one as always.” “Yes.
As last night. It is my wedding shirt.” “Put
thy feet here.” “Nay,
that would be abusive. They will warm of themselves. They are warm to me. It
is only
that the snow has made them cold toward thee. Say it again.” “I
love thee, my little rabbit.” “I
love thee, too, and I am thy wife.” “Were
they asleep?” “No,”
she said. “But I could support it no longer. And what importance has it?” “None,”
he said, and felt her against him, slim and long and warmly lovely. “No other
thing
has importance.” “Put
thy hand on my head,” she said, “and then let me see if I can kiss thee. “Was
it well?” she asked. “Yes,”
he said. “Take off thy wedding shirt.” “You
think I should?” “Yes,
if thou wilt not be cold.” “Qué
va, cold. I am on fire.” “I,
too. But afterwards thou wilt not be cold?” “No.
Afterwards we will be as one animal of the forest and be so close that
neither one can
tell that one of us is one and not the other. Can you not feel my heart be
your heart?”
“Yes.
There is no difference.” “Now,
feel. I am thee and thou art me and all of one is the other. And I love thee,
oh, I love
thee so. Are you not truly one? Canst thou not feel it?” “Yes,”
he said. “It is true.” “And
feel now. Thou hast no heart but mine.” “Nor
any other legs, nor feet, nor of the body.” “But
we are different,” she said. “I would have us exactly the same.” “You
do not mean that.” “Yes I do. I do. That is a thing I had to
tell thee.” “You
do not mean that.” “Perhaps
I do not,” she said speaking softly with her lips against his shoulder. “But
I wished
to say it. Since we are different I am glad that thou art Roberto and I
Maria. But if thou
should ever wish to change I would be glad to change. I would be thee because
I love
thee so.” “I
do not wish to change. It is better to be one and each one to be the one he
is.” “But
we will be one now and there will never be a separate one.” Then she said, “I
will be
thee when thou are not there. Oh, I love thee so and I must care well for
thee.” “Maria.”
“Yes.”
“Maria.”
“Yes.”
“Maria.”
“Oh,
yes. Please.” “Art
thou not cold?” “Oh,
no. Pull the robe over thy shoulders.” “Maria.”
“I
cannot speak.” “Oh,
Maria. Maria. Maria.” Then
afterwards, close, with the night cold outside, in the long warmth of the
robe, her head
touching his cheek, she lay quiet and happy against him and then said softly,
“And thou?”
“Como
tu,” he said. “Yes,”
she said. “But it was not as this afternoon.” “No.”
“But
I loved it more. One does not need to die.” “Ojala
no,” he said. “I hope not.” “I
did not mean that.” “I
know. I know what thou meanest. We mean the same.” “Then
why did you say that instead of what I meant?” “With
a man there is a difference.” “Then
I am glad that we are different.” “And
so am I,” he said. “But I understood about the dying. I only spoke thus, as a
man, from
habit. I feel the same as thee.” “However
thou art and however thou speakest is how I would have thee be.” “And
I love thee and I love thy name, Maria.” “It
is a common name.” “No,”
he said. “It is not common.” “Now
should we sleep?” she said. “I could sleep easily.” “Let
us sleep,” he said, and he felt the long light body, warm against him,
comforting against
him, abolishing loneliness against him, magically, by a simple touching of
flanks, of
shoulders and of feet, making an alliance against death with him, and he
said, “Sleep well,
little long rabbit.” She
said, “I am asleep already.” “I
am going to sleep,” he said. “Sleep well, beloved.” Then he was asleep and
happy as
he slept. But
in the night he woke and held her tight as though she were all of life and it
was being
taken from him. He held her feeling she was all of life there was and it was
true. But
she was sleeping well and soundly and she did not wake. So he rolled away
onto his
side and pulled the robe over her head and kissed her once on her neck under
the robe
and then pulled the pistol lanyard up and put the pistol by his side where he
could reach
it handily and then he lay there in the night thinking. 21 A warm wind came with daylight and he could
hear the snow melting in the trees and the
heavy sound of its falling. It was a late spring morning. He knew with the
first breath he
drew that the snow had been only a freak storm in the mountains and it would
be gone
by noon. Then he heard a horse coming, the hoofs balled with the wet snow thumping
dully as the horseman trotted. He heard the noise of a carbine scabbard slapping
loosely and the creak of leather. “Maria,”
he said, and shook the girl’s shoulder to waken her. “Keep thyself under the robe,”
and he buttoned his shirt with one hand and held the automatic pistol in the
othet loosening
the safety catch with his thumb. He saw the girl’s cropped head disappear with
a jerk under the robe and then he saw the horseman coming through the trees.
He crouched
now in the robe and holding the pistol in both hands aimed it at the man as
he rode
toward him. He had never seen this man before. The
horseman was almost opposite him now. He was riding a big gray gelding and he
wore
a khaki beret, a blanket cape like a poncho, and heavy black boots. From the scabbard
on the right of his saddle projected the stock and the long oblong clip of a short
automatic rifle. He had a young, hard face and at this moment he saw Robert Jordan.
He
reached his hand down toward the scabbard and as he swung low, turning and jerking
at the scabbard, Robert Jordan saw the scarlet of the formalized device he
wore on
the left breast of his khaki blanket cape. Aiming
at the center of his chest, a little lower than the device, Robert Jordan
fired. The
pistol roared in the snowy woods. The
horse plunged as though he had been spurred and the young man, still tugging
at the
scabbard, slid over toward the ground, his right foot caught in the stirrup.
The horse broke
off through the trees dragging him, bumping, face downward, and Robert Jordan
stood
up holding the pistol now in one hand. The
big gray horse was galloping through the pines. There was a broad swath in
the snow
where the man dragged with a scarlet streak along one side of it. People were
coming
out of the mouth of the cave. Robert Jordan reached down and unrolled his trousers
from the pillow and began to put them on. “Get
thee dressed,” he said to Maria. Overhead
he heard the noise of a plane flying very high. Through the trees he saw where
the gray horse had stopped and was standing, his rider still hanging face
down from
the stirrup. “Go
catch that horse,” he called to Primitivo who had started over toward him.
Then, “Who
was on guard at the top?” “Rafael,”
Pilar said from the cave. She stood there, her hair still down her back in
two braids.
“There’s
cavalry out,” Robert Jordan said. “Get your damned gun up there.” He
heard Pilar call, “Agustín,” into the cave. Then she went into the cave and
then two men
came running out, one with the automatic rifle with its tripod swung on his
shoulder; the
other with a sackful of the pans. “Get
up there with them,” Robert Jordan said to Anselmo. “You lie beside the gun
and hold
the legs still,” he said. The
three of them went up the trail through the woods at a run. The
sun had not yet come up over the tops of the mountains and Robert Jordan
stood straight
buttoning his trousers and tightening his belt, the big pistol hanging from
the lanyard
on his wrist. He put the pistol in its holster on his belt and slipped the
knot down on
the lanyard and passed the ioop over his head. Somebody
will choke you with that sometime, he thought. Well, this has done it. He took
the pistol out of the holster, removed the clip, inserted one of the
cartridges from the
row alongside of the holster and shoved the clip back into the butt of the
pistol. He
looked through the trees to where Primitivo, holding the reins of the horse,
was twisting
the rider’s foot out of the stirrup. The body lay face down in the snow and
as he watched
Primitivo was going through the pockets. “Come
on,” he called. “Bring the horse.” As
he knelt to put on his rope-soled shoes, Robert Jordan could feel Maria
against his knees,
dressing herself under the robe. She had no place in his life now. That
cavalryman did not expect anything, he was thinking. He was not following
horse tracks
and he was not even properly alert, let alone alarmed. He was not even
following the
tracks up to the post. He must have been one of a patrol scattered out in
these hills. But
when the patrol misses him they will follow his tracks here. Unless the snow
melts first,
he thought. Unless something happens to the patrol. “You
better get down below,” he said to Pablo. They
were all out of the cave now, standing there with the carbines and with
grenades on
their belts. Pilar held a leather bag of grenades toward Robert Jordan and he
took three
and put them in his pocket. He ducked into the cave, found his two packs,
opened the
one with the submachine gun in it and took out the barrel and stock, slipped
the stock
onto the forward assembly and put one clip into the gun and three in his
pockets. He
locked the pack and started for the door. I’ve got two pockets full of
hardware, he thought.
I hope the seams hold. He came out of the cave and said to Pablo, “I’m going up
above. Can Agustín shoot that gun?” “Yes,”
Pablo said. He was watching Primitivo leading up the horse. “Mira
qué caballo,” he said. “Look, what a horse.” The
big gray was sweating and shivering a little and Robert Jordan patted him on
the withers.
“I
will put him with the others,” Pablo said. “No,”
Robert Jordan said. “He has made tracks into here. He must make them out.” “True,”
agreed Pablo. “I will ride him out and will hide him and bring him in when
the snow
is melted. Thou hast much head today, Inglés.” “Send
some one below,” Robert Jordan said. “We’ve got to get up there.” “It
is not necessary,” Pablo said. “Horsemen cannot come that way. But we can get
out,
by there and by two other places. It is better not to make tracks if there
are planes coming.
Give me the bota with wine, Pilar.” “To
go off and get drunk,” Pilar said. “Here, take these instead.” He reached
over and put
two of the grenades in his pockets. “Qué
va, to get drunk,” Pablo said. “There is gravity in the situation. But give
me the bota.
I do not like to do all this on water.” He
reached his arms up, took the reins and swung up into the saddle. He grinned
and patted
the nervous horse. Robert Jordan saw him rub his leg along the horse’s flank affectionately.
“Qué
caballo más bonito,” he said and patted the big gray again. “Qué caballo más hermoso.
Come on. The faster this gets out of here the better.” He
reached down and pulled the light automatic rifle with its ventilated barrel,
really a submachine
gun built to take the 9 mm. pistol cartridge, from the scabbard, and looked at
it. “Look how they are armed,” he said. “Look at modern cavalry.” “There’s
modern cavalry over there on his face,” Robert Jordan said. “Vamonos.” “Do
you, Andrés, saddle and hold the horses in readiness. If you hear firing
bring them up
to the woods behind the gap. Come with thy arms and leave the women to hold
the horses.
Fernando, see that my sacks are brought also. Above all, that my sacks are brought
carefully. Thou to look after my sacks, too,” he said to Pilar. “Thou to
verify that they
come with the horses. Vamonos,” he said. “Let us go.” “The
Maria and I will prepare all for leaving,” Pilar said. Then to Robert Jordan,
“Look at
him,” nodding at Pablo on the gray horse, sitting him in the heavy-thighed
herdsman manner,
the horse’s nostrils widening as Pablo replaced the clip in the automatic
rifle. “See
what a horse has done for him.” “That
I should have two horses,” Robert Jordan said fervently. “Danger
is thy horse.” “Then give me a mule,” Robert Jordan
grinned. “Strip
me that,” he said to Pilar and jerked his head toward where the man lay face down
in the snow. “And bring everything, all the letters and papers, and put them
in the outside
pocket of my sack. Everything, understand?” “Yes.”
“Vamonos,”
he said. Pablo
rode ahead and the two men followed in a single file in order not to track up
the snow.
Robert Jordan carried the submachine gun muzzle down, carrying it by its forward
hand
grip. I wish it took the same ammunition that saddle gun takes, he thought.
But it doesn’t.
This is a German gun. This was old Kashkin’s gun. The
sun was coming over the mountains now. A warm wind was blowing and the snow
was melting. It was a lovely late spring morning. Robert
Jordan looked back and saw Maria now standing with Pilar. Then she came running
up the trail. He dropped behind Primitivo to speak to her. “Thou,”
she said. “Can I go with thee?” “No.
Help Pilar.” She
was walking behind him and put her hand on his arm. “I’m
coming.” “Nay.”
She
kept on walking close behind him. “I
could hold the legs of the gun in the way thou told Anselmo.” “Thou
wilt hold no legs. Neither of guns nor of nothing.” Walking
beside him she reached forward and put her hand in his pocket. “No,”
he said. “But take good care of thy wedding shirt.” “Kiss
me,” she said, “if thou goest.” “Thou
art shameless,” he said. “Yes,”
she said. “Totally.” “Get
thee back now. There is much work to do. We may fight here if they follow
these horse
tracks.” “Thou,”
she said. “Didst thee see what he wore on his chest?” “Yes.
Why not?” “It
was the Sacred Heart.” “Yes.
All the people of Navarre wear it.” “And
thou shot for that?” “No.
Below it. Get thee back now.” “Thou,”
she said. “I saw all.” “Thou
saw nothing. One man. One man from a horse. Vete. Get thee back.” “Say
that you love me.” “No.
Not now.” “Not
love me now?” “Déjamos.
Get thee back. One does not do that and love all at the same moment.” “I
want to go to hold the legs of the gun and while it speaks love thee all in
the same moment.”
“Thou
art crazy. Get thee back now.” “I
am crazy,” she said. “I love thee.” “Then
get thee back.” “Good.
I go. And if thou dost not love me, I love thee enough for both.” He
looked at her and smiled through his thinking. “When
you hear firing,” he said, “come with the horses. Aid the Pilar with my
sacks. It is
possible there will be nothing. I hope so.” “I
go,” she said. “Look what a horse Pablo rides.” The
big gray was moving ahead up the trail. “Yes.
But go.” “I
go.” Her
fist, clenched tight in his pocket, beat hard against his thigh. He looked at
her and saw
there were tears in her eyes. She pulled her fist out of his pocket and put
both arms tight
around his neck and kissed him. “I
go,” she said. “Me voy. I go.” He
looked back and saw her standing there, the first morning sunlight on her
brown face
and the cropped, tawny, burned-gold hair. She lifted her fist at him and
turned and walked
back down the trail, her head down. Primitivo
turned around and looked after her. “If
she did not have her hair cut so short she would be a pretty girl,” he said. “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. He was thinking of something else. “How
is she in the bed?” Primitivo asked. “What?”
“In
the bed.” “Watch
thy mouth.” “One
should not be offended when—” “Leave
it,” Robert Jordan said. He was looking at the position. 22 “Cut me pine branches,” Robert Jordan said
to Primitivo, “and bring them quickly.” “I
do not like the gun there,” he said to Agustín. “Why?”
“Place
it over there,” Robert Jordan pointed, “and later I will tell thee.” “Here,
thus. Let me help thee. Here,” he said, then squatted down. He
looked out across the narrow oblong, noting the height of the rocks on either
side. “It
must be farther,” he said, “farther out. Good. Here. That will do until it
can be done properly.
There. Put the stones there. Here is one. Put another there at the side.
Leave room
for the muzzle to swing. The stone must be farther to this side. Anselmo. Get
thee down
to the cave and bring me an ax. Quickly.” “Have
you never had a proper emplacement for the gun?” he said to Agustín. “We
always placed it here.” “Kashkin
never said to put it there?” “No.
The gun was brought after he left.” “Did
no one bring it who knew how to use it?” “No.
It was brought by porters.” “What
a way to do things,” Robert Jordan said. “It was just given to you without instruction?”
“Yes,
as a gift might be given. One for us and one for El Sordo. Four men brought them.
Anselmo guided them.” “It
was a wonder they did not lose them with four men to cross the lines.” “I
thought so, too,” Agustín said. “I thought those who sent them meant for them
to be lost.
But Anselmo brought them well.” “You
know how to handle it?” “Yes.
I have experimented. I know. Pablo knows. Primitivo knows. So does Fernando. We
have made a study of taking it apart and putting it together on the table in
the cave. Once
we had it apart and could not get it together for two days. Since then we
have not had
it apart.” “Does
it shoot now?” “Yes.
But we do not let the gypsy nor others frig with it.” “You
see? From there it was useless,” he said. “Look. Those rocks which should protect
your flanks give cover to those who will attack you. With such a gun you must
seek
a flatness over which to fire. Also you must take them sideways. See? Look
now. All
that is dominated.” “I
see,” said Agustín. “But we have never fought in defense except when our town
was taken.
At the train there were soldiers with the máquina.” “Then
we will all learn together,” Robert Jordan said. “There are a few things to observe.
Where is the gypsy who should be here?” “I
do not know.” “Where
is it possible for him to be?” “I
do not know.” Pablo
had ridden out through the pass and turned once and ridden in a circle across
the
level space at the top that was the field of fire for the automatic rifle.
Now Robert Jordan
watched him riding down the slope alongside the tracks the horse had left
when he
was ridden in. He disappeared in the trees turning to the left. I
hope he doesn’t run right into cavalry, Robert Jordan thought. I’m afraid
we’d have him
right here in our laps. Primitivo
brought the pine branches and Robert Jordan stuck them through the snow into
the unfrozen earth, arching them over the gun from either side. “Bring
more,” he said. “There must be cover for the two men who serve it. This is
not good
but it will serve until the ax comes. Listen,” he said, “if you hear a plane
lie flat wherever
thou art in the shadows of the rocks. I am here with the gun.” Now
with the sun up and the warm wind blowing it was pleasant on the side of the rocks
where the sun shone. Four horses, Robert Jordan thought. The two women and me,
Anselmo, Primitivo, Fernando, Agustín, what the hell is the name of the other
brother?
That’s eight. Not counting the gypsy. Makes nine. Plus Pablo gone with one horse
makes ten. Andrés is his name. The other brother. Plus the other, Eladio.
Makes ten.
That’s not one-half a horse apiece. Three men can hold this and four can get
away. Five
with Pablo. That’s two left over. Three with Eladio. Where the hell is he? God
knows what will happen to Sordo today if they picked up the trail of those
horses in
the snow. That was tough; the snow stopping that way. But it melting today
will even things
up. But not for Sordo. I’m afraid it’s too late to even it up for Sordo. If
we can last through today and not have to fight we can swing the whole show tomorrow
with what we have. I know we can. Not well, maybe. Not as it should be, to be
foolproof,
not as we would have done; but using everybody we can swing it. If we don’t have
to fight today. God help us if we have to fight today. I
don’t know any place better to lay up in the meantime than this. If we move
now we only
leave tracks. This is as good a place as any and if the worst gets to be the
worst there
are three ways out of this place. There is the dark then to come and from wherever
we are in these hills, I can reach and do the bridge at daylight. I don’t
know why
I worried about it before. It seems easy enough now. I hope they get the
planes up on
time for once. I certainly hope that. Tomorrow is going to be a day with dust
on the road.
Well,
today will be very interesting or very dull. Thank God we’ve got that cavalry
mount
out and away from here. I don’t think even if they ride right up here they
will go in the
way those tracks are now. They’ll think he stopped and circled and they’ll
pick up Pablo’s
tracks. I wonder where the old swine will go. He’ll probably leave tracks
like an old
bull elk spooking out of the country and work way up and then when the snow
melts circle
back below. That horse certainly did things for him. Of course he may have
just mucked
off with him too. Well, he should be able to take care of himself. He’s been doing
this a long time. I wouldn’t trust him farther than you can throw Mount
Everest, though.
I
suppose it’s smarter to use these rocks and build a good blind for this gun
than to make
a proper emplacement for it. You’d be digging and get caught with your pants down
if they come or if the planes come. She will hold this, the way she is, as
long as it is
any use to hold it, and anyway I can’t stay to fight. I have to get out of
here with that stuff
and I’m going to take Anselmo with me. Who would stay to cover us while we
got away
if we have to fight here? Just
then, while he was watching all of the country that was visible, he saw the
gypsy coming
through the rocks to the left. He was walking with a loose, high-hipped,
sloppy swing,
his carbine was slung on his back, his brown face was grinning and he carried
two
big hares, one in each hand. He carried them by the legs, heads swinging. “Hola, Roberto,” he called cheerfully. Robert
Jordan put his hand to his mouth, and the gypsy looked startled. He slid over
behind
the rocks to where Robert Jordan was crouched beside the brush-shielded automatic
rifle. He crouched down and laid the hares in the snow. Robert Jordan looked up
at him. “You
hijo de la gran puta!” he said softly. “Where the obscenity have you been?” “I
tracked them,” the gypsy said. “I got them both. They had made love in the
snow.” “And
thy post?” “It
was not for long,” the gypsy whispered. “What passes? Is there an alarm?” “There
is cavalry out.” “Rediós!”
the gypsy said. “Hast thou seen them?” “There
is one at the camp now,” Robert Jordan said. “He came for breakfast.” “I
thought I heard a shot or something like one,” the gypsy said. “I obscenity
in the milk!
Did he come through here?” “Here.
Thy post.” “Ay,
mi madre!” the gypsy said. “I am a poor, unlucky man.” “If
thou wert not a gypsy, I would shoot thee.” “No,
Roberto. Don’t say that. I am sorry. It was the hares. Before daylight I
heard the male
thumping in the snow. You cannot imagine what a debauch they were engaged in.
I
went toward the noise but they were gone. I followed the tracks in the snow
and high up
I found them together and slew them both. Feel the fatness of the two for
this time of year.
Think what the Pilar will do with those two. I am sorry, Roberto, as sorry as
thee. Was
the cavalryman killed?” “Yes.”
“By
thee?” “Yes.”
“Qué
tio!” the gypsy said in open flattery. “Thou art a veritable phenomenon.” “Thy
mother!” Robert Jordan said. He could not help grinning at the gypsy. “Take
thy hares
to camp and bring us up some breakfast.” He
put a hand out and felt of the hares that lay limp, long, heavy,
thick-furred, big- footed
and long-eared in the snow, their round dark eyes open. “They
are fat,” he said. “Fat!”
the gypsy said. “There’s a tub of lard on the ribs of each one. In my life
have I never
dreamed of such hares.” “Go
then,” Robert Jordan said, “and come quickly with the breakfast and bring to
me the
documentation of that requeté. Ask Pilar for it.” “You
are not angry with me, Roberto?” “Not
angry. Disgusted that you should leave your post. Suppose it had been a troop
of cavalry?”
“Rediós,”
the gypsy said. “How reasonable you are.” “Listen
to me. You cannot leave a post again like that. Never. I do not speak of shooting
lightly.” “Of
course not. And another thing. Never would such an opportunity as the two
hares present
itself again. Not in the life of one man.” “Anda!”
Robert Jordan said. “And hurry back.” The
gypsy picked up the two hares and slipped back through the rocks and Robert Jordan
looked out across the flat opening and the slopes of the hill below. Two
crows circled
overhead and then lit in a pine tree below. Another crow joined them and
Robert Jordan,
watching them, thought: those are my sentinels. As long as those are quiet there
is no one coming through the trees. The
gypsy, he thought. He is truly worthless. He has no political development,
nor any discipline,
and you could not rely on him for anything. But I need him for tomorrow. I have
a use for him tomorrow. It’s odd to see a gypsy in a war. They should be
exempted like
conscientious objectors. Or as the physically and mentally unfit. They are
worthless. But
conscientious objectors weren’t exempted in this war. No one was exempted. It
came
to one and all alike. Well, it had come here now to this lazy outfit. They
had it now. Agustín
and Primitivo came up with the brush and Robert Jordan built a good blind for
the
automatic rifle, a blind that would conceal the gun from the air and that
would look natural
from the forest. He showed them where to place a man high in the rocks to the
right
where he could see all the country below and to the right, and another where
he could
command the only stretch where the left wall might be climbed. “Do
not fire if you see any one from there,” Robert Jordan said. “Roll a rock
down as a warning,
a small rock, and signal to us with thy rifle, thus,” he lifted the rifle and
held it over
his head as though guarding it. “Thus for numbers,” he lifted the rifle up
and down. “If
they are dismounted point thy rifle muzzle at the ground. Thus. Do not fire
from there until
thou hearest the máquina fire. Shoot at a man’s knees when you shoot from
that height.
If you hear me whistle twice on this whistle get down, keeping behind cover,
and come
to these rocks where the máquina is.” Primitivo
raised the rifle. “I
understand,” he said. “It is very simple.” “Send
first the small rock as a warning and indicate the direction and the number.
See that
you are not seen.” “Yes,”
Primitivo said. “If I can throw a grenade?” “Not
until the máquina has spoken. It may be that cavalry will come searching for
their comrade
and still not try to enter. They may follow the tracks of Pablo. We do not
want combat
if it can be avoided. Above all that we should avoid it. Now get up there.” “Me
voy,” Primitivo said, and climbed up into the high rocks with his carbine. “Thou,
Agustín,” Robert Jordan said. “What do you know of the gun?” Agustín
squatted there, tall, black, stubbly joweled, with his sunken eyes and thin mouth
and his big work-worn hands. “Pues,
to load it. To aim it. To shoot it. Nothing more.” “You
must not fire until they are within fifty meters and only when you are sure
they will
be coming into the pass which leads to the cave,” Robert Jordan said. “Yes.
How far is that?” “That
rock.” “If
there is an officer shoot him first. Then move the gun onto the others. Move
very slowly.
It takes little movement. I will teach Fernando to tap it. Hold it tight so
that it does not
jump and sight carefully and do not fire more than six shots at a time if you
can help it.
For the fire of the gun jumps upward. But each time fire at one man and then
move from
him to another. At a man on a horse, shoot at his belly.” “Yes.”
“One
man should hold the tripod still so that the gun does not jump. Thus. He will
load the
gun for thee.” “And
where will you be?” “I
will be here on the left. Above, where I can see all and I will cover thy
left with this small
máquina. Here. If they should come it would be possible to make a massacre.
But you
must not fire until they are that close.” “I
believe that we could make a massacre. Menuda matanza!” “But
I hope they do not come.” “If
it were not for thy bridge we could make a massacre here and get out.” “It
would avail nothing. That would serve no purpose. The bridge is a part of a
plan to win
the war. This would be nothing. This would be an incident. A nothing.” “Qué
va, nothing. Every fascist dead is a fascist less.” “Yes.
But with this of the bridge we can take Segovia. The Capital of a Province.
Think of
that. It will be the first one we will take.” “Thou
believest in this seriously? That we can take Segovia?” “Yes.
It is possible with the bridge blown correctly.” “I
would like to have the massacre here and the bridge, too.” “Thou
hast much appetite,” Robert Jordan told him. All
this time he had been watching the crows. Now he saw one was watching something.
The bird cawed and flew up. But the other crow still stayed in the tree. Robert
Jordan looked up toward Primitivo’s place high in the rocks. He saw him watching
out over the country below but he made no signal. Robert Jordan leaned forward
and worked the lock on the automatic rifle, saw the round in the chamber and
let the
lock down. The crow was still there in the tree. The other circled wide over
the snow and
then settled again. In the sun and the warm wind the snow was falling from
the laden
branches of the pines. “I
have a massacre for thee for tomorrow morning,” Robert Jordan said. “It is necessary
to exterminate the post at the sawmill.” “I
am ready,” Agustín said, “Estoy listo.” “Also
the post at the roadmender’s hut below the bridge.” “For
the one or for the other,” Agustín said. “Or for both.” “Not
for both. They will be done at the same time,” Robert Jordan said. “Then
for either one,” Agustín said. “Now for a long time have I wished for action
in this
war. Pablo has rotted us here with inaction.” Anselmo
came up with the ax. “Do
you wish more branches?” he asked. “To me it seems well hidden.” “Not
branches,” Robert Jordan said. “Two small trees that we can plant here and
there to
make it look more natural. There are not enough trees here for it to be truly
natural.” “I
will bring them.” “Cut
them well back, so the stumps cannot be seen.” Robert
Jordan heard the ax sounding in the woods behind him. He looked up at Primitivo
above in the rocks and he looked down at the pines across the clearing. The one
crow was still there. Then he heard the first high, throbbing murmur of a
plane coming.
He looked up and saw it high and tiny and silver in the sun, seeming hardly
to move
in the high sky. “They
cannot see us,” he said to Agustín. “But it is well to keep down. That is the
second
observation plane today.” “And
those of yesterday?” Agustín asked. “They
are like a bad dream now,” Robert Jordan said. “They
must be at Segovia. The bad dream waits there to become a reality.” The
plane was out of sight now over the mountains but the sound of its motors
still persisted.
As
Robert Jordan looked, he saw the crow fly up. He flew straight away through
the trees
without cawing. 23 “Get thee down,” Robert Jordan whispered to
Agustín, and he turned his head and flicked
his hand Down, Down, to Anselmo who was coming through the gap with a pine tree,
carrying it over his shoulder like a Christmas tree. He saw the old man drop
his pine
tree behind a rock and then he was out of sight in the rocks and Robert
Jordan was looking
ahead across the open space toward the timber. He saw nothing and heard nothing
but he could feel his heart pounding and then he heard the clack of stone on stone
and the leaping, dropping clicks of a small rock falling. He turned his head
to the right
and looking up saw Primitivo’s rifle raised and lowered four times
horizontally. Then there
was nothing more to see but the white stretch in front of him with the circle
of horse
tracks and the timber beyond. “Cavalry,”
he said softly to Agustín. Agustín
looked at him and his dark, sunken cheeks widened at their base as he grinned.
Robert Jordan noticed he was sweating. He reached over and put his hand on his
shoulder. His hand was still there as they saw the four horsemen ride out of
the timber
and he felt the muscles in Agustín’s back twitch under his hand. One
horseman was ahead and three rode behind. The one ahead was following the horse
tracks. He looked down as he rode. The other three came behind him, fanned
out through
the timber. They were all watching carefully. Robert Jordan felt his heart
beating against
the snowy ground as he lay, his elbows spread wide and watched them over the sights
of the automatic rifle. The
man who was leading rode along the trail to where Pablo had circled and stopped.
The others rode up to him and they all stopped. Robert
Jordan saw them clearly over the blued steel barrel of the automatic rifle.
He saw
the faces of the men, the sabers hanging, the sweat-darkened flanks of the
horses, and
the cone-like slope of the khaki capes, and the Navarrese slant of the khaki
berets. The
leader turned his horse directly toward the opening in the rocks where the
gun was placed
and Robert Jordan saw his young, sunand wind-darkened face, his close-set eyes,
hawk nose and the overlong wedge-shaped chin. Sitting
his horse there, the horse’s chest toward Robert Jordan, the horse’s head
high, the
butt of the light automatic rifle projecting forward from the scabbard at the
right of the saddle,
the leader pointed toward the opening where the gun was. Robert
Jordan sunk his elbows into the ground and looked along the barrel at the
four riders
stopped there in the snow. Three of them had their automatic rifles out. Two carried
them across the pommels of their saddles. The other sat his horse with the
rifle swung
out to the right, the butt resting against his hip. You
hardly ever see them at such range, he thought. Not along the barrel of one
of these
do you see them like this. Usually the rear sight is raised and they seem miniatures
of men and you have hell to make it carry up there; or they come running, flopping,
running, and you beat a slope with fire or bar a certain street, or keep it
on the windows;
or far away you see them marching on a road. Only at the trains do you see them
like this. Only then are they like now, and with four of these you can make
them scatter.
Over the gun sights, at this range, it makes them twice the size of men. Thou,
he thought, looking at the wedge of the front sight placed now firm in the
slot of the
rear sight, the top of the wedge against the center of the leader’s chest, a
little to the right
of the scarlet device that showed bright in the morning sun against the khaki
cape. Though,
he thought, thinking in Spanish now and pressing his fingers forward against the
trigger guard to keep it away from where it would bring the quick, shocking,
hurtling rush
from the automatic rifle. Thou, he thought again, thou art dead now in thy
youth. And
thou, he thought, and thou, and thou. But let it not happen. Do not let it
happen. He
felt Agustín beside him start to cough, felt him hold it, choke and swallow.
Then as he
looked along the oiled blue of the barrel out through the opening between the
branches,
his finger still pressed forward against the trigger guard, he saw the leader
turn
his horse and point into the timber where Pablo’s trail led. The four of them
trotted into
the timber and Agustín said softly, “Cabrones!” Robert
Jordan looked behind him at the rocks where Anselmo had dropped the tree. The
gypsy, Rafael, was coming toward them through the rocks, carrying a pair of
cloth saddlebags,
his rifle slung on his back. Robert Jordan waved him down and the gypsy ducked
out of sight. “We
could have killed all four,” Agustín said quietly. He was still wet with
sweat. “Yes,”
Robert Jordan whispered. “But with the firing who knows what might have come?”
Just
then he heard the noise of another rock falling and he looked around quickly.
But both
the gypsy and Anselmo were out of sight. He looked at his wrist watch and then
up to
where Primitivo was raising and lowering his rifle in what seemed an infinity
of short jerks.
Pablo has forty-five minutes’ start, Robert Jordan thought, and then he heard
the noise
of a body of cavalry coming. “No
te apures,” he whispered to Agustín. “Do not worry. They will pass as the
others.” They
came into sight trotting along the edge of the timber in column of twos,
twenty mounted
men, armed and uniformed as the others had been, their sabers swinging, their
carbines in their holsters; and then they went down into the timber as the
others had.
“Tu
ves?” Robert Jordan said to Agustín. “Thou seest?” “There were many,” Agustín said. “These
would we have had to deal with if we had destroyed the others,” Robert Jordan
said
very softly. His heart had quieted now and his shirt felt wet on his chest
from the melting
snow. There was a hollow feeling in his chest. The
sun was bright on the snow and it was melting fast. He could see it hollowing
away
from the tree trunks and just ahead of the gun, before his eyes, the snow
surface was
damp and lacily fragile as the heat of the sun melted the top and the warmth
of the earth
breathed warmly up at the snow that lay upon it. Robert
Jordan looked up at Primitivo’s post and saw him signal, “Nothing,” crossing his
two hands, palms down. Anselmo’s
head showed above a rock and Robert Jordan motioned him up. The old man
slipped from rock to rock until he crept up and lay down flat beside the gun.
“Many,”
he said. “Many!” “I
do not need the trees,” Robert Jordan said to him. “There is no need for
further forestal
improvement.” Both
Anselmo and Agustín grinned. “This
has stood scrutiny well and it would be dangerous to plant trees now because those
people will return and perhaps they are not stupid.” He
felt the need to talk that, with him, was the sign that there had just been
much danger.
He could always tell how bad it had been by the strength of the desire to
talk that
came after. “It
was a good blind, eh?” he said. “Good,”
said Agustín. “To obscenity with all fascism good. We could have killed the four
of them. Didst thou see?” he said to Anselmo. “I
saw.” “Thou,”
Robert Jordan said to Anselmo. “Thou must go to the post of yesterday or another
good post of thy selection to watch the road and report on all movement as of
yesterday.
Already we are late in that. Stay until dark. Then come in and we will send another.”
“But
the tracks that I will make?” “Go
from below as soon as the snow is gone. The road will be muddied by the snow.
Note
if there has been much traffic of trucks or if there are tank tracks in the
softness on the
road. That is all we can tell until you are there to observe.” “With
your permission?” the old man asked. “Surely.”
“With
your permission, would it not be better for me to go into La Granja and
inquire there
what passed last night and arrange for one to observe today thus in the
manner you
have taught me? Such a one could report tonight or, better, I could go again
to La Granja
for the report.” “Have
you no fear of encountering cavalry?” “Not
when the snow is gone.” “Is
there some one in La Granja capable of this?” “Yes.
Of this, yes. It would be a woman. There are various women of trust in La Granja.”
“I
believe it,” Agustín said. “More, I know it, and several who serve for other
purposes. You
do not wish me to go?” “Let
the old man go. You understand this gun and the day is not over.” “I
will go when the snow melts,” Anselmo said. “And the snow is melting fast.” “What
think you of their chance of catching Pablo?” Robert Jordan asked Agustín. “Pablo
is smart,” Agustín said. “Do men catch a wise stag without hounds?” “Sometimes,”
Robert Jordan said. “Not
Pablo,” Agustín said. “Clearly, he is only a garbage of what he once was. But
it is not
for nothing that he is alive and comfortable in these hills and able to drink
himself to death
while there are so many others that have died against a wall.” “Is
he as smart as they say?” “He is much smarter.” “He
has not seemed of great ability here.” “Cómo
qüe no? If he were not of great ability he would have died last night. It
seems to
me you do not understand politics, Inglés, nor guerilla warfare. In politics
and this other
the first thing is to continue to exist. Look how he continued to exist last
night. And the
quantity of dung he ate both from me and from thee.” Now
that Pablo was back in the movements of the unit, Robert Jordan did not wish
to talk
against him and as soon as he had uttered it he regretted saying the thing
about his ability.
He knew himself how smart Pablo was. It was Pablo who had seen instantly all that
was wrong with the orders for the destruction of the bridge. He had made the remark
only from dislike and he knew as he made it that it was wrong. It was part of
the talking
too much after a strain. So now he dropped the matter and said to Anselmo, “And
to go into La Granja in daylight?” “It
is not bad,” the old man said. “I will not go with a military band.” “Nor
with a bell around his neck,” Agustín said. “Nor carrying a banner.” “How
will you go?” “Above
and down through the forest.” “But
if they pick you up.” “I
have papers.” “So
have we all but thou must eat the wrong ones quickly.” Anselmo
shook his head and tapped the breast pocket of his smock. “How
many times have I contemplated that,” he said. “And never did I like to
swallow paper.”
“I
have thought we should carry a little mustard on them all,” Robert Jordan
said. “In my
left breast pocket I carry our papers. In my right the fascist papers. Thus
one does not
make a mistake in an emergency.” It
must have been bad enough when the leader of the first patrol of cavalry had pointed
toward the entry because they were all talking very much. Too much, Robert Jordan
thought. “But
look, Roberto,” Agustín said. “They say the government moves further to the
right each
day. That in the Republic they no longer say Comrade but Señor and Señora. Canst
shift thy pockets?” “When
it moves far enough to the right I will carry them in my hip pocket,” Robert Jordan
said, “and sew it in the center.” “That
they should stay in thy shirt,” Agustín said. “Are we to win this war and
lose the revolution?”
“Nay,”
Robert Jordan said. “But if we do not win this war there will be no
revolution nor any
Republic nor any thou nor any me nor anything but the most grand carajo.” “So
say I,” Anselmo said. “That we should win the war.” “And
afterwards shoot the anarchists and the Communists and all this canalla
except the
good Republicans,” Agustín said. “That
we should win this war and shoot nobody,” Anselmo said. “That we should govern
justly and that all should participate in the benefits according as they have
striven
for them. And that those who have fought against us should be educated to see
their
error.” “We
will have to shoot many,” Agustín said. “Many, many, many.” He
thumped his closed right fist against the palm of his left hand. “That
we should shoot none. Not even the leaders. That they should be reformed by work.”
“I
know the work I’d put them at,” Agustín said, and he picked up some snow and
put it in
his mouth. “What,
bad one?” Robert Jordan asked. “Two
trades of the utmost brilliance.” “They
are?” Agustín
put some more snow in his mouth and looked across the clearing where the cavalry
had ridden. Then he spat the melted snow out. “Vaya. What a breakfast,” he said.
“Where is the filthy gypsy?” “What
trades?” Robert Jordan asked him. “Speak, bad mouth.” “Jumping
from planes without parachutes,” Agustín said, and his eyes shone. “That for those
that we care for. And being nailed to the tops of fence posts to be pushed
over backwards
for the others.” “That
way of speaking is ignoble,” Anselmo said. “Thus we will never have a Republic.”
“I
would like to swim ten leagues in a strong soup made from the cojones of all
of them,”
Agustín said. “And when I saw those four there and thought that we might kill
them
I was like a mare in the corral waiting for the stallion.” “You
know why we did not kill them, though?” Robert Jordan said quietly. “Yes,”
Agustín said. “Yes. But the necessity was on me as it is on a mare in heat.
You cannot
know what it is if you have not felt it.” “You
sweated enough,” Robert Jordan said. “I thought it was fear.” “Fear,
yes,” Agustín said. “Fear and the other. And in this life there is no
stronger thing than
the other.” Yes,
Robert Jordan thought. We do it coldly but they do not, nor ever have. It is
their extra
sacrament. Their old one that they had before the new religion came from the
far end
of the Mediterranean, the one they have never abandoned but only suppressed
and hidden
to bring it out again in wars and inquisitions. They are the people of the
Auto de Fe;
the act of faith. Killing is something one must do, but ours are different
from theirs. And
you, he thought, you have never been corrupted by it? You never had it in the
Sierra?
Nor at Usera? Nor through all the time in Estremadura? Nor at any time? Qué va,
he told himself. At every train. Stop
making dubious literature about the Berbers and the old Iberians and admit
that you
have liked to kill as all who are soldiers by choice have enjoyed it at some
time whether
they lie about it or not. Anselmo does not like to because he is a hunter,
not a soldier.
Don’t idealize him, either. Hunters kill animals and soldiers kill men. Don’t
lie to yourself,
he thought. Nor make up literature about it. You have been tainted with it
for a long
time now. And do not think against Anselmo either. He is a Christian.
Something very
rare in Catholic countries. But
with Agustín I had thought it was fear, he thought. That natural fear before
action. So
it was the other, too. Of course, he may be bragging now. There was plenty of
fear. I felt
the fear under my hand. Well, it was time to stop talking. “See
if the gypsy brought food,” he said to Anselmo. “Do not let him come up. He
is a fool.
Bring it yourself. And however much he brought, send back for more. I am
hungry.” 24 Now the morning was late May, the sky was
high and clear and the wind blew warm on
Robert Jordan’s shoulders. The snow was going fast and they were eating
breakfast. There
were two big sandwiches of meat and the goaty cheese apiece, and Robert Jordan
had cut thick slices of onion with his clasp knife and put them on each side
of the meat
and cheese between the chunks of bread. “You
will have a breath that will carry through the forest to the fascists,”
Agustín said, his
own mouth full. “Give
me the wineskin and I will rinse the mouth,” Robert Jordan said, his mouth
full of meat,
cheese, onion and chewed bread. He
had never been hungrier and he filled his mouth with wine, faintly
tarry-tasting from the
leather bag, and swallowed. Then he took another big mouthful of wine,
lifting the bag
up to let the jet of wine spurt into the back of his mouth, the wineskin
touching the needles
of the blind of pine branches that covered the automatic rifle as he lifted
his hand,
his head leaning against the pine branches as he bent it back to let the wine
run down.
“Dost thou want this other sandwich?”
Agustín asked him, handing it toward him across
the gun. “No.
Thank you. Eat it.” “I
cannot. I am not accustomed to eat in the morning.” “You
do not want it, truly?” “Nay.
Take it.” Robert
Jordan took it and laid it on his lap while he got the onion out of his side
jacket pocket
where the grenades were and opened his knife to slice it. He cut off a thin
sliver of
the surface that had dirtied in his pocket, then cut a thick slice. An outer
segment fell and
he picked it up and bent the circle together and put it into the sandwich. “Eatest
thou always onions for breakfast?” Agustín asked. “When
there are any.” “Do
all in thy country do this?” “Nay,”
Robert Jordan said. “It is looked on badly there.” “I
am glad,” Agustín said. “I had always considered America a civilized
country.” “What
hast thou against the onion?” “The
odor. Nothing more. Otherwise it is like the rose.” Robert
Jordan grinned at him with his mouth full. “Like
the rose,” he said. “Mighty like the rose. A rose is a rose is an onion.” “Thy
onions are affecting thy brain,” Agustín said. “Take care.” “An
onion is an onion is an onion,” Robert Jordan said cheerily and, he thought,
a stone
is a stein is a rock is a boulder is a pebble. “Rinse
thy mouth with wine,” Agustín said. “Thou art very rare, Inglés. There is
great difference
between thee and the last dynamiter who worked with us.” “There
is one great difference.” “Tell
it to me.” “I
am alive and he is dead,” Robert Jordan said. Then: what’s the matter with
you? he thought.
Is that the way to talk? Does food make you that slap happy? What are you, drunk
on onions? Is that all it means to you, now? It never meant much, he told
himself truly.
You tried to make it mean something, but it never did. There is no need to
lie in the time
that is left. “No,”
he said, seriously now. “That one was a man who had suffered greatly.” “And
thou? Hast thou not suffered?” “No,”
said Robert Jordan. “I am of those who suffer little.” “Me
also,” Agustín told him. “There are those who suffer and those who do not. I
suffer very
little.” “Less
bad,” Robert Jordan tipped up the wineskin again. “And with this, less.” “I
suffer for others.” “As
all good men should.” “But
for myself very little.” “Hast
thou a wife?” “No.”
“Me
neither.” “But
now you have the Maria.” “Yes.”
“There
is a rare thing,” Agustín said. “Since she came to us at the train the Pilar
has kept
her away from all as fiercely as though she were in a convent of Carmelites.
You cannot
imagine with what fierceness she guarded her. You come, and she gives her to thee
as a present. How does that seem to thee?” “It
was not thus.” “How
was it, then?” “She
has put her in my care.” “And
thy care is to joder with her all night?” “With
luck.” “What
a manner to care for one.” “You do not understand that one can take
good care of one thus?” “Yes,
but such care could have been furnished by any one of us.” “Let
us not talk of it any more,” Robert Jordan said. “I care for her seriously.” “Seriously?”
“As
there can be nothing more serious in this world.” “And
afterwards? After this of the bridge?” “She
goes with me.” “Then,”
Agustín said. “That no one speaks of it further and that the two of you go
with all
luck.” He
lifted the leather wine bag and took a long pull, then handed it to Robert
Jordan. “One
thing more, Inglés,” he said. “Of
course.” “I
have cared much for her, too.” Robert
Jordan put his hand on his shoulder. “Much,”
Agustín said. “Much. More than one is able to imagine.” “I
can imagine.” “She
has made an impression on me that does not dissipate.” “I
can imagine.” “Look.
I say this to thee in all seriousness.” “Say
it.” “I
have never touched her nor had anything to do with her but I care for her
greatly. Inglés,
do not treat her lightly. Because she sleeps with thee she is no whore.” “I
will care for her.” “I
believe thee. But more. You do not understand how such a girl would be if
there had been
no revolution. You have much responsibility. This one, truly, has suffered
much. She
is not as we are.” “I
will marry her.” “Nay.
Not that. There is no need for that under the revolution. But—” he nodded his
head—”it
would be better.” “I
will marry her,” Robert Jordan said and could feel his throat swelling as he
said it. “I care
for her greatly.” “Later,”
Agustín said. “When it is convenient. The important thing is to have the intention.”
“I
have it.” “Listen,”
Agustín said. “I am speaking too much of a matter in which I have no right to
intervene,
but hast thou known many girls of this country?” “A
few.” “Whores?”
“Some
who were not.” “How
many?” “Several.”
“And
did you sleep with them?” “No.”
“You
see?” “Yes.”
“What
I mean is that this Maria does not do this lightly.” “Nor
I.” “If
I thought you did I would have shot you last night as you lay with her. For
this we kill much
here.” “Listen,
old one,” Robert Jordan said. “It is because of the lack of time that there
has been
informality. What we do not have is time. Tomorrow we must fight. To me that
is nothing.
But for the Maria and me it means that we must live all of our life in this
time.” “And
a day and a night is little time,” Agustín said. “Yes.
But there has been yesterday and the night before and last night.” “Look,”
Agustín said. “If I can aid thee.” “No. We are all right.” “If
I could do anything for thee or for the cropped head—” “No.”
“Truly,
there is little one man can do for another.” “No.
There is much.” “What?”
“No
matter what passes today and tomorrow in respect to combat, give me thy confidence
and obey even though the orders may appear wrong.” “You
have my confidence. Since this of the cavalry and the sending away of the horse.”
“That
was nothing. You see that we are working for one thing. To win the war.
Unless we
win, all other things are futile. Tomorrow we have a thing of great
importance. Of true importance.
Also we will have combat. In combat there must be discipline. For many things
are not as they appear. Discipline must come from trust and confidence.” Agustín
spat on the ground. “The
Maria and all such things are apart,” he said. “That you and the Maria should
make
use of what time there is as two human beings. If I can aid thee I am at thy
orders. But
for the thing of tomorrow I will obey thee blindly. If it is necessary that
one should die for
the thing of tomorrow one goes gladly and with the heart light.” “Thus
do I feel,” Robert Jordan said. “But to hear it from thee brings pleasure.” “And
more,” Agustín said. “That one above,” he pointed toward Primitivo, “is a dependable
value. The Pilar is much, much more than thou canst imagine. The old man Anselmo,
also. Andrés also. Eladio also. Very quiet, but a dependable element. And Fernando.
I do not know how thou hast appreciated him. It is true he is heavier than mercury.
He is fuller of boredom than a steer drawing a cart on the highroad. But to
fight and
to do as he is told. Es muy hombre! Thou wilt see.” “We
are lucky.” “No.
We have two weak elements. The gypsy and Pablo. But the band of Sordo are as much
better than we are as we are better than goat manure.” “All
is well then.” “Yes,”
Agustín said. “But I wish it was for today.” “Me,
too. To finish with it. But it is not.” “Do
you think it will be bad?” “It
can be.” “But
thou are very cheerful now, Inglés.” “Yes.”
“Me
also. In spite of this of the Maria and all.” “Do
you know why?” “No.”
“Me
neither. Perhaps it is the day. The day is good.” “Who
knows? Perhaps it is that we will have action.” “I
think it is that,” Robert Jordan said. “But not today. Of all things; of all
importance we must
avoid it today.” As
he spoke he heard something. It was a noise far off that came above the sound
of the
warm wind in the trees. He could not be sure and he held his mouth open and listened,
glancing up at Primitivo as he did so. He thought he heard it but then it was
gone.
The wind was blowing in the pines and now Robert Jordan strained all of
himself to listen.
Then he heard it faintly coming down the wind. “It
is nothing tragic with me,” he heard Agustín say. “That I should never have
the Maria
is nothing. I will go with the whores as always.” “Shut
up,” he said, not listening, and lying beside him, his head having been
turned away.
Agustín looked over at him suddenly. “Qué
pasa?” he asked. Robert
Jordan put his hand over his own mouth and went on listening. There it came again.
It came faint, muted, dry and far away. But there was no mistaking it now. It
was the
precise, crackling, curling roll of automatic rifle fire. It sounded as
though pack after pack
of miniature firecrackers were going off at a distance that was almost out of
hearing.
Robert
Jordan looked up at Primitivo who had his head up now, his face looking toward
them, his hand cupped to his ear. As he looked Primitivo pointed up the mountain
toward the highest country. “They
are fighting at El Sordo’s,” Robert Jordan said. “Then
let us go to aid them,” Agustín said. “Collect the people. Vamonos.” “No,”
Robert Jordan said. “We stay here.” 25 Robert Jordan looked up at where Primitivo
stood now in his lookout post, holding his rifle
and pointing. He nodded his head but the man kept pointing, putting his hand
to his ear
and then pointing insistently and as though he could not possibly have been understood.
“Do
you stay with this gun and unless it is sure, sure, sure that they are coming
in do not
fire. And then not until they reach that shrub,” Robert Jordan pointed. “Do
you understand?”
“Yes.
But—” “No
but. I will explain to thee later. I go to Primitivo.” Anselmo
was by him and he said to the old man: “Viejo,
stay there with Agustín with the gun.” He spoke slowly and unhurriedly. “He must
not fire unless cavalry is actually entering. If they merely present
themselves he must
let them alone as we did before. If he must fire, hold the legs of the tripod
firm for him
and hand him the pans when they are empty.” “Good,”
the old man said. “And La Granja?” “Later.”
Robert
Jordan climbed up, over and around the gray boulders that were wet now under
his hands as he pulled himself up. The sun was melting the snow on them fast.
The
tops of the boulders were drying and as he climbed he looked across the
country and
saw the pine woods and the long open glade and the dip of the country before
the high
mountains beyond. Then he stood beside Primitivo in a hollow behind two
boulders and
the short, brownfaced man said to him, “They are attacking Sordo. What is it
that we
do?” “Nothing,”
Robert Jordan said. He
heard the firing clearly here and as he looked across the country, he saw,
far off, across
the distant valley where the country rose steeply again, a troop of cavalry ride
out
of the timber and cross the snowy slope riding uphill in the direction of the
firing. He saw
the oblong double line of men and horses dark against the snow as they forced
at an
angle up the hill. He watched the double line top the ridge and go into the
farther timber.
“We
have to aid them,” Primitivo said. His voice was dry and flat. “It
is impossible,” Robert Jordan told him. “I have expected this all morning.” “How?”
“They
went to steal horses last night. The snow stopped and they tracked them up there.”
“But
we have to aid them,” Primitivo said. “We cannot leave them alone to this.
Those are
our comrades.” Robert
Jordan put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “We
can do nothing,” he said. “If we could I would do it.” “There
is a way to reach there from above. We can take that way with the horses and the
two guns. This one below and thine. We can aid them thus.” “Listen—”
Robert Jordan said. “That
is what I listen to,” Primitivo said. The firing was rolling in overlapping waves.
Then they heard the noise of hand grenades
heavy and sodden in the dry rolling of the automatic rifle fire. “They
are lost,” Robert Jordan said. “They were lost when the snow stopped. If we
go there
we are lost, too. It is impossible to divide what force we have.” There
was a gray stubble of beard stippled over Primitivo’s jaws, his lip and his
neck. The
rest of his face was flat brown with a broken, flattened nose and deep-set
gray eyes,
and watching him Robert Jordan saw the stubble twitching at the corners of
his mouth
and over the cord of his throat. “Listen
to it,” he said. “It is a massacre.” “If
they have surrounded the hollow it is that,” Robert Jordan said. “Some may
have gotten
out.” “Coming
on them now we could take them from behind,” Primitivo said. “Let four of us go
with the horses.” “And
then what? What happens after you take them from behind?” “We
join with Sordo.” “To
die there? Look at the sun. The day is long.” The
sky was high and cloudless and the sun was hot on their backs. There were big
bare
patches now on the southern slope of the open glade below them and the snow was
all dropped from the pine trees. The boulders below them that had been wet as
the snow
melted were steaming faintly now in the hot sun. “You
have to stand it,” Robert Jordan said. “Hay que aguantarse. There are things
like this
in a war.” “But
there is nothing we can do? Truly?” Primitivo looked at him and Robert Jordan
knew
he trusted him. “Thou couldst not send me and another with the small machine gun?”
“It
would be useless,” Robert Jordan said. He
thought he saw something that he was looking for but it was a hawk that slid
down into
the wind and then rose above the line of the farthest pine woods. “It would
be useless
if we all went,” he said. Just
then the firing doubled in intensity and in it was the heavy bumping of the
hand grenades.
“Oh,
obscenity them,” Primitivo said with an absolute devoutness of blasphemy,
tears in
his eyes and his cheeks twitching. “Oh, God and the Virgin, obscenity them in
the milk of
their filth.” “Calm
thyself,” Robert Jordan said. “You will be fighting them soon enough. Here comes
the woman.” Pilar
was climbing up to them, making heavy going of it in the boulders. Primitivo
kept saying. “Obscenity them. Oh, God and the Virgin, befoul them,” each time
for firing rolled down the wind, and Robert Jordan climbed down to help Pilar
up. “Qué
tal, woman,” he said, taking hold of both her wrists and hoisting as she
climbed heavily
over the last boulder. “Thy
binoculars,” she said and lifted their strap over her head. “So it has come
to Sordo?”
“Yes.”
“Pobre,”
she said in commiseration. “Poor Sordo.” She
was breathing heavily from the climb and she took hold of Robert Jordan’s
hand and
gripped it tight in hers as she looked out over the country. “How
does the combat seem?” “Bad.
Very bad.” “He’s
jodido?” “I
believe so.” “Pobre,”
she said. “Doubtless because of the horses?” “Probably.”
“Pobre,”
Pilar said. Then, “Rafael recounted me all of an entire novel of dung about cavalry.
What came?” “A patrol and part of a squadron.” “Up
to what point?” Robert
Jordan pointed out where the patrol had stopped and showed her where the gun
was hidden. From where they stood they could just see one of Agustín’s boots protruding
from the rear of the blind. “The
gypsy said they rode to where the gun muzzle pressed against the chest of the
horse
of the leader,” Pilar said. “What a race! Thy glasses were in the cave.” “Have
you packed?” “All
that can be taken. Is there news of Pablo?” “He
was forty minutes ahead of the cavalry. They took his trail.” Pilar
grinned at him. She still held his hand. Now she dropped it. “They’ll never
see him,”
she said. “Now for Sordo. Can we do anything?” “Nothing.”
“Pobre,”
she said. “I was fond of Sordo. Thou art sure, sure that he is jodido?” “Yes.
I have seen much cavalry.” “More
than were here?” “Another
full troop on their way up there.” “Listen
to it,” Pilar said. “Pobre, pobre Sordo.” They
listened to the firing. “Primitivo
wanted to go up there,” Robert Jordan said. “Art
thou crazy?” Pilar said to the flat-faced man. “What kind of locos are we
producing here?”
“I
wish to aid them.” “Qué
va,” Pilar said. “Another romantic. Dost thou not believe thou wilt die quick
enough
here without useless voyages?” Robert
Jordan looked at her, at the heavy brown face with the high Indian cheekbones,
the wide-set dark eyes and the laughing mouth with the heavy, bitter upper lip.
“Thou
must act like a man,” she said to Primitivo. “A grown man. You with your gray
hairs
and all.” “Don’t
joke at me,” Primitivo said sullenly. “If a man has a little heart and a little
imagination—”
“He
should learn to control them,” Pilar said. “Thou wilt die soon enough with
us. There
is no need to seek that with strangers. As for thy imagination. The gypsy has
enough
for all. What a novel he told me.” “If
thou hadst seen it thou wouldst not call it a novel,” Primitivo said. “There
was a moment
of great gravity.” “Qué
va,” Pilar said. “Some cavalry rode here and they rode away. And you all make
yourselves
a heroism. It is to this we have come with so much inaction.” “And
this of Sordo is not grave?” Primitivo said contemptuously now. He suffered visibly
each time the firing came down the wind and he wanted either to go to the combat
or have Pilar go and leave him alone. “Total,
qué?” Pilar said. “It has come so it has come. Don’t lose thy cojones for the
misfortune
of another.” “Go
defile thyself,” Primitivo said. “There are women of a stupidity and
brutality that is insupportable.”
“In
order to support and aid those men poorly equipped for procreation,” Pilar
said, “if there
is nothing to see I am going.” Just
then Robert Jordan heard the plane high overhead. He looked up and in the
high sky
it looked to be the same observation plane that he had seen earlier in the
morning. Now
it was returning from the direction of the lines and it was moving in the
direction of the
high country where El Sordo was being attacked. “There
is the bad luck bird,” Pilar said. “Will it see what goes on there?” “Surely,”
Robert Jordan said. “If they are not blind.” They
watched the plane moving high and silvery and steady in the sunlight. It was coming
from the left and they could see the round disks of light the two propellers
made. “Keep
down,” Robert Jordan said. Then
the plane was overhead, its shadows passing over the open glade, the
throbbing reaching
its maximum of portent. Then it was past and headed toward the top of the valley.
They watched it go steadily on its course until it was just out of sight and
then they
saw it coming back in a wide dipping circle, to circle twice over the high
country and then
disappear in the direction of Segovia. Robert
Jordan looked at Pilar. There was perspiration on her forehead and she shook her
head: She had been holding her lower lip between her teeth. “For
each one there is something,” she said. “For me it is those.” “Thou
hast not caught my fear?” Primitivo said sarcastically. “Nay,”
she put her hand on his shoulder. “Thou hast no fear to catch. I know that. I
am sorry
I joked too roughly with thee. We are all in the same caldron.” Then she
spoke to Robert
Jordan. “I will send up food and wine. Dost need anything more?” “Not
in this moment. Where are the others?” “Thy
reserve is intact below with the horses,” she grinned. “Everything is out of
sight. Everything
to go is ready. Maria is with thy material.” “If
by any chance we should have aviation keep her in the cave.” “Yes,
my Lord Inglés,” Pilar said. “Thy gypsy (I give him to thee) I have sent to
gather mushrooms
to cook with the hares. There are many mushrooms now and it seemed to me
we might as well eat the hares although they would be better tomorrow or the
day after.”
“I
think it is best to eat them,” Robert Jordan said, and Pilar put her big hand
on his shoulder
where the strap of the submachine gun crossed his chest, then reached up and
mussed his hair with her fingers. “What an Inglés,” Pilar said. “I will send
the Maria with
the puchero when they are cooked.” The
firing from far away and above had almost died out and now there was only an occasional
shot. “You
think it is over?” Pilar asked. “No,”
Robert Jordan said. “From the sound that we have heard they have attacked and
been
beaten off. Now I would say the attackers have them surrounded. They have
taken cover
and they wait for the planes.” Pilar
spoke to Primitivo, “Thou. Dost understand there was no intent to insult
thee?” “Ya
lo sé,” said Primitivo. “I have put up with worse than that from thee. Thou
hast a vile
tongue. But watch thy mouth, woman. Sordo was a good comrade of mine.” “And
not of mine?” Pilar asked him. “Listen, flat face. In war one cannot say what
one feels.
We have enough of our own without taking Sordo’s.” Primitivo
was still sullen. “You
should take a physic,” Pilar told him. “Now I go to prepare the meal.” “Did
you bring the documentation of the requeté?” Robert Jordan asked her. “How
stupid I am,” she said. “I forgot it. I will send the Maria.” 26 It was three o’clock in the afternoon before
the planes came. The snow had all been gone
by noon and the rocks were hot now in the sun. There were no clouds in the
sky and
Robert Jordan sat in the rocks with his shirt off browning his back in the
sun and reading
the letters that had been in the pockets of the dead cavalryman. From time to
time
he would stop reading to look across the open slope to the line of the
timber, look over
the high country above and then return to the letters. No more cavalry had appeared.
At intervals there would be the sound of a shot from the direction of El Sordo’s
camp. But the firing was desultory. From
examining his military papers he knew the boy was from Tafalla in Navarra, twenty-one
years old, unmarried, and the son of a blacksmith. His regiment was the Nth cavalry,
which surprised Robert Jordan, for he had believed that regiment to be in the
North.
He was a Carlist, and he had been wounded at the fighting for Irun at the
start of the
war. I’ve
probably seen him run through the streets ahead of the bulls at the feria in Pamplona,
Robert Jordan thought. You never kill any one that you want to kill in a war,
he
said to himself. Well, hardly ever, he amended and went on reading the
letters. The
first letters he read were very formal, very carefully written and dealt
almost entirely
with local happenings. They were from his sister and Robert Jordan learned
that everything
was all right in Tafalla, that father was well, that mother was the same as always
but with certain complaints about her back, that she hoped he was well and
not in
too great danger and she was happy he was doing away with the Reds to
liberate Spain
from the domination of the Marxist hordes. Then there was a list of those
boys from
Tafalla who had been killed or badly wounded since she wrote last. She
mentioned ten
who were killed. That is a great many for a town the size of Tafalla, Robert
Jordan thought.
There
was quite a lot of religion in the letter and she prayed to Saint Anthony, to
the Blessed
Virgin of Pilar, and to other Virgins to protect him and she wanted him never
to forget
that he was also protected by the Sacred Heart of Jesus that he wore still,
she trusted,
at all times over his own heart where it had been proven innumerable—this was
underlined—times
to have the power of stopping bullets. She was as always his loving sister
Concha. This
letter was a little stained around the edges and Robert Jordan put it
carefully back
with the military papers and opened a letter with a less severe handwriting.
It was from
the boy’s novia, his fiancée, and it was quietly, formally, and completely
hysterical with
concern for his safety. Robert Jordan read it through and then put all the
letters together
with the papers into his hip pocket. He did not want to read the other
letters. I
guess I’ve done my good deed for today, he said to himself. I guess you have
all right,
he repeated. “What
are those you were reading?” Primitivo asked him. “The
documentation and the letters of that requeté we shot this morning. Do you
want to
see it?” “I
can’t read,” Primitivo said. “Was there anything interesting?” “No,”
Robert Jordan told him. “They are personal letters.” “How
are things going where he came from? Can you tell from the letters?” “They
seem to be going all right,” Robert Jordan said. “There are many losses in
his town.”
He looked down to where the blind for the automatic rifle had been changed a little
and improved after the snow melted. It looked convincing enough. He looked
off across
the country. “From
what town is he?” Primitivo asked. “Tafalla,”
Robert Jordan told him. All
right, he said to himself. I’m sorry, if that does any good. It
doesn’t, he said to himself. All
right then, drop it, he said to himself. All
right, it’s dropped. But
it would not drop that easily. How many is that you have killed? he asked
himself. I don’t
know. Do you think you have a right to kill any one? No. But I have to. How
many of
those you have killed have been real fascists? Very few. But they are all the
enemy to whose
force we are opposing force. But you like the people of Navarra better than
those of
any other part of Spain. Yes. And you kill them. Yes. If you don’t believe it
go down there
to the camp. Don’t you know it is wrong to kill? Yes. But you do it? Yes. And
you still
believe absolutely that your cause is right? Yes. It
is right, he told himself, not reassuringly, but proudly. I believe in the
people and their
right to govern themselves as they wish. But you mustn’t believe in killing,
he told himself.
You must do it as a necessity but you must not believe in it. If you believe
in it the
whole thing is wrong. But
how many do you suppose you have killed? I don’t know because I won’t keep track.
But do you know? Yes. How many? You can’t be sure how many. Blowing the trains
you kill many. Very many. But you can’t be sure. But of those you are sure
of? More
than twenty. And of those how many were real fascists? Two that I am sure of.
Because
I had to shoot them when we took them prisoners at Usera. And you did not mind
that? No. Nor did you like it? No. I decided never to do it again. I have
avoided it. I have
avoided killing those who are unarmed. Listen,
he told himself. You better cut this out. This is very bad for you and for
your work.
Then himself said back to him, You listen, see? Because you are doing
something very
serious and I have to see you understand it all the time. I have to keep you
straight in
your head. Because if you are not absolutely straight in your head you have
no right to
do the things you do for all of them are crimes and no man has a right to
take another man’s
life unless it is to prevent something worse happening to other people. So
get it straight
and do not lie to yourself. But
I won’t keep a count of people I have killed as though it were a trophy
record or a disgusting
business like notches in a gun, he told himself. I have a right to not keep count
and I have a right to forget them. No,
himself said. You have no right to forget anything. You have no right to shut
your eyes
to any of it nor any right to forget any of it nor to soften it nor to change
it. Shut
up, he told himself. You’re getting awfully pompous. Nor
ever to deceive yourself about it, himself went on. All
right, he told himself. Thanks for all the good advice and is it all right
for me to love Maria?
Yes,
himself said. Even
if there isn’t supposed to be any such thing as love in a purely
materialistic conception
of society? Since
when did you ever have any such conception? himself asked. Never. And you never
could have. You’re not a real Marxist and you know it. You believe in
Liberty, Equality
and Fraternity. You believe in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
Don’t ever
kid yourself with too much dialectics. They are for some but not for you. You
have to
know them in order not to be a sucker. You have put many things in abeyance
to win a
war. If this war is lost all of those things are lost. But
afterwards you can discard what you do not believe in. There is plenty you do
not believe
in and plenty that you do believe in. And
another thing. Don’t ever kid yourself about loving some one. It is just that
most people
are not lucky enough ever to have it. You never had it before and now you
have it.
What you have with Maria, whether it lasts just through today and a part of
tomorrow, or
whether it lasts for a long life is the most important thing that can happen
to a human being.
There will always be people who say it does not exist because they cannot
have it.
But I tell you it is true and that you have it and that you are lucky even if
you die tomorrow.
Cut
out the dying stuff, he said to himself. That’s not the way we talk. That’s
the way our
friends the anarchists talk. Whenever things get really bad they want to set
fire to something
and to die. It’s a very odd kind of mind they have. Very odd. Well, we’re getting
through today, old timer, he told himself. It’s nearly three o’clock now and
there is
going to be some food sooner or later. They are still shooting up at Sordo’s,
which means
that they have him surrounded and are waiting to bring up more people, probably.
Though they have to make it before dark. I
wonder what it is like up at Sordo’s. That’s what we all have to expect,
given enough time.
I imagine it is not too jovial up at Sordo’s. We certainly got Sordo into a
fine jam with
that horse business. How does it go in Spanish? Un callejón sin salida. A passageway
with no exit. I suppose I could go through with it all right. You only have
to do
it once and it is soon over with. But wouldn’t it be luxury to fight in a war
some time where,
when you were surrounded, you could surrender? Estamos copados. We are surrounded.
That was the great panic cry of this war. Then the next thing was that you were
shot; with nothing bad before if you were lucky. Sordo wouldn’t be lucky that
way. Neither
would they when the time ever came. It
was three o’clock. Then he heard the far-off, distant throbbing and, looking
up, he saw
the planes. 27 El Sordo was making his fight on a hilltop.
He did not like this hill and when he saw it he
thought it had the shape of a chancre. But he had had no choice except this
hill and he
had picked it as far away as he could see it and galloped for it, the
automatic rifle heavy
on his back, the horse laboring, barrel heaving between his thighs, the sack
of grenades
swinging against one side, the sack of automatic rifle pans banging against the
other, and Joaquín and Ignacio halting and firing, halting and firing to give
him time to
get the gun in place. There
had still been snow then, the snow that had ruined them, and when his horse was
hit so that he wheezed in a slow, jerking, climbing stagger up the last part
of the crest,
splattering the snow with a bright, pulsing jet, Sordo had hauled him along
by the bridle,
the reins over his shoulder as he climbed. He climbed as hard as he could with
the
bullets spatting on the rocks, with the two sacks heavy on his shoulders, and
then, holding
the horse by the mane, had shot him quickly, expertly, and tenderly just
where he
had needed him, so that the horse pitched, head forward down to plug a gap between
two rocks. He had gotten the gun to firing over the horse’s back and he fired
two
pans, the gun clattering, the empty shells pitching into the snow, the smell
of burnt hair
from the burnt hide where the hot muzzle rested, him firing at what came up
to the hill,
forcing them to scatter for cover, while all the time there was a chill in
his back from not
knowing what was behind him. Once the last of the five men had reached the
hilltop the
chill went out of his back and he had saved the pans he had left until he
would need them.
There
were two more horses dead along the slope and three more were dead here on the
hilltop. He had only succeeded in stealing three horses last night and one
had bolted when
they tried to mount him bareback in the corral at the camp when the first
shooting had
started. Of
the five men who had reached the hilltop three were wounded. Sordo was
wounded in
the calf of his leg and in two places in his left arm. He was very thirsty,
his wounds had
stiffened, and one of the wounds in his left arm was very painful. He also
had a bad headache
and as he lay waiting for the planes to come he thought of a joke in Spanish.
It
was, “Hay que tomar la muerte como si fuera aspirina,” which means, “You will
have to
take death as an aspirin.” But he did not make the joke aloud. He grinned
somewhere inside
the pain in his head and inside the nausea that came whenever he moved his arm
and looked around at what there was left of his band. The
five men were spread out like the points of a five-pointed star. They had dug
with their
knees and hands and made mounds in front of their heads and shoulders with
the dirt
and piles of stones. Using this cover, they were linking the individual
mounds up with stones
and dirt. Joaquín, who was eighteen years old, had a steel helmet that he dug
with
and he passed dirt in it. He
had gotten this helmet at the blowing up of the train. It had a bullet hole
through it and
every one had always joked at him for keeping it. But he had hammered the
jagged edges
of the bullet hole smooth and driven a wooden plug into it and then cut the
plug off
and smoothed it even with the metal inside the helmet. When
the shooting started he had clapped this helmet on his head so hard it banged
his
head as though he had been hit with a casserole and, in the last lung-aching,
leg- dead,
mouth-dry, bulletspatting, bullet-cracking, bullet-singing run up the final
slope of the
hill after his horse was killed, the helmet had seemed to weigh a great
amount and to
ring his bursting forehead with an iron band. But he had kept it. Now he dug
with it in a
steady, almost machinelike desperation. He had not yet been hit. “It
serves for something finally,” Sordo said to him in his deep, throaty voice. “Resistir y fortificar es vencer,” Joaquín
said, his mouth stiff with the dryness of fear which
surpassed the normal thirst of battle. It was one of the slogans of the
Communist party
and it meant, “Hold out and fortify, and you will win.” Sordo
looked away and down the slope at where a cavalryman was sniping from behind
a boulder. He was very fond of this boy and he was in no mood for slogans. “What
did you say?” One
of the men turned from the building that he was doing. This man was lying
flat on his
face, reaching carefully up with his hands to put a rock in place while
keeping his chin
flat against the ground. Joaquín
repeated the slogan in his dried-up boy’s voice without checking his digging for
a moment. “What
was the last word?” the man with his chin on the ground asked. “Vencer,”
the boy said. “Win.” “Mierda,”
the man with his chin on the ground said. “There
is another that applies to here,” Joaquín said, bringing them out as though
they were
talismans, “Pasionaria says it is better to die on your feet than to live on
your knees.”
“Mierda
again,” the man said and another man said, over his shoulder, “We’re on our bellies,
not our knees.” “Thou.
Communist. Do you know your Pasionaria has a son thy age in Russia since the
start of the movement?” “It’s
a lie,” Joaquín said. “Qué
va, it’s a lie,” the other said. “The dynamiter with the rare name told me.
He was of
thy party, too. Why should he lie?” “It’s
a lie,” Joaquín said. “She would not do such a thing as keep a son hidden in Russia
out of the war.” “I
wish I were in Russia,” another of Sordo’s men said. “Will not thy Pasionaria
send me
now from here to Russia, Communist?” “If
thou believest so much in thy Pasionaria, get her to get us off this hill,”
one of the men
who had a bandaged thigh said. “The
fascists will do that,” the man with his chin in the dirt said. “Do
not speak thus,” Joaquín said to him. “Wipe
the pap of your mother’s breasts off thy lips and give me a hatful of that
dirt,” the
man with his chin on the ground said. “No one of us will see the sun go down
this night.”
El
Sordo was thinking: It is shaped like a chancre. Or the breast of a young
girl with no nipple.
Or the top cone of a volcano. You have never seen a volcano, he thought. Nor will
you ever see one. And this hill is like a chancre. Let the volcanos alone.
It’s late now for
the volcanos. He
looked very carefully around the withers of the dead horse and there was a
quick hammering
of firing from behind a boulder well down the slope and he heard the bullets from
the submachine gun thud into the horse. He crawled along behind the horse and
looked
out of the angle between the horse’s hindquarters and the rock. There were three
bodies on the slope just below him where they had fallen when the fascists
had rushed
the crest under cover of the automatic rifle and submachine gunfire and he
and the
others had broken down the attack by throwing and rolling down hand grenades.
There
were other bodies that he could not see on the other sides of the hill crest.
There was
no dead ground by which attackers could approach the summit and Sordo knew that
as long as his ammunition and grenades held out and he had as many as four
men they
could not get him out of there unless they brought up a trench mortar. He did
not know
whether they had sent to La Granja for a trench mortar. Perhaps they had not,
because
surely, soon, the planes would come. It had been four hours since the observation
plane had flown over them. This
hill is truly like a chancre, Sordo thought, and we are the very pus of it.
But we killed
many when they made that stupidness. How could they think that they would
take us
thus? They have such modern armament that they lose all their sense with overconfidence.
He had killed the young officer who had led the assault with a grenade that
had gone bouncing and rolling down the slope as they came up it, running,
bent half over.
In the yellow flash and gray roar of smoke he had seen the officer dive
forward to where
he lay now like a heavy, broken bundle of old clothing marking the farthest
point that
the assault had reached. Sordo looked at this body and then, down the hill,
at the others.
They
are brave but stupid people, he thought. But they have sense enough now not
to attack
us again until the planes come. Unless, of course, they have a mortar coming.
It would
be easy with a mortar. The mortar was the normal thing and he knew that they would
die as soon as a mortar came up, but when he thought of the planes coming up he
felt as naked on that hilltop as though all of his clothing and even his skin
had been removed.
There is no nakeder thing than I feel, he thought. A flayed rabbit is as well
covered
as a bear in comparison. But why should they bring planes? They could get us out
of here with a trench mortar easily. They are proud of their planes, though,
and they will
probably bring them. Just as they were so proud of their automatic weapons
that they
made that stupidness. But undoubtedly they must have sent for a mortar too. One
of the men fired. Then jerked the bolt and fired again, quickly. “Save
thy cartridges,” Sordo said. “One
of the sons of the great whore tried to reach that boulder,” the man pointed.
“Did
you hit him?” Sordo asked, turning his head with difficulty. “Nay,”
the man said. “The fornicator ducked back.” “Who
is a whore of whores is Pilar,” the man with his chin in the dirt said. “That
whore knows
we are dying here.” “She
could do no good,” Sordo said. The man had spoken on the side of his good ear
and
he had heard him without turning his head. “What could she do?” “Take
these sluts from the rear.” “Qué
va,” Sordo said. “They are spread around a hillside. How would she come on them?
There are a hundred and fifty of them. Maybe more now.” “But
if we hold out until dark,” Joaquín said. “And
if Christmas comes on Easter,” the man with his chin on the ground said. “And
if thy aunt had cojones she would be thy uncle,” another said to him. “Send
for thy
Pasionaria. She alone can help us.” “I
do not believe that about the son,” Joaquín said. “Or if he is there he is
training to be an
aviator or something of that sort.” “He
is hidden there for safety,” the man told him. “He
is studying dialectics. Thy Pasionaria has been there. So have Lister and
Modesto and
others. The one with the rare name told me.” “That
they should go to study and return to aid us,” Joaquín said. “That
they should aid us now,” another man said. “That all the cruts of Russian sucking
swindlers should aid us now.” He fired and said, “Me cago en tal; I missed
him again.”
“Save
thy cartridges and do not talk so much or thou wilt be very thirsty,” Sordo
said. “There
is no water on this hill.” “Take
this,” the man said and rolling on his side he pulled a wineskin that he wore
slung
from his shoulder over his head and handed it to Sordo. “Wash thy mouth out,
old one.
Thou must have much thirst with thy wounds.” “Let
all take it,” Sordo said. “Then
I will have some first,” the owner said and squirted a long stream into his
mouth before
he handed the leather bottle around. “Sordo,
when thinkest thou the planes will come?” the man with his chin in the dirt asked.
“Any
time,” said Sordo. “They should have come before.” “Do
you think these sons of the great whore will attack again?” “Only
if the planes do not come.” He did not think there was any need to speak
about the mortar. They would know it soon
enough when the mortar came. “God
knows they’ve enough planes with what we saw yesterday.” “Too
many,” Sordo said. His
head hurt very much and his arm was stiffening so that the pain of moving it
was almost
unbearable. He looked up at the bright, high, blue early summer sky as he
raised the
leather wine bottle with his good arm. He was fifty-two years old and he was
sure this
was the last time he would see that sky. He
was not at all afraid of dying but he was angry at being trapped on this hill
which was
only utilizable as a place to die. If we could have gotten clear, he thought.
If we could
have made them come up the long valley or if we could have broken loose
across the
road it would have been all right. But this chancre of a hill. We must use it
as well as we
can and we have used it very well so far. If
he had known how many men in history have had to use a hill to die on it
would not have
cheered him any for, in the moment he was passing through, men are not impressed
by what has happened to other men in similar circumstances any more than a
widow of one day is helped by the knowledge that other loved husbands have
died. Whether
one has fear of it or not, one’s death is difficult to accept. Sordo had
accepted it but
there was no sweetness in its acceptance even at fifty-two, with three wounds
and him
surrounded on a hill. He
joked about it to himself but he looked at the sky and at the far mountains
and he swallowed
the wine and he did not want it. If one must die, he thought, and clearly one
must,
I can die. But I hate it. Dying
was nothing and he had no picture of it nor fear of it in his mind. But
living was a field
of grain blowing in the wind on the side of a hill. Living was a hawk in the
sky. Living
was an earthen jar of water in the dust of the threshing with the grain
flailed out and
the chaff blowing. Living was a horse between your legs and a carbine under
one leg
and a hill and a valley and a stream with trees along it and the far side of
the valley and
the hills beyond. Sordo
passed the wine bottle back and nodded his head in thanks. He leaned forward and
patted the dead horse on the shoulder where the muzzle of the automatic rifle
had burned
the hide. He could still smell the burnt hair. He thought how he had held the
horse
there, trembling, with the fire around them, whispering and cracking, over
and around
them like a curtain, and had carefully shot him just at the intersection of
the cross-lines
between the two eyes and the ears. Then as the horse pitched down he had dropped
down behind his warm, wet back to get the gun to going as they came up the hill.
“Eras
mucho caballo,” he said, meaning, “Thou wert plenty of horse.” El
Sordo lay now on his good side and looked up at the sky. He was lying on a
heap of empty
cartridge hulls but his head was protected by the rock and his body lay in
the lee of
the horse. His wounds had stiffened badly and he had much pain and he felt
too tired to
move. “What
passes with thee, old one?” the man next to him asked. “Nothing.
I am taking a little rest.” “Sleep,”
the other said. “They will wake us when they come.” Just
then some one shouted from down the slope. “Listen,
bandits!” the voice came from behind the rocks where the closest automatic rifle
was placed. “Surrender now before the planes blow you to pieces.” “What
is it he says?” Sordo asked. Joaquín
told him. Sordo rolled to one side and pulled himself up so that he was crouched
behind the gun again. “Maybe
the planes aren’t coming,” he said. “Don’t answer them and do not fire. Maybe
we
can get them to attack again.” “If
we should insult them a little?” the man who had spoken to Joaquín about La Pasionaria’s
son in Russia asked. “No,” Sordo said. “Give me thy big pistol.
Who has a big pistol?” “Here.”
“Give
it to me.” Crouched on his knees he took the big 9 mm. Star and fired one
shot into
the ground beside the dead horse, waited, then fired again four times at irregular
intervals.
Then he waited while he counted sixty and then fired a final shot directly
into the
body of the dead horse. He grinned and handed back the pistol. “Reload
it,” he whispered, “and that every one should keep his mouth shut and no one shoot.”
“Bandidos!”
the voice shouted from behind the rocks. No
one spoke on the hill. “Bandidos!
Surrender now before we blow thee to little pieces.” “They’re
biting,” Sordo whispered happily. As
he watched, a man showed his head over the top of the rocks. There was no
shot from
the hilltop and the head went down again. El Sordo waited, watching, but
nothing more
happened. He turned his head and looked at the others who were all watching down
their sectors of the slope. As he looked at them the others shook their
heads. “Let
no one move,” he whispered. “Sons
of the great whore,” the voice came now from behind the rocks again. “Red
swine. Mother rapers. Eaters of the milk of thy fathers.” Sordo
grinned. He could just hear the bellowed insults by turning his good ear.
This is better
than the aspirin, he thought. How many will we get? Can they be that foolish?
The
voice had stopped again and for three minutes they heard nothing and saw no movement.
Then the sniper behind the boulder a hundred yards down the slope exposed
himself and fired. The bullet hit a rock and ricocheted with a sharp whine.
Then Sordo
saw a man, bent double, run from the shelter of the rocks where the automatic
rifle
was across the open ground to the big boulder behind which the sniper was
hidden. He
almost dove behind the boulder. Sordo
looked around. They signalled to him that there was no movement on the other slopes.
El Sordo grinned happily and shook his head. This is ten times better than the
aspirin,
he thought, and he waited, as happy as only a hunter can be happy. Below
on the slope the man who had run from the pile of stones to the shelter of
the boulder
was speaking to the sniper. “Do
you believe it?” “I
don’t know,” the sniper said. “It
would be logical,” the man, who was the officer in command, said. “They are surrounded.
They have nothing to expect but to die.” The
sniper said nothing. “What
do you think?” the officer asked. “Nothing,”
the sniper said. “Have
you seen any movement since the shots?” “None
at all.” The
officer looked at his wrist watch. It was ten minutes to three o’clock. “The
planes should have come an hour ago,” he said. Just then another officer
flopped in
behind the boulder. The sniper moved over to make room for him. “Thou,
Paco,” the first officer said. “How does it seem to thee?” The
second officer was breathing heavily from his sprint up and across the
hillside from
the automatic rifle position. “For
me it is a trick,” he said. “But
if it is not? What a ridicule we make waiting here and laying siege to dead
men.” “We
have done something worse than ridiculous already,” the second officer said. “Look
at that slope.” He
looked up the slope to where the dead were scattered close to the top. From where
he looked the line of the hilltop showed the scattered rocks, the belly,
projecting legs,
shod hooves jutting out, of Sordo’s horse, and the fresh dirt thrown up by
the digging.
“What about the mortars?” asked the second
officer. “They
should be here in an hour. If not before.” “Then
wait for them. There has been enough stupidity already.” “Bandidos!”
the first officer shouted suddenly, getting to his feet and putting his head well
up above the boulder so that the crest of the hill looked much closer as he
stood upright.
“Red swine! Cowards!” The
second officer looked at the sniper and shook his head. The sniper looked
away but
his lips tightened. The
first officer stood there, his head all clear of the rock and with his hand
on his pistol
butt. He cursed and vilified the hilltop. Nothing happened. Then he stepped
clear of
the boulder and stood there looking up the hill. “Fire,
cowards, if you are alive,” he shouted. “Fire on one who has no fear of any
Red that
ever came out of the belly of the great whore.” This
last was quite a long sentence to shout and the officer’s face was red and congested
as he finished. The
second officer, who was a thin sunburned man with quiet eyes, a thin, long-lipped
mouth
and a stubble of beard over his hollow cheeks, shook his head again. It was
this officer
who was shouting who had ordered the first assault. The young lieutenant who was
dead up the slope had been the best friend of this other lieutenant who was
named Paco
Berrendo and who was listening to the shouting of the captain, who was
obviously in
a state of exaltation. “Those
are the swine who shot my sister and my mother,” the captain said. He had a red
face and a blond, British-looking moustache and there was something wrong
about his
eyes. They were a light blue and the lashes were light, too. As you looked at
them they
seemed to focus slowly. Then “Reds,” he shouted. “Cowards!” and commenced cursing
again. He
stood absolutely clear now and, sighting carefully, fired his pistol at the
only target that
the hilltop presented: the dead horse that had belonged to Sordo. The bullet
threw up
a puff of dirt fifteen yards below the horse. The captain fired again. The
bullet hit a rock
and sung off. The
captain stood there looking at the hilltop. The Lieutenant Berrendo was
looking at the
body of the other lieutenant just below the summit. The sniper was looking at
the ground
under his eyes. Then he looked up at the captain. “There
is no one alive up there,” the captain said. “Thou,” he said to the sniper,
“go up there
and see.” The
sniper looked down. He said nothing. “Don’t
you hear me?” the captain shouted at him. “Yes,
my captain,” the sniper said, not looking at him. “Then
get up and go.” The captain still had his pistol out. “Do you hear me?” “Yes,
my captain.” “Why
don’t you go, then?” “I
don’t want to, my captain.” “You
don’t want to?” The captain pushed the pistol against the small of the man’s back.
“You don’t want to?” “I
am afraid, my captain,” the soldier said with dignity. Lieutenant
Berrendo, watching the captain’s face and his odd eyes, thought he was going
to shoot the man then. “Captain
Mora,” he said. “Lieutenant
Berrendo?” “It
is possible the soldier is right.” “That
he is right to say he is afraid? That he is right to say he does not want to
obey an
order?” “No.
That he is right that it is a trick.” “They
are all dead,” the captain said. “Don’t you hear me say they are all dead?’ “You
mean our comrades on the slope?” Berrendo asked him. “I agree with you.” “Paco,” the captain said, “don’t be a fool.
Do you think you are the only one who cared for
Julián? I tell you the Reds are dead. Look!” He
stood up, then put both hands on top of the boulder and pulled himself up, kneeing-up
awkwardly, then getting on his feet. “Shoot,”
he shouted, standing on the gray granite boulder and waved both his arms. “Shoot
me! Kill me!” On
the hilltop El Sordo lay behind the dead horse and grinned. What
a people, he thought. He laughed, trying to hold it in because the shaking
hurt his
arm. “Reds,”
came the shout from below. “Red canaille. Shoot me! Kill me!” Sordo,
his chest shaking, barely peeped past the horse’s crupper and saw the captain
on
top of the boulder waving his arms. Another officer stood by the boulder. The
sniper was
standing at the other side. Sordo kept his eye where it was and shook his
head happily.
“Shoot
me,” he said softly to himself. “Kill me!” Then his shoulders shook again.
The laughing
hurt his arm and each time he laughed his head felt as though it would burst.
But
the laughter shook him again like a spasm. Captain
Mora got down from the boulder. “Now
do you believe me, Paco?” he questioned Lieutenant Berrendo. “No,”
said Lieutenant Berrendo. “Cojones!”
the captain said. “Here there is nothing but idiots and cowards.” The
sniper had gotten carefully behind the boulder again and Lieutenant Berrendo was
squatting beside him. The
captain, standing in the open beside the boulder, commenced to shout filth at
the hilltop.
There is no language so filthy as Spanish. There are words for all the vile
words in
English and there are other words and expressions that are used only in
countries where
blasphemy keeps pace with the austerity of religion. Lieutenant Berrendo was
a very
devout Catholic. So was the sniper. They were Carlists from Navarra and while
both
of them cursed and blasphemed when they were angry they regarded it as a sin which
they regularly confessed. As
they crouched now behind the boulder watching the captain and listening to
what he
was shouting, they both disassociated themselves from him and what he was
saying. They
did not want to have that sort of talk on their consciences on a day in which
they might
die. Talking thus will not bring luck, the sniper thought. Speaking thus of
the Virgen
is bad luck. This one speaks worse than the Reds. Julián
is dead, Lieutenant Berrendo was thinking. Dead there on the slope on such a day
as this is. And this foul mouth stands there bringing more ill fortune with
his blasphemies.
Now
the captain stopped shouting and turned to Lieutenant Berrendo. His eyes
looked stranger
than ever. “Paco,”
he said, happily, “you and I will go up there.” “Not
me.” “What?”
The captain had his pistol out again. I
hate these pistol brandishers, Berrendo was thinking. They cannot give an
order without
jerking a gun out. They probably pull out their pistols when they go to the
toilet and
order the move they will make. “I
will go if you order me to. But under protest,” Lieutenant Berrendo told the
captain. “Then
I will go alone,” the captain said. “The smell of cowardice is too strong
here.” Holding
his pistol in his right hand, he strode steadily up the slope. Berrendo and
the sniper
watched him. He was making no attempt to take any cover and he was looking straight
ahead of him at the rocks, the dead horse, and the fresh-dug dirt of the
hilltop. El
Sordo lay behind the horse at the corner of the rock, watching the captain
come striding
up the hill. Only
one, he thought. We get only one. But from his manner of speaking he is caza mayor.
Look at him walking. Look what an animal. Look at him stride forward. This
one is
for me. This one I take with me on the trip. This one coming now makes the
same voyage
I do. Come on, Comrade Voyager. Come striding. Come right along. Come along
to meet it. Come on. Keep on walking. Don’t slow up. Come right along. Come
as thou
art coming. Don’t stop and look at those. That’s right. Don’t even look down.
Keep on
coming with your eyes forward. Look, he has a moustache. What do you think of
that?
He runs to a moustache, the Comrade Voyager. He is a captain. Look at his sleeves.
I said he was caza mayor. He has the face of an Inglés. Look. With a red face
and
blond hair and blue eyes. With no cap on and his moustache is yellow. With
blue eyes.
With pale blue eyes. With pale blue eyes with something wrong with them. With
pale
blue eyes that don’t focus. Close enough. Too close. Yes, Comrade Voyager.
Take it,
Comrade Voyager. He
squeezed the trigger of the automatic rifle gently and it pounded back three
times against
his shoulder with the slippery jolt the recoil of a tripoded automatic weapon
gives.
The
captain lay on his face on the hillside. His left arm was under him. His
right arm that
had held the pistol was stretched forward of his head. From all down the
slope they were
firing on the hill crest again. Crouched
behind the boulder, thinking that now he would have to sprint across that open
space under fire, Lieutenant Berrendo heard the deep hoarse voice of Sordo
from the
hilltop. “Bandidos!”
the voice came. “Bandidos! Shoot me! Kill me!” On
the top of the hill El Sordo lay behind the automatic rifle laughing so that
his chest ached,
so that he thought the top of his head would burst. “Bandidos,”
he shouted again happily. “Kill me, bandidos!” Then he shook his head happily.
We have lots of company for the Voyage, he thought. He
was going to try for the other officer with the automatic rifle when he would
leave the
shelter of the boulder. Sooner or later he would have to leave it. Sordo knew
that he could
never command from there and he thought he had a very good chance to get him.
Just
then the others on the hill heard the first sound of the coming of the
planes. El
Sordo did not hear them. He was covering the down-slope edge of the boulder
with his
automatic rifle and he was thinking: when I see him he will be running
already and I will
miss him if I am not careful. I could shoot behind him all across that
stretch. I should swing
the gun with him and ahead of him. Or let him start and then get on him and ahead
of him. I will try to pick him up there at the edge of the rock and swing
just ahead of
him. Then he felt a touch on his shoulder and he turned and saw the gray,
fear- drained
face of Joaquín and he looked where the boy was pointing and saw the three planes
coming. At
this moment Lieutenant Berrendo broke from behind the boulder and, with his
head bent
and his legs plunging, ran down and across the slope to the shelter of the
rocks where
the automatic rifle was placed. Watching
the planes, Sordo never saw him go. “Help
me to pull this out,” he said to Joaquín and the boy dragged the automatic
rifle clear
from between the horse and the rock. The
planes were coming on steadily. They were in echelon and each second they grew
larger and their noise was greater. “Lie
on your backs to fire at them,” Sordo said. “Fire ahead of them as they
come.” He
was watching them all the time. “Cabrones!Hijos de puta!” he said rapidly. “Ignacio!”
he said. “Put the gun on the shoulder of the boy. Thou!” to Joaquín, “Sit there
and do not move. Crouch over. More. No. More.” He
lay back and sighted with the automatic rifle as the planes came on steadily.
“Thou,
Ignacio, hold me the three legs of that tripod.” They were dangling down the boy’s
back and the muzzle of the gun was shaking from the jerking of his body that Joaquín
could not control as he crouched with bent head hearing the droning roar of their
coming. Lying
flat on his belly and looking up into the sky watching them come, Ignacio gathered
the legs of the tripod into his two hands and steadied the gun. “Keep
thy head down,” he said to Joaquín. “Keep thy head forward.” “Pasionaria
says ‘Better to die on thy—’ “ Joaquín was saying to himself as the drone came
nearer them. Then he shifted suddenly into “Hail Mary, full of grace, the
Lord is with
thee; Blessed art thou among women and Blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus. Holy
Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
Amen. Holy
Mary, Mother of God,” he started, then he remembered quickly as the roar came
now
unbearably and started an act of contrition racing in it, “Oh my God, I am
heartily sorry
for having offended thee who art worthy of all my love—” Then
there were the hammering explosions past his ears and the gun barrel hot against
his shoulder. It was hammering now again and his ears were deafened by the muzzle
blast. Ignacio was pulling down hard on the tripod and the barrel was burning
his back.
It was hammering now in the roar and he could not remember the act of
contrition. All
he could remember was at the hour of our death. Amen. At the hour of our
death. Amen.
At the hour. At the hour. Amen. The others all were firing. Now and at the
hour of our
death. Amen. Then,
through the hammering of the gun, there was the whistle of the air splitting
apart and
then in the red black roar the earth rolled under his knees and then waved up
to hit him
in the face and then dirt and bits of rock were falling all over and Ignacio
was lying on
him and the gun was lying on him. But he was not dead because the whistle
came again
and the earth rolled under him with the roar. Then it came again and the
earth lurched
under his belly and one side of the hilltop rose into the air and then fell
slowly over
them where they lay. The
planes came back three times and bombed the hilltop but no one on the hilltop
knew
it. Then the planes machine-gunned the hilltop and went away. As they dove on
the
hill for the last time with their machine guns hammering, the first plane
pulled up and winged
over and then each plane did the same and they moved from echelon to V- formation
and went away into the sky in the direction of Segovia. Keeping
a heavy fire on the hilltop, Lieutenant Berrendo pushed a patrol up to one of
the
bomb craters from where they could throw grenades onto the crest. He was
taking no
chances of any one being alive and waiting for them in the mess that was up
there and
he threw four grenades into the confusion of dead horses, broken and split
rocks, and
torn yellow-stained explosive-stinking earth before he climbed out of the
bomb crater
and walked over to have a look. No
one was alive on the hilltop except the boy Joaquín, who was unconscious
under the
dead body of Ignacio. Joaquín was bleeding from the nose and from the ears.
He had
known nothing and had no feeling since he had suddenly been in the very heart
of the
thunder and the breath had been wrenched from his body when the one bomb struck
so close and Lieutenant Berrendo made the sign of the cross and then shot him
in
the back of the head, as quickly and as gently, if such an abrupt movement
can be gentle,
as Sordo had shot the wounded horse. Lieutenant
Berrendo stood on the hilltop and looked down the slope at his own dead and
then across the country seeing where they had galloped before Sordo had
turned at bay
here. He noticed all the dispositions that had been made of the troops and
then he ordered
the dead men’s horses to be brought up and the bodies tied across the saddles
so
that they might be packed in to La Granja. “Take
that one, too,” he said. “The one with his hands on the automatic rifle. That
should
be Sordo. He is the oldest and it was he with the gun. No. Cut the head off
and wrap
it in a poncho.” He considered a minute. “You might as well take all the
heads. And of
the others below on the slope and where we first found them. Collect the
rifles and pistols
and pack that gun on a horse.” Then
he walked down to where the lieutenant lay who had been killed in the first assault.
He looked down at him but did not touch him. “Qué
cosa más mala es la guerra,” he said to himself, which meant, “What a bad
thing war
is.” Then he made the sign of the cross again and
as he walked down the hill he said five Our
Fathers and five Hail Marys for the repose of the soul of his dead comrade.
He did not
wish to stay to see his orders being carried out. 28 After the planes went away Robert Jordan and
Primitivo heard the firing start and his heart
seemed to start again with it. A cloud of smoke drifted over the last ridge
that he could
see in the high country and the planes were three steadily receding specks in
the sky.
They’ve
probably bombed hell out of their own cavalry and never touched Sordo and Company,
Robert Jordan said to himself. The damned planes scare you to death but they
don’t kill you. “The
combat goes on,” Primitivo said, listening to the heavy firing. He had winced
at each
bomb thud and now he licked his dry lips. “Why
not?” Robert Jordan said. “Those things never kill anybody.” Then
the firing stopped absolutely and he did not hear another shot. Lieutenant Berrendo’s
pistol shot did not carry that far. When
the firing first stopped it did not affect him. Then as the quiet kept on a
hollow feeling
came in his chest. Then he heard the grenades burst and for a moment his
heart rose.
Then everything was quiet again and the quiet kept on and he knew that it was
over.
Maria
came up from the camp with a tin bucket of stewed hare with mushrooms sunken
in the rich gravy and a sack with bread, a leather wine bottle, four tin
plates, two cups
and four spoons. She stopped at the gun and ladled out two plates for Agustín
and Eladio,
who had replaced Anselmo at the gun, and gave them bread and unscrewed the horn
tip of the wine bottle and poured two cups of wine. Robert
Jordan watched her climbing lithely up to his lookout post, the sack over her
shoulder,
the bucket in one hand, her cropped head bright in the sun. He climbed down and
took the bucket and helped her up the last boulder. “What
did the aviation do?” she asked, her eyes frightened. “Bombed
Sordo.” He
had the bucket open and was ladling out stew onto a plate. “Are
they still fighting?” “No.
It is over.” “Oh,”
she said and bit her lip and looked out across the country. “I
have no appetite,” Primitivo said. “Eat
anyway,” Robert Jordan told him. “I
could not swallow food.” “Take
a drink of this, man,” Robert Jordan said and handed him the wine bottle.
“Then eat.”
“This
of Sordo has taken away desire,” Primitivo said. “Eat, thou. I have no
desire.” Maria
went over to him and put her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Eat,
old one,” she said. “Each one should take care of his strength.” Primitivo
turned away from her. He took the wine bottle and tipping his head back swallowed
steadily while he squirted a jet of wine into the back of his mouth. Then he filled
his plate from the bucket and commenced to eat. Robert
Jordan looked at Maria and shook his head. She sat down by him and put her arm
around his shoulder. Each knew how the other felt and they sat there and
Robert Jordan
ate the stew, taking time to appreciate the mushrooms completely, and he
drank the
wine and they said nothing. “You
may stay here, guapa, if you want,” he said after a while when the food was
all eaten.
“Nay,”
she said. “I must go to Pilar.” “It
is all right to stay here. I do not think that anything will happen now.” “Nay. I must go to Pilar. She is giving me
instruction.” “What
does she give thee?” “Instruction.”
She smiled at him and then kissed him. “Did you never hear of religious instruction?”
She blushed. “It is something like that.” She blushed again. “But different.”
“Go
to thy instruction,” he said and patted her on the head. She smiled at him
again, then
said to Primitivo, “Do you want anything from below?” “No,
daughter,” he said. They both saw that he was still not yet recovered. “Salud,
old one,” she said to him. “Listen,”
Primitivo said. “I have no fear to die but to leave them alone thus—” his
voice broke.
“There
was no choice,” Robert Jordan told him. “I
know. But all the same.” “There
was no choice,” Robert Jordan repeated. “And now it is better not to speak of
it.”
“Yes.
But there alone with no aid from us—” “Much
better not to speak of it,” Robert Jordan said. “And thou, guapa, get thee to
thy instruction.”
He
watched her climb down through the rocks. Then he sat there for a long time thinking
and watching the high country. Primitivo
spoke to him but he did not answer. It was hot in the sun but he did not notice
the heat while he sat watching the hill slopes and the long patches of pine
trees that
stretched up the highest slope. An hour passed and the sun was far to his
left now when
he saw them coming over the crest of the slope and he picked up his glasses. The
horses showed small and minute as the first two riders came into sight on the
long
green slope of the high hill. Then there were four more horsemen coming down,
spread
out across the wide hill and then through his glasses he saw the double
column of
men and horses ride into the sharp clarity of his vision. As he watched them
he felt sweat
come from his armpits and run down his flanks. One man rode at the head of
the column.
Then came more horsemen. Then came the riderless horses with their burdens tied
across the saddles. Then there were two riders. Then came the wounded with
men walking
by them as they rode. Then came more cavalry to close the column. Robert
Jordan watched them ride down the slope and out of sight into the timber. He could
not see at that distance the load one saddle bore of a long rolled poncho
tied at each
end and at intervals so that it bulged between each lashing as a pod bulges
with peas.
This was tied across the saddle and at each end it was lashed to the stirrup leathers.
Alongside this on the top of the saddle the automatic rifle Sordo had served was
lashed arrogantly. Lieutenant
Berrendo, who was riding at the head of the column, his flankers out, his point
pushed well forward, felt no arrogance. He felt only the hollowness that comes
after
action. He was thinking: taking the heads is barbarous. But proof and
identification is
necessary. I will have trouble enough about this as it is and who knows? This
of the heads
may appeal to them. There are those of them who like such things. It is
possible they
will send them all to Burgos. It is a barbarous business. The planes were
muchos. Much.
Much. But we could have done it all, and almost without losses, with a Stokes
mortar.
Two mules to carry the shells and a mule with a mortar on each side of the
pack saddle.
What an army we would be then! With the fire power of all these automatic weapons.
And another mule. No, two mules to carry ammunition. Leave it alone, he told himself.
It is no longer cavalry. Leave it alone. You’re building yourself an army.
Next you
will want a mountain gun. Then
he thought of Julián, dead on the hill, dead now, tied across a horse there
in the first
troop, and as he rode down into the dark pine forest, leaving the sunlight
behind him on
the hill, riding now in the quiet dark of the forest, he started to say a
prayer for him again.
“Hail,
holy queen mother of mercy,” he started. “Our life, our sweetness and our
hope. To
thee do we send up our sighs, mournings and weepings in this valley of
tears—” He went on with the prayer the horses’
hooves soft on the fallen pine needles, the light coming
through the tree trunks in patches as it comes through the columns of a cathedral,
and as he prayed he looked ahead to see his flankers riding through the trees.
He
rode out of the forest onto the yellow road that led into La Granja and the
horses’ hooves
raised a dust that hung over them as they rode. It powdered the dead who were
tied
face down across the saddles and the wounded, and those who walked beside them,
were in thick dust. It
was here that Anselmo saw them ride past in their dust. He
counted the dead and the wounded and he recognized Sordo’s automatic rifle.
He did
not know what the poncho-wrapped bundle was which flapped against the led horse’s
flanks as the stirrup leathers swung but when, on his way home, he came in
the dark
onto the hill where Sordo had fought, he knew at once what the long poncho
roll contained.
In the dark he could not tell who had been up on the hill. But he counted those
that lay there and then made off across the hills for Pablo’s camp. Walking
alone in the dark, with a fear like a freezing of his heart from the feeling
the holes
of the bomb craters had given him, from them and from what he had found on
the hill,
he put all thought of the next day out of his mind. He simply walked as fast
as he could
to bring the news. And as he walked he prayed for the souls of Sordo and of
all his
band. It was the first time he had prayed since the start of the movement. “Most
kind, most sweet, most clement Virgin,” he prayed. But
he could not keep from thinking of the next day finally. So he thought: I
will do exactly
as the Inglés says and as he says to do it. But let me be close to him, O
Lord, and
may his instructions be exact for I do not think that I could control myself
under the bombardment
of the planes. Help me, O Lord, tomorrow to comport myself as a man should
in his last hours. Help me, O Lord, to understand clearly the needs of the
day. Help
me, O Lord, to dominate the movement of my legs that I should not run when
the bad
moment comes. Help me, O Lord, to comport myself as a man tomorrow in the day
of
battle. Since I have asked this aid of thee, please grant it, knowing I would
not ask it if it
were not serious, and I will ask nothing more of thee again. Walking
in the dark alone he felt much better from having prayed and he was sure, now,
that he would comport himself well. Walking now down from the high country,
he went
back to praying for the people of Sordo and in a short time he had reached
the upper
post where Fernando challenged him. “It
is I,” he answered, “Anselmo.” “Good,”
Fernando said. “You
know of this of Sordo, old one?” Anselmo asked Fernando, the two of them standing
at the entrance of the big rocks in the dark. “Why
not?” Fernando said. “Pablo has told us.” “He
was up there?” “Why
not?” Fernando said stolidly. “He visited the hill as soon as the cavalry
left.” “He
told you—” “He
told us all,” Fernando said. “What barbarians these fascists are! We must do
away with
all such barbarians in Spain.” He stopped, then said bitterly, “In them is
lacking all conception
of dignity.” Anselmo
grinned in the dark. An hour ago he could not have imagined that he would ever
smile again. What a marvel, that Fernando, he thought. “Yes,”
he said to Fernando. “We must teach them. We must take away their planes, their
automatic weapons, their tanks, their artillery and teach them dignity.” “Exactly,”
Fernando said. “I am glad that you agree.” Anselmo
left him standing there alone with his dignity and went on down to the cave. 29 Anselmo found Robert Jordan sitting at the
plank table inside the cave with Pablo opposite
him. They had a bowl poured full of wine between them and each had a cup of wine
on the table. Robert Jordan had his notebook out and he was holding a pencil.
Pilar
and Maria were in the back of the cave out of sight. There was no way for
Anselmo to
know that the woman was keeping the girl back there to keep her from hearing
the conversation
and he thought that it was odd that Pilar was not at the table. Robert
Jordan looked up as Anselmo came in under the blanket that hung over the opening.
Pablo stared straight at the table. His eyes were focused on the wine bowl
but he
was not seeing it. “I
come from above,” Anselmo said to Robert Jordan. “Pablo
has told us,” Robert Jordan said. “There
were six dead on the hill and they had taken the heads,” Anselmo said. “I was
there
in the dark.” Robert
Jordan nodded. Pablo sat there looking at the wine bowl and saying nothing. There
was no expression on his face and his small pig-eyes were looking at the wine
bowl
as though he had never seen one before. “Sit
down,” Robert Jordan said to Anselmo. The
old man sat down at the table on one of the hide-covered stools and Robert Jordan
reached under the table and brought up the pinch-bottle of whiskey that had been
the gift of Sordo. It was about half-full. Robert Jordan reached down the
table for a cup
and poured a drink of whiskey into it and shoved it along the table to
Anselmo. “Drink
that, old one,” he said. Pablo
looked from the wine bowl to Anselmo’s face as he drank and then he looked back
at the wine bowl. As
Anselmo swallowed the whiskey he felt a burning in his nose, his eyes and his
mouth,
and then a happy, comforting warmth in his stomach. He wiped his mouth with the
back of his hand. Then
he looked at Robert Jordan and said, “Can I have another?” “Why
not?” Robert Jordan said and poured another drink from the bottle and handed
it this
time instead of pushing it. This
time there was not the burning when he swallowed but the warm comfort doubled.
It was as good a thing for his spirit as a saline injection is for a man who
has suffered
a great hemorrhage. The
old man looked toward the bottle again. “The
rest is for tomorrow,” Robert Jordan said. “What passed on the road, old
one?” “There
was much movement,” Anselmo said. “I have it all noted down as you showed me.
I have one watching for me and noting now. Later I will go for her report.” “Did
you see anti-tank guns? Those on rubber tires with the long barrels?” “Yes,”
Anselmo said. “There were four camions which passed on the road. In each of them
there was such a gun with pine branches spread across the barrels. In the
trucks rode
six men with each gun.” “Four
guns, you say?” Robert Jordan asked him. “Four,”
Anselmo said. He did not look at his papers. “Tell
me what else went up the road.” While
Robert Jordan noted Anselmo told him everything he had seen move past him on
the road. He told it from the beginning and in order with the wonderful
memory of those
who cannot read or write, and twice, while he was talking, Pablo reached out
for more
wine from the bowl. “There
was also the cavalry which entered La Granja from the high country where El Sordo
fought,” Anselmo went on. Then
he told the number of the wounded he had seen and the number of the dead across
the saddles. “There
was a bundle packed across one saddle that I did not understand,” he said. “But
now I know it was the heads.” He went on without pausing. “It was a squadron
of cavalry.
They had only one officer left. He was not the one who was here in the early morning
when you were by the gun. He must have been one of the dead. Two of the dead
were officers by their sleeves. They were lashed face down over the saddles,
their arms
hanging. Also they had the máquina of El Sordo tied to the saddle that bore
the heads.
The barrel was bent. That is all,” he finished. “It
is enough,” Robert Jordan said and dipped his cup into the wine bowl. “Who
beside you
has been through the lines to the side of the Republic?” “Andrés
and Eladio.” “Which
is the better of those two?” “Andrés.”
“How
long would it take him to get to Navacerrada from here?” “Carrying
no pack and taking his precautions, in three hours with luck. We came by a longer,
safer route because of the material.” “He
can surely make it?” “No
sé, there is no such thing as surely.” “Not
for thee either?” “Nay.”
That
decides that, Robert Jordan thought to himself. If he had said that he could
make it
surely, surely I would have sent him. “Andrés
can get there as well as thee?” “As
well or better. He is younger.” “But
this must absolutely get there.” “If
nothing happens he will get there. If anything happens it could happen to any
one.” “I
will write a dispatch and send it by him,” Robert Jordan said. “I will
explain to him where
he can find the General. He will be at the Estado Mayor of the Division.” “He
will not understand all this of divisions and all,” Anselmo said. “Always has
it confused
me. He should have the name of the General and where he can be found.” “But
it is at the Estado Mayor of the Division that he will be found.” “But
is that not a place?” “Certainly
it is a place, old one,” Robert Jordan explained patiently. “But it is a
place the
General will have selected. It is where he will make his headquarters for the
battle.” “Where
is it then?” Anselmo was tired and the tiredness was making him stupid. Also words
like Brigades, Divisions, Army Corps confused him. First there had been
columns, then
there were regiments, then there were brigades. Now there were brigades and divisions,
both. He did not understand. A place was a place. “Take
it slowly, old one,” Robert Jordan said. He knew that if he could not make Anselmo
understand he could never explain it clearly to Andrés either. “The Estado Mayor
of the Division is a place the General will have picked to set up his
organization to
command. He commands a division, which is two brigades. I do not know where
it is because
I was not there when it was picked. It will probably be a cave or dugout, a refuge,
and wires will run to it. Andrés must ask for the General and for the Estado Mayor
of the Division. He must give this to the General or to the Chief of his
Estado Mayor
or to another whose name I will write. One of them will surely be there even
if the others
are out inspecting the preparations for the attack. Do you understand now?” “Yes.”
“Then
get Andrés and I will write it now and seal it with this seal.” He showed him
the small,
round, wooden-backed rubber stamp with the seal of the S. I. M. and the
round, tin-covered
inking pad no bigger than a fifty-cent piece he carried in his pocket. “That seal
they will honor. Get Andrés now and I will explain to him. He must go quickly
but first
he must understand.” “He
will understand if I do. But you must make it very clear. This of staffs and
divisions is
a mystery to me. Always have I gone to such things as definite places such as
a house.
In Navacerrada it is in the old hotel where the place of command is. In Guadarrama
it is in a house with a garden.” “With this General,” Robert Jordan said, “it
will be some place very close to the lines. It will
be underground to protect from the planes. Andrés will find it easily by
asking, if he knows
what to ask for. He will only need to show what I have written. But fetch him
now for
this should get there quickly.” Anselmo
went out, ducking under the hanging blanket. Robert Jordan commenced writing
in his notebook. “Listen,
Inglés,” Pablo said, still looking at the wine bowl. “I
am writing,” Robert Jordan said without looking up. “Listen,
Inglés,” Pablo spoke directly to the wine bowl. “There is no need to be disheartened
in this. Without Sordo we have plenty of people to take the posts and blow thy
bridge.” “Good,”
Robert Jordan said without stopping writing. “Plenty,”
Pablo said. “I have admired thy judgment much today, Inglés,” Pablo told the wine
bowl. “I think thou hast much picardia. That thou art smarter than I am. I
have confidence
in thee.” Concentrating
on his report to Golz, trying to put it in the fewest words and still make it
absolutely
convincing, trying to put it so the attack would be cancelled, absolutely,
yet convince
them he wasn’t trying to have it called off because of any fears he might
have about
the danger of his own mission, but wished only to put them in possession of
all the
facts, Robert Jordan was hardly half listening. “Inglés,”
Pablo said. “I
am writing,” Robert Jordan told him without looking up. I
probably should send two copies, he thought. But if I do we will not have
enough people
to blow it if I have to blow it. What do I know about why this attack is
made? Maybe
it is only a holding attack. Maybe they want to draw those troops from somewhere
else. Perhaps they make it to draw those planes from the North. Maybe that is
what it is about. Perhaps it is not expected to succeed. What do I know about
it? This is my
report to Golz. I do not blow the bridge until the attack starts. My orders
are clear and
if the attack is called off I blow nothing. But I’ve got to keep enough
people here for the
bare minimum necessary to carry the orders out. “What
did you say?” he asked Pablo. “That
I have confidence, Inglés.” Pablo was still addressing the wine bowl. Man,
I wish I had, Robert Jordan thought. He went on writing. 30 So now everything had been done that there
was to do that night. All orders had been given.
Every one knew exactly what he was to do in the morning. Andrés had been gone
three
hours. Either it would come now with the coming of the daylight or it would
not come.
I believe that it will come, Robert Jordan told himself, walking back down
from the upper
post where he had gone to speak to Primitivo. Golz
makes the attack but he has not the power to cancel it. Permission to cancel
it will
have to come from Madrid. The chances are they won’t be able to wake anybody
up there
and if they do wake up they will be too sleepy to think. I should have gotten
word to
Golz sooner of the preparations they have made to meet the attack, but how
could I send
word about something until it happened? They did not move up that stuff until
just at
dark. They did not want to have any movement on the road spotted by planes.
But what
about all their planes? What about those fascist planes? Surely
our people must have been warned by them. But perhaps the fascists were faking
for another offensive down through Guadalajara with them. There were supposed
to
be Italian troops concentrated in Soria, and at Siguenza again besides those operating
in the North. They haven’t enough troops or material to run two major offensives
at the same time though. That is impossible; so it must be just a bluff. But
we know how many troops the Italians have landed all last month and the month
before
at Cádiz. It is always possible they will try again at Guadalajara, not
stupidly as before,
but with three main fingers coming down to broaden it out and carry it along
the railway
to the west of the plateau. There was a way that they could do it all right.
Hans had
shown him. They made many mistakes the first time. The whole conception was unsound.
They had not used any of the same troops in the Arganda offensive against the
Madrid-Valencia road that they used at Guadalajara. Why had they not made
those same
drives simultaneously? Why? Why? When would we know why? Yet
we had stopped them both times with the very same troops. We never could have
stopped
them if they had pulled both drives at once. Don’t worry, he told himself.
Look at the
miracles that have happened before this. Either you will have to blow that
bridge in the
morning or you will not have to. But do not start deceiving yourself into
thinking you won’t
have to blow it. You will blow it one day or you will blow it another. Or if
it is not this
bridge it will be some other bridge. It is not you who decides what shall be
done. You
follow orders. Follow them and do not try to think beyond them. The
orders on this are very clear. Too very clear. But you must not worry nor
must you be
frightened. For if you allow yourself the luxury of normal fear that fear
will infect those who
must work with you. But
that heads business was quite a thing all the same, he told himself. And the
old man
running onto them on the hilltop alone. How would you have liked to run onto
them like
that? That impressed you, didn’t it? Yes, that impressed you, Jordan. You
have been
quite impressed more than once today. But you have behaved O.K. So far you have
behaved all right. You
do very well for an instructor in Spanish at the University of Montana, he
joked at himself.
You do all right for that. But do not start to thinking that you are anything
very special.
You haven’t gotten very far in this business. Just remember Durán, who never had
any military training and who was a composer and lad about town before the movement
and is now a damned good general commanding a brigade. It was all as simple
and easy to learn and understand to Durán as chess to a child chess prodigy. You
had read on and studied the art of war ever since you were a boy and your grandfather
had started you on the American Civil War. Except that Grandfather always called
it the War of the Rebellion. But compared with Durán you were like a good
sound chess
player against a boy prodigy. Old Durán. It would be good to see Durán again.
He would
see him at Gaylord’s after this was over. Yes. After this was over. See how
well he
was behaving? I’ll
see him at Gaylord’s, he said to himself again, after this is over. Don’t kid
yourself, he
said. You do it all perfectly O.K. Cold. Without kidding yourself. You aren’t
going to see
Durán any more and it is of no importance. Don’t be that way either, he told
himself. Don’t
go in for any of those luxuries. Nor
for heroic resignation either. We do not want any citizens full of heroic
resignation in
these hills. Your grandfather fought four years in our Civil War and you are
just finishing
your first year in this war. You have a long time to go yet and you are very
well fitted
for the work. And now you have Maria, too. Why, you’ve got everything. You shouldn’t
worry. What is a little brush between a guerilla band and a squadron of cavalry?
That isn’t anything. What if they took the heads? Does that make any difference?
None at all. The
Indians always took the scalps when Grandfather was at Fort Kearny after the war.
Do you remember the cabinet in your father’s office with the arrowheads
spread out on
a shelf, and the eagle feathers of the war bonnets that hung on the wall,
their plumes slanting,
the smoked buckskin smell of the leggings and the shirts and the feel of the beaded
moccasins? Do you remember the great stave of the buffalo bow that leaned in a
corner of the cabinet and the two quivers of hunting and war arrows, and how
the bundle
of shafts felt when you closed your hand around them? Remember
something like that. Remember something concrete and practical. Remember
Grandfather’s saber, bright and well oiled in its dented scabbard and Grandfather
showed you how the blade had been thinned from the many times it had been
to the grinder’s. Remember Grandfather’s Smith and Wesson. It was a single action,
officer’s model .32 caliber and there was no trigger guard. It had the
softest, sweetest
trigger pull you had ever felt and it was always well oiled and the bore was clean
although the finish was all worn off and the brown metal of the barrel and
the cylinder
was worn smooth from the leather of the holster. It was kept in the holster
with a U.S.
on the flap in a drawer in the cabinet with its cleaning equipment and two
hundred rounds
of cartridges. Their cardboard boxes were wrapped and tied neatly with waxed twine.
You
could take the pistol out of the drawer and hold it. “Handle it freely,” was Grandfather’s
expression. But you could not play with it because it was “a serious weapon.”
You
asked Grandfather once if he had ever killed any one with it and he said,
“Yes.” Then
you said, “When, Grandfather?” and he said, “In the War of the Rebellion and afterwards.”
You
said, “Will you tell me about it, Grandfather?” And
he said, “I do not care to speak about it, Robert.” Then
after your father had shot himself with this pistol, and you had come home
from school
and they’d had the funeral, the coroner had returned it after the inquest
saying, “Bob,
I guess you might want to keep the gun. I’m supposed to hold it, but I know
your dad
set a lot of store by it because his dad packed it all through the War,
besides out here
when he first came out with the Cavalry, and it’s still a hell of a good gun.
I had her out
trying her this afternoon. She don’t throw much of a slug but you can hit
things with her.”
He
had put the gun back in the drawer in the cabinet where it belonged, but the
next day
he took it out and he had ridden up to the top of the high country above Red
Lodge, with
Chub, where they had built the road to Cooke City now over the pass and
across the
Bear Tooth plateau, and up there where the wind was thin and there was snow
all summer
on the hills they had stopped by the lake which was supposed to be eight hundred
feet deep and was a deep green color, and Chub held the two horses and he climbed
out on a rock and leaned over and saw his face in the still water, and saw himself
holding the gun, and then he dropped it, holding it by the muzzle, and saw it
go down
making bubbles until it was just as big as a watch charm in that clear water,
and then
it was out of sight. Then he came back off the rock and when he swung up into
the saddle
he gave old Bess such a clout with the spurs she started to buck like an old rocking
horse. He bucked her out along the shore Qf the lake and as soon as she was reasonable
they went on back along the trail. “I
know why you did that with the old gun, Bob,” Chub said. “Well,
then we don’t have to talk about it,” he had said. They
never talked about it and that was the end of Grandfather’s side arms except
for the
saber. He still had the saber in his trunk with the rest of his things at
Missoula. I
wonder what Grandfather would think of this situation, he thought.
Grandfather was a hell
of a good soldier, everybody said. They said if he had been with Custer that
day he never
would have let him be sucked in that way. How could he ever not have seen the
smoke
nor the dust of all those lodges down there in the draw along the Little Big
Horn unless
there must have been a heavy morning mist? But there wasn’t any mist. I
wish Grandfather were here instead of me. Well, maybe we will all be together
by tomorrow
night. If there should be any such damn fool business as a hereafter, and I’m
sure
there isn’t, he thought, I would certainly like to talk to him. Because there
are a lot of
things I would like to know. I have a right to ask him now because I have had
to do the
same sort of things myself. I don’t think he’d mind my asking now. I had no
right to ask
before. I understand him not telling me because he didn’t know me. But now I
think that
we would get along all right. I’d like to be able to talk to him now and get
his advice. Hell,
if I didn’t get advice I’d just like to talk to him. It’s a shame there is
such a jump in time
between ones like us. Then,
as he thought, he realized that if there was any such thing as ever meeting, both
he and his grandfather would be acutely embarrassed by the presence of his father.
Any one has a right to do it, he thought. But it isn’t a good thing to do. I understand
it, but I do not approve of it. Lache was the word. But you do understand it?
Sure,
I understand it but. Yes, but. You have to be awfully occupied with yourself
to do a thing
like that. Aw
hell, I wish Grandfather was here, he thought. For about an hour anyway.
Maybe he
sent me what little I have through that other one that misused the gun. Maybe
that is the
only communication that we have. But, damn it. Truly damn it, but I wish the
time-lag wasn’t
so long so that I could have learned from him what the other one never had to
teach
me. But suppose the fear he had to go through and dominate and just get rid
of finally
in four years of that and then in the Indian fighting, although in that,
mostly, there couldn’t
have been so much fear, had made a cobarde out of the other one the way second
generation bullfighters almost always are? Suppose that? And maybe the good juice
only came through straight again after passing through that one? I’ll
never forget how sick it made me the first time I knew he was a cobarde. Go
on, say
it in English. Coward. It’s easier when you have it said and there is never
any point in
referring to a son of a bitch by some foreign term. He wasn’t any son of a
bitch, though.
He was just a coward and that was the worst luck any man could have. Because
if he wasn’t a coward he would have stood up to that woman and not let her bully
him. I wonder what I would have been like if he had married a different
woman? That’s
something you’ll never know, he thought, and grinned. Maybe the bully in her helped
to supply what was missing in the other. And you. Take it a little easy.
Don’t get to
referring to the good juice and such other things until you are through
tomorrow. Don’t be
snotty too soon. And then don’t be snotty at all. We’ll see what sort of
juice you have tomorrow.
But
he started thinking about Grandfather again. “George
Custer was not an intelligent leader of cavalry, Robert,” his grandfather had
said.
“He was not even an intelligent man.” He
remembered that when his grandfather said that he felt resentment that any
one should
speak against that figure in the buckskin shirt, the yellow curls blowing,
that stood
on that hill holding a service revolver as the Sioux closed in around him in
the old Anheuser-Busch
lithograph that hung on the poolroom wall in Red Lodge. “He
just had great ability to get himself in and out of trouble,” his grandfather
went on, “and
on the Little Big Horn he got into it but he couldn’t get out. “Now
Phil Sheridan was an intelligent man and so was Jeb Stuart. But John Mosby was
the finest cavalry leader that ever lived.” He
had a letter in his things in the trunk at Missoula from General Phil
Sheridan to old Killy-the-Horse
Kilpatrick that said his grandfather was a finer leader of irregular cavalry than
John Mosby. I
ought to tell Golz about my grandfather, he thought. He wouldn’t ever have
heard of him
though. He probably never even heard of John Mosby. The British all had heard
of them
though because they had to study our Civil War much more than people did on
the Continent.
Karkov said after this was over I could go to the Lenin Institute in Moscow
if I wanted
to. He said I could go to the military academy of the Red Army if I wanted to
do that.
I wonder what Grandfather would think of that? Grandfather, who never
knowingly sat
at table with a Democrat in his life. Well,
I don’t want to be a soldier, he thought. I know that. So that’s out. I just
want us to
win this war. I guess really good soldiers are really good at very little
else, he thought. That’s
obviously untrue. Look at Napoleon and Wellington. You’re very stupid this evening,
he thought. Usually
his mind was very good company and tonight it had been when he thought about
his grandfather. Then thinking of his father had thrown him off. He
understood his father
and he forgave him everything and he pitied him but he was ashamed of him. You
better not think at all, he told himself. Soon you will be with Maria and you
won’t have
to think. That’s the best way now that everything is worked out. When you
have been
concentrating so hard on something you can’t stop and your brain gets to
racing like
a flywheel with the weight gone. You better just not think. But
just suppose, he thought. Just suppose that when the planes unload they smash
those
anti-tank guns and just blow hell out of the positions and the old tanks roll
good up whatever
hill it is for once and old Golz boots that bunch of drunks, clochards, bums,
fanatics
and heroes that make up the Quatorzieme Brigade ahead of him, and I know how
good Durán’s people are in Golz’s other brigade, and we are in Segovia
tomorrow night.
Yes.
Just suppose, he said to himself. I’ll settle for La Granja, he told himself.
But you are
going to have to blow that bridge, he suddenly knew absolutely. There won’t
be any calling
off. Because the way you have just been supposing there for a minute is how
the possibilities
of that attack look to those who have ordered it. Yes, you will have to blow the
bridge, he knew truly. Whatever happens to Andrés doesn’t matter. Coming
down the trail there in the dark, alone with the good feeling that everything
that
had to be done was over for the next four hours, and with the confidence that
had come
from thinking back to concrete things, the knowledge that he would surely
have to blow
the bridge came to him almost with comfort. The
uncertainty, the enlargement of the feeling of being uncertain, as when,
through a misunderstanding
of possible dates, one does not know whether the guests are really coming
to a party, that had been with him ever since he had dispatched Andrés with
the report
to Golz, had all dropped from him now. He was sure now that the festival
would not
be cancelled. It’s much better to be sure, he thought. It’s always much
better to be sure.
31 So now they were in the robe again together
and it was late in the last night. Maria lay close
against him and he felt the long smoothness of her thighs against his and her
breasts
like two small hills that rise out of the long plain where there is a well,
and the far country
beyond the hills was the valley of her throat where his lips were. He lay
very quiet
and did not think and she stroked his head with her hand. “Roberto,”
Maria said very softly and kissed him. “I am ashamed. I do not wish to disappoint
thee but there is a great soreness and much pain. I do not think I would be any
good to thee.” “There
is always a great soreness and much pain,” he said. “Nay, rabbit. That is nothing.
We will do nothing that makes pain.” “It
is not that. It is that I am not good to receive thee as I wish to.” “That
is of no importance. That is a passing thing. We are together when we lie together.”
“Yes,
but I am ashamed. I think it was from when things were done to me that it comes.
Not from thee and me.” “Let
us not talk of that.” “Nor
do I wish to. I meant I could not bear to fail thee now on this night and so
I sought to
excuse myself.” “Listen,
rabbit,” he said. “All such things pass and then there is no problem.” But he
thought;
it was not good luck for the last night. Then
he was ashamed and said, “Lie close against me, rabbit. I love thee as much feeling
thee against me in here in the dark as I love thee making love.” “I
am deeply ashamed because I thought it might be again tonight as it was in
the high country
when we came down from El Sordo’s.” “Qué
va,” he said to her. “That is not for every day. I like it thus as well as
the other.” He
lied, putting aside disappointment. “We will be here together quietly and we
will sleep.
Let us talk together. I know thee very little from talking.” “Should
we speak of tomorrow and of thy work? I would like to be intelligent about
thy work.”
“No,”
he said and relaxed completely into the length of the robe and lay now
quietly with
his cheek against her shoulder, his left arm under her head. “The most
intelligent is not
to talk about tomorrow nor what happened today. In this we do not discuss the
losses
and what we must do tomorrow we will do. Thou art not afraid?” “Qué
va,” she said. “I am always afraid. But now I am afraid for thee so much I do
not think
of me.” “Thou
must not, rabbit. I have been in many things. And worse than this,” he lied. Then
suddenly surrendering to something, to the luxury of going into unreality, he
said,
“Let us talk of Madrid and of us in Madrid.” “Good,”
she said. Then, “Oh, Roberto, I am sorry I have failed thee. Is there not
some other
thing that I can do for thee?” He
stroked her head and kissed her and then lay close and relaxed beside her, listening
to the quiet of the night. “Thou
canst talk with me of Madrid,” he said and thought: I’ll keep any oversupply
of that
for tomorrow. I’ll need all of that there is tomorrow. There are no pine
needles that need
that now as I will need it tomorrow. Who was it cast his seed upon the ground
in the
Bible? Onan. How did Onan turn out? he thought. I don’t remember ever hearing
any
more about Onan. He smiled in the dark. Then
he surrendered again and let himself slip into it, feeling a voluptuousness
of surrender
into unreality that was like a sexual acceptance of something that could come
in
the night when there was no understanding, only the delight of acceptance. “My
beloved,” he said, and kissed her. “Listen. The other night I was thinking
about Madrid
and I thought how I would get there and leave thee at the hotel while I went
up to see
people at the hotel of the Russians. But that was false. I would not leave
thee at any hotel.”
“Why
not?” “Because
I will take care of thee. I will not ever leave thee. I will go with thee to
the Seguridad
to get papers. Then I will go with thee to buy those clothes that are
needed.” “They
are few, and I can buy them.” “Nay,
they are many and we will go together and buy good ones and thou wilt be beautiful
in them.” “I
would rather we stayed in the room in the hotel and sent Out for the clothes.
Where is
the hotel?” “It
is on the Plaza del Callao. We will be much in that room in that hotel. There
is a wide
bed with clean sheets and there is hot running water in the bathtub and there
are two
closets and I will keep my things in one and thou wilt take the other. And
there are tall,
wide windows that open, and outside, in the streets, there is the spring.
Also I know good
places to eat that are illegal but with good food, and I know shops where
there is still
wine and whiskey. And we will keep things to eat in the room for when we are hungry
and also whiskey for when I wish a drink and I will buy thee manzanilla.” “I
would like to try the whiskey.” “But
since it is difficult to obtain and if thou likest manzanilla.” “Keep
thy whiskey, Roberto,” she said. “Oh, I love thee very much. Thou and thy whiskey
that I could not have. What a pig thou art.” “Nay,
you shall try it. But it is not good for a woman.” “And
I have only had things that were good for a woman,” Maria said. “Then there
in bed
I will still wear my wedding shirt?” “Nay.
I will buy thee various nightgowns and pajamas too if you should prefer
them.” “I
will buy seven wedding shirts,” she said. “One for each day of the week. And
I will buy
a clean wedding shirt for thee. Dost ever wash thy shirt?” “Sometimes.”
“I
will keep everything clean and I will pour thy whiskey and put the water in
it as it was done
at Sordo’s. I will obtain olives and salted codfish and hazel nuts for thee
to eat while
thou drinkest and we will stay in the room for a month and never leave it. If
I am fit to
receive thee,” she said, suddenly unhappy. “That
is nothing,” Robert Jordan told her. “Truly it is nothing. It is possible
thou wert hurt
there once and now there is a scar that makes a further hurting. Such a thing
is possible.
All such things pass. And also there are good doctors in Madrid if there is
truly anything.”
“But
all was good before,” she said pleadingly. “That
is the promise that all will be good again.” “Then
let us talk again about Madrid.” She curled her legs between his and rubbed
the top
of her head against his shoulder. “But will I not be so ugly there with this
cropped head
that thou wilt be ashamed of me?” “Nay.
Thou art lovely. Thou hast a lovely face and a beautiful body, long and
light, and thy
skin is smooth and the color of burnt gold and every one will try to take
thee from me.”
“Qué
va, take me from thee,” she said. “No other man will ever touch me till I
die. Take me
from thee! Qué va.” “But
many will try. Thou wilt see.” “They
will see I love thee so that they will know it would be as unsafe as putting
their hands
into a caldron of melted lead to touch me. But thou? When thou seest
beautiful women
of the same culture as thee? Thou wilt not be ashamed of me?” “Never.
And I will marry thee.” “If
you wish,” she said. “But since we no longer have the Church I do not think
it carries
importance.” “I
would like us to be married.” “If
you wish. But listen. If we were ever in another country where there still
was the Church
perhaps we could be married in it there.” “In
my country they still have the Church,” he told her. “There we can be married
in it if it
means aught to thee. I have never been married. There is no problem.” “I
am glad thou hast never been married,” she said. “But I am glad thou knowest
about such
things as you have told me for that means thou hast been with many women and the
Pilar told me that it is only such men who are possible for husbands. But
thou wilt not
run with other women now? Because it would kill me.” “I
have never run with many women,” he said, truly. “Until thee I did not think
that I could
love one deeply.” She
stroked his cheeks and then held her hands clasped behind his head. “Thou
must have
known very many.” “Not
to love them.” “Listen.
The Pilar told me something—” “Say
it.” “No.
It is better not to. Let us talk again about Madrid.” “What
was it you were going to say?” “I
do not wish to say it.” “Perhaps
it would be better to say it if it could be important.” “You
think it is important?” “Yes.”
“But
how can you know when you do not know what it is?” “From
thy manner.” “I
will not keep it from you then. The Pilar told me that we would all die
tomorrow and that
you know it as well as she does and that you give it no importance. She said
this not
in criticism but in admiration.” “She
said that?” he said. The crazy bitch, he thought, and he said, “That is more
of her gypsy
manure. That is the way old market women and café cowards talk. That is manuring
obscenity.” He felt the sweat that came from under his armpits and slid down between
his arm and his side and he said to himself, So you are scared, eh? and aloud
he
said, “She is a manure-mouthed superstitious bitch. Let us talk again of
Madrid.” “Then
you know no such thing?” “Of
course not. Do not talk such manure,” he said, using a stronger, ugly word. But
this time when he talked about Madrid there was no slipping into make-believe
again.
Now he was just lying to his girl and to himself to pass the night before
battle and he
knew it. He liked to do it, but all the luxury of the acceptance was gone.
But he started
again. “I
have thought about thy hair,” he said. “And what we can do about it. You see
it grows
now all over thy head the same length like the fur of an animal and it is
lovely to feel
and I love it very much and it is beautiful and it flattens and rises like a
wheatfield in the
wind when I pass my hand over it.” “Pass
thy hand over it.” He
did and left his hand there and went on talking to her throat, as he felt his
own throat
swell. “But in Madrid I thought we could go together to the coiffeur’s and
they could
cut it neatly on the sides and in the back as they cut mine and that way it
would look
better in the town while it is growing out.” “I
would look like thee,” she said and held him close to her. “And then I never
would want
to change it.” “Nay.
It will grow all the time and that will only be to keep it neat at the start
while it is growing
long. How long will it take it to grow long?” “Really
long?” “No.
I mean to thy shoulders. It is thus I would have thee wear it.” “As
Garbo in the cinema?” “Yes,”
he said thickly. Now
the making believe was coming back in a great rush and he would take it all to
him.
It had him now, and again he surrendered and went on. “So it will hang
straight to thy
shoulders and curl at the ends as a wave of the sea curls, and it will be the
color of ripe
wheat and thy face the color of burnt gold and thine eyes the only color they
could be
with thy hair and thy skin, gold with the dark flecks in them, and I will
push thy head back
and look in thy eyes and hold thee tight against me—” “Where?”
“Anywhere.
Wherever it is that we are. How long will it take for thy hair to grow?” “I
do not know because it never had been cut before. But I think in six months
it should be
long enough to hang well below my ears and in a year as long as thou couldst
ever wish.
But do you know what will happen first?” “Tell
me.” “We
will be in the big clean bed in thy famous room in our famous hotel and we
will sit in
the famous bed together and look into the mirror of the armoire and there
will be thee and
there will be me in the glass and then I will turn to thee thus, and put my
arms around
thee thus, and then I will kiss thee thus.” Then
they lay quiet and close together in the night, hot-aching, rigid, close
together and
holding her, Robert Jordan held closely too all those things that he knew
could never
happen, and he went on with it deliberately and said, “Rabbit, we will not
always live
in that hotel.” “Why
not?” “We
can get an apartment in Madrid on that street that runs along the Parque of
the Buen
Retiro. I know an American woman who furnished apartments and rented them before
the movement and I know how to get such an apartment for only the rent that was
paid before the movement. There are apartments there that face on the park
and you
can see all of the park from the windows; the iron fence, the gardens, and
the gravel walks
and the green of the lawns where they touch the gravel, and the trees deep
with shadows
and the many fountains, and now the chestnut trees will be in bloom. In
Madrid we
can walk in the park and row on the lake if the water is back in it now.” “Why
would the water be out?” “They
drained it in November because it made a mark to sight from when the planes came
over for bombing. But I think that the water is back in it now. I am not
sure. But even
if there is no water in it we can walk through all the park away from the
lake and there
is a part that is like a forest with trees from all parts of the world with
their names on
them, with placards that tell what trees they are and where they came from.” “I would almost as soon go the cinema,”
Maria said. “But the trees sound very interesting
and I will learn them all with thee if I can remember them.” “They
are not as in a museum,” Robert Jordan said. “They grow naturally and there are
hills in the park and part of the park is like a jungle. Then below it there
is the book fair
where along the sidewalks there are hundreds of booths with second-hand books
in them
and now, since the movement, there are many books, stolen in the looting of
the houses
which have been bombed and from the houses of the fascists, and brought to the
book fair by those who stole them. I could spend all day every day at the
stalls of the book
fair as I once did in the days before the movement, if I ever could have any
time in Madrid.”
“While
thou art visiting the book fair I will occupy myself with the apartment,”
Maria said.
“Will we have enough money for a servant?” “Surely.
I can get Petra who is at the hotel if she pleases thee. She cooks well and
is clean.
I have eaten there with newspapermen that she cooks for. They have electric stoves
in their rooms.” “If
you wish her,” Maria said. “Or I can find some one. But wilt thou not be away
much with
thy work? They would not let me go with thee on such work as this.” “Perhaps
I can get work in Madrid. I have done this work now for a long time and I have
fought since the start of the movement. It is possible that they would give
me work now
in Madrid. I have never asked for it. I have always been at the front or in
such work as
this. “Do
you know that until I met thee I have never asked for anything? Nor wanted anything?
Nor thought of anything except the movement and the winning of this war? Truly
I have been very pure in my ambitions. I have worked much and now I love thee
and,”
he said it now in a complete embracing of all that would not be, “I love thee
as I love
all that we have fought for. I love thee as I love liberty and dignity and
the rights of all
men to work and not be hungry. I love thee as I love Madrid that we have
defended and
as I love all my comrades that have died. And many have died. Many. Many.
Thou canst
not think how many. But I love thee as I love what I love most in the world
and I love
thee more. I love thee very much, rabbit. More than I can tell thee. But I
say this now
to tell thee a little. I have never had a wife and now I have thee for a wife
and I am happy.”
“I
will make thee as good a wife as I can,” Maria said. “Clearly I am not well
trained but I
will try to make up for that. If we live in Madrid; good. If we must live in
any other place; good.
If we live nowhere and I can go with thee; better. If we go to thy country I
will learn to
talk Inglés like the most Inglés that there is. I will study all their
manners and as they do
so will I do.” “Thou
wilt be very comic.” “Surely.
I will make mistakes but you will tell me and I will never make them twice,
or maybe
only twice. Then in thy country if thou art lonesome for our food I can cook for
thee.
And I will go to a school to learn to be a wife, if there is such a school,
and study at it.”
“There
are such schools but thou dost not need that schooling.” “Pilar
told me that she thought they existed in your country. She had read of them
in a periodical.
And she told me also that I must learn to speak Inglés and to speak it well
so thou
wouldst never be ashamed of me.” “When
did she tell you this?” “Today
while we were packing. Constantly she talked to me about what I should do to be
thy wife.” I
guess she was going to Madrid too, Robert Jordan thought, and said, “What
else did she
say?” “She
said I must take care of my body and guard the line of my figure as though I
were a
bullfighter. She said this was of great importance.” “It
is,” Robert Jordan said. “But thou hast not to worry about that for many
years.” “No.
She said those of our race must watch that always as it can come suddenly.
She told
me she was once as slender as I but that in those days women did not take exercise.
She told me what exercises I should take and that I must not eat too much. She
told me which things not to eat. But I have forgotten and must ask her
again.” “Potatoes,”
he said. “Yes,”
she went on. “It was potatoes and things that are fried. Also when I told her
about
this of the soreness she said I must not tell thee but must support the pain
and not let
thee know. But I told thee because I do not wish to lie to thee ever and also
I feared that
thou might think we did not have the joy in common any longer and that other,
as it was
in the high country, had not truly happened.” “It
was right to tell me.” “Truly?
For I am ashamed and I will do anything for thee that thou should wish. Pilar
has
told me of things one can do for a husband.” “There
is no need to do anything. What we have we have together and we will keep it and
guard it. I love thee thus lying beside thee and touching thee and knowing
thou art truly
there and when thou art ready again we will have all.” “But
hast thou not necessities that I can care for? She explained that to me.” “Nay.
We will have our necessities together. I have no necessities apart from
thee.” “That
seems much better to me. But understand always that I will do what you wish. But
thou must tell me for I have great ignorance and much of what she told me I
did not understand
clearly. For I was ashamed to ask and she is of such great and varied wisdom.”
“Rabbit,”
he said. “Thou art very wonderful.” “Qué
va,” she said. “But to try to learn all of that which goes into wifehood in a
day while
we are breaking camp and packing for a battle with another battle passing in
the country
above is a rare thing and if I make serious mistakes thou must tell me for I
love thee.
It could be possible for me to remember things incorrectly and much that she
told me
was very complicated.” “What
else did she tell thee?” “Pues
so many things I cannot remember them. She said I could tell thee of what was
done
to me if I ever began to think of it again because thou art a good man and
already have
understood it all. But that it were better never to speak of it unless it
came on me as
a black thing as it had been before and then that telling it to thee might
rid me of it.” “Does
it weigh on thee now?” “No.
It is as though it had never happened since we were first together. There is
the sorrow
for my parents always. But that there will be always. But I would have thee
know that
which you should know for thy own pride if I am to be thy wife. Never did I
submit to any
one. Always I fought and always it took two of them or more to do me the
harm. One
would sit on my head and hold me. I tell thee this for thy pride.” “My
pride is in thee. Do not tell it.” “Nay,
I speak of thy own pride which it is necessary to have in thy wife. And
another thing.
My father was the mayor of the village and an honorable man. My mother was an
honorable
woman and a good Catholic and they shot her with my father because of the politics
of my father who was a Republican. I saw both of them shot and my father
said, ‘Viva
la Republica,’ when they shot him standing against the wall of the
slaughterhouse of
our village. “My
mother standing against the same wall said, ‘Viva my husband who was the Mayor
of this village,’ and I hoped they would shoot me too and I was going to say
‘Viva la
Republica y vivan mis padres,’ but instead there was no shooting but instead
the doing
of the things. “Listen.
I will tell thee of one thing since it affects us. After the shooting at the matadero
they took us, those relatives who had seen it but were not shot, back from
the matadero
up the steep hill into the main square of the town. Nearly all were weeping
but some
were numb with what they had seen and the tears had dried in them. I myself could
not cry. I did not notice anything that passed for I could only see my father
and my mother
at the moment of the shooting and my mother saying, ‘Long live my husband who
was Mayor of this village,’ and this was in my head like a scream that would
not die but
kept on and on. For my mother was not a Republican and she would not say,
‘Viva la
Republica,’ but only Viva my father who lay there, on his face, by her feet. “But
what she had said, she had said very loud, like a shriek and then they shot
and she
fell and I tried to leave the line to go to her but we were all tied. The
shooting was done
by the guardia civil and they were still there waiting to shoot more when the
Falangists
herded us away and up the hill leaving the guardias civiles leaning on their rifles
and leaving all the bodies there against the wall. We were tied by the wrists
in a long
line of girls and women and they herded us up by the hill and through the
streets to the
square and in the square they stopped in front of the barbershop which was
across the
square from the city hail. “Then
the two men looked at us and one said, ‘That is the daughter of the Mayor,’
and the
other said, ‘Commence with her.’ “Then
they cut the rope that was on each of my wrists, one saying to others of
them, ‘Tie
up the line,’ and these two took me by the arms and into the barbershop and
lifted me
up and put me in the barber’s chair and held me there. “I
saw my face in the mirror of the barbershop and the faces of those who were holding
me and the faces of three others who were leaning over me and I knew none of their
faces but in the glass I saw myself and them, but they saw only me. And it
was as though
one were in the dentist’s chair and there were many dentists and they were
all insane.
My own face I could hardly recognize because my grief had changed it but I looked
at it and knew that it was me. But my grief was so great that I had no fear
nor any
feeling but my grief. “At
that time I wore my hair in two braids and as I watched in the mirror one of
them lifted
one of the braids and pulled on it so it hurt me suddenly through my grief
and then cut
it off close to my head with a razor. And I saw myself with one braid and a
slash where
the other had been. Then he cut off the other braid but without pulling on it
and the
razor made a small cut on my ear and I saw blood come from it. Canst thou
feel the scar
with thy finger?” “Yes.
But would it be better not to talk of this?” “This
is nothing. I will not talk of that which is bad. So he had cut both braids
close to my
head with a razor and the others laughed and I did not even feel the cut on
my ear and
then he stood in front of me and struck me across the face with the braids
while the other
two held me and he said, ‘This is how we make Red nuns. This will show thee
how to
unite with thy proletarian brothers. Bride of the Red Christ!’ “And
he struck me again and again across the face with the braids which had been mine
and then he put the two of them in my mouth and tied them tight around my
neck, knotting
them in the back to make a gag and the two holding me laughed. “And
all of them who saw it laughed and when I saw them laugh in the mirror I commenced
to cry because until then I had been too frozen in myself from the shooting to
be able to cry. “Then
the one who had gagged me ran a clippers all over my head; first from the forehead
all the way to the back of the neck and then across the top and then all over
my
head and close behind my ears and they held me so I could see into the glass
of the barber’s
mirror all the time that they did this and I could not believe it as I saw it
done and
I cried and I cried but I could not look away from the horror that my face
made with the
mouth open and the braids tied in it and my head coming naked under the
clippers. “And
when the one with the clippers was finished he took a bottle of iodine from
the shelf
of the barber (they had shot the barber too for he belonged to a syndicate,
and he lay
in the doorway of the shop and they had lifted me over him as they brought me
in) and
with the glass wand that is in the iodine bottle he touched me on the ear
where it had
been cut and the small pain of that came through my grief and through my
horror. “Then
he stood in front of me and wrote U. H. P. on my forehead with the iodine, lettering
it slowly and carefully as though he were an artist and I saw all of this as
it happened
in the mirror and I no longer cried for my heart was frozen in me for my
father and
my mother and what happened to me now was nothing and I knew it. “Then
when he had finished the lettering, the Falangist stepped back and looked at me
to examine his work and then he put down the iodine bottle and picked up the clippers
and said, ‘Next,’ and they took me out of the barbershop holding me tight by each
arm and I stumbled over the barber lying there still in the doorway on his
back with his
gray face up, and we nearly collided with Concepción GracIa, my best friend,
that two
of them were bringing in and when she saw me she did not recognize me, and
then she
recognized me, and she screamed, and I could hear her screaming all the time
they were
shoving me across the square, and into the doorway, and up the stairs of the
city hall
and into the office of my father where they laid me onto the couch. And it
was there that
the bad things were done.” “My
rabbit,” Robert Jordan said and held her as close and as gently as he could.
But he
was as full of hate as any man could be. “Do not talk more about it. Do not
tell me any
more for I cannot bear my hatred now.” She
was stiff and cold in his arms and she said, “Nay. I will never talk more of
it. But they
are bad people and I would like to kill some of them with thee if I could.
But I have told
thee this only for thy pride if I am to be thy wife. So thou wouldst
understand.” “I
am glad you told me,” he said. “For tomorrow, with luck, we will kill
plenty.” “But
will we kill Falangists? It was they who did it.” “They
do not fight,” he said gloomily. “They kill at the rear. It is not them we
fight in battle.”
“But
can we not kill them in some way? I would like to kill some very much.” “I
have killed them,” he said. “And we will kill them again. At the trains we
have killed them.”
“I
would like to go for a train with thee,” Maria said. “The time of the train
that Pilar brought
me back from I was somewhat crazy. Did she tell thee how I was?” “Yes.
Do not talk of it.” “I
was dead in my head with a numbness and all I could do was cry. But there is another
thing that I must tell thee. This I must. Then perhaps thou wilt not marry
me. But,
Roberto, if thou should not wish to marry me, can we not, then, just be
always together?”
“I
will marry thee.” “Nay.
I had forgotten this. Perhaps you should not. It is possible that I can never
bear thee
either a son or a daughter for the Pilar says that if I could it would have
happened to
me with the things which were done. I must tell thee that. Oh, I do not know
why I had forgotten
that.” “It
is of no importance, rabbit,” he said. “First it may not be true. That is for
a doctor to say.
Then I would not wish to bring either a son or a daughter into this world as
this world
is. And also you take all the love I have to give.” “I
would like to bear thy son and thy daughter,” she told him. “And how can the
world be
made better if there are no children of us who fight against the fascists?” “Thou,”
he said. “I love thee. Hearest thou? And now we must sleep, rabbit. For I
must be
up long before daylight and the dawn comes early in this month.” “Then
it is all right about the last thing I said? We can still be married?” “We
are married, now. I marry thee now. Thou art my wife. But go to sleep, my
rabbit, for
there is little time now.” “And
we will truly be married? Not just a talking?” “Truly.”
“Then
I will sleep and think of that if I wake.” “I,
too.” “Good
night, my husband.” “Good
night,” he said. “Good night, wife.” He
heard her breathing steadily and regularly now and he knew she was asleep and
he
lay awake and very still not wanting to waken her by moving. He thought of
all the part
she had not told him and he lay there hating and he was pleased there would
be killing
in the morning. But I must not take any of it personally, he thought. Though
how can I keep from it? I know that we did dreadful things to them too. But
it was
because we were uneducated and knew no better. But they did that on purpose and
deliberately. Those who did that are the last flowering of what their
education has produced.
Those are the flowers of Spanish chivalry. What a people they have been. What
sons of bitches from Cortez, Pizarro, Menéndez de Avila all down through
Enrique Lister
to Pablo. And what wonderful people. There is no finer and no worse people in
the world.
No kinder people and no crueler. And who understands them? Not me, because if
I
did I would forgive it all. To understand is to forgive. That’s not true.
Forgiveness has been
exaggerated. Forgiveness is a Christian idea and Spain has never been a Christian
country. It has always had its own special idol worship within the Church.
Otra Virgen
más. I suppose that was why they had to destroy the virgins of their enemies.
Surely
it was deeper with them, with the Spanish religion fanatics, than it was with
the people.
The people had grown away from the Church because the Church was in the government
and the government had always been rotten. This was the only country that the
reformation never reached. They were paying for the Inquisition now, all
right. Well,
it was something to think about. Something to keep your mind from worrying about
your work. It was sounder than pretending. God, he had done a lot of
pretending tonight.
And Pilar had been pretending all day. Sure. What if they were killed
tomorrow? What
did it matter as long as they did the bridge properly? That was all they had
to do tomorrow.
It
didn’t. You couldn’t do these things indefinitely. But you weren’t supposed
to live forever.
Maybe I have had all my life in three days, he thought. If that’s true I wish
we would
have spent the last night differently. But last nights are never any good.
Last nothings
are any good. Yes, last words were good sometimes. “Viva my husband who was
Mayor of this town” was good. He
knew it was good because it made a tingle run all over him when he said it to
himself.
He leaned over and kissed Maria who did not wake. In English he whispered very
quietly, “I’d like to marry you, rabbit. I’m very proud of your family.” 32 On that same night in Madrid there were many
people at the Hotel Gaylord. A car pulled
up under the porte-cochere of the hotel, its headlights painted over with
blue calcimine
and a little man in black riding boots, gray riding breeches and a short,
gray high-buttoned
jacket stepped out and returned the salute of the two sentries as he opened
the door, nodded to the secret policeman who sat at the concierge’s desk and stepped
into the elevator. There were two sentries seated on chairs inside the door,
one on
each side of the marble entrance hall, and these only looked up as the little
man passed
them at the door of the elevator. It was their business to feel every one
they did not
know along the flanks, under the armpits, and over the hip pockets to see if
the person
entering carried a pistol and, if he did, have him check it with the
concierge. But they
knew the short man in riding boots very well and they hardly looked up as he passed.
The
apartment where he lived in Gaylord’s was crowded as he entered. People were sitting
and standing about and talking together as in any drawing room and the men
and the
women were drinking vodka, whiskey and soda, and beer from small glasses
filled from
great pitchers. Four of the men were in uniform. The others wore windbreakers
or leather
jackets.and three of the four women were dressed in ordinary street dresses while
the fourth, who was haggardly thin and dark, wore a sort of severely cut militiawoman’s
uniform with a skirt with high boots under it. When
he came into the room, Karkov went at once to the woman in the uniform and bowed
to her and shook hands. She was his wife and he said something to her in Russian
that no one could hear and for a moment the insolence that had been in his eyes
as he entered the room was gone. Then it lighted again as he saw the mahoganycolored
head and the love-lazy face of the well-constructed girl who was his mistress
and he strode with short, precise steps over to her and bowed and shook her hand
in such a way that no one could tell it was not a mimicry of his greeting to
his wife. His
wife had not looked after him as he walked across the room. She was standing
with a
tall, good-looking Spanish officer and they were talking Russian now. “Your
great love is getting a little fat,” Karkov was saying to the girl. “All of
our heroes are
fattening now as we approach the second year.” He did not look at the man he
was speaking
of. “You
are so ugly you would be jealous of a toad,” the girl told him cheerfully.
She spoke
in German. “Can I go with thee to the offensive tomorrow?” “No.
Nor is there one.” “Every
one knows about it,” the girl said. “Don’t be so mysterious. Dolores is
going. I will
go with her or Carmen. Many people are going.” “Go
with whoever will take you,” Karkov said. “I will not.” Then
he turned to the girl and asked seriously, “Who told thee of it? Be exact.” “Richard,”
she said as seriously. Karkov
shrugged his shoulders and left her standing. “Karkov,”
a man of middle height with a gray, heavy, sagging face, puffed eye pouches
and a pendulous under-lip called to him in a dyspeptic voice. “Have you heard
the
good news?” Karkov
went over to him and the man said, “I only have it now. Not ten minutes ago.
It is
wonderful. All day the fascists have been fighting among themselves near
Segovia. They
have been forced to quell the mutinies with automatic rifle and machine-gun
fire. In the
afternoon they were bombing their own troops with planes.” “Yes?”
asked Karkov. “That
is true,” the puffy-eyed man said. “Dolores brought the news herself. She was
here
with the news and was in such a state of radiant exultation as I have never
seen. The
truth of the news shone from her face. That great face—” he said happily. “That
great face,” Karkov said with no tone in his voice at all. “If
you could have heard her,” the puffy-eyed man said. “The news itself shone
from her
with a light that was not of this world. In her voice you could tell the
truth of what she said.
I am putting it in an article for Izvestia. It was one of the greatest
moments of the war
to me when I heard the report in that great voice where pity, compassion and
truth are
blended. Goodness and truth shine from her as from a true saint of the
people. Not for
nothing is she called La Pasionaria.” “Not
for nothing,” Karkov said in a dull voice. “You better write it for Izvestia
now, before
you forget that last beautiful lead.” “That
is a woman that is not to joke about. Not even by a cynic like you,” the
puffy- eyed
man said. “If you could have been here to hear her and to see her face.” “That
great voice,” Karkov said. “That great face. Write it,” he said. “Don’t tell
it to me. Don’t
waste whole paragraphs on me. Go and write it now.” “Not
just now.” “I
think you’d better,” Karkov said and looked at him, and then looked away. The
puffy- eyed
man stood there a couple of minutes more holding his glass of vodka, his
eyes, puffy
as they were, absorbed in the beauty of what he had seen and heard and then
he left
the room to write it. Karkov
went over to another man of about forty-eight, who was short, chunky, jovial- looking
with pale blue eyes, thinning blond hair and a gay mouth under a bristly
yellow moustache.
This man was in uniform. He was a divisional commander and he was a Hungarian.
“Were
you here when the Dolores was here?” Karkov asked the man. “Yes.”
“What
was the stuff?” “Something
about the fascists fighting among themselves. Beautiful if true.” “You
hear much talk of tomorrow.” “Scandalous. All the journalists should be
shot as well as most of the people in this room
and certainly the intriguing German unmentionable of a Richard. Whoever gave that
Sunday fuggler command of a brigade should be shot. Perhaps you and me should
be
shot too. It is possible,” the General laughed. “Don’t suggest it though.” “That
is a thing I never like to talk about,” Karkov said. “That American who comes
here
sometimes is over there. You know the one, Jordan, who is with the partizan group.
He is there where this business they spoke of is supposed to happen.” “Well,
he should have a report through on it tonight then,” the General said. “They don’t
like me down there or I’d go down and find out for you. He works with Golz on
this, doesn’t
he? You’ll see Golz tomorrow.” “Early
tomorrow.” “Keep
out of his way until it’s going well,” the General said. “He hates you
bastards as much
as I do. Though he has a much better temper.” “But
about this—” “It
was probably the fascists having manoeuvres,” the General grinned. “Well,
we’ll see
if Golz can manceuvre them a little. Let Golz try his hand at it. We
manoeuvred them
at Guadalajara.” “I
hear you are travelling too,” Karkov said, showing his bad teeth as he
smiled. The General
was suddenly angry. “And
me too. Now is the mouth on me. And on all of us always. This filthy sewing circle
of gossip. One man who could keep his mouth shut could save the country if he
believed
he could.” “Your
friend Prieto can keep his mouth shut.” “But
he doesn’t believe he can win. How can you win without belief in the people?”
“You
decide that,” Karkov said. “I am going to get a little sleep.” He
left the smoky, gossip-filled room and went into the back bedroom and sat
down on the
bed and pulled his boots off. He could still hear them talking so he shut the
door and opened
the window. He did not bother to undress because at two o’clock he would be starting
for the drive by Colmenar, Cerceda, and Navacerrada up to the front where Golz
would be attacking in the morning. 33 It was two o’clock in the morning when Pilar
waked him. As her hand touched him he thought,
at first, it was Maria and he rolled toward her and said, “Rabbit.” Then the woman’s
big hand shook his shoulder and he was suddenly, completely and absolutely awake
and his hand was around the butt of the pistol that lay alongside of his bare
right leg
and all of him was as cocked as the pistol with its safety catch slipped off.
In
the dark he saw it was Pilar and he looked at the dial of his wrist watch
with the two hands
shining in the short angle close to the top and seeing it was only two, he
said, “What
passes with thee, woman?” “Pablo
is gone,” the big woman said to him. Robert
Jordan put on his trousers and shoes. Maria had not waked. “When?”
he asked. “It
must be an hour.” “And?”
“He
has taken something of thine,” the woman said miserably. “So.
What?” “I
do not know,” she told him. “Come and see.” In
the dark they walked over to the entrance of the cave, ducked under the
blanket and
went in. Robert Jordan followed her in the dead-ashes, bad-air and
sleeping-men smell
of the cave, shining his electric torch so that he would not step on any of
those who
were sleeping on the floor. Anselmo woke and said, “Is it time?” “No,”
Robert Jordan whispered. “Sleep, old one.” The
two sacks were at the head of Pilar’s bed which was screened off with a
hanging blanket
from the rest of the cave. The bed smelt stale and sweat-dried and
sickly-sweet the
way an Indian’s bed does as Robert Jordan knelt on it and shone the torch on
the two
sacks. There was a long slit from top to bottom in each one. Holding the
torch in his left
hand, Robert Jordan felt in the first sack with his right hand. This was the
one that he carried
his robe in and it should not be very full. It was not very full. There was
some wire
in it still but the square wooden box of the exploder was gone. So was the
cigar box with
the carefully wrapped and packed detonators. So was the screw-top tin with
the fuse
and the caps. Robert
Jordan felt in the other sack. It was still full of explosive. There might be
one packet
missing. He
stood up and turned to the woman. There is a hollow empty feeling that a man
can have
when he is waked too early in the morning that is almost like the feeling of
disaster and
he had this multiplied a thousand times. “And
this is what you call guarding one’s materials,” he said. “I
slept with my head against them and one arm touching them,” Pilar told him. “You
slept well.” “Listen,”
the woman said. “He got up in the night and I said, ‘Where do you go, Pablo?’
‘To
urinate, woman,’ he told me and I slept again. When I woke again I did not
know what
time had passed but I thought, when he was not there, that he had gone down
to look
at the horses as was his custom. Then,” she finished miserably, “when he did
not come
I worried and when I worried I felt of the sacks to be sure all was well and
there were
the slit places and I came to thee.” “Come
on,” Robert Jordan said. They
were outside now and it was still so near the middle of the night that you
could not
feel the morning coming. “Can
he get out with the horses other ways than by the sentry?” “Two
ways.” “Who’s
at the top?” “Eladio.”
Robert
Jordan said nothing more until they reached the meadow where the horses were
staked out to feed. There were three horses feeding in the meadow. The big
bay and
the gray were gone. “How
long ago do you think it was he left you?” “It
must have been an hour.” “Then
that is that,” Robert Jordan said. “I go to get what is left of my sacks and
go back
to bed.” “I
will guard them.” “Qué
va, you will guard them. You’ve guarded them once already.” “Inglés,”
the woman said, “I feel in regard to this as you do. There is nothing I would
not
do to bring back thy property. You have no need to hurt me. We have both been
betrayed
by Pablo.” As
she said this Robert Jordan realized that he could not afford the luxury of
being bitter,
that he could not quarrel with this woman. He had to work with this woman on
that day
that was already two hours and more gone. He
put his hand on her shoulder. “It is nothing, Pilar,” he told her. “What is
gone is of small
importance. We shall improvise something that will do as well.” “But
what did he take?” “Nothing,
woman. Some luxuries that one permits oneself.” “Was
it part of thy mechanism for the exploding?” “Yes.
But there are other ways to do the exploding. Tell me, did Pablo not have
caps and
fuse? Surely they would have equipped him with those?” “He
has taken them,” she said miserably. “I looked at once for them. They are
gone, too.”
They
walked back through the woods to the entrance of the cave. “Get
some sleep,” he said. “We are better off with Pablo gone.” “I go to see Eladio.” “He
will have gone another way.” “I
go anyway. I have betrayed thee with my lack of smartness.” “Nay,”
he said. “Get some sleep, woman. We must be under way at four.” He
went into the cave with her and brought out the two sacks, carrying them held
together
in both arms so that nothing could spill from the slits. “Let
me sew them up.” “Before
we start,” he said softly. “I take them not against you but so that I can sleep.”
“I
must have them early to sew them.” “You
shall have them early,” he told her. “Get some sleep, woman.” “Nay,”
she said. “I have failed thee and I have failed the Republic.” “Get
thee some sleep, woman,” he told her gently. “Get thee some sleep.” 34 The fascists held the crests of the hills
here. Then there was a valley that no one held except
for a fascist post in a farmhouse with its outbuildings and its barn that
they had fortified.
Andrés, on his way to Golz with the message from Robert Jordan, made a wide circle
around this post in the dark. He knew where there was a trip wire laid that
fired a set-gun
and he located it in the dark, stepped over it, and started along the small
stream bordered
with poplars whose leaves were moving with the night wind. A cock crowed at the
farmhouse that was the fascist post and as he walked along the stream he
looked back
and saw, through the trunks of the poplars, a light showing at the lower edge
of one
of the windows of the farmhouse. The night was quiet and clear and Andrés
left the stream
and struck across the meadow. There
were four haycocks in the meadow that had stood there ever since the fighting
in
July of the year before. No one had ever carried the hay away and the four
seasons that
had passed had flattened the cocks and made the hay worthless. Andrés
thought what a waste it was as he stepped over a trip wire that ran between two
of the haycocks. But the Republicans would have had to carry the hay up the
steep Guadarrama
slope that rose beyond the meadow and the fascists did not need it, I suppose,
he thought. They
have all the hay they need and all the grain. They have much, he thought. But
we
will give them a blow tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning we will give them something
for Sordo. What barbarians they are! But in the morning there will be dust on
the
road. He
wanted to get this message-taking over and be back for the attack on the
posts in the
morning. Did he really want to get back though or did he only pretend he
wanted to be
back? He knew the reprieved feeling he had felt when the Inglés had told him
he was to
go with the message. He had faced the prospect of the morning calmly. It was
what was
to be done. He had voted for it and would do it. The wiping out of Sordo had impressed
him deeply. But, after all, that was Sordo. That was not them. What they had to
do they would do. But
when the Inglés had spoken to him of the message he had felt the way he used
to feel
when he was a boy and he had wakened in the morning of the festival of his
village and
heard it raining hard so that he knew that it would be too wet and that the
bullbaiting in
the square would be cancelled. He
loved the bullbaiting when he was a boy and he looked forward to it and to
the moment
when he would be in the square in the hot sun and the dust with the carts ranged
all around to close the exits and to make a closed place into which the bull
would come,
sliding down out of his box, braking with all four feet, when they pulled the
end- gate
up. He looked forward with excitement, delight and sweating fear to the
moment when,
in the square, he would hear the clatter of the bull’s horns knocking against
the wood
of his travelling box, and then the sight of him as he came, sliding, braking
out into the
square, his head up, his nostrils wide, his ears twitching, dust in the sheen
of his black
hide, dried crut splashed on his flanks, watching his eyes set wide apart, unblinking
eyes under the widespread horns as smooth and solid as driftwood polished by
the sand, the sharp tips uptilted so that to see them did something to your
heart. He
looked forward all the year to that moment when the bull would come out into
the square
on that day when you watched his eyes while he made his choice of whom in the
square
he would attack in that sudden head-lowering, horn-reaching, quick catgallop that
stopped your heart dead when it started. He had looked forward to that moment
all the
year when he was a boy; but the feeling when the Inglés gave the order about
the message
was the same as when you woke to hear the reprieve of the rain falling on the
slate
roof, against the stone wall and into the puddles on the dirt Street of the
village. He
had always been very brave with the bull in those village capeas, as brave as
any in
the village or of the other near-by villages, and not for anything would he
have missed it
any year although he did not go to the capeas of other villages. He was able
to wait still
when the bull charged and only jumped aside at the last moment. He waved a
sack under
his muzzle to draw him off when the bull had some one down and many times he had
held and pulled on the horns when the bull had some one on the ground and
pulled sideways
on the horn, had slapped and kicked him in the face until he left the man to charge
some one else. He
had held the bull’s tail to pull him away from a fallen man, bracing hard and
pulling and
twisting. Once he had pulled the tail around with one hand until he could
reach a horn
with the other and when the bull had lifted his head to charge him he had run
backwards,
circling with the bull, holding the tail in one hand and the horn in the
other until
the crowd had swarmed onto the bull with their knives and stabbed him. In the
dust and
the heat, the shouting, the bull and man and wine smell, he had been in the
first of the
crowd that threw themselves onto the bull and he knew the feeling when the
bull rocked
and bucked under him and he lay across the withers with one arm locked around
the
base of the horn and his hand holding the other horn tight, his fingers
locked as his body
tossed and wrenched and his left arm felt as though it would tear from the
socket while
he lay on the hot, dusty, bristly, tossing slope of muscle, the ear clenched
tight in his
teeth, and drove his knife again and again and again into the swelling,
tossing bulge of
the neck that was now spouting hot on his fist as he let his weight hang on
the high slope
of the withers and banged and banged into the neck. The
first time he had bit the ear like that and held onto it, his neck and jaws
stiffened against
the tossing, they had all made fun of him afterwards. But though they joked him
about
it they had great respect for him. And every year after that he had to repeat
it. They
called him the bulldog of Villaconejos and joked about him eating cattle raw.
But every
one in the village looked forward to seeing him do it and every year he knew
that first
the bull would come out, then there would be the charges and the tossing, and
then when
they yelled for the rush for the killing he would place himself to rush
through the other
attackers and leap for his hold. Then, when it was over, and the bull settled
and sunk
dead finally under the weight of the killers, he would stand up and walk away
ashamed
of the ear part, but also as proud as a man could be. And he would go through
the
carts to wash his hands at the stone fountain and men would clap him on the
back and
hand him wineskins and say, “Hurray for you, Bulldog. Long life to your
mother.” Or
they would say, “That’s what it is to have a pair of cojones! Year after
year!” Andrés
would be ashamed, empty-feeling, proud and happy, and he would shake them
all off and wash his hands and his right arm and wash his knife well and then
take one
of the wineskins and rinse the ear-taste out of his mouth for that year;
spitting the wine
on the stone flags of the plaza before he lifted the wineskin high and let
the wine spurt
into the back of his mouth. Surely.
He was the Bulldog of Villaconejos and not for anything would he have missed doing
it each year in his village. But he knew there was no better feeling than that
one the
sound of the rain gave when he knew he would not have to do it. But
I must go back, he told himself. There is no question but that I must go back
for the
affair of the posts and the bridge. My brother Eladio is there, who is of my
own bone and
flesh. Anselmo, Primitivo, Fernando, Agustín, Rafael, though clearly he is
not serious,
the two women, Pablo and the Inglés, though the Inglés does not count since he
is a foreigner and under orders. They are all in for it. It is impossible that
I should escape
this proving through the accident of a message. I must deliver this message
now quickly
and well and then make all haste to return in time for the assault on the
posts. It would
be ignoble of me not to participate in this action because of the accident of
this message.
That could not be clearer. And besides, he told himself, as one who suddenly remembers
that there will be pleasure too in an engagement only the onerous aspects of
which he has been considering, and besides I will enjoy the killing of some
fascists. It has
been too long since we have destroyed any. Tomorrow can be a day of much
valid action.
Tomorrow can be a day of concrete acts. Tomorrow can be a day which is worth something.
That tomorrow should come and that I should be there. Just
then, as knee deep in the gorse he climbed the steep slope that led to the Republican
lines, a partridge flew up from under his feet, exploding in a whirr of wingbeats
in the dark and he felt a sudden breath-stopping fright. It is the
suddenness, he
thought. How can they move their wings that fast? She must be nesting now. I probably
trod close to the eggs. If there were not this war I would tie a handkerchief
to the
bush and come back in the daytime and search out the nest and I could take
the eggs
and put them under a setting hen and when they hatched we would have little partridges
in the poultry yard and I would watch them grow and, when they were grown, I’d
use them for callers. I wouldn’t blind them because they would be tame. Or do
you suppose
they would fly off? Probably. Then I would have to blind them. But
I don’t like to do that after I have raised them. I could clip the wings or
tether them by
one leg when I used them for calling. If there was no war I would go with
Eladio to get crayfish
from that stream back there by the fascist post. One time we got four dozen from
that stream in a day. If we go to the Sierra de Gredos after this of the
bridge there are
fine streams there for trout and for crayfish also. I hope we go to Gredos,
he thought.
We could make a good life in Gredos in the summer time and in the fall but it
would
be terribly cold in winter. But by winter maybe we will have won the war. If
our father had not been a Republican both Eladio and I would be soldiers now
with the
fascists and if one were a soldier with them then there would be no problem.
One would
obey orders and one would live or die and in the end it would be however it
would be.
It was easier to live under a regime than to fight it. But
this irregular fighting was a thing of much responsibility. There was much
worry if you
were one to worry. Eladio thinks more than I do. Also he worries. I believe
truly in the
cause and I do not worry. But it is a life of much responsibility. I
think that we are born into a time of great difficulty, he thought. I think
any other time was
probably easier. One suffers little because all of us have been formed to
resist suffering.
They who suffer are unsuited to this climate. But it is a time of difficult decisions.
The fascists attacked and made our decision for us. We fight to live. But I would
like to have it so that I could tie a handkerchief to that bush back there
and come in
the daylight and take the eggs and put them under a hen and be able to see
the chicks
of the partridge in my own courtyard. I would like such small and regular
things. But
you have no house and no courtyard in your no-house, he thought. You have no family
but a brother who goes to battle tomorrow and you own nothing but the wind
and the
sun and an empty belly. The wind is small, he thought, and there is no sun.
You have
four grenades in your pocket but they are only good to throw away. You have a
carbine
on your back but it is only good to give away bullets. You have a message to give
away. And you’re full of crap that you can give to the earth, he grinned in
the dark. You
can anoint it also with urine. Everything you have is to give. Thou art a phenomenon
of philosophy and an unfortunate man, he told himself and grinned again. But
for all his noble thinking a little while before there was in him that
reprieved feeling that
had always come with the sound of rain in the village on the morning of the
fiesta. Ahead
of him now at the top of the ridge was the government position where he knew he
would be challenged. 35 Robert Jordan lay in the robe beside the
girl Maria who was still sleeping. He lay on his
side turned away from the girl and he felt her long body against his back and
the touch
of it now was just an irony. You, you, he raged at himself. Yes, you. You
told yourself
the first time you saw him that when he would be friendly would be when the treachery
would come. You damned fool. You utter blasted damned fool. Chuck all that. That’s
not what you have to do now. What
are the chances that he hid them or threw them away? Not so good. Besides you’d
never find them in the dark. He would have kept them. He took some dynamite, too.
Oh, the dirty, vile, treacherous sod. The dirty rotten crut. Why couldn’t he
have just mucked
off and not have taken the exploder and the detonators? Why was I such an utter
goddamned fool as to leave them with that bloody woman? The smart,
treacherous ugly
bastard. The dirty cabrón. Cut
it out and take it easy, he told himself. You had to take chances and that
was the best
there was. You’re just mucked, he told himself. You’re mucked for good and
higher than
a kite. Keep your damned head and get the anger out and stop this cheap lamenting
like a damned wailing wall. It’s gone. God damn you, it’s gone. Oh damn the dirty
swine to hell. You can muck your way out of it. You’ve got to, you know
you’ve got to
blow it if you have to stand there and—cut Out that stuff, too. Why don’t you
ask your grandfather?
Oh,
muck my grandfather and muck this whole treacherous muckfaced mucking country
and every mucking Spaniard in it on either side and to hell forever. Muck
them to
hell together, Largo, Prieto, Asensio, Miaja, Rojo, all of them. Muck every
one of them to
death to hell. Muck the whole treachery-ridden country. Muck their egotism
and their selfishness
and their selfishness and their egotism and their conceit and their
treachery. Muck
them to hell and always. Muck them before we die for them. Muck them after we
die
for them. Muck them to death and hell. God muck Pablo. Pablo is all of them.
God pity
the Spanish people. Any leader they have will muck them. One good man, Pablo Iglesias,
in two thousand years and everybody else mucking them. How do we know how
he would have stood up in this war? I remember when I thought Largo was O.K. Durruti
was good and his own people shot him there at the Puente de los Franceses. Shot
him because he wanted them to attack. Shot him in the glorious discipline of indiscipline.
The cowardly swine. Oh muck them all to hell and be damned. And that Pablo
that just mucked off with my exploder and my box of detonators. Oh muck him
to deepest
hell. But no. He’s mucked us instead. They always muck you instead, from Cortez
and Menendez de Avila down to Miaja. Look at what Miaja did to Kleber. The bald
egotistical swine. The stupid egg-headed bastard. Muck all the insane,
egotistical, treacherous
swine that have always governed Spain and ruled her armies. Muck everybody
but the people and then be damned careful what they turn into when they have
power. His
rage began to thin as he exaggerated more and more and spread his scorn and contempt
so widely and unjustly that he could no longer believe in it himself. If that
were true
what are you here for? It’s not true and you know it. Look at all the good
ones. Look at
all the fine ones. He could not bear to be unjust. He hated injustice as he
hated cruelty
and he lay in his rage that blinded his mind until gradually the anger died
down and
the red, black, blinding, killing anger was all gone and his mind now as
quiet, empty-calm
and sharp, cold-seeing as a man is after he has had sexual intercourse with a
woman that he does not love. “And
you, you poor rabbit,” he leaned over and said to Maria, who smiled in her
sleep and
moved close against him. “I would have struck thee there awhile back if thou
had spoken.
What an animal a man is in a rage.” He
lay close to the girl now with his arms around her and his chin on her
shoulder and lying
there he figured out exactly what he would have to do and how he would have
to do
it. And it isn’t so bad, he thought. It really isn’t
so bad at all. I don’t know whether any one has
ever done it before. But there will always be people who will do it from now
on, given
a similar jam. If we do it and if they hear about it. If they hear about it,
yes. If they do
not just wonder how it was we did it. We are too short of people but there is
no sense to
worry about that. I will do the bridge with what we have. God, I’m glad I got
over being angry.
It was like not being able to breathe in a storm. That being angry is another
damned
luxury you can’t afford. “It’s
all figured out, guapa,” he said softly against Maria’s shoulder. “You
haven’t been bothered
by any of it. You have not known about it. We’ll be killed but we’ll blow the
bridge.
You have not had to worry about it. That isn’t much of a wedding present. But
is not
a good night’s sleep supposed to be priceless? You had a good night’s sleep.
See if you
can wear that like a ring on your finger. Sleep, guapa. Sleep well, my
beloved. I do not
wake thee. That is all I can do for thee now.” He
lay there holding her very lightly, feeling her breathe and feeling her heart
beat, and
keeping track of the time on his wrist watch. 36 Andrés had challenged at the government
position. That is, he had lain down where the
ground fell sharply away below the triple belt of wire and shouted up at the
rock and earth
parapet. There was no continual defensive line and he could easily have
passed this
position in the dark and made his way farther into the government territory
before running
into some one who would challenge him. But it seemed safer and simpler to get
it
over here. “Salud!”
he had shouted. “Salud, milicianos!” He
heard a bolt snick as it was pulled back. Then, from farther down the
parapet, a rifle
fired. There was a crashing crack and a downward stab of yellow in the dark. Andrés
had flattened at the click, the top of his head hard against the ground. “Don’t
shoot, Comrades,” Andrés shouted. “Don’t shoot! I want to come in.” “How
many are you?” some one called from behind the parapet. “One.
Me. Alone.” “Who
are you?” “Andrés
Lopez of Villaconejos. From the band of Pablo. With a message.” “Have
you your rifle and equipment?” “Yes,
man.” “We
can take in none without rifle and equipment,” the voice said. “Nor in larger
groups
than three.” “I
am alone,” Andrés shouted. “It is important. Let me come in.” He
could hear them talking behind the parapet but not what they were saying.
Then the
voice shouted again, “How many are you?” “One.
Me. Alone. For the love of God.” They
were talking behind the parapet again. Then the voice came, “Listen,
fascist.” “I
am not a fascist,” Andrés shouted. “I am a guerrillero from the band of
Pablo. I come with
a message for the General Staff.” “He’s
crazy,” he heard some one say. “Toss a bomb at him.” “Listen,”
Andrés said. “I am alone. I am completely by myself. I obscenity in the midst
of
the holy mysteries that I am alone. Let me come in.” “He
speaks like a Christian,” he heard some one say and laugh. Then
some one else said, “The best thing is to toss a bomb down on him.” “No,”
Andrés shouted. “That would be a great mistake. This is important. Let me
come in.”
It
was for this reason that he had never enjoyed trips back and forth between
the lines. Sometimes
it was better than others. But it was never good. “You
are alone?” the voice called down again. “Me
cago en la leche,” Andrés shouted. “How many times must I tell thee? I AM ALONE.”
“Then
if you should be alone stand up and hold thy rifle over thy head.” Andrés
stood up and put the carbine above his head, holding it in both hands. “Now
come through the wire. We have thee covered with the máquina,” the voice called.
Andrés
was in the first zigzag belt of wire. “I need my hands to get through the
wire,” he
shouted. “Keep
them up,” the voice commanded. “I
am held fast by the wire,” Andrés called. “It
would have been simpler to have thrown a bomb at him,” a voice said. “Let
him sling his rifle,” another voice said. “He cannot come through there with
his hands
above his head. Use a little reason.” “All
these fascists are the same,” the other voice said. “They demand one
condition after
another.” “Listen,”
Andrés shouted. “I am no fascist but a guerrillero from the band of Pablo. We’ve
killed more fascists than the typhus.” “I
have never heard of the band of Pablo,” the man who was evidently in command
of the
post said. “Neither of Peter nor of Paul nor of any of the other saints nor
apostles. Nor
of their bands. Sling thy rifle over thy shoulder and use thy hands to come
through the
wire.” “Before
we loose the máquina on thee,” another shouted. “Qué
poco amables sois!” Andrés said. “You’re not very amiable.” He
was working his way through the wire. “Amables,”
some one shouted at him. “We are in a war, man.” “It
begins to appear so,” Andrés said. “What’s
he say?” Andrés
heard a bolt click again. “Nothing,”
he shouted. “I say nothing. Do not shoot until I get through this fornicating
wire.”
“Don’t
speak badly of our wire,” some one shouted. “Or we’ll toss a bomb on you.” “Quiero
decir, qué buena alambrada,” Andrés shouted. “What beautiful wire. God in a latrine.
What lovely wire. Soon I will be with thee, brothers.” “Throw
a bomb at him,” he heard the one voice say. “I tell you that’s the soundest
way to
deal with the whole thing.” “Brothers,”
Andrés said. He was wet through with sweat and he knew the bomb advocate
was perfectly capable of tossing a grenade at any moment. “I have no importance.”
“I
believe it,” the bomb man said. “You
are right,” Andrés said. He was working carefully through the third belt of
wire and
he was very close to the parapet. “I have no importance of any kind. But the
affair is serious.
Muy, muy serio.” “There
is no more serious thing than liberty,” the bomb man shouted. “Thou thinkest there
is anything more serious than liberty?” he asked challengingly. “No,
man,” Andrés said, relieved. He knew now he was up against the crazies; the ones
with the black-and-red scarves. “Viva la Libertad!” “Viva
la F. A. I. Viva la C.N.T.,” they shouted back at him from the parapet. “Viva
el anarco-sindicalismo
and liberty.” “Viva
nosotros,” Andrés shouted. “Long life to us.” “He
is a coreligionary of ours,” the bomb man said. “And I might have killed him
with this.”
He
looked at the grenade in his hand and was deeply moved as Andrés climbed over
the
parapet. Putting his arms around him, the grenade still in one hand, so that
it rested against
Andrés’s shoulder blade as he embraced him, the bomb man kissed him on both
cheeks. “I
am content that nothing happened to thee, brother,” he said. “I am very
content.” “Where is thy officer?” Andrés asked. “I
command here,” a man said. “Let me see thy papers.” He
took them into a dugout and looked at them with the light of a candle. There
was the
little square of folded silk with the colors of the Republic and the seal of
the S. I. M. in
the center. There was the Salvoconducto or safe-conduct pass giving his name,
age, height,
birthplace and mission that Robert Jordan had written out on a sheet from his
notebook
and sealed with the S. I. M. rubber stamp and there were the four folded sheets
of the dispatch to Golz which were tied around with a cord and sealed with
wax and
the impression of the metal S. I. M. seal that was set in the top end of the
wooden handle
of the rubber stamp. “This
I have seen,” the man in command of the post said and handed back the piece of
silk. “This you all have, I know. But its possession proves nothing without
this.” He lifted
the Salvoconducto and read it through again. “Where were you born?” “Villaconejos,”
Andrés said. “And
what do they raise there?” “Melons,”
Andrés said. “As all the world knows.” “Who
do you know there?” “Why?
Are you from there?” “Nay.
But I have been there. I am from Aranjuëz.” “Ask
me about any one.” “Describe
José Rincon.” “Who
keeps the bodega?” “Naturally.”
“With
a shaved head and a big belly and a cast in one eye.” “Then
this is valid,” the man said and handed him back the paper. “But what do you
do on
their side?” “Our
father had installed himself at Villacastín before the movement,” Andrés
said. “Down
there beyond the mountains on the plain. It was there we were surprised by
the movement.
Since the movement I have fought with the band of Pablo. But I am in a great
hurry, man, to take that dispatch.” “How
goes it in the country of the fascists?” the man commanding asked. He was in no
hurry. “Today
we had much tomate,” Andrés said proudly. “Today there was plenty of dust on
the road all day. Today they wiped out the band of Sordo.” “And
who is Sordo?” the other asked deprecatingly. “The
leader of one of the best bands in the mountains.” “All
of you should come in to the Republic and join the army,” the officer said.
“There is too
much of this silly guerilla nonsense going on. All of you should come in and
submit to
our Libertarian discipline. Then when we wished to send out guerillas we
would send them
out as they are needed.” Andrés
was a man endowed with almost supreme patience. He had taken the coming in
through the wire calmly. None of this examination had flustered him. He found
it perfectly
normal that this man should have no understanding of them nor of what they were
doing and that he should talk idiocy was to be expected. That it should all
go slowly
should be expected too; but now he wished to go. “Listen,
Compadre,” he said. “It is very possible that you are right. But I have
orders to deliver
that dispatch to the General commanding the Thirty-Fifth Division, which
makes an
attack at daylight in these hills and it is already late at night and I must
go.” “What
attack? What do you know of an attack?” “Nay.
I know nothing. But I must go now to Navacerrada and go on from there. Wilt thou
send me to thy commander who will give me transport to go on from there? Send
one
with me now to respond to him that there be no delay.” “I
distrust all of this greatly,” he said. “It might have been better to have
shot thee as thou
approached the wire.” “You
have seen my papers, Comrade, and I have explained my mission,” Andrés told him
patiently. “Papers
can be forged,” the officer said. “Any fascist could invent such a mission. I
will go
with thee myself to the Commander.” “Good,”
Andrés said. “That you should come. But that we should go quickly.” “Thou,
Sanchez. Thou commandest in my place,” the officer said. “Thou knowest thy duties
as well as I do. I take this so-called Comrade to the Commander.” They
started down the shallow trench behind the crest of the hill and in the dark Andrés
smelt the foulness the defenders of the hill crest had made all through the bracken
on that slope. He did not like these people who were like dangerous children;
dirty,
foul, undisciplined, kind, loving, silly and ignorant but always dangerous
because they
were armed. He, Andrés, was without politics except that he was for the
Republic. He
had heard these people talk many times and he thought what they said was
often beautiful
and fine to hear but he did not like them. It is not liberty not to bury the
mess one
makes, he thought. No animal has more liberty than the cat; but it buries the
mess it makes.
The cat is the best anarchist. Until they learn that from the cat I cannot
respect them.
Ahead
of him the officer stopped suddenly. “You
have your carabine still,” he said. “Yes,”
Andrés said. “Why not?” “Give
it to me,” the officer said. “You could shoot me in the back with it.” “Why?”
Andrés asked him. “Why would I shoot thee in the back?” “One
never knows,” the officer said. “I trust no one. Give me the carbine.” Andrés
unslung it and handed it to him. “If
it pleases thee to carry it,” he said. “It
is better,” the officer said. “We are safer that way.” They
went on down the hill in the dark. 37 Now Robert Jordan lay with the girl and he
watched time passing on his wrist. It went slowly,
almost imperceptibly, for it was a small watch and he could not see the
second hand.
But as he watched the minute hand he found he could almost check its motion with
his concentration. The girl’s head was under his chin and when he moved his
head to
look at the watch he felt the cropped head against his cheek, and it was as
soft but as alive
and silkily rolling as when a marten’s fur rises under the caress of your
hand when you
spread the trap jaws open and lift the marten clear and, holding it, stroke
the fur smooth.
His throat swelled when his cheek moved against Maria’s hair and there was a hollow
aching from his throat all through him as he held his arms around her; his
head dropped,
his eyes close to the watch where the lance-pointed, luminous splinter moved slowly
up the left face of the dial. He could see its movement clearly and steadily
now and
he held Maria close now to slow it. He did not want to wake her but he could
not leave
her alone now in this last time and he put his lips behind her ear and moved
them up
along her neck, feeling the smooth skin and the soft touch of her hair on
them. He could
see the hand moving on the watch and he held her tighter and ran the tip of
his tongue
along her cheek and onto the lobe of her ear and along the lovely
convolutions to
the sweet, firm rim at the top, and his tongue was trembling. He felt the
trembling run through
all of the hollow aching and he saw the hand of the watch now mounting in sharp
angle toward the top where the hour was. Now while she still slept he turned
her head
and put his lips to hers. They lay there, just touching lightly against the
sleep-firm mouth
and he swung them softly across it, feeling them brush lightly. He turned
himself toward
her and he felt her shiver along the long, light lovely body and then she
sighed, sleeping,
and then she, still sleeping, held him too and then, unsleeping, her lips
were against
his firm and hard and pressing and he said, “But the pain.” And
she said, “Nay, there is no pain.” “Rabbit.”
“Nay, speak not.” “My
rabbit.” “Speak
not. Speak not.” Then
they were together so that as the hand on the watch moved, unseen now, they knew
that nothing could ever happen to the one that did not happen to the othei
that no other
thing could happen more than this; that this was all and always; this was
what had been
and now and whatever was to come. This, that they were not to have, they were
having.
They were having now and before and always and now and now and now. Oh, now,
now, now, the only now, and above all now, and there is no other now but thou
now
and now is thy prophet. Now and forever now. Come now, now, for there is no
now but
now. Yes, now. Now, please now, only now, not anything else only this now,
and where
are you and where am I and where is the other one, and not why, not ever why,
only
this now; and on and always please then always now, always now, for now
always one
now; one only one, there is no other one but one now, one, going now, rising
now, sailing
now, leaving now, wheeling now, soaring now, away now, all the way now, all
of all
the way now; one and one is one, is one, is one, is one, is still one, is
still one, is one descendingly,
is one softly, is one longingly, is one kindly, is one happily, is one in goodness,
is one to cherish, is one now on earth with elbows against the cut and slept- on
branches of the pine tree with the smell of the pine boughs and the night; to
earth conclusively
now, and with the morning of the day to come. Then he said, for the other was
only in his head and he had said nothing, “Oh, Maria, I love thee and I thank
thee for
this.” Maria
said, “Do not speak. It is better if we do not speak.” “I
must tell thee for it is a great thing.” “Nay.”
“Rabbit—”
But
she held him tight and turned her head away and he asked softly, “Is it pain,
rabbit?”
“Nay,”
she said. “It is that I am thankful too to have been another time in la
gloria.” Then
afterwards they lay quiet, side by side, all length of ankle, thigh, hip and
shoulder touching,
Robert Jordan now with the watch where he could see it again and Maria said, “We
have had much good fortune.” “Yes,”
he said, “we are people of much luck.” “There
is not time to sleep?” “No,”
he said, “it starts soon now.” “Then
if we must rise let us go to get something to eat.” “All
right.” “Thou.
Thou art not worried about anything?” “No.”
“Truly?”
“No.
Not now.” “But
thou hast worried before?” “For
a while.” “Is
it aught I can help?” “Nay,”
he said. “You have helped enough.” “That?
That was for me.” “That
was for us both,” he said. “No one is there alone. Come, rabbit, let us
dress.” But
his mind, that was his best companion, was thinking La Gloria. She said La
Gloria. It
has nothing to do with glory nor La Gloire that the French write and speak
about. It is the
thing that is in the Cante Hondo and in the Saetas. It is in Greco and in San
Juan de la
Cruz, of course, and in the others. I am no mystic, but to deny it is as
ignorant as though
you denied the telephone or that the earth revolves around the sun or that
there are
other planets than this. How
little we know of what there is to know. I wish that I were going to live a
long time instead
of going to die today because I have learned much about life in these four
days; more,
I think, than in all the other time. I’d like to be an old man and to really
know. I wonder
if you keep on learning or if there is only a certain amount each man can understand.
I thought I knew about so many things that I know nothing of. I wish there was
more time. “You
taught me a lot, guapa,” he said in English. “What
did you say?” “I
have learned much from thee.” “Qué
va,” she said, “it is thou who art educated.” Educated,
he thought. I have the very smallest beginnings of an education. The very small
beginnings. If I die on this day it is a waste because I know a few things
now. I wonder
if you only learn them now because you are oversensitized because of the shortness
of the time? There is no such thing as a shortness of time, though. You should
have sense enough to know that too. I have been all my life in these hills
since I have
been here. Anselmo is my oldest friend. I know him better than I know
Charles, than
I know Chub, than I know Guy, than I know Mike, and I know them well.
Agustín, with
his vile mouth, is my brother, and I never had a brother. Maria is my true
love and my
wife. I never had a true love. I never had a wife. She is also my sister, and
I never had
a sister, and my daughter, and I never will have a daughter. I hate to leave
a thing that
is so good. He finished tying his rope-soled shoes. “I
find life very interesting,” he said to Maria. She was sitting beside him on
the robe, her
hands clasped around her ankles. Some one moved the blanket aside from the entrance
to the cave and they both saw the light. It was night still and here was no promise
of morning except that as he looked up through the pines he saw how low the stars
had swung. The morning would be coming fast now in this month. “Roberto,”
Maria said. “Yes,
guapa.” “In
this of today we will be together, will we not?” “After
the start, yes.” “Not
at the start?” “No.
Thou wilt be with the horses.” “I
cannot be with thee?” “No.
I have work that only I can do and I would worry about thee.” “But
you will come fast when it is done?” “Very
fast,” he said and grinned in the dark. “Come, guapa, let us go and eat.” “And
thy robe?” “Roll
it up, if it pleases thee.” “It
pleases me,” she said. “I
will help thee.” “Nay.
Let me do it alone.” She
knelt to spread and roll the robe, then changed her mind and stood up and
shook it
so it flapped. Then she knelt down again to straighten it and roll it. Robert
Jordan picked
up the two packs, holding them carefully so that nothing would spill from the
slits in
them, and walked over through the pines to the cave mouth where the smoky
blanket hung.
It was ten minutes to three by his watch when he pushed the blanket aside
with his
elbow and went into the cave. 38 They were in the cave and the men were
standing before the fire Maria was fanning. Pilar
had coffee ready in a pot. She had not gone back to bed at all since she had roused
Robert Jordan and now she was sitting on a stool in the smoky cave sewing the
rip
in one of Jordan’s packs. The other pack was already sewed. The firelight lit
up her face.
“Take
more of the stew,” she said to Fernando. “What does it matter if thy belly
should be
full? There is no doctor to operate if you take a goring.” “Don’t speak that way, woman,” Agustín said.
“Thou hast the tongue of the great whore.”
He
was leaning on the automatic rifle, its legs folded close against the fretted
barrel, his
pockets were full of grenades, a sack of pans hung from one shoulder, and a
full bandolier
of ammunition hung over the other shoulder. He was smoking a cigarette and he
held a bowl of coffee in one hand and blew smoke onto its surface as he
raised it to his
lips. “Thou
art a walking hardware store,” Pilar said to him. “Thou canst not walk a
hundred yards
with all that.” “Qué
va, woman,” Agustín said. “It is all downhill.” “There
is a climb to the post,” Fernando said. “Before the downward slope commences.”
“I
will climb it like a goat,” Agustín said. “And
thy brother?” he asked Eladio. “Thy famous brother has mucked off?” Eladio
was standing against the wall. “Shut
up,” he said. He
was nervous and he knew they all knew it. He was always nervous and irritable
before
action. He moved from the wall to the table and began filling his pockets
with grenades
from one of the rawhide-covered panniers that leaned, open, against the table
leg.
Robert
Jordan squatted by the pannier beside him. He reached into the pannier and picked
out four grenades. Three were the oval Mill bomb type, serrated, heavy iron
with a
spring level held down in position by a cotter pin with pulling rig attached.
“Where
did these come from?” he asked Eladio. “Those?
Those are from the Republic. The old man brought them.” “How
are they?” “Valen
más que pesan,” Eladio said. “They are worth a fortune apiece.” “I
brought those,” Anselmo said. “Sixty in one pack. Ninety pounds, Inglés.” “Have
you used those?” Robert Jordan asked Pilar. “Qué
va have we used them?” the woman said. “It was with those Pablo slew the post
at
Otero.” When
she mentioned Pablo, Agustín started cursing. Robert Jordan saw the look on Pilar’s
face in the firelight. “Leave
it,” she said to Agustín sharply. “It does no good to talk.” “Have
they always exploded?” Robert Jordan held the graypainted grenade in his hand,
trying the bend of the cotter pin with his thumbnail. “Always,”
Eladio said. “There was not a dud in any of that lot we used.” “And
how quickly?” “In
the distance one can throw it. Quickly. Quickly enough.” “And
these?” He
held up a soup-tin-shaped bomb, with a tape wrapping around a wire loop. “They
are a garbage,” Eladio told him. “They blow. Yes. But it is all flash and no fragments.”
“But
do they always blow?” “Qué
va, always,” Pilar said. “There is no always either with our munitions or
theirs.” “But
you said the other always blew.” “Not
me,” Pilar told him. “You asked another, not me. I have seen no always in any
of that
stuff.” “They
all blew,” Eladio insisted. “Speak the truth, woman.” “How
do you know they all blew?” Pilar asked him. “It was Pablo who threw them.
You killed
no one at Otero.” “That
son of the great whore,” Agustín began. “Leave
it alone,” Pilar said sharply. Then she went on. “They are all much the same,
Inglés.
But the corrugated ones are more simple.” I’d
better use one of each on each set, Robert Jordan thought. But the serrated
type will
lash easier and more securely. “Are
you going to be throwing bombs, Inglés?” Agustín asked. “Why
not?” Robert Jordan said. But
crouched there, sorting out the grenades, what he was thinking was: it is impossible.
How I could have deceived myself about it I do not know. We were as sunk when
they attacked Sordo as Sordo was sunk when the snow stopped. It is that you can’t
accept it. You have to go on and make a plan that you know is impossible to
carry out.
You made it and now you know it is no good. It’s no good, now, in the
morning. You can
take either of the posts absolutely O.K. with what you’ve got here. But you
can’t take
them both. You can’t be sure of it, I mean. Don’t deceive yourself. Not when
the daylight
comes. Trying
to take them both will never work. Pablo knew that all the time. I suppose he
always
intended to muck off but he knew we were cooked when Sordo was attacked. You
can’t base an operation on the presumption that miracles are going to happen.
You will
kill them all off and not even get your bridge blown if you have nothing
better than what
you have now. You will kill off Pilar, Anselmo, Agustín, Primitivo, this
jumpy Eladio, the
worthless gypsy and old Fernando, and you won’t get your bridge blown. Do you
suppose
there will be a miracle and Golz will get the message from Andrés and stop
it? If
there isn’t, you are going to kill them all off with those orders. Maria too.
You’ll kill her too
with those orders. Can’t you even get her out of it? God damn Pablo to hell,
he thought.
No.
Don’t get angry. Getting angry is as bad as getting scared. But instead of
sleeping with
your girl you should have ridden all night through these hills with the woman
to try to
dig up enough people to make it work. Yes, he thought. And if anything
happened to me
so I was not here to blow it. Yes. That. That’s why you weren’t out. And you
couldn’t send
anybody out because you couldn’t run a chance of losing them and being short one
more. You had to keep what you had and make a plan to do it with them. But
your plan stinks. It stinks, I tell you. It was a night plan and it’s morning
now. Night plans
aren’t any good in the morning. The way you think at night is no good in the morning.
So now you know it is no good. What
if John Mosby did get away with things as impossible as this? Sure he did.
Much more
difficult. And remember, do not undervaluate the element of surprise.
Remember that.
Remember it isn’t goofy if you can make it stick. But that is not the way you
are supposed
to make it. You should make it not only possible but sure. But look at how it
all has
gone. Well, it was wrong in the first place and such things accentuate
disaster as a snowball
rolls up wet snow. He
looked up from where he was squatted by the table and saw Maria and she
smiled at
him. He grinned back with the front of his face and selected four more
grenades and put
them in his pockets. I could unscrew the detonators and just use them, he
thought. But
I don’t think the fragmentation will have any bad effect. It will come
instantaneously with
the explosion of the charge and it won’t disperse it. At least, I don’t think
it will. I’m sure
it won’t. Have a little confidence, he told himself. And you, last night,
thinking about how
you and your grandfather were so terrific and your father was a coward. Show yourself
a little confidence now. He
grinned at Maria again but the grin was still no deeper than the skin that
felt tight over
his cheekbones and his mouth. She
thinks you’re wonderful, he thought. I think you stink. And the gloria and
all that nonsense
that you had. You had wonderful ideas, didn’t you? You had this world all taped,
didn’t you? The hell with all of that. Take
it easy, he told himself. Don’t get into a rage. That’s just a way out too.
There are always
ways out. You’ve got to bite on the nail now. There isn’t any need to deny everything
there’s been just because you are going to lose it. Don’t be like some damned
snake with a broken back biting at itself; and your back isn’t broken either,
you hound.
Wait until you’re hurt before you start to cry. Wait until the fight before
you get angry.
There’s lots of time for it in a fight. It will be some use to you in a
fight. Pilar came over to him with the bag. “It
is strong now,” she said. “Those grenades are very good, Inglés. You can have
confidence
in them.” “How
do you feel, woman?” She
looked at him and shook her head and smiled. He wondered how far into her
face the
smile went. It looked deep enough. “Good,”
she said. “Dentro de la gravedad.” Then
she said, squatting by him, “How does it seem to thee now that it is really starting?”
“That
we are few,” Robert Jordan said to her quickly. “To
me, too,” she said. “Very few.” Then
she said still to him alone, “The Maria can hold the horses by herself. I am
not needed
for that. We will hobble them. They are cavalry horses and the firing will
not panic
them. I will go to the lower post and do that which was the duty of Pablo. In
this way
we are one more.” “Good,”
he said. “I thought you might wish to.” “Nay,
Inglés,” Pilar said looking at him closely. “Do not be worried. All will be
well. Remember
they expect no such thing to come to them.” “Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. “One
other thing, Inglés,” Pilar said as softly as her harsh whisper could be
soft. “In that
thing of the hand—” “What
thing of the hand?” he said angrily. “Nay,
listen. Do not be angry, little boy. In regard to that thing of the hand.
That is all gypsy
nonsense that I make to give myself an importance. There is no such thing.” “Leave
it alone,” he said coldly. “Nay,”
she said harshly and lovingly. “It is just a lying nonsense that I make. I
would not
have thee worry in the day of battle.” “I
am not worried,” Robert Jordan said. “Yes,
Inglés,” she said. “Thou art very worried, for good cause. But all will be
well, Inglés.
It is for this that we are born.” “I
don’t need a political commissar,” Robert Jordan told her. She
smiled at him again, smiling fairly and truly with the harsh lips and the
wide mouth,
and said, “I care for thee very much, Inglés.” “I
don’t want that now,” he said. “Ni tu, ni Dios.” “Yes,”
Pilar said in that husky whisper. “I know. I only wished to tell thee. And do
not worry.
We will do all very well.” “Why
not?” Robert Jordan said and the very thinnest edge of the skin in front of
his face
smiled. “Of course we will. All will be well.” “When
do we go?” Pilar asked. Robert
Jordan looked at his watch. “Any
time,” he said. He
handed one of the packs to Anselmo. “How
are you doing, old one?” he asked. The
old man was finishing whittling the last of a pile of wedges he had copied
from a model
Robert Jordan had given him. These were extra wedges in case they should be needed.
“Well,”
the old man said and nodded. “So far, very well.” He held his hand out.
“Look,” he
said and smiled. His hands were perfectly steady. “Bueno,
y qué?” Robert Jordan said to him. “I can always keep the whole hand steady. Point
with one finger.” Anselmo
pointed. The finger was trembling. He looked at Robert Jordan and shook his head.
“Mine
too,” Robert Jordan showed him. “Always. That is normal.” “Not
for me,” Fernando said. He put his right forefinger out to show them. Then
the left forefinger.
“Canst thou spit?” Agustín asked him and
winked at Robert Jordan. Fernando
hawked and spat proudly onto the floor of the cave, then rubbed it in the
dirt with
his foot. “You
filthy mule,” Pilar said to him. “Spit in the fire if thou must vaunt thy
courage.” “I
would not have spat on the floor, Pilar, if we were not leaving this place,”
Fernando said
primly. “Be
careful where you spit today,” Pilar told him. “It may be some place you will
not be leaving.”
“That
one speaks like a black cat,” Agustín said. He had the nervous necessity to
joke that
is another form of what they all felt. “I
joke,” said Pilar. “Me
too,” said Agustín. “But me cago en la leche, but I will be content when it
starts.” “Where
is the gypsy?” Robert Jordan asked Eladio. “With
the horses,” Eladio said. “You can see him from the cave mouth.” “How
is he?” Eladio
grinned. “With much fear,” he said. It reassured him to speak of the fear of another.
“Listen,
Inglés—” Pilar began. Robert Jordan looked toward her and as he did he saw her
mouth open and the unbelieving look come on her face and he swung toward the cave
mouth reaching for his pistol. There, holding the blanket aside with one
hand, the short
automatic rifle muzzle with its flash-cone jutting above his shoulder, was
Pablo standing
short, wide, bristly-faced, his small red-rimmed eyes looking toward no one
in particular.
“Thou—”
Pilar said to him unbelieving. “Thou.” “Me,”
said Pablo evenly. He came into the cave. “Hola,
Inglés,” he said. “I have five from the bands of Elias and Alejandro above
with their
horses.” “And
the exploder and the detonators?” Robert Jordan said. “And the other
material?” “I
threw them down the gorge into the river,” Pablo said still looking at no
one. “But I have
thought of a way to detonate using a grenade.” “So
have I,” Robert Jordan said. “Have
you a drink of anything?” Pablo asked wearily. Robert
Jordan handed him the flask and he swallowed fast, then wiped his mouth on the
back of his hand. “What
passes with you?” Pilar asked. “Nada,”
Pablo said, wiping his mouth again. “Nothing. I have come back.” “But
what?” “Nothing.
I had a moment of weakness. I went away but I am come back.” He
turned to Robert Jordan. “En el fondo no soy cobarde,” he said. “At bottom I
am not
a coward.” But
you are very many other things, Robert Jordan thought. Damned if you’re not.
But I’m
glad to see you, you son of a bitch. “Five
was all I could get from Elias and Alejandro,” Pablo said. “I have ridden
since I left
here. Nine of you could never have done it. Never. I knew that last night
when the Inglés
explained it. Never. There are seven men and a corporal at the lower post. Suppose
there is an alarm or that they fight?” He
looked at Robert Jordan now. “When I left I thought you would know that it
was impossible
and would give it up. Then after I had thrown away thy material I saw it in another
manner.” “I
am glad to see thee,” Robert Jordan said. He walked over to him. “We are all
right with
the grenades. That will work. The other does not matter now.” “Nay,”
Pablo said. “I do nothing for thee. Thou art a thing of bad omen. All of this
comes
from thee. Sordo also. But after I had thrown away thy material I found
myself too
lonely.” “Thy
mother—” Pilar said. “So I rode for the others to make it
possible for it to be successful. I have brought the best
that I could get. I have left them at the top so I could speak to you, first.
They think I am
the leader.” “Thou
art,” Pilar said. “If thee wishes.” Pablo looked at her and said nothing.
Then he said
simply and quietly, “I have thought much since the thing of Sordo. I believe
if we must
finish we must finish together. But thou, Inglés. I hate thee for bringing
this to us.” “But
Pablo—” Fernando, his pockets full of grenades, a bandolier of cartridges
over his
shoulder, he still wiping in his pan of stew with a piece of bread, began.
“Do you not believe
the operation can be successful? Night before last you said you were
convinced it
would be.” “Give
him some more stew,” Pilar said viciously to Maria. Then to Pablo, her eyes softening,
“So you have come back, eh?” “Yes,
woman,” Pablo said. “Well,
thou art welcome,” Pilar said to him. “I did not think thou couldst be the
ruin thou appeared
to be.” “Having
done such a thing there is a loneliness that cannot be borne,” Pablo said to her
quietly. “That
cannot be borne,” she mocked him. “That cannot be borne by thee for fifteen minutes.”
“Do
not mock me, woman. I have come back.” “And
thou art welcome,” she said. “Didst not hear me the first time? Drink thy
coffee and
let us go. So much theatre tires me.” “Is
that coffee?” Pablo asked. “Certainly,”
Fernando said. “Give
me some, Maria,” Pablo said. “How art thou?” He did not look at her. “Well,”
Maria told him and brought him a bowl of coffee. “Do you want stew?” Pablo shook
his head. “No
me gusta estar solo,” Pablo went on explaining to Pilar as though the others
were not
there. “I do not like to be alone. Sabes? Yesterday all day alone working for
the good
of all I was not lonely. But last night. Hombre!Qué mal lo pasé!” “Thy
predecessor the famous Judas Iscariot hanged himself,” Pilar said. “Don’t
talk to me that way, woman,” Pablo said. “Have you not seen? I am back. Don’t
talk
of Judas nor nothing of that. I am back.” “How
are these people thee brought?” Pilar asked him. “Hast brought anything worth
bringing?”
“Son
buenos,” Pablo said. He took a chance and looked at Pilar squarely, then
looked away.
“Buenos
y bobos. Good ones and stupids. Ready to die and all. A tu gusto. According to
thy taste. The way you like them.” Pablo
looked Pilar in the eyes again and this time he did not look away. He kept on
looking
at her squarely with his small, redrimmed pig eyes. “Thou,”
she said and her husky voice was fond again. “Thou. I suppose if a man has something
once, always something of it remains.” “Listo,”
Pablo said, looking at her squarely and flatly now. “I am ready for what the
day brings.”
“I
believe thou art back,” Pilar said to him. “I believe it. But, hombre, thou
wert a long way
gone.” “Lend
me another swallow from thy bottle,” Pablo said to Robert Jordan. “And then
let us
be going.” In
the dark they came up the hill through the timber to the narrow pass at the
top. They
were all loaded heavily and they climbed slowly. The horses had loads too,
packed over
the saddles. “We
can cut them loose if it is necessary,” Pilar had said. “But with that, if we
can keep it,
we can make another camp.” “And
the rest of the ammunition?” Robert Jordan had asked as they lashed the
packs. “In those saddlebags.” Robert
Jordan felt the weight of his heavy pack, the dragging on his neck from the
pull of
his jacket with its pockets full of grenades, the weight of his pistol
against his thigh, and
the bulging of his trouser pockets where the clips for the submachine gun
were. In his
mouth was the taste of the coffee, in his right hand he carried the
submachine gun and
with his left hand he reached and pulled up the collar of his jacket to ease
the pull of the
pack straps. “Inglés,”
Pablo said to him, walking close beside him in the dark. “What,
man?” “These
I have brought think this is to be successful because I have brought them,” Pablo
said. “Do not say anything to disillusion them.” “Good,”
Robert Jordan said. “But let us make it successful.” “They
have five horses, sabes?” Pablo said cautiously. “Good,”
said Robert Jordan. “We will keep all the horses together.” “Good,”
said Pablo, and nothing more. I
didn’t think you had experienced any complete conversion on the road to
Tarsus, old Pablo,
Robert Jordan thought. No. Your coming back was miracle enough. I don’t think
there
will ever be any problem about canonizing you. “With
those five I will deal with the lower post as well as Sordo would have,”
Pablo said.
“I will cut the wire and fall back upon the bridge as we convened.” We
went over this all ten minutes ago, Robert Jordan thought. I wonder why this now—
“There
is a possibility of making it to Gredos,” Pablo said. “Truly, I have thought
much of
it.” I
believe you’ve had another flash in the last few minutes, Robert Jordan said
to himself.
You have had another revelation. But you’re not going to convince me that I
am invited.
No, Pablo. Do not ask me to believe too much. Ever
since Pablo had come into the cave and said he had five men Robert Jordan
felt increasingly
better. Seeing Pablo again had broken the pattern of tragedy into which the whole
operation had seemed grooved ever since the snow, and since Pablo had been back
he felt not that his luck had turned, since he did not believe in luck, but
that the whole
thing had turned for the better and that now it was possible. Instead of the
surety of
failure he felt confidence rising in him as a tire begins to fill with air
from a slow pump. There
was little difference at first, although there was a definite beginning, as
when the pump
starts and the rubber of the tube crawls a little, but it came now as
steadily as a tide
rising or the sap rising in a tree until he began to feel the first edge of
that negation of
apprehension that often turned into actual happiness before action. This
was the greatest gift that he had, the talent that fitted him for war; that
ability not to
ignore but to despise whatever bad ending there could be. This quality was
destroyed by
too much responsibility for others or the necessity of undertaking something
ill planned
or badly conceived. For in such things the bad ending, failure, could not be ignored.
It was not simply a possibility of harm to one’s self, which could be
ignored. He knew
he himself was nothing, and he knew death was nothing. He knew that truly, as
truly
as he knew anything. In the last few days he had learned that he himself,
with another
person, could be everything. But inside himself he knew that this was the exception.
That we have had, he thought. In that I have been most fortunate. That was given
to me, perhaps, because I never asked for it. That cannot be taken away nor
lost. But
that is over and done with now on this morning and what there is to do now is
our work.
And
you, he said to himself, I am glad to see you getting a little something back
that was
badly missing for a time. But you were pretty bad back there. I was ashamed enough
of you, there for a while. Only I was you. There wasn’t any me to judge you.
We were
all in bad shape. You and me and both of us. Come on now. Quit thinking like
a schizophrenic.
One at a time, now. You’re all right again now. But listen, you must not think
of the girl all day ever. You can do nothing now to protect her except to
keep her out
of it, and that you are doing. There are evidently going to be plenty of
horses if you can
believe the signs. The best thing you can do for her is to do the job well
and fast and
get out, and thinking of her will only handicap you in this. So do not think
of her ever.
Having
thought this out he waited until Maria came up walking with Pilar and Rafael and
the horses. “Hi,
guapa,” he said to her in the dark, “how are you?” “I
am well, Roberto,” she said. “Don’t
worry about anything,” he said to her and shifting the gun to his left hand
he put a
hand on her shoulder. “I
do not,” she said. “It
is all very well organized,” he told her. “Rafael will be with thee with the
horses.” “I
would rather be with thee.” “Nay.
The horses is where thou art most useful.” “Good,”
she said. “There I will be.” Just
then one of the horses whinnied and from the open place below the opening through
the rocks a horse answered, the neigh rising into a shrill sharply broken
quaver. Robert
Jordan saw the bulk of the new horses ahead in the dark. He pressed forward and
came up to them with Pablo. The men were standing by their mounts. “Salud,”
Robert Jordan said. “Salud,”
they answered in the dark. He could not see their faces. “This
is the Inglés who comes with us,” Pablo said. “The dynamiter.” No
one said anything to that. Perhaps they nodded in the dark. “Let
us get going, Pablo,” one man said. “Soon we will have the daylight on us.” “Did
you bring any more grenades?” another asked. “Plenty,”
said Pablo. “Supply yourselves when we leave the animals.” “Then
let us go,” another said. “We’ve been waiting here half the night.” “Hola,
Pilar,” another said as the woman came up. “Que
me maten, if it is not Pepe,” Pilar said huskily. “How are you, shepherd?” “Good,”
said the man. “Dentro de la gravedad.” “What
are you riding?” Pilar asked him. “The
gray of Pablo,” the man said. “It is much horse.” “Come
on,” another man said. “Let us go. There is no good in gossiping here.” “How
art thou, Elicio?” Pilar said to him as he mounted. “How
would I be?” he said rudely. “Come on, woman, we have work to do.” Pablo
mounted the big bay horse. “Keep
thy mouths shut and follow me,” he said. “I will lead you to the place where
we will
leave the horses.” 40 During the time that Robert Jordan had slept
through, the time he had spent planning the
destruction of the bridge and the time that he had been with Maria, Andrés
had made
slow progress. Until he had reached the Republican lines he had travelled
across country
and through the fascist lines as fast as a countryman in good physical
condition who
knew the country well could travel in the dark. But once inside the
Republican lines it
went very slowly. In
theory he should only have had to show the safe-conduct given him by Robert Jordan
stamped with the seal of the S. I. M. and the dispatch which bore the same
seal and
be passed along toward his destination with the greatest speed. But first he
had encountered
the company commander in the front line who had regarded the whole mission
with owlishly grave suspicion. He
had followed this company commander to battalion headquarters where the battalion
commander, who had been a barber before the movement, was filled with enthusiasm
on hearing the account of his mission. This commander, who was named Gomez,
cursed the company commander for his stupidity, patted Andrés on the back, gave
him a drink of bad brandy and told him that he himself, the ex-barber, had
always wanted
to be a guerrillero. He had then roused his adjutant, turned over the
battalion to him,
and sent his orderly to wake up and bring his motorcyclist. Instead of
sending Andrés
back to brigade headquarters with the motorcyclist, Gomez had decided to take
him
there himself in order to expedite things and, with Andrés holding tight onto
the seat ahead
of him, they roared, bumping down the shell-pocked mountain road between the double
row of big trees, the headlight of the motorcycle showing their whitewashed bases
and the places on the trunks where the whitewash and the bark had been chipped
and torn by shell fragments and bullets during the fighting along this road
in the first
summer of the movement. They turned into the little smashed-roofed mountain- resort
town where brigade headquarters was and Gomez had braked the motorcycle like a
dirt-track racer and leaned it against the wall of the house where a sleepy
sentry came to
attention as Gomez pushed by him into the big room where the walls were
covered with
maps and a very sleepy officer with a green eyeshade sat at a desk with a
reading lamp,
two telephones and a copy of Mundo Obrero. This
officer looked up at Gomez and said, “What doest thou here? Have you never heard
of the telephone?” “I
must see the Lieutenant-Colonel,” Gomez said. “He
is asleep,” the officer said. “I could see the lights of that bicycle of
thine for a mile coming
down the road. Dost wish to bring on a shelling?” “Call
the Lieutenant-Colonel,” Gomez said. “This is a matter of the utmost
gravity.” “He
is asleep, I tell thee,” the officer said. “What sort of a bandit is that
with thee?” he nodded
toward Andrés. “He
is a guerrillero from the other side of the lines with a dispatch of the
utmost importance
for the General Golz who commands the attack that is to be made at dawn beyond
Navacerrada,” Gomez said excitedly and earnestly. “Rouse the Teniente- Coronel
for the love of God.” The
officer looked at him with his droopy eyes shaded by the green celluloid. “All
of you are crazy,” he said. “I know of no General Golz nor of no attack. Take
this sportsman
and get back to your battalion.” “Rouse
the Teniente-Coronel, I say,” Gomez said and Andrés saw his mouth tightening.
“Go
obscenity yourself,” the officer said to him lazily and turned away. Gomez
took his heavy 9 mm. Star pistol out of its holster and shoved it against the
officer’s
shoulder. “Rouse
him, you fascist bastard,” he said. “Rouse him or I’ll kill you.” “Calm
yourself,” the officer said. “All you barbers are emotional.” Andrés
saw Gomez’s face draw with hate in the light of the reading lamp. But all he said
was, “Rouse him.” “Orderly,”
the officer called in a contemptuous voice. A
soldier came to the door and saluted and went out. “His
fiancée is with him,” the officer said and went back to reading the paper.
“It is certain
he will be delighted to see you.” “It
is those like thee who obstruct all effort to win this war,” Gomez said to
the staff officer.
The
officer paid no attention to him. Then, as he read on, he remarked, as though
to himself,
“What a curious periodical this is!” “Why
don’t you read El Debate then? That is your paper,” Gomez said to him naming the
leading Catholic-Conservative organ published in Madrid before the movement. “Don’t
forget I am thy superior officer and that a report by me on thee carries
weight,” the
officer said without looking up. “I never read El Debate. Do not make false accusations.”
“No.
You read A. B. C.,” Gomez said. “The army is still rotten with such as thee.
With professionals
such as thee. But it will not always be. We are caught between the ignorant
and the cynical. But we will educate the one and eliminate the other.” “‘Purge’
is the word you want,” the officer said, still not looking up. “Here it
reports the purging
of more of thy famous Russians. They are purging more than the epsom salts in
this
epoch.” “By
any name,” Gomez said passionately. “By any name so that such as thee are liquidated.”
“Liquidated,”
the officer said insolently as though speaking to himself. “Another new word
that has little of Castilian in it.” “Shot,
then,” Gomez said. “That is Castilian. Canst understand it?” “Yes,
man, but do not talk so loudly. There are others beside the Teniente-Coronel asleep
in this Brigade Staff and thy emotion bores me. It was for that reason that I
always
shaved myself. I never liked the conversation.” Gomez
looked at Andrés and shook his head. His eyes were shining with the moistness
that rage and hatred can bring. But he shook his head and said nothing as he stored
it all away for some time in the future. He had stored much in the year and a
half in
which he had risen to the command of a battalion in the Sierra and now, as
the Lieutenant-Colonel
came into the room in his pajamas he drew himself stiff and saluted. The
Lieutenant-Colonel Miranda, who was a short, gray-faced man, who had been in the
army all his life, who had lost the love of his wife in Madrid while he was
losing his digestion
in Morocco, and become a Republican when he found he could not divorce his wife
(there was never any question of recovering his digestion), had entered the
civil war as
a Lieutenant-Colonel. He had only one ambition, to finish the war with the
same rank. He
had defended the Sierra well and he wanted to be left alone there to defend
it whenever
it was attacked. He felt much healthier in the war, probably due to the
forced curtailment
of the number of meat courses, he had an enormous stock of sodium- bicarbonate,
he had his whiskey in the evening, his twenty-three-year-old mistress was having
a baby, as were nearly all the other girls who had started out as milicianas
in the July
of the year before, and now he came into the room, nodded in answer to
Gomez’s salute
and put out his hand. “What
brings thee, Gomez?” he asked and then, to the officer at the desk who was
his chief
of operation, “Give me a cigarette, please, Pepe.” Gomez
showed him Andrés’s papers and the dispatch. The Lieutenant-Colonel looked at
the Salvoconducto quickly, looked at Andrés, nodded and smiled, and then
looked at the
dispatch hungrily. He felt of the seal, tested it with his forefinger, then
handed both the
safe-conduct and dispatch back to Andrés. “Is
the life very hard there in the hills?” he asked. “No,
my Lieutenant-Colonel,” Andrés said. “Did
they tell thee where would be the closest point to find General Golz’s headquarters?”
“Navacerrada,
my Lieutenant-Colonel,” Andrés said. “The Inglés said it would be somewhere
close to Navacerrada behind the lines to the right of there.” “What
Inglés?” the Lieutenant-Colonel asked quietly. “The
Inglés who is with us as a dynamiter.” The
Lieutenant-Colonel nodded. It was just another sudden unexplained rarity of
this war.
“The Inglés who is with us as a dynamiter.” “You
had better take him, Gomez, on the motor,” the Lieutenant-Colonel said.
“Write them
a very strong Salvoconducto to the Estado Mayor of General Golz for me to
sign,” he
said to the officer in the green celluloid eyeshade. “Write it on the
machine, Pepe. Here
are the details,” he motioned for Andrés to hand over his safe-conduct, “and
put on two
seals.” He turned to Gomez. “You will need something strong tonight. It is
rightly so. People
should be careful when an offensive is projected. I will give you something
as strong
as I can make it.” Then to Andrés, very kindly, he said, “Dost wish anything?
To eat
or to drink?” “No,
my Lieutenant-Colonel,” Andrés said. “I am not hungry. They gave me cognac at
the
last place of command and more would make me seasick.” “Did you see any movement or activity
opposite my front as you came through?” the Lieutenant-Colonel
asked Andrés politely. “It
was as usual, my Lieutenant-Colonel. Quiet. Quiet.” “Did
I not meet thee in Cercedilla about three months back?” the Lieutenant-Colonel
asked.
“Yes,
my Lieutenant-Colonel.” “I
thought so,” the Lieutenant-Colonel patted him on the shoulder. “You were
with the old
man Anselmo. How is he?” “He
is well, my Lieutenant-Colonel,” Andrés told him. “Good.
It makes me happy,” the Lieutenant-Colonel said. The officer showed him what he
had typed and he read it over and signed it. “You must go now quickly,” he
said to Gomez
and Andrés. “Be careful with the motor,” he said to Gomez. “Use your lights. Nothing
will happen from a single motor and you must be careful. My compliments to Comrade
General Golz. We met after Peguerinos.” He shook hands with them both. “Button
the papers inside thy shirt,” he said. “There is much wind on a motor.” After
they went out he went to a cabinet, took out a glass and a bottle, and poured
himself
some whiskey and poured plain water into it from an earthenware crock that stood
on the floor against the wall. Then holding the glass and sipping the whiskey
very slowly
he stood in front of the big map on the wall and studied the offensive
possibilities in
the country above Navacerrada. “I
am glad it is Golz and not me,” he said finally to the officer who sat at the
table. The officer
did not answer and looking away from the map and at the officer the
Lieutenant- Colonel
saw he was asleep with his head on his arms. The Lieutenant-Colonel went over
to the desk and pushed the two phones close together so that one touched the officer’s
head on either side. Then he walked to the cupboard, poured himself another whiskey,
put water in it, and went back to the map again. Andrés,
holding tight onto the seat where Gomez was forking the motor, bent his head against
the wind as the motorcycle moved, noisily exploding, into the light-split
darkness of
the country road that opened ahead sharp with the high black of the poplars
beside it, dimmed
and yellow-soft now as the road dipped into the fog along a stream bed, sharpening
hard again as the road rose and, ahead of them at the crossroads, the headlight
showed the gray bulk of the empty trucks coming down from the mountains. 41 Pablo stopped and dismounted in the dark.
Robert Jordan heard the creaking and the heavy
breathing as they all dismounted and the clinking of a bridle as a horse
tossed his head.
He smelled the horses and the unwashed and sour slept-in-clothing smell of
the new
men and the wood-smoky sleep-stale smell of the others who had been in the
cave. Pablo
was standing close to him and he smelled the brassy, dead-wine smell that
came from
him like the taste of a copper coin in your mouth. He lit a cigarette,
cupping his hand
to hide the light, pulled deep on it, and heard Pablo say very softly, “Get
the grenade
sack, Pilar, while we hobble these.” “Agustín,”
Robert Jordan said in a whisper, “you and Anselmo come now with me to the
bridge. Have you the sack of pans for the máquina?” “Yes,”
Agustín said. “Why not?” Robert
Jordan went over to where Pilar was unpacking one of the horses with the help
of
Primitivo. “Listen,
woman,” he said softly. “What
now?” she whispered huskily, swinging a cinch hook clear from under the horse’s
belly. “Thou
understandest that there is to be no attack on the post until thou hearest
the falling
of the bombs?” “How
many times dost thou have to tell me?” Pilar said. “You are getting like an
old woman,
Inglés.” “Only to check,” Robert Jordan said. “And
after the destruction of the post you fall back
onto the bridge and cover the road from above and my left flank.” “The
first time thou outlined it I understood it as well as I will ever understand
it,” Pilar whispered
to him. “Get thee about thy business.” “That
no one should make a move nor fire a shot nor throw a bomb until the noise of
the
bombardment comes,” Robert Jordan said softly. “Do
not molest me more,” Pilar whispered angrily. “I have understood this since
we were
at Sordo’s.” Robert
Jordan went to where Pablo was tying the horses. “I have only hobbled those which
are liable to panic,” Pablo said. “These are tied so a pull of the rope will
release them,
see?” “Good.”
“I
will tell the girl and the gypsy how to handle them,” Pablo said. His new men
were standing
in a group by themselves leaning on their carbines. “Dost
understand all?” Robert Jordan asked. “Why
not?” Pablo said. “Destroy the post. Cut the wire. Fall back on the bridge.
Cover the
bridge until thou blowest.” “And
nothing to start until the commencement of the bombardment.” “Thus
it is.” “Well
then, much luck.” Pablo
grunted. Then he said, “Thou wilt cover us well with the máquina and with thy
small
máquina when we come back, eh, Inglés?” “Dela
primera,” Robert Jordan said. “Off the top of the basket.” “Then,”
Pablo said. “Nothing more. But in that moment thou must be very careful, Inglés.
It will not be simple to do that unless thou art very careful.” “I
will handle the máquina myself,” Robert Jordan said to him. “Hast
thou much experience? For I am of no mind to be shot by Agustín with his
belly full
of good intentions.” “I
have much experience. Truly. And if Agustín uses either máquina I will see
that he keeps
it way above thee. Above, above and above.” “Then
nothing more,” Pablo said. Then he said softly and confidentially, “There is
still a
lack of horses.” The
son of a bitch, Robert Jordan thought. Or does he think I did not understand
him the
first time. “I
go on foot,” he said. “The horses are thy affair.” “Nay,
there will be a horse for thee, Inglés,” Pablo said softly. “There will be
horses for all
of us.” “That
is thy problem,” Robert Jordan said. “Thou dost not have to count me. Hast enough
rounds for thy new máquina?” “Yes,”
Pablo said. “All that the cavalryman carried. I have fired only four to try
it. I tried it
yesterday in the high hills.” “We
go now,” Robert Jordan said. “We must be there early and well hidden.” “We
all go now,” Pablo said. “Suerte, Inglés.” I
wonder what the bastard is planning now, Robert Jordan said. But I am pretty
sure I know.
Well, that is his, not mine. Thank God I do not know these new men. He
put his hand out and said, “Suerte, Pablo,” and their two hands gripped in
the dark. Robert
Jordan, when he put his hand out, expected that it would be like grasping something
reptilian or touching a leper. He did not know what Pablo’s hand would feel like.
But in the dark Pablo’s hand gripped his hard and pressed it frankly and he returned
the grip. Pablo had a good hand in the dark and feeling it gave Robert Jordan
the
strangest feeling he had felt that morning. We must be allies now, he
thought. There was
always much handshaking with allies. Not to mention decorations and kissing
on both
cheeks, he thought. I’m glad we do not have to do that. I suppose all allies
are like this.
They always hate each other au fond. But this Pablo is a strange man. “Suerte,
Pablo,” he said and gripped the strange, firm, purposeful hand hard. “I will cover
thee well. Do not worry.” “I
am sorry for having taken thy material,” Pablo said. “It was an
equivocation.” “But
thou has brought what we needed.” “I
do not hold this of the bridge against thee, Inglés,” Pablo said. “I see a
successful termination
for it.” “What
are you two doing? Becoming maricones?” Pilar said suddenly beside them in the
dark. “That is all thou hast lacked,” she said to Pablo. “Get along, Inglés,
and cut thy good-bys
short before this one steals the rest of thy explosive.” “Thou
dost not understand me, woman,” Pablo said. “The Inglés and I understand one another.”
“Nobody
understands thee. Neither God nor thy mother,” Pilar said. “Nor I either. Get
along,
Inglés. Make thy good-bys with thy cropped head and go. Me cago en tu padre, but
I begin to think thou art afraid to see the bull come out.” “Thy
mother,” Robert Jordan said. “Thou
never hadst one,” Pilar whispered cheerfully. “Now go, because I have a great
desire
to start this and get it over with. Go with thy people,” she said to Pablo.
“Who knows
how long their stern resolution is good for? Thou hast a couple that I would
not trade
thee for. Take them and go.” Robert
Jordan slung his pack on his back and walked over to the horses to find
Maria. “Good-by,
guapa,” he said. “I will see thee soon.” He
had an unreal feeling about all of this now as though he had said it all
before or as though
it were a train that were going, especially as though it were a train and he
was standing
on the platform of a railway station. “Good-by,
Roberto,” she said. “Take much care.” “Of
course,” he said. He bent his head to kiss her and his pack rolled forward
against the
back of his head so that his forehead bumped hers hard. As this happened he
knew this
had happened before too. “Don’t
cry,” he said, awkward not only from the load. “I
do not,” she said. “But come back quickly.” “Do
not worry when you hear the firing. There is bound to be much firing.” “Nay.
Only come back quickly.” “Good-by,
guapa,” he said awkwardly. “Salud,
Roberto.” Robert
Jordan had not felt this young since he had taken the train at Red Lodge to
go down
to Billings to get the train there to go away to school for the first time.
He had been afraid
to go and he did not want any one to know it and, at the station, just before
the conductor
picked up the box he would step up on to reach the steps of the day coach, his
father had kissed him good-by and said, “May the Lord watch between thee and
me while
we are absent the one from the other.” His father had been a very religious
man and
he had said it simply and sincerely. But his moustache had been moist and his
eyes were
damp with emotion and Robert Jordan had been so embarrassed by all of it, the
damp
religious sound of the prayer, and by his father kissing him good-by, that he
had felt
suddenly so much older than his father and sorry for him that he could hardly
bear it. After
the train started he had stood on the rear platform and watched the station
and the
water tower grow smaller and smaller and the rails crossed by the ties
narrowed toward
a point where the station and the water tower stood now minute and tiny in
the steady
clicking that was taking him away. The
brakeman said, “Dad seemed to take your going sort of hard, Bob.” “Yes,”
he had said watching the sagebrush that ran from the edge of the road bed between
the passing telegraph poles across to the streaming-by dusty stretching of
the road.
He was looking for sage hens. “You
don’t mind going away to school?” “No,”
he had said and it was true. It
would not have been true before but it was true that minute and it was only
now, at this
parting, that he ever felt as young again as he had felt before that train
left. He felt very
young now and very awkward and he was saying good-by as awkwardly as one can
be when saying good-by to a young girl when you are a boy in school, saying
good- by
at the front porch, not knowing whether to kiss the girl or not. Then he knew
it was not
the good-by he was being awkward about. It was the meeting he was going to.
The good-by
was only a part of the awkwardness he felt about the meeting. You’re
getting them again, he told himself. But I suppose there is no one that does
not feel
that he is too young to do it. He would not put a name to it. Come on, he
said to himself.
Come on. It is too early for your second childhood. “Good-by,
guapa,” he said. “Good-by, rabbit.” “Good-by,
my Roberto,” she said and he went over to where Anselmo and Agustín were
standing and said, “Vamonos.” Anselmo
swung his heavy pack up. Agustín, fully loaded since the cave, was leaning against
a tree, the automatic rifle jutting over the top of his load. “Good,”
he said, “Vamonos.” The
three of them started down the hill. “Buena
suerte, Don Roberto,” Fernando said as the three of them passed him as they moved
in single file between the trees. Fernando was crouched on his haunches a
little way
from where they passed but he spoke with great dignity. “Buena
suerte thyself, Fernando,” Robert Jordan said. “In
everything thou doest,” Agustín said. “Thank
you, Don Roberto,” Fernando said, undisturbed by Agustín. “That
one is a phenomenon, Inglés,” Agustín whispered. “I
believe thee,” Robert Jordan said. “Can I help thee? Thou art loaded like a
horse.” “I
am all right,” Agustín said. “Man, but I am content we are started.” “Speak
softly,” Anselmo said. “From now on speak little and softly.” Walking
carefully, downhill, Anselmo in the lead, Agustín next, Robert Jordan placing
his
feet carefully so that he would not slip, feeling the dead pine needles under
his rope- soled
shoes, bumping a tree root with one foot and putting a hand forward and
feeling the
cold metal jut of the automatic rifle barrel and the folded legs of the tripod,
then working
sideways down the hill, his shoes sliding and grooving the forest floor,
putting his
left hand out again and touching the rough bark of a tree trunk, then as he
braced himself
his hand feeling a smooth place, the base of the palm of his hand coming away
sticky
from the resinous sap where a blaze had been cut, they dropped down the steep
wooded
hillside to the point above the bridge where Robert Jordan and Anselmo had watched
the first day. Now
Anselmo was halted by a pine tree in the dark and he took Robert Jordan’s
wrist and
whispered, so low Jordan could hardly hear him, “Look. There is the fire in
his brazier.”
It
was a point of light below where Robert Jordan knew the bridge joined the
road. “Here
is where we watched,” Anselmo said. He took Robert Jordan’s hand and bent it down
to touch a small fresh blaze low on a tree trunk. “This I marked while thou watched.
To the right is where thou wished to put the máquina.” “We
will place it there.” “Good.”
They
put the packs down behind the base of the pine trunks and the two of them followed
Anselmo over to the level place where there was a clump of seedling pines. “It
is here,” Anselmo said. “Just here.” “From
here, with daylight,” Robert Jordan crouched behind the small trees whispered
to
Agustín, “thou wilt see a small stretch of road and the entrance to the
bridge. Thou wilt
see the length of the bridge and a small stretch of road at the other end
before it rounds
the curve of the rocks.” Agustín
said nothing. “Here
thou wilt lie while we prepare the exploding and fire on anything that comes from
above or below.” “Where
is that light?” Agustín asked. “In the sentry box at this end,” Robert
Jordan whispered. “Who
deals with the sentries?” “The
old man and I, as I told thee. But if we do not deal with them, thou must
fire into the
sentry boxes and at them if thou seest them.” “Yes.
You told me that.” “After
the explosion when the people of Pablo come around that corner, thou must
fire over
their heads if others come after them. Thou must fire high above them when
they appear
in any event that others must not come. Understandest thou?” “Why
not? It is as thou saidst last night.” “Hast
any questions?” “Nay.
I have two sacks. I can load them from above where it will not be seen and
bring them
here.” “But
do no digging here. Thou must be as well hid as we were at the top.” “Nay.
I will bring the dirt in them in the dark. You will see. They will not show
as I will fix
them.” “Thou
are very close. Sabes? In the daylight this clump shows clearly from below.” “Do
not worry, Inglés. Where goest thou?” “I
go close below with the small máquina of mine. The old man will cross the
gorge now
to be ready for the box of the other end. It faces in that direction.” “Then
nothing more,” said Agustín. “Salud, Inglés. Hast thou tobacco?” “Thou
canst not smoke. It is too close.” “Nay.
Just to hold in the mouth. To smoke later.” Robert
Jordan gave him his cigarette case and Agustín took three cigarettes and put them
inside the front flap of his herdsman’s flat cap. He spread the legs of his
tripod with the
gun muzzle in the low pines and commenced unpacking his load by touch and
laying the
things where he wanted them. “Nada
mas,” he said. “Well, nothing more.” Anselmo
and Robert Jordan left him there and went back to where the packs were. “Where
had we best leave them?” Robert Jordan whispered. “I
think here. But canst thou be sure of the sentry with thy small máquina from
here?” “Is
this exactly where we were on that day?” “The
same tree,” Anselmo said so low Jordan could barely hear him and he knew he was
speaking without moving his lips as he had spoken that first day. “I marked
it with my
knife.” Robert
Jordan had the feeling again of it all having happened before, but this time
it came
from his own repetition of a query and Anselmo’s answer. It had been the same
with
Agustín, who had asked a question about the sentries although he knew the answer.
“It
is close enough. Even too close,” he whispered. “But the light is behind us.
We are all
right here.” “Then
I will go now to cross the gorge and be in position at the other end,”
Anselmo said.
Then he said, “Pardon me, Inglés. So that there is no mistake. In case I am stupid.”
“What?”
he breathed very softly. “Only
to repeat it so that I will do it exactly.” “When
I fire, thou wilt fire. When thy man is eliminated, cross the bridge to me. I
will have
the packs down there and thou wilt do as I tell thee in the placing of the
charges. Everything
I will tell thee. If aught happens to me do it thyself as I showed thee. Take
thy time
and do it well, wedging all securely with the wooden wedges and lashing the grenades
firmly.” “It
is all clear to me,” Anselmo said. “I remember it all. Now I go. Keep thee
well covered,
Inglés, when daylight comes.” “When
thou firest,” Robert Jordan said, “take a rest and make very sure. Do not
think of
it as a man but as a target, de acuerdo? Do not shoot at the whole man but at
a point. Shoot
for the exact center of the belly—if he faces thee. At the middle of the
back, if he is
looking away. Listen, old one. When I fire if the man is sitting down he will
stand up before
he runs or crouches. Shoot then. If he is still sitting down shoot. Do not
wait. But make
sure. Get to within fifty yards. Thou art a hunter. Thou hast no problem.” “I
will do as thou orderest,” Anselmo said. “Yes.
I order it thus,” Robert Jordan said. I’m
glad I remembered to make it an order, he thought. That helps him out. That
takes some
of the curse off. I hope it does, anyway. Some of it. I had forgotten about
what he told
me that first day about the killing. “It
is thus I have ordered,” he said. “Now go.” “Me
voy,” said Anselmo. “Until soon, Inglés.” “Until
soon, old one,” Robert Jordan said. He
remembered his father in the railway station and the wetness of that farewell
and he
did not say Salud nor good-by nor good luck nor anything like that. “Hast
wiped the oil from the bore of thy gun, old one?” he whispered. “So it will
not throw
wild?” “In
the cave,” Anselmo said. “I cleaned them all with the pullthrough.” “Then
until soon,” Robert Jordan said and the old man went off, noiseless on his
rope- soled
shoes, swinging wide through the trees. Robert
Jordan lay on the pine-needle floor of the forest and listened to the first
stirring in
the branches of the pines of the wind that would come with daylight. He took
the clip out
of the submachine gun and worked the lock back and forth. Then he turned the
gun, with
the lock open and in the dark he put the muzzle to his lips and blew through
the barrel,
the metal tasting greasy and oily as his tongue touched the edge of the bore.
He laid
the gun across his forearm, the action up so that no pine needles or rubbish
could get
in it, and shucked all the cartridges out of the clip with his thumb and onto
a handkerchief
he had spread in front of him. Then, feeling each cartridge in the dark and turning
it in his fingers, he pressed and slid them one at a time back into the clip.
Now the
clip was heavy again in his hand and he slid it back into the submachine gun
and felt it
click home. He lay on his belly behind the pine trunk, the gun across his
left forearm and
watched the point of light below him. Sometimes he could not see it and then
he knew
that the man in the sentry box had moved in front of the brazier. Robert
Jordan lay there
and waited for daylight. 42 During the time that Pablo had ridden back
from the hills to the cave and the time the band
had dropped down to where they had left the horses Andrés had made rapid progress
toward Golz’s headquarters. Where they came onto the main highroad to Navacerrada
on which the trucks were rolling back from the mountain there was a control.
But when Gomez showed the sentry at the control his safe-conduct from the Lieutenant-Colonel
Miranda the sentry put the light from a flashlight on it, showed it to the
other sentry with him, then handed it back and saluted. “Siga,”
he said. “Continue. But without lights.” The
motorcycle roared again and Andrés was holding tight onto the forward seat
and they
were moving along the highway, Gomez riding carefully in the traffic. None of
the trucks
had lights and they were moving down the road in a long convoy. There were loaded
trucks moving up the road too, and all of them raised a dust that Andrés
could not
see in that dark but could only feel as a cloud that blew in his face and
that he could bite
between his teeth. They
were close behind the tailboard of a truck now, the motorcycle chugging, then
Gomez
speeded up and passed it and another, and another, and another with the other
trucks
roaring and rolling down past them on the left. There was a motorcar behind
them now
and it blasted into the truck noise and the dust with its klaxon again and
again; then flashed
on lights that showed the dust like a solid yellow cloud and surged past them
in a whining
rise of gears and a demanding, threatening, bludgeoning of klaxoning. Then ahead all the trucks were stopped and
riding on, working his way ahead past ambulances,
staff cars, an armored car, another, and a third, all halted, like heavy, metal,
gun-jutting turtles in the hot yet settled dust, they found another control
where there
had been a smash-up. A truck, halting, had not been seen by the truck which followed
it and the following truck had run into it smashing the rear of the first
truck in and
scattering cases of small-arms ammunition over the road. One case had burst
open on
landing and as Gomez and Andrés stopped and wheeled the motorcycle forward through
the stalled vehicles to show their safe-conduct at the control Andrés walked over
the brass hulls of the thousand of cartridges scattered across the road in
the dust. The
second truck had its radiator completely smashed in. The truck behind it was touching
its tail gate. A hundred more were piling up behind and an overbooted officer
was
running back along the road shouting to the drivers to back so that the
smashed truck
could be gotten off the road. There
were too many trucks for them to be able to back unless the officer reached
the end
of the ever mounting line and stopped it from increasing and Andrés saw him running,
stumbling, with his flashlight, shouting and cursing and, in the dark, the
trucks kept
coming up. The
man at the control would not give the safe-conduct back. There were two of
them, with
rifles slung on their backs and flashlights in their hands and they were
shouting too. The
one carrying the safe-conduct in his hand crossed the road to a truck going
in the downhill
direction to tell it to proceed to the next control and tell them there to
hold all trucks
until his jam was straightened out. The truck driver listened and went on.
Then, still
holding the safeconduct, the control patrol came over, shouting, to the truck
driver whose
load was spilled. “Leave
it and get ahead for the love of God so we can clear this!” he shouted at the
driver.
“My
transmission is smashed,” the driver, who was bent over by the rear of his
truck, said.
“Obscene
your transmission. Go ahead, I say.” “They
do not go ahead when the differential is smashed,” the driver told him and
bent down
again. “Get
thyself pulled then, get ahead so that we can get this other obscenity off
the road.”
The
driver looked at him sullenly as the control man shone the electric torch on
the smashed
rear of the truck. “Get
ahead. Get ahead,” the man shouted, still holding the safeconduct pass in his
hand.
“And
my paper,” Gomez spoke to him. “My safe-conduct. We are in a hurry.” “Take
thy safe-conduct to hell,” the man said and handing it to him ran across the
road to
halt a down-coming truck. “Turn
thyself at the crossroads and put thyself in position to pull this wreck
forward,” he
said to the driver. “My
orders are—” “Obscenity
thy orders. Do as I say.” The
driver let his truck into gear and rolled straight ahead down the road and
was gone
in the dust. As
Gomez started the motorcycle ahead onto the now clear right-hand side of the
road past
the wrecked truck, Andrés, holding tight again, saw the control guard halting
another
truck and the driver leaning from the cab and listening to him. Now
they went fast, swooping along the road that mounted steadily toward the mountain.
All forward traffic had been stalled at the control and there were only the descending
trucks passing, passing and passing on their left as the motorcycle climbed fast
and steadily now until it began to overtake the mounting traffic which had
gone on ahead
before the disaster at the control. Still
without lights they passed four more armored cars, then a long line of trucks
loaded
with troops. The troops were silent in the dark and at first Andrés only felt
their presence
rising above him, bulking above the truck bodies through the dust as they passed.
Then another staff came behind them blasting with its klaxon and flicking its
lights
off and on, and each time the lights shone Andrés saw the troops,
steel-helmeted, their
rifles vertical, their machine guns pointed up against the dark sky, etched
sharp against
the night that they dropped into when the light flicked off. Once as he
passed close
to a troop truck and the lights flashed he saw their faces fixed and sad in
the sudden
light. In their steel helmets, riding in the trucks in the dark toward
something that they
only knew was an attack, their faces were drawn with each man’s own problem
in the
dark and the light revealed them as they would not have looked in day, from
shame to
show it to each other, until the bombardment and the attack would commence,
and no man
would think about his face. Andrés
now passing them truck after truck, Gomez still keeping successfully ahead of
the
following staff car, did not think any of this about their faces. He only
thought, “What an
army. What equipment. What a mechanization. Vaya gente! Look at such people. Here
we have the army of the Republic. Look at them. Camion after camion. All uniformed
alike. All with casques of steel on their heads. Look at the máquinas rising from
the trucks against the coming of planes. Look at the army that has been
builded!” And
as the motorcycle passed the high gray trucks full of troops, gray trucks
with high square
cabs and square ugly radiators, steadily mounting the road in the dust and
the flicking
lights of the pursuing staff car, the red star of the army showing in the
light when it
passed over the tail gates, showing when the light came onto the sides of the
dusty truck
bodies, as they passed, climbing steadily now, the air colder and the road
starting to
turn in bends and switchbacks now, the trucks laboring and grinding, some
steaming in
the light flashes, the motorcycle laboring now too, and Andrés clinging tight
to the front
seat as they climbed, Andrés thought this ride on a motorcycle was mucho,
mucho. He
had never been on a motorcycle before and now they were climbing a mountain
in the
midst of all the movement that was going to an attack and, as they climbed,
he knew now
there was no problem of ever being back in time for the assault on the posts.
In this movement
and confusion he would be lucky to get back by the next night. He had never seen
an offensive or any of the preparations for one before and as they rode up
the road he
marvelled at the size and power of this army that the Republic had built. Now
they rode on a long slanting, rising stretch of road that ran across the face
of the mountain
and the grade was so steep as they neared the top that Gomez told him to get down
and together they pushed the motorcycle up the last steep grade of the pass.
At the
left, just past the top, there was a loop of road where cars could turn and
there were lights
winking in front of a big stone building that bulked long and dark against
the night sky.
“Let
us go to ask there where the headquarters is,” Gomez said to Andrés and they wheeled
the motorcycle over to where two sentries stood in front of the closed door
of the
great stone building. Gomez leaned the motorcycle against the wall as a motorcyclist
in a leather suit, showing against the light from inside the building as the door
opened, came out of the door with a dispatch case hung over his shoulder, a wooden-holstered
Mauser pistol swung against his hip. As the light went off, he found his
motorcycle in the dark by the door, pushed it until it sputtered and caught,
then roared
off up the road. At
the door Gomez spoke to one of the sentries. “Captain Gomez of the
Sixty-Fifth Brigade,”
he said. “Can you tell me where to find the headquarters of General Golz commanding
the ThirtyFifth Division?” “It
isn’t here,” the sentry said. “What
is here?” “The
Comandancia.” “What
comandancia?” “Well,
the Comandancia.” “The
comandancia of what?” “Who art thou to ask so many questions?” the
sentry said to Gomez in the dark. Here on
the top of the pass the sky was very clear with the stars out and Andrés, out
of the dust
now, could see quite clearly in the dark. Below them, where the road turned
to the right,
he could see clearly the outline of the trucks and cars that passed against
the sky line.
“I
am Captain Rogelio Gomez of the first battalion of the Sixty-Fifth Brigade
and I ask where
is the headquarters of General Golz,” Gomez said. The
sentry opened the door a little way. “Call the corporal of the guard,” he shouted
inside.
Just
then a big staff car came up over the turn of the road and circled toward the
big stone
building where Andrés and Gomez were standing waiting for the corporal of the
guard.
It came toward them and stopped outside the door. A large
man, old and heavy, in an oversized khaki beret, such as chasseurs a pied wear
in the French Army, wearing an overcoat, carrying a map case and wearing a pistol
strapped around his greatcoat, got out of the back of the car with two other
men in the
uniform of the International Brigades. He
spoke in French, which Andrés did not understand and of which Gomez, who had been
a barber, knew only a few words, to his chauffeur telling him to get the car
away from
the door and into shelter. As
he came into the door with the other two officers, Gomez saw his face clearly
in the light
and recognized him. He had seen him at political meetings and he had often
read articles
by him in Mundo Obrero translated from the French. He recognized his bushy eyebrows,
his watery gray eyes, his chin and the double chin under it, and he knew him for
one of France’s great modern revolutionary figures who had led the mutiny of
the French
Navy in the Black Sea. Gomez knew this man’s high political place in the International
Brigades and he knew this man would know where Golz’s headquarters were
and be able to direct him there. He did not know what this man had become
with time,
disappointment, bitterness both domestic and political, and thwarted ambition
and that
to question him was one of the most dangerous things that any man could do. Knowing
nothing of this he stepped forward into the path of this man, saluted with
his clenched
fist and said, “Comrade Marty, we are the bearers of a dispatch for General Golz.
Can you direct us to his headquarters? It is urgent.” The
tall, heavy old man looked at Gomez with his outthrust head and considered
him carefully
with his watery eyes. Even here at the front in the light of a bare electric
bulb, he having
just come in from driving in an open car on a brisk night, his gray face had
a look
of decay. His face looked as though it were modelled from the waste material
you find
under the claws of a very old lion. “You
have what, Comrade?” he asked Gomez, speaking Spanish with a strong Catalan
accent. His eyes glanced sideways at Andrés, slid over him, and went back to Gomez.
“A
dispatch for General Golz to be delivered at his headquarters, Comrade
Marty.” “Where
is it from, Comrade?” “From
behind the fascist lines,” Gomez said. André
Marty extended his hand for the dispatch and the other papers. He glanced at them
and put them in his pocket. “Arrest
them both,” he said to the corporal of the guard. “Have them searched and bring
them to me when I send for them.” With
the dispatch in his pocket he strode on into the interior of the big stone
house. Outside
in the guard room Gomez and Andrés were being searched by the guard. “What
passes with that man?” Gomez said to one of the guards. “Está
loco,” the guard said. “He is crazy.” “No.
He is a political figure of great importance,” Gomez said. “He is the chief commissar
of the International Brigades.” “Apesar
de eso, está loco,” the corporal of the guard said. “All the same he’s crazy.
What
do you behind the fascist lines?” “This comrade is a guerilla from there,”
Gomez told him while the man searched him. “He
brings a dispatch to General Golz. Guard well my papers. Be careful with that
money
and that bullet on the string. It is from my first wound at Guadarama.” “Don’t
worry,” the corporal said. “Everything will be in this drawer. Why didn’t you
ask me
where Golz was?” “We
tried to. I asked the sentry and he called you.” “But
then came the crazy and you asked him. No one should ask him anything. He is crazy.
Thy Golz is up the road three kilometers from here and to the right in the
rocks of the
forest.” “Can
you not let us go to him now?” “Nay.
It would be my head. I must take thee to the crazy. Besides, he has thy dispatch.”
“Can
you not tell some one?” “Yes,”
the corporal said. “I will tell the first responsible one I see. All know
that he is crazy.”
“I
had always taken him for a great figure,” Gomez said. “For one of the glories
of France.”
“He
may be a glory and all,” the corporal said and put his hand on Andrés’s
shoulder. “But
he is crazy as a bedbug. He has a mania for shooting people.” “Truly
shooting them?” “Como
lo oyes,” the corporal said. “That old one kills more than the bubonic
plague. Mata
más que la peste bubonica. But he doesn’t kill fascists like we do. Qué va.
Not in joke.
Mata bichos raros. He kills rare things. Trotzkyites. Divagationers. Any type
of rare beasts.”
Andrés
did not understand any of this. “When
we were at Escorial we shot I don’t know how many for him,” the corporal
said. “We
always furnish the firing party. The men of the Brigades would not shoot
their own men.
Especially the French. To avoid difficulties it is always us who do it. We shot
French.
We have shot Belgians. We have shot others of divers nationality. Of all
types. Tiene
mania de fusilar gente. Always for political things. He’s crazy. Purifica más
que el Salvarsán.
He purifies more than Salvarsan.” “But
you will tell some one of this dispatch?” “Yes,
man. Surely. I know every one of these two Brigades. Every one comes through here.
I know even up to and through the Russians, although only a few speak
Spanish. We
will keep this crazy from shooting Spaniards.” “But
the dispatch.” “The
dispatch, too. Do not worry, Comrade. We know how to deal with this crazy. He
is
only dangerous with his own people. We understand him now.” “Bring
in the two prisoners,” came the voice of André Marty. “Quereis
echar un trago?” the corporal asked. “Do you want a drink?” “Why
not?” The
corporal took a bottle of anis from a cupboard and both Gomez and Andrés
drank. So
did the corporal. He wiped his mouth on his hand. “Vamonos,”
he said. They
went out of the guard room with the swallowed burn of the anis warming their mouths,
their bellies and their hearts and walked down the hall and entered the room where
Marty sat behind a long table, his map spread in front of him, his
red-and-blue pencil,
with which he played at being a general officer, in his hand. To Andrés it
was only
one more thing. There had been many tonight. There were always many. If your papers
were in order and your heart was good you were in no danger. Eventually they turned
you loose and you were on your way. But the Inglés had said to hurry. He knew
now
he could never get back for the bridge but they had a dispatch to deliver and
this old
man there at the table had put it in his pocket. “Stand
there,” Marty said without looking up. “Listen,
Comrade Marty,” Gomez broke out, the anis fortifying his anger. “Once tonight
we
have been impeded by the ignorance of the anarchists. Then by the sloth of a bureaucratic
fascist. Now by the oversuspicion of a Communist.” “Close
your mouth,” Marty said without looking up. “This is not a meeting.” “Comrade
Marty, this is a matter of utmost urgence,” Gomez said. “Of the greatest importance.”
The
corporal and the soldier with them were taking a lively interest in this as
though they
were at a play they had seen many times but whose excellent moments they
could always
savor. “Everything
is of urgence,” Marty said. “All things are of importance.” Now he looked up
at them, holding the pencil. “How did you know Golz was here? Do you understand
how
serious it is to come asking for an individual general before an attack? How
could you
know such a general would be here?” “Tell
him, tu,” Gomez said to Andrés. “Comrade
General,” Andrés started—André Marty did not correct him in the mistake in rank—”I
was given that packet on the other side of the lines—” “On
the other side of the lines?” Marty said. “Yes, I heard him say you came from
the fascist
lines.” “It
was given to me, Comrade General, by an Inglés named Roberto who had come to us
as a dynamiter for this of the bridge. Understandeth?” “Continue
thy story,” Marty said to Andrés; using the term story as you would say lie, falsehood,
or fabrication. “Well,
Comrade General, the Inglés told me to bring it to the General Golz with all speed.
He makes an attack in these hills now on this day and all we ask is to take
it to him
now promptly if it pleases the Comrade General.” Marty
shook his head again. He was looking at Andrés but he was not seeing him. Golz,
he thought in a mixture of horror and exultation as a man might feel hearing
that a
business enemy had been killed in a particularly nasty motor accident or that
some one
you hated but whose probity you had never doubted had been guilty of
defalcation. That
Golz should be one of them, too. That Golz should be in such obvious communication
with the fascists. Golz that he had known for nearly twenty years. Golz who
had captured the gold train that winter with Lucacz in Siberia. Golz who had
fought against
Kolchak, and in Poland. In the Caucasus. In China, and here since the first October.
But he had been close to Tukachevsky. To Voroshilov, yes, too. But to Tukachevsky.
And to who else? Here to Karkov, of course. And to Lucacz. But all the Hungarians
had been intriguers. He hated Gall. Golz hated Gall. Remember that. Make a
note of that. Golz has always hated Gall. But he favors Putz. Remember that.
And Duval
is his chief of staff. See what stems from that. You’ve heard him say Copic’s
a fool.
That is definitive. That exists. And now this dispatch from the fascist
lines. Only by pruning
out of these rotten branches can the tree remain healthy and grow. The rot
must become
apparent for it is to be destroyed. But Golz of all men. That Golz should be
one of
the traitors. He knew that you could trust no one. No one. Ever. Not your
wife. Not your
brother. Not your oldest comrade. No one. Ever. “Take
them away,” he said to the guards. “Guard them carefully.” The corporal
looked at
the soldier. This had been very quiet for one of Marty’s performances. “Comrade
Marty,” Gomez said. “Do not be insane. Listen to me, a loyal officer and comrade.
That is a dispatch that must be delivered. This comrade has brought it
through the
fascist lines to give to Comrade General Golz.” “Take
them away,” Marty said, now kindly, to the guard. He was sorry for them as human
beings if it should be necessary to liquidate them. But it was the tragedy of
Golz that
oppressed him. That it should be Golz, he thought. He would take the fascist communication
at once to Varloff. No, better he would take it to Golz himself and watch him
as he received it. That was what he would do. How could he be sure of Varloff
if Golz
was one of them? No. This was a thing to be very careful about. Andrés
turned to Gomez, “You mean he is not going to send the dispatch?” he asked, unbelieving.
“Don’t you see?” Gomez said. “Me
cago en su puta madre!” Andrés said. “Está loco.” “Yes,”
Gomez said. “He is crazy. You are crazy! Hear! Crazy!” he shouted at Marty who
was back now bending over the map with his red-and-blue pencil. “Hear me, you
crazy
murderer?” “Take
them away,” Marty said to the guard. “Their minds are unhinged by their great
guilt.”
There
was a phrase the corporal recognized. He had heard that before. “You
crazy murderer!” Gomez shouted. “Hijo
de la gran puta,” Andrés said to him. “Loco.” The
stupidity of this man angered him. If he was a crazy let him be removed as a crazy.
Let the dispatch be taken from his pocket. God damn this crazy to hell. His
heavy Spanish
anger was rising out of his usual calm and good temper. In a little while it
would blind
him. Marty,
looking at his map, shook his head sadly as the guards took Gomez and Andrés
out. The guards had enjoyed hearing him cursed but on the whole they had been
disappointed in the performance. They had seen much better ones. André Marty did
not mind the men cursing him. So many men had cursed him at the end. He was always
genuinely sorry for them as human beings. He always told himself that and it was
one of the last true ideas that was left to him that had ever been his own. He
sat there, his moustache and his eyes focused on the map, on the map that he never
truly understood, on the brown tracing of the contours that were traced fine
and concentric
as a spider’s web. He could see the heights and the valleys from the contours
but he never really understood why it should be this height and why this
valley was
the one. But at the General Staff where, because of the system of Political Commissars,
he could intervene as the political head of the Brigades, he would put his finger
on such and such a numbered, brown-thin-lined encircled spot among the greens
of
woods cut by the lines of roads that parallel the never casual winding of a
river and say,
“There. That is the point of weakness.” Gall
and Copic, who were men of politics and of ambition, would agree and later,
men who
never saw the map, but heard the number of the hill before they left their
starting place
and had the earth of diggings on it pointed out, would climb its side to find
their death
along its slope or, being halted by machine guns placed in olive groves would
never
get up it at all. Or on other fronts they might scale it easily and be no
better off than
they had been before. But when Marty put his finger on the map in Golz’s
staff the scarheaded,
white-faced General’s jaw muscles would tighten and he would think, “I should
shoot you, André Marty, before I let you put that gray rotten finger on a
contour map
of mine. Damn you to hell for all the men you’ve killed by interfering in
matters you know
nothing of. Damn the day they named tractor factories and villages and co- operatives
for you so that you are a symbol that I cannot touch. Go and suspect and exhort
and intervene and denounce and butcher some other place and leave my staff alone.”
But
instead of saying that Golz would only lean back away from the leaning bulk,
the pushing
finger, the watery gray eyes, the graywhite moustache and the bad breath and say,
“Yes, Comrade Marty. I see your point. It is not well taken, however, and I
do not agree.
You can try to go over my head if you like. Yes. You can make it a Party
matter as
you say. But I do not agree.” So
now André Marty sat working over his map at the bare table with the raw light
on the
unshaded electric light bulb over his head, the overwide beret pulled forward
to shade
his eyes, referring to the mimeographed copy of the orders for the attack and
slowly
and laboriously working them out on the map as a young officer might work a problem
at a staff college. He was engaged in war. In his mind he was commanding troops;
he had the right to interfere and this he believed to constitute command. So
he sat
there with Robert Jordan’s dispatch to Golz in his pocket and Gomez and
Andrés waited
in the guard room and Robert Jordan lay in the woods above the bridge. It is doubtful if the outcome of Andrés’s
mission would have been any different if he and
Gomez had been allowed to proceed without André Marty’s hindrance. There was no
one at the front with sufficient authority to cancel the attack. The
machinery had been in
motion much too long for it to be stopped suddenly now. There is a great
inertia about all
military operations of any size. But once this inertia has been overcome and movement
is under way they are almost as hard to arrest as to initiate. But
on this night the old man, his beret pulled forward, was still sitting at the
table with his
map when the door opened and Karkov the Russian journalist came in with two other
Russians in civilian clothes, leather coats and caps. The corporal of the
guard closed
the door reluctantly behind them. Karkov had been the first responsible man
he had
been able to communicate with. “Tovarich
Marty,” said Karkov in his politely disdainful lisping voice and smiled, showing
his bad teeth. Marty
stood up. He did not like Karkov, but Karkov, coming from Pravda and in
direct communication
with Stalin, was at this moment one of the three most important men in Spain.
“Tovarich
Karkov,” he said. “You
are preparing the attack?” Karkov said insolently, nodding toward the map. “I
am studying it,” Marty answered. “Are
you attacking? Or is it Golz?” Karkov asked smoothly. “I
am only a commissar, as you know,” Marty told him. “No,”
Karkov said. “You are modest. You are really a general. You have your map and
your
field glasses. But were you not an admiral once, Comrade Marty?” “I
was a gunner’s mate,” said Marty. It was a lie. He had really been a chief
yeoman at the
time of the mutiny. But he thought now, always, that he had been a gunner’s
mate. “Ah.
I thought you were a first-class yeoman,” Karkov said. “I always get my facts
wrong.
It is the mark of the journalist.” The
other Russians had taken no part in the conversation. They were both looking over
Marty’s shoulder at the map and occasionally making a remark to each other in
their
own language. Marty and Karkov spoke French after the first greeting. “It
is better not to get facts wrong in Pravda,” Marty said. He said it brusquely
to build himself
up again. Karkov always punctured him. The French word is dégonfler and Marty
was worried and made wary by him. It was hard, when Karkov spoke, to remember
with what importance he, André Marty, came from the Central Committee of the
French Communist Party. It was hard to remember, too, that he was
untouchable. Karkov
seemed always to touch him so lightly and whenever he wished. Now Karkov said,
“I usually correct them before I send them to Pravda, I am quite accurate in Pravda.
Tell me, Comrade Marty, have you heard anything of any message coming through
for Golz from one of our partizan groups operating toward Segovia? There is
an American
comrade there named Jordan that we should have heard from. There have been
reports of fighting there behind the fascist lines. He would have sent a message
through
to Golz.” “An
American?” Marty asked. Andrés had said an Inglés. So that is what it was. So
he had
been mistaken. Why had those fools spoken to him anyway?” “Yes,”
Karkov looked at him contemptuously, “a young American of slight political development
but a great way with the Spaniards and a fine partizan record. Just give me
the dispatch, Comrade Marty. It has been delayed enough.” “What
dispatch?” Marty asked. It was a very stupid thing to say and he knew it. But
he was
not able to admit he was wrong that quickly and he said it anyway to delay
the moment
of humiliation, not accepting any humiliation. “And the safe-conduct pass,” Karkov
said through his bad teeth. André
Marty put his hand in his pocket and laid the dispatch on the table. He
looked Karkov
squarely in the eye. All right. He was wrong and there was nothing he could
do about
it now but he was not accepting any humiliation. “And the safe-conduct pass,”
Karkov
said softly. Marty laid it beside the dispatch. “Comrade
Corporal,” Karkov called in Spanish. The
corporal opened the door and came in. He looked quickly at André Marty, who stared
back at him like an old boar which has been brought to bay by hounds. There was
no fear on Marty’s face and no humiliation. He was only angry, and he was
only temporarily
at bay. He knew these dogs could never hold him. “Take
these to the two comrades in the guard room and direct them to General Golz’s
headquarters,”
Karkov said. “There has been too much delay.” The
corporal went out and Marty looked after him, then looked at Karkov. “Tovarich
Marty,” Karkov said, “I am going to find out just how untouchable you are.” Marty
looked straight at him and said nothing. “Don’t
start to have any plans about the corporal, either,” Karkov went on. “It was
not the
corporal. I saw the two men in the guard room and they spoke to me” (this was
a lie).
“I hope all men always will speak to me” (this was the truth although it was
the corpora!
who had spoken). But Karkov had this belief in the good which could come from
his own accessibility and the humanizing possibility of benevolent
intervention. It was
the one thing he was never cynical about. “You
know when I am in the U.S.S.R. people write to me in Pravda when there is an injustice
in a town in Azerbaijan. Did you know that? They say ‘Karkov will help us.” André
Marty looked at him with no expression on his face except anger and dislike. There
was nothing in his mind now but that Karkov had done something against him.
All right,
Karkov, power and all, could watch out. “This
is something else,” Karkov went on, “but it is the same principle. I am going
to find
Out just how untouchable you are, Comrade Marty. I would like to know if it
could not
be possible to change the name of that tractor factory.” André
Marty looked away from him and back to the map. “What
did young Jordan say?” Karkov asked him. “I
did not read it,” André Marty said. “Et maintenant fiche moi la paix, Comrade
Karkov.”
“Good,”
said Karkov. “I leave you to your military labors.” He
stepped out of the room and walked to the guard room. Andrés and Gomez were already
gone and he stood there a moment looking up the road and at the mountain tops
beyond that showed now in the first gray of daylight. We must get on up
there, he thought.
It will be soon, now. Andrés
and Gomez were on the motorcycle on the road again and it was getting light. Now
Andrés, holding again to the back of the seat ahead of him as the motorcycle climbed
turn after switchback turn in a faint gray mist that lay over the top of the
pass, felt
the motorcycle speed under him, then skid and stop and they were standing by
the motorcycle
on a long, down-slope of road and in the woods, on their left, were tanks covered
with pine branches. There were troops here all through the woods. Andrés saw men
carrying the long poles of stretchers over their shoulders. Three staff cars
were off the
road to the right, in under the trees, with branches laid against their sides
and other pine
branches over their tops. Gomez
wheeled the motorcycle up to one of them. He leaned it against a pine tree and
spoke to the chauffeur who was sitting by the car, his back against a tree. “I’ll
take you to him,” the chauffeur said. “Put thy moto out of sight and cover it
with these.”
He pointed to a pile of cut branches. With
the sun just starting to come through the high branches of the pine trees,
Gomez and
Andrés followed the chauffeur, whose name was Vicente, through the pines
across the
road and up the slope to the entrance of a dugout from the roof of which
signal wires ran
on up over the wooded slope. They stood outside while the chauffeur went in
and Andrés
admired the construction of the dugout which showed only as a hole in the hillside,
with no dirt scattered about, but which he could see, from the entrance, was both
deep and profound with men moving around in it freely with no need to duck
their heads
under the heavy timbered roof. Vicente, the chauffeur, came out. “He
is up above where they are deploying for the attack,” he said. “I gave it to
his Chief
of Staff. He signed for it. Here.” He
handed Gomez the receipted envelope. Gomez gave it to Andrés, who looked at
it and
put it inside his shirt. “What
is the name of him who signed?” he asked. “Duval,”
Vicente said. “Good,”
said Andrés. “He was one of the three to whom I might give it.” “Should
we wait for an answer?” Gomez asked Andrés. “It
might be best. Though where I will find the Inglés and the others after that
of the bridge
neither God knows.” “Come
wait with me,” Vicente said, “until the General returns. And I will get thee coffee.
Thou must be hungry.” “And
these tanks,” Gomez said to him. They
were passing the branch-covered, mud-colored tanks, each with two deep- ridged
tracks over the pine needles showing where they had swung and backed from the
road. Their 45-mm. guns jutted horizontally under the branches and the
drivers and gunners
in their leather coats and ridged helmets sat with their backs against the
trees or
lay sleeping on the ground. “These
are the reserve,” Vicente said. “Also these troops are in reserve. Those who commence
the attack are above.” “They
are many,” Andrés said. “Yes,”
Vicente said. “It is a full division.” Inside
the dugout Duval, holding the opened dispatch from Robert Jordan in his left hand,
glancing at his wrist watch on the same hand, reading the dispatch for the
fourth time,
each time feeling the sweat come out from under his armpit and run down his flank,
said into the telephone, “Get me position Segovia, then. He’s left? Get me
position Avila.”
He
kept on with the phone. It wasn’t any good. He had talked to both brigades.
Golz had
been up to inspect the dispositions for the attack and was on his way to an observation
post. He called the observation post and he was not there. “Get
me planes one,” Duval said, suddenly taking all responsibility. He would take
responsibility
for holding it up. It was better to hold it up. You could not send them to a surprise
attack against an enemy that was waiting for it. You couldn’t do it. It was
just murder.
You couldn’t. You mustn’t. No matter what. They could shoot him if they wanted.
He would call the airfield directly and get the bombardment cancelled. But suppose
it’s just a holding attack? Suppose we were supposed to draw off all that material
and those forces? Suppose that is what it is for? They never tell you it is a
holding
attack when you make it. “Cancel
the call to planes one,” he told the signaller. “Get me the Sixty-Ninth
Brigade observation
post.” He
was still calling there when he heard the first sound of the planes. It
was just then he got through to the observation post. “Yes,”
Golz said quietly. He
was sitting leaning back against the sandbag, his feet against a rock, a
cigarette hung
from his lower lip and he was looking up and over his shoulder while he was talking.
He was seeing the expanding wedges of threes, silver and thundering in the
sky that
were coming over the far shoulder of the mountain where the first sun was
striking. He
watched them come shining and beautiful in the sun. He saw the twin circles
of light where
the sun shone on the propellers as they came. “Yes,”
he said into the telephone, speaking in French because it was Duval on the wire.
“Nous sommes foutus. Oui. Comme toujours. Oui. C’est dommage. Oui. It’s a shame
it came too late.” His
eyes, watching the planes coming, were very proud. He saw the red wing markings
now and he watched their steady, stately roaring advance. This was how it could
be. These were our planes. They had come, crated on ships, from the Black Sea
through
the Straits of Marmora, through the Dardanelles, through the Mediterranean
and to
here, unloaded lovingly at Alicante, assembled ably, tested and found perfect
and now
flown in lovely hammering precision, the V’s tight and pure as they came now
high and
silver in the morning sun to blast those ridges across there and blow them
roaring high
so that we can go through. Golz
knew that once they had passed overhead and on, the bombs would fall, looking
like
porpoises in the air as they tumbled. And then the ridge tops would spout and
roar in
jumping clouds and disappear in one great blowing cloud. Then the tanks would
grind clanking
up those two slopes and after them would go his two brigades. And if it had been
a surprise they could go on and down and over and through, pausing, cleaning
up, dealing
with, much to do, much to be done intelligently with the tanks helping, with
the tanks
wheeling and returning, giving covering fire and others bringing the
attackers up then
slipping on and over and through and pushing down beyond. This was how it
would be
if there was no treason and if all did what they should. There
were the two ridges, and there were the tanks ahead and there were his two good
brigades ready to leave the woods and here came the planes now. Everything he
had
to do had been done as it should be. But
as he watched the planes, almost up to him now, he felt sick at his stomach
for he knew
from having heard Jordan’s dispatch over the phone that there would be no one
on
those two ridges. They’d be withdrawn a little way below in narrow trenches
to escape
the fragments, or hiding in the timber and when the bombers passed they’d get
back
up there with their machine guns and their automatic weapons and the
anti-tank guns
Jordan had said went up the road, and it would be one famous balls up more.
But the
planes, now coming deafeningly, were how it could have been and Golz watching
them,
looking up, said into the telephone, “No. Rien a faire. Rien. Faut pas
penser. Faut accepter.”
Golz
watched the planes with his hard proud eyes that knew how things could be and
how
they would be instead and said, proud of how they could be, believing in how
they could
be, even if they never were, “Bon. Nous ferons notre petit possible,” and
hung up. But
Duval did not hear him. Sitting at the table holding the receiver, all he
heard was the
roar of the planes and he thought, now, maybe this time, listen to them come,
maybe
the bombers will blow them all off, maybe we will get a break-through, maybe
he will
get the reserves he asked for, maybe this is it, maybe this is the time. Go
on. Come on.
Go on. The roar was such that he could not hear what he was thinking. 43 Robert Jordan lay behind the trunk of a pine
tree on the slope of the hill above the road
and the bridge and watched it become daylight. He loved this hour of the day always
and now he watched it; feeling it gray within him, as though he were a part
of the slow
lightening that comes before the rising of the sun; when solid things darken
and space
lightens and the lights that have shone in the night go yellow and then fade
as the day
comes. The pine trunks below him were hard and clear now, their trunks solid
and brown
and the road was shiny with a wisp of mist over it. The dew had wet him and
the forest
floor was soft and he felt the give of the brown, dropped pine needles under
his elbows.
Below he saw, through the light mist that rose from the stream bed, the steel
of the
bridge, straight and rigid across the gap, with the wooden sentry boxes at
each end. But
as he looked the structure of the bridge was still spidery and fine in the
mist that hung
over the stream. He
saw the sentry now in his box as he stood, his back with the hanging blanket
coat topped
by the steel casque on his head showing as he leaned forward over the hole- punched
petrol tin of the brazier, warming his hands. Robert Jordan heard the stream,
far
down in the rocks, and he saw a faint, thin smoke that rose from the sentry
box. He
looked at his watch and thought, I wonder if Andrés got through to Golz? If
we are going
to blow it I would like to breathe very slowly and slow up the time again and
feel it. Do
you think he made it? Andrés? And if he did would they call it off? If they
had time to call
it off? Qué va. Do not worry. They will or they won’t. There are no more
decisions and
in a little while you will know. Suppose the attack is successful. Golz said
it could be.
That there was a possibility. With our tanks coming down that road, the
people coming
through from the right and down and past La Granja and the whole left of the mountains
turned. Why don’t you ever think of how it is to win? You’ve been on the defensive
for so long that you can’t think of that. Sure. But that was before all that
stuff went
up this road. That was before all the planes came. Don’t be so naïve. But remember
this that as long as we can hold them here we keep the fascists tied up. They
can’t
attack any other country until they finish with us and they can never finish
with us. If
the French help at all, if only they leave the frontier open and if we get
planes from America
they can never finish with us. Never, if we get anything at all. These people
will fight
forever if they’re well armed. No
you must not expect victory here, not for several years maybe. This is just a
holding
attack. You must not get illusions about it now. Suppose we got a
break-through today?
This is our first big attack. Keep your sense of proportion. But what if we
should have
it? Don’t get excited, he told himself. Remember what went up the road.
You’ve done
what you could about that. We should have portable short-wave sets, though.
We will,
in time. But we haven’t yet. You just watch now and do what you should. Today
is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in
all the other
days that ever come can depend on what you do today. It’s been that way all
this year.
It’s been that way so many times. All of this war is that way. You are
getting very pompous
in the early morning, he told himself. Look there what’s coming now. He
saw the two men in blanket capes and steel helmets come around the corner of the
road walking toward the bridge, their rifles slung over their shoulders. One
stopped at
the far end of the bridge and was out of sight in the sentry box. The other
came on across
the bridge, walking slowly and heavily. He stopped on the bridge and spat
into the
gorge, then came on slowly to the near end of the bridge where the other
sentry spoke
to him and then started off back over the bridge. The sentry who was relieved
walked
faster than the other had done (because he’s going to coffee, Robert Jordan thought)
but he too spat down into the gorge. I
wonder if that is superstition? Robert Jordan thought. I’ll have to take me a
spit in that
gorge too. If I can spit by then. No. It can’t be very powerful medicine. It
can’t work. I’ll
have to prove it doesn’t work before I am out there. The
new sentry had gone inside the box and sat down. His rifle with the bayonet
fixed was
leaning against the wall. Robert Jordan took his glasses from his shirt
pocket and turned
the eyepieces until the end of the bridge showed sharp and gray-painted-metal
clear.
Then he moved them onto the sentry box. The
sentry sat leaning against the wall. His helmet hung on a peg and his face showed
clearly. Robert Jordan saw he was the same man who had been there on guard two
days before in the afternoon watch. He was wearing the same knitted
stocking-cap. And
he had not shaved. His cheeks were sunken and his cheekbones prominent. He had
bushy eyebrows that grew together in the center. He looked sleepy and as
Robert Jordan
watched him he yawned. Then he took out a tobacco pouch and a packet of papers
and rolled himself a cigarette. He tried to make a lighter work and finally
put it in his
pocket and went over to the brazier, leaned over, reached inside, brought up
a piece of
charcoal, juggled it in one hand while he blew on it, then lit the cigarette
and tossed the
lump of charcoal back into the brazier. Robert
Jordan, looking through the Zeiss 8-power glasses, watched his face as he leaned
against the wall of the sentry box drawing on the cigarette. Then he took the
glasses
down, folded them together and put them in his pocket. I
won’t look at him again, he told himself. He
lay there and watched the road and tried not to think at all. A squirrel
chittered from a
pine tree below him and Robert Jordan watched the squirrel come down the tree
trunk,
stopping on his way down to turn his head and look toward where the man was watching.
He saw the squirrel’s eyes, small and bright, and watched his tail jerk in excitement.
Then the squirrel crossed to another tree, moving on the ground in long, small-pawed,
tail-exaggerated bounds. On the tree trunk he looked back at Robert Jordan,
then pulled himself around the trunk and out of sight. Then Robert Jordan
heard the
squirrel chitter from a high branch of the pine tree and he watched him
there, spread flat
along the branch, his tail jerking. Robert
Jordan looked down through the pines to the sentry box again. He would like
to have
had the squirrel with him in his pocket. He would like to have had anything
that he could
touch. He rubbed his elbows against the pine needles but it was not the same.
Nobody
knows how lonely you can be when you do this. Me, though, I know. I hope that
Rabbit
will get out of this all right. Stop that now. Yes, sure. But I can hope that
and I do. That
I blow it well and that she gets out all right. Good. Sure. Just that. That
is all I want now.
He
lay there now and looked away from the road and the sentry box and across to
the far
mountain. Just do not think at all, he told himself. He lay there quietly and
watched the
morning come. It was a fine early summer morning and it came very fast now in
the end
of May. Once a motorcyclist in a leather coat and all-leather helmet with an automatic
rifle in a holster by his left leg came across the bridge and went on up the road.
Once an ambulance crossed the bridge, passed below him, and went up the road.
But
that was all. He smelled the pines and he heard the stream and the bridge showed
clear
now and beautiful in the morning light. He lay there behind the pine tree,
with the submachine
gun across his left forearm, and he never looked at the sentry box again until,
long after it seemed that it was never coming, that nothing could happen on
such a lovely
late May morning, he heard the sudden, clustered, thudding of the bombs. As
he heard the bombs, the first thumping noise of them, before the echo of them
came
back in thunder from the mountain, Robert Jordan drew in a long breath and
lifted the
submachine gun from where it lay. His arm felt stiff from its weight and his
fingers were
heavy with reluctance. The
man in the sentry box stood up when he heard the bombs. Robert Jordan saw him
reach for his rifle and step forward out of the box listening. He stood in
the road with the
sun shining on him. The knitted cap was on the side of his head and the sun
was on his
unshaved face as he looked up into the sky toward where the planes were
bombing. There
was no mist on the road now and Robert Jordan saw the man, clearly and sharply,
standing there on the road looking up at the sky. The sun shone bright on him
through
the trees. Robert
Jordan felt his own breath tight now as though a strand of wire bound his
chest and,
steadying his elbows, feeling the corrugations of the forward grip against
his fingers,
he put the oblong of the foresight, settled now in the notch of the rear,
onto the center
of the man’s chest and squeezed the trigger gently. He
felt the quick, liquid, spastic lurching of the gun against his shoulder and
on the road
the man, looking surprised and hurt, slid forward on his knees and his
forehead doubled
to the road. His rifle fell by him and lay there with one of the man’s
fingers twisted
through the trigger guard, his wrist bent forward. The rifle lay, bayonet
forward on
the road. Robert Jordan looked away from the man lying with his head doubled
under on
the road to the bridge, and the sentry box at the other end. He could not see
the other
sentry and he looked down the slope to the right where he knew Agustín was hidden.
Then he heard Anselmo shoot, the shot smashing an echo back from the gorge. Then
he heard him shoot again. With
that second shot came the cracking boom of grenades from around the corner below
the bridge. Then there was the noise of grenades from well up the road to the
left. Then
he heard rifle-firing up the road and from below came the noise of Pablo’s
cavalry automatic
rifle spat-spat-spat-spatting into the noise of grenades. He saw Anselmo scrambling
down the steep cut to the far end of the bridge and he slung the submachine gun
over his shoulder and picked up the two heavy packs from behind the pine
trunks and
with one in each hand, the packs pulling his arms so that he felt the tendons
would pull
out of his shoulders, he ran lurching down the steep slope to the road. As
he ran he heard Agustín shouting, “Buena caza, Inglés. Buena caza!” and he thought,
“Nice hunting, like hell, nice hunting,” and just then he heard Anselmo shoot
at the
far end of the bridge, the noise of the shot clanging in the steel girders.
He passed the
sentry where he lay and ran onto the bridge, the packs swinging. The
old man came running toward him, holding his carbine in one hand. “Sin novedad,”
he shouted. “There’s nothing wrong. Tuve que rematarlo. I had to finish him.”
Robert
Jordan, kneeling, opening the packs in the center of the bridge taking out
his material,
saw that tears were running down Anselmo’s cheeks through the gray beard stubble.
“Yo
maté uno tambien,” he said to Anselmo. “I killed one too,” and jerked his
head toward
where the sentry lay hunched over in the road at the end of the bridge. “Yes,
man, yes,” Anselmo said. “We have to kill them and we kill them.” Robert
Jordan was climbing down into the framework of the bridge. The girders were cold
and wet with dew under his hands and he climbed carefully, feeling the sun on
his back,
bracing himself in a bridge truss, hearing the noise of the tumbling water
below him,
hearing firing, too much firing, up the road at the upper post. He was
sweating heavily
now and it was cool under the bridge. He had a coil of wire around one arm
and a
pair of pliers hung by a thong from his wrist. “Hand
me that down a package at a time, viejo,” he called up to Anselmo. The old man
leaned far over the edge handing down the oblong blocks of explosive and
Robert Jordan
reached up for them, shoved them in where he wanted them, packed them close,
braced them, “Wedges, viejo! Give me wedges!” smelling the fresh shingle
smell of
the new whittled wedges as he tapped them in tight to hold the charge between
the girders.
Now
as he worked, placing, bracing, wedging, lashing tight with wire, thinking
only of demolition,
working fast and skillfully as a surgeon works, he heard a rattle of firing
from below
on the road. Then there was the noise of a grenade. Then another, booming through
the rushing noise the water made. Then it was quiet from that direction. “Damn,”
he thought. “I wonder what hit them then?” There
was still firing up the road at the upper post. Too damned much firing, and
he was
lashing two grenades side by side on top of the braced blocks of explosive,
winding wire
over their corrugations so they would hold tight and firm and lashing it
tight; twisting it
with the pliers. He felt of the whole thing and then, to make it more solid,
tapped in a wedge
above the grenades that blocked the whole charge firmly in against the steel.
“The
other side now, viejo,” he shouted up to Anselmo and climbed across through
the trestling,
like a bloody Tarzan in a rolled steel forest, he thought, and then coming
out from
under the dark, the stream tumbling below him, he looked up and saw Anselmo’s
face
as he reached the packages of explosive down to him. Goddamn good face, he thought.
Not crying now. That’s all to the good. And one side done. This side now and we’re
done. This will drop it like what all. Come on. Don’t get excited. Do it.
Clean and fast
as the last one. Don’t fumble with it. Take your time. Don’t try to do it
faster than you can.
You can’t lose now. Nobody can keep you from blowing one side now. You’re
doing it
just the way you should. This is a cool place. Christ, it feels cool as a
wine cellar and there’s
no crap. Usually working under a stone bridge it’s full of crap. This is a
dream bridge.
A bloody dream bridge. It’s the old man on top who’s in a bad spot. Don’t try
to do
it faster than you can. I wish that shooting would be over up above. “Give me
some wedges,
viejo.” I don’t like that shooting still. Pilar has got in trouble there.
Some of the post
must have been out. Out back; or behind the mill. They’re still shooting. That
means
there’s somebody still at the mill. And all that damned sawdust. Those big
piles of
sawdust. Sawdust, when it’s old and packed, is good stuff to fight behind.
There must be
several of them still. It’s quiet below with Pablo. I wonder what that second
flare-up was.
It must have been a car or a motorcyclist. I hope to God they don’t have any armored
cars come up or any tanks. Go on. Put it in just as fast as you can and wedge
it tight
and lash it fast. You’re shaking, like a Goddamn woman. What the hell is the
matter with
you? You’re trying to do it too fast. I’ll bet that Goddamn woman up above
isn’t shaking.
That Pilar. Maybe she is too. She sounds as though she were in plenty
trouble. She’ll
shake if she gets in enough. Like everybody bloody else. He
leaned out and up into the sunlight and as he reached his hand up to take
what Anselmo
handed him, his head now above the noise of the falling water, the firing increased
sharply up the road and then the noise of grenades again. Then more grenades.
“They
rushed the sawmill then.” It’s
lucky I’ve got this stuff in blocks, he thought. Instead of sticks. What the
hell. It’s just
neater. Although a lousy canvas sack full of jelly would be quicker. Two
sacks. No. One
of that would do. And if we just had detonators and the old exploder. That
son of a bitch
threw my exploder in the river. That old box and the places that it’s been.
In this river
he threw it. That bastard Pablo. He gave them hell there below just now. “Give
me some
more of that, viejo.” The
old man’s doing very well. He’s in quite a place up there. He hated to shoot
that sentry.
So did I but I didn’t think about it. Nor do I think about it now. You have
to do that.
But then Anselmo got a cripple. I know about cripples. I think that killing a
man with an
automatic weapon makes it easier. I mean on the one doing it. It is
different. After the first
touch it is it that does it. Not you. Save that to go into some other time.
You and your
head. You have a nice thinking head old Jordan. Roll Jordan, Roll! They used
to yell
that at football when you lugged the ball. Do you know the damned Jordan is
really not
much bigger than that creek down there below. At the source, you mean. So is anything
else at the source. This is a place here under this bridge. A home away from home.
Come on Jordan, pull yourself together. This is serious Jordan. Don’t you understand?
Serious. It’s less so all the time. Look at that other side. Para qué? I’m
all right
now however she goes. As Maine goes, so goes the nation. As Jordan goes so go
the
bloody Israelites. The bridge, I mean. As Jordan goes, so goes the bloody
bridge, other
way around, really. “Give
me some more of that, Anselmo old boy,” he said. The old man nodded. “Almost through,”
Robert Jordan said. The old man nodded again. Finishing
wiring the grenades down, he no longer heard the firing from up the road. Suddenly
he was working only with the noise of the stream. He looked down and saw it boiling
up white below him through the boulders and then dropping down to a clear pebbled
pool where one of the wedges he had dropped swung around in the current. As he
looked a trout rose for some insect and made a circle on the surface close to
where the
chip was turning. As he twisted the wire tight with the pliers that held
these two grenades
in place, he saw, through the metal of the bridge, the sunlight on the green slope
of the mountain. It was brown three days ago, he thought. Out
from the cool dark under the bridge he leaned into the bright sun and shouted
to Anselmo’s
bending face, “Give me the big coil of wire.” The
old man handed it down. For
God’s sake don’t loosen them any yet. This will pull them. I wish you could
string them
through. But with the length of wire you are using it’s O.K., Robert Jordan
thought as
he felt the cotter pins that held the rings that would release the levers on
the hand grenades.
He checked that the grenades, lashed on their sides, had room for the levers to
spring when the pins were pulled (the wire that lashed them ran through under
the levers),
then he attached a length of wire to one ring, wired it onto the main wire
that ran to
the ring of the outside grenade, paid off some slack from the coil and passed
it around
a steel brace and then handed the coil up to Anselmo. “Hold it carefully,” he
said.
He
climbed up onto the bridge, took the coil from the old man and walked back as
fast as
he could pay out wire toward where the sentry was slumped in the road,
leaning over the
side of the bridge and paying out wire from the coil as he walked. “Bring
the sacks,” he shouted to Anselmo as he walked backwards. As he passed he stooped
down and picked up the submachine gun and slung it over his shoulder again. It
was then, looking up from paying out wire, that he saw, well up the road,
those who were
coming back from the upper post. There
were four of them, he saw, and then he had to watch his wire so it would be clear
and not foul against any of the outer work of the bridge. Eladio was not with
them. Robert
Jordan carried the wire clear past the end of the bridge, took a ioop around
the last
stanchion and then ran along the road until he stopped beside a stone marker.
He cut
the wire and handed it to Anselmo. “Hold
this, viejo,” he said. “Now walk back with me to the bridge. Take up on it as
you walk.
No. I will.” At
the bridge he pulled the wire back out through the hitch so it now ran clear
and unfouled
to the grenade rings and handed it, stretching alongside the bridge but
running quite
clear, to Anselmo. “Take
this back to that high stone,” he said. “Hold it easily but firmly. Do not
put any force
on it. When thou pullest hard, hard, the bridge will blow. Comprendes?” “Yes.”
“Treat
it softly but do not let it sag so it will foul. Keep it lightly firm but not
pulling until thou
pullest. Comprendes?” “Yes.”
“When
thou pullest really pull. Do not jerk.” Robert
Jordan while he spoke was looking up the road at the remainder of Pilar’s band.
They were close now and he saw Primitivo and Rafael were supporting Fernando.
He
looked to be shot through the groin for he was holding himself there with
both hands while
the man and the boy held him on either side. His right leg was dragging, the
side of
the shoe scraping on the road as they walked him. Pilar was climbing the bank
into the
timber carrying three rifles. Robert Jordan could not see her face but her
head was up
and she was climbing as fast as she could. “How
does it go?” Primitivo called. “Good.
We’re almost finished,” Robert Jordan shouted back. There
was no need to ask how it went with them. As he looked away the three were on
the edge of the road and Fernando was shaking his head as they tried to get
him up the
bank. “Give
me a rifle here,” Robert Jordan heard him say in a choky voice. “No,
hombre. We will get thee to the horses.” “What
would I do with a horse?” Fernando said. “I am very well here.” Robert
Jordan did not hear the rest for he was speaking to Anselmo. “Blow
it if tanks come,” he said. “But only if they come onto it. Blow it if
armored cars come.
If they come onto it. Anything else Pablo will stop.” “I
will not blow it with thee beneath it.” “Take
no account of me. Blow it if thou needest to. I fix the other wire and come
back. Then
we will blow it together.” He
started running for the center of the bridge. Anselmo
saw Robert Jordan run up the bridge, coil of wire over his arm, pliers hanging
from
one wrist and the submachine gun slung over his back. He saw him climb down under
the rail of the bridge and out of sight. Anselmo held the wire in his hand,
his right hand,
and he crouched behind the stone marker and looked down the road and across the
bridge. Halfway between him and the bridge was the sentry, who had settled
now closer
to the road, sinking closer onto the smooth road surface as the sun weighed
on his
back. His rifle, lying on the road, the bayonet fixed, pointed straight
toward Anselmo. The
old man looked past him along the surface of the bridge crossed by the
shadows of the
bridge rail to where the road swung to the left along the gorge and then
turned out of sight
behind the rocky wall. He looked at the far sentry box with the sun shining
on it and then,
conscious of the wire in his hand, he turned his head to where Fernando was speaking
to Primitivo and the gypsy. “Leave
me here,” Fernando said. “It hurts much and there is much hemorrhage inside. I
feel it in the inside when I move.” “Let
us get thee up the slope,” Primitivo said. “Put thy arms around our shoulders
and we
will take thy legs.” “It
is inutile,” Fernando said. “Put me here behind a stone. I am as useful here
as above.”
“But
when we go,” Primitivo said. “Leave
me here,” Fernando said. “There is no question of my travelling with this.
Thus it
gives one horse more. I am very well here. Certainly they will come soon.” “We
can take thee up the hill,” the gypsy said. “Easily.” He
was, naturally, in a deadly hurry to be gone, as was Primitivo. But they had
brought him
this far. “Nay,”
Fernando said. “I am very well here. What passes with Eladio?” The
gypsy put his finger on his head to show where the wound had been. “Here,”
he said. “After thee. When we made the rush.” “Leave
me,” Fernando said. Anselmo could see he was suffering much. He held both hands
against his groin now and put his head back against the bank, his legs
straight out
before him. His face was gray and sweating. “Leave
me now please, for a favor,” he said. His eyes were shut with pain, the edges
of
the lips twitching. “I find myself very well here.” “Here
is a rifle and cartridges,” Primitivo said. “Is
it mine?” Fernando asked, his eyes shut. “Nay,
the Pilar has thine,” Primitivo said. “This is mine.” “I
would prefer my own,” Fernando said. “I am more accustomed to it.” “I
will bring it to thee,” the gypsy lied to him. “Keep this until it comes.” “I
am in a very good position here,” Fernando said. “Both for up the road and
for the bridge.”
He opened his eyes, turned his head and looked across the bridge, then shut them
as the pain came. The
gypsy tapped his head and motioned with his thumb to Primitivo for them to be
off.
“Then
we will be down for thee,” Primitivo said and started up the slope after the gypsy,
who was climbing fast. Fernando
lay back against the bank. In front of him was one of the whitewashed stones
that marked the edge of the road. His head was in the shadow but the sun
shone on
his plugged and bandaged wound and on his hands that were cupped over it. His
legs
and his feet also were in the sun. The rifle lay beside him and there were
three clips of
cartridges shining in the sun beside the rifle. A fly crawled on his hands
but the small tickling
did not come through the pain. “Fernando!”
Anselmo called to him from where he crouched, holding the wire. He had made
a loop in the end of the wire and twisted it close so he could hold it in his
fist. “Fernando!”
he called again. Fernando
opened his eyes and looked at him. “How
does it go?” Fernando asked. “Very
good,” Anselmo said. “Now in a minute we will be blowing it.” “I
am pleased. Anything you need me for advise me,” Fernando said and shut his
eyes again
and the pain lurched in him. Anselmo
looked away from him and out onto the bridge. He
was watching for the first sight of the coil of wire being handed up onto the
bridge and
for the Inglés’s sunburnt head and face to follow it as he would pull himself
up the side.
At the same time he was watching beyond the bridge for anything to come
around the
far corner of the road. He did not feel afraid now at all and he had not been
afraid all the
day. It goes so fast and it is so normal, he thought. I hated the shooting of
the guard and
it made me an emotion but that is passed now. How could the Inglés say that
the shooting
of a man is like the shooting of an animal? In all hunting I have had an
elation and
no feeling of wrong. But to shoot a man gives a feeling as though one had
struck one’s
own brother when you are grown men. And to shoot him various times to kill
him. Nay,
do not think of that. That gave thee too much emotion and thee ran blubbering
down
the bridge like a woman. That
is over, he told himself, and thou canst try to atone for it as for the
others. But now
thou has what thou asked for last night coming home across the hills. Thou
art in battle
and thou hast no problem. If I die on this morning now it is all right. Then
he looked at Fernando lying there against the bank with his hands cupped over
the
groove of his hip, his lips blue, his eyes tight shut, breathing heavily and
slowly, and he
thought, If I die may it be quickly. Nay I said I would ask nothing more if I
were granted
what I needed for today. So I will not ask. Understand? I ask nothing.
Nothing in any
way. Give me what I asked for and I leave all the rest according to
discretion. He
listened to the noise that came, far away, of the battle at the pass and he
said to himself,
Truly this is a great day. I should realize and know what a day this is. But
there was no lift or any excitement in his heart. That was all gone and there
was nothing
but a calmness. And now, as he crouched behind the marker stone with the looped
wire in his hand and another loop of it around his wrist and the gravel
beside the road
under his knees he was not lonely nor did he feel in any way alone. He was
one with
the wire in his hand and one with the bridge, and one with the charges the
Inglés had
placed. He was one with the Inglés still working under the bridge and he was
one with
all of the battle and with the Republic. But
there was no excitement. It was all calm now and the sun beat down on his
neck and
on his shoulders as he crouched and as he looked up he saw the high,
cloudless sky
and the slope of the mountain rising beyond the river and he was not happy
but he was
neither lonely nor afraid. Up
the hill slope Pilar lay behind a tree watching the road that came down from
the pass.
She had three loaded rifles by her and she handed one to Primitivo as he
dropped down
beside her. “Get
down there,” she said. “Behind that tree. Thou, gypsy, over there,” she
pointed to another
tree below. “Is he dead?” “Nay.
Not yet,” Primitivo said. “It
was bad luck,” Pilar said. “If we had had two more it need not have happened.
He should
have crawled around the sawdust pile. Is he all right there where he is?” Primitivo
shook his head. “When
the Inglés blows the bridge will fragments come this far?” the gypsy asked
from behind
his tree. “I
don’t know,” Pilar said. “But Agustín with the máquina is closer than thee.
The Inglés would
not have placed him there if it were too close.” “But
I remember with the blowing of the train the lamp of the engine blew by over
my head
and pieces of steel flew by like swallows.” “Thou
hast poetic memories,” Pilar said. “Like swallows. Joder! They were like wash
boilers.
Listen, gypsy, thou hast comported thyself well today. Now do not let thy
fear catch
up with thee.” “Well,
I only asked if it would blow this far so I might keep well behind the tree
trunk,” the
gypsy said. “Keep
it thus,” Pilar told him. “How many have we killed?” “Pues
five for us. Two here. Canst thou not see the other at the far end? Look
there toward
the bridge. See the box? Look! Dost see?” He pointed. “Then there were eight below
for Pablo. I watched that post for the Inglés.” Pilar
grunted. Then she said violently and raging, “What passes with that Inglés?
What is
he obscenitying off under that bridge. Vaya mandanga! Is he building a bridge
or blowing
one?” She
raised her head and looked down at Anselmo crouched behind the stone marker. “Hey,
viejo!” she shouted. “What passes with thy obscenity of an Inglés?” “Patience,
woman,” Anselmo called up, holding the wire lightly but firmly. “He is terminating
his work.” “But
what in the name of the great whore does he take so much time about?” “Es muy concienzudo!” Anselmo shouted. “It
is a scientific labor.” “I
obscenity in the milk of science,” Pilar raged to the gypsy. “Let the
filth-faced obscenity
blow it and be done. Maria!” she shouted in her deep voice up the hill. “Thy Inglés—”
and she shouted a flood of obscenity about Jordan’s imaginary actions under the
bridge. “Calm
yourself, woman,” Anselmo called from the road. “He is doing an enormous work.
He is finishing it now.” “The
hell with it,” Pilar raged. “It is speed that counts.” Just
then they all heard firing start down the road where Pablo was holding the
post he had
taken. Pilar stopped cursing and listened. “Ay,” she said. “Ayee. Ayee.
That’s it.” Robert
Jordan heard it as he swung the coil of wire up onto the bridge with one hand
and
then pulled himself up after it. As his knees rested on the edge of the iron
of the bridge
and his hands were on the surface he heard the machine gun firing around the bend
below. It was a different sound from Pablo’s automatic rifle. He got to his
feet, leaned
over, passed his coil of wire clear and commenced to pay out wire as he
walked backwards
and sideways along the bridge. He
heard the firing and as he walked he felt it in the pit of his stomach as
though it echoed
on his own diaphragm. It was closer now as he walked and he looked back at the
bend of the road. But it was still clear of any car, or tank or men. It was
still clear when
he was halfway to the end of the bridge. It was still clear when he was three
quarters
of the way, his wire running clear and unfouled, and it was still clear as he
climbed
around behind the sentry box, holding his wire out to keep it from catching
on the
iron work. Then he was on the road and it was still clear below on the road
and then he
was moving fast backwards up the little washed-out gully by the lower side of
the road
as an outfielder goes backwards for a long fly ball, keeping the wire taut,
and now he
was almost opposite Anselmo’s stone and it was still clear below the bridge. Then
he heard the truck coming down the road and he saw it over his shoulder just coming
onto the long slope and he swung his wrist once around the wire and yelled to
Anselmo,
“Blow her!” and he dug his heels in and leaned back hard onto the tension of the
wire with a turn of it around his wrist and the noise of the truck was coming
behind and
ahead there was the road with the dead sentry and the long bridge and the
stretch of
road below, still clear and then there was a cracking roar and the middle of
the bridge rose
up in the air like a wave breaking and he felt the blast from the explosion
roll back against
him as he dove on his face in the pebbly gully with his hands holding tight
over his
head. His face was down against the pebbles as the bridge settled where it
had risen and
the familiar yellow smell of it rolled over him in acrid smoke and then it
commenced to
rain pieces of steel. After
the steel stopped falling he was still alive and he raised his head and
looked across
the bridge. The center section of it was gone. There were jagged pieces of
steel on
the bridge with their bright, new torn edges and ends and these were all over
the road.
The truck had stopped up the road about a hundred yards. The driver and the
two men
who had been with him were running toward a culvert. Fernando
was still lying against the bank and he was still breathing. His arms
straight by
his sides, his hands relaxed. Anselmo
lay face down behind the white marking stone. His left arm was doubled under
his head and his right arm was stretched straight out. The loop of wire was
still around
his right fist. Robert Jordan got to his feet, crossed the road, knelt by him
and made
sure that he was dead. He did not turn him over to see what the piece of
steel had done.
He was dead and that was all. He
looked very small, dead, Robert Jordan thought. He looked small and
gray-headed and
Robert Jordan thought, I wonder how he ever carried such big loads if that is
the size
he really was. Then he saw the shape of the calves and the thighs in the
tight, gray herdsman’s
breeches and the worn soles of the rope-soled shoes and he picked up Anselmo’s
carbine and the two sacks, practically empty now and went over and picked up
the rifle that lay beside Fernando. He kicked a jagged piece of steel off the
surface of the
road. Then he swung the two rifles over his shoulder, holding them by the
muzzles, and
started up the slope into the timber. He did not look back nor did he even
look across
the bridge at the road. They were still firing around the bend below but he
cared nothing
about that now. He
was coughing from the TNT fumes and he felt numb all through himself. He
put one of the rifles down by Pilar where she lay behind the tree. She looked
and saw
that made three rifles that she had again. “You
are too high up here,” he said. “There’s a truck up the road where you can’t
see it.
They thought it was planes. You better get farther down. I’m going down with
Agustín to
cover Pablo.” “The
old one?” she asked him, looking at his face. “Dead.”
He
coughed again, wrackingly, and spat on the ground. “Thy
bridge is blown, Inglés,” Pilar looked at him. “Don’t forget that.” “I
don’t forget anything,” he said. “You have a big voice,” he said to Pilar. “I
have heard thee
bellow. Shout up to the Maria and tell her that I am all right.” “We
lost two at the sawmill,” Pilar said, trying to make him understand. “So
I saw,” Robert Jordan said. “Did you do something stupid?” “Go
and obscenity thyself, Inglés,” Pilar said. “Fernando and Eladio were men,
too.” “Why
don’t you go up with the horses?” Robert Jordan said. “I can cover here
better than
thee.” “Thou
art to cover Pablo.” “The
hell with Pablo. Let him cover himself with mierda.” “Nay,
Inglés. He came back. He has fought much below there. Thou hast not listened?
He
is fighting now. Against something bad. Do you not hear?” “I’ll
cover him. But obscenity all of you. Thou and Pablo both.” “Inglés,”
Pilar said. “Calm thyself. I have been with thee in this as no one could be. Pablo
did thee a wrong but he returned.” “If
I had had the exploder the old man would not have been killed. I could have
blown it
from here.” “If,
if, if—” Pilar said. The
anger and the emptiness and the hate that had come with the let-down after
the bridge,
when he had looked up from where he had lain and crouching, seen Anselmo dead,
were still all through him. In him, too, was despair from the sorrow that
soldiers turn
to hatred in order that they may continue to be soldiers. Now it was over he
was lonely,
detached and unelated and he hated every one he saw. “If
there had been no snow—” Pilar said. And then, not suddenly, as a physical release
could have been (if the woman would have put her arm around him, say) but slowly
and from his head he began to accept it and let the hate go out. Sure, the
snow. That
had done it. The snow. Done itto others. Once you saw it again as it was to
others, once
you got rid of your own self, the always ridding of self that you had to do
in war. Where
there could be no self. Where yourself is only to be lost. Then, from his
losing of it,
he heard Pilar say, “Sordo—” “What?”
he said. “Sordo—”
“Yes,”
Robert Jordan said. He grinned at her, a cracked, stiff,
too-tightened-facial- tendoned
grin. “Forget it. I was wrong. I am sorry, woman. Let us do this well and all
together.
And the bridge is blown, as thou sayest.” “Yes.
Thou must think of things in their place.” “Then
I go now to Agustín. Put thy gypsy much farther down so that he can see well up
the road. Give those guns to Primitivo and take this máquina. Let me show
thee.” “Keep
the máquina,” Pilar said. “We will not be here any time. Pablo should come
now and
we will be going.” “Rafael,”
Robert Jordan said, “come down here with me. Here. Good. See those coming
out of the culvert. There, above the truck? Coming toward the truck? Hit me
one of
those. Sit. Take it easy.” The
gypsy aimed carefully and fired and as he jerked the bolt back and ejected
the shell
Robert Jordan said, “Over. You threw against the rock above. See the rock
dust? Lower,
by two feet. Now, careful. They’re running. Good. Sigue tirando.” “I
got one,” the gypsy said. The man was down in the road halfway between the culvert
and the truck. The other two did not stop to drag him. They ran for the
culvert and
ducked in. “Don’t
shoot at him,” Robert Jordan said. “Shoot for the top part of a front tire on
the truck.
So if you miss you’ll hit the engine. Good.” He watched with the glasses. “A
little lower.
Good. You shoot like hell. Mucho! Mucho! Shoot me the top of the radiator. Anywhere
on the radiator. Thou art a champion. Look. Don’t let anything come past that
point
there. See?” “Watch
me break the windshield in the truck,” the gypsy said happily. “Nay.
The truck is already sick,” Robert Jordan said. “Hold thy fire until anything
comes
down the road. Start firing when it is opposite the culvert. Try to hit the
driver. That
you all should fire, then,” he spoke to Pilar who had come farther down the
slope with
Primitivo. “You are wonderfully placed here. See how that steepness guards
thy flank?”
“That
you should get about thy business with Agustín,” Pilar said. “Desist from thy
lecture.
I have seen terrain in my time.” “Put
Primitivo farther up there,” Robert Jordan said. “There. See, man? This side
of where
the bank steepens.” “Leave
me,” said Pilar. “Get along, Inglés. Thou and thy perfection. Here there is
no problem.”
Just
then they heard the planes. Maria
had been with the horses for a long time, but they were no comfort to her.
Nor was
she any to them. From where she was in the forest she could not see the road
nor could
she see the bridge and when the firing started she put her arm around the
neck of the
big white-faced bay stallion that she had gentled and brought gifts to many
times when
the horses had been in the corral in the trees below the camp. But her nervousness
made the big stallion nervous, too, and he jerked his head, his nostrils widening
at the firing and the noise of the bombs. Maria could not keep still and she walked
around patting and gentling the horses and making them all more nervous and agitated.
She
tried to think of the firing not as just a terrible thing that was happening,
but to realize
that it was Pablo below with the new men, and Pilar with the others above,
and that
she must not worry nor get into a panic but must have confidence in Roberto.
But she
could not do this and all the firing above and below the bridge and the
distant sound of
the battle that rolled down from the pass like the noise of a far-off storm
with a dried, rolling
rattle in it and the irregular beat of the bombs was simply a horrible thing
that almost
kept her from breathing. Then
later she heard Pilar’s big voice from away below on the hillside shouting up
some
obscenity to her that she could not understand and she thought, Oh, God no,
no. Don’t
talk like that with him in peril. Don’t offend any one and make useless
risks. Don’t give
any provocation. Then
she commenced to pray for Roberto quickly and automatically as she had done at
school, saying the prayers as fast as she could and counting them on the
fingers of her
left hand, praying by tens of each of the two prayers she was repeating. Then
the bridge
blew and one horse snapped his halter when he rose and jerked his head at the
cracking
roar and he went off through the trees. Maria caught him finally and brought him
back, shivering, trembling, his chest dark with sweat, the saddle down, and
coming back
through the trees she heard shooting below and she thought I cannot stand
this longer.
I cannot live not knowing any longer. I cannot breathe and my mouth is so
dry. And
I am afraid and I am no good and I frighten the horses and only caught this
horse by
hazard because he knocked the saddle down against a tree and caught himself kicking
into the stirrups and now as I get the saddle up, Oh, God, I do not know. I
cannot bear
it. Oh please have him be all right for all my heart and all of me is at the
bridge. The
Republic is one thing and we must win is another thing. But, Oh, Sweet
Blessed Virgin,
bring him back to me from the bridge and I will do anything thou sayest ever.
Because
I am not here. There isn’t any me. I am only with him. Take care of him for
me and
that will be me and then I will do the things for thee and he will not mind.
Nor will it be
against the Republic. Oh, please forgive me for I am very confused. I am too confused
now. But if thou takest care of him I will do whatever is right. I will do
what he says
and what you say. With the two of me I will do it. But this now not knowing I
cannot endure.
Then,
the horse tied again, she with the saddle up now, the blanket smoothed,
hauling tight
on the cinch she heard the big, deep voice from the timber below, “Maria!
Maria! Thy
Inglés is all right. Hear me? All right. Sin Novedad!” Maria
held the saddle with both hands and pressed her cropped head hard against it and
cried. She heard the deep voice shouting again and she turned from the saddle
and shouted,
choking, “Yes! Thank you!” Then, choking again, “Thank you! Thank you very much!”
When
they heard the planes they all looked up and the planes were coming from Segovia
very high in the sky, silvery in the high sky, their drumming rising over all
the other
sounds. “Those!”
Pilar said. “There has only lacked those!” Robert
Jordan put his arm on her shoulders as he watched them. “Nay, woman,” he said.
“Those do not come for us. Those have no time for us. Calm thyself.” “I
hate them.” “Me
too. But now I must go to Agustín.” He
circled the hillside through the pines and all the time there was the
throbbing, drumming
of the planes and across the shattered bridge on the road below, around the bend
of the road there was the intermittent hammering fire of a heavy machine gun.
Robert
Jordan dropped down to where Agustín lay in the clump of scrub pines behind the
automatic rifle and more planes were coming all the time. “What
passes below?” Agustín said. “What is Pablo doing? Doesn’t he know the bridge
is gone?” “Maybe
he can’t leave.” “Then
let us leave. The hell with him.” “He
will come now if he is able,” Robert Jordan said. “We should see him now.” “I
have not heard him,” Agustín said. “Not for five minutes. No. There! Listen!
There he is.
That’s him.” There
was a burst of the spot-spot-spotting fire of the cavalry submachine gun,
then another,
then another. “That’s
the bastard,” Robert Jordan said. He
watched still more planes coming over in the high cloudless blue sky and he watched
Agustín’s face as he looked up at them. Then he looked down at the shattered bridge
and across to the stretch of road which still was clear. He coughed and spat
and listened
to the heavy machine gun hammer again below the bend. It sounded to be in the
same place that it was before. “And
what’s that?” Agustín asked. “What the unnameable is that?” “It
has been going since before I blew the bridge,” Robert Jordan said. He looked
down
at the bridge now and he could see the stream through the torn gap where the center
had fallen, hanging like a bent steel apron. He heard the first of the planes
that had
gone over now bombing up above at the pass and more were still coming. The noise
of their motors filled all the high sky and looking up he saw their pursuit,
minute and
tiny, circling and wheeling high above them. “I
don’t think they ever crossed the lines the other morning,” Primitivo said.
“They must have
swung off to the west and then come back. They could not be making an attack
if they
had seen these.” “Most of these are new,” Robert Jordan said.
He
had the feeling of something that had started normally and had then brought
great, outsized,
giant repercussions. It was as though you had thrown a stone and the stone made
a ripple and the ripple returned roaring and toppling as a tidal wave. Or as
though you
shouted and the echo came back in rolls and peals of thunder, and the thunder
was deadly.
Or as though you struck one man and he fell and as far as you could see other
men
rose up all armed and armored. He was glad he was not with Golz up at the
pass. Lying
there, by Agustín, watching the planes going over, listening for firing
behind him, watching
the road below where he knew he would see something but not what it would be,
he still felt numb with the surprise that he had not been killed at the
bridge. He had accepted
being killed so completely that all of this now seemed unreal. Shake out of that,
he said to himself. Get rid of that. There is much, much, much to be done
today. But
it would not leave him and he felt, consciously, all of this becoming like a
dream. “You
swallowed too much of that smoke,” he told himself. But he knew it was not
that. He
could feel, solidly, how unreal it all was through the absolute reality and
he looked down
at the bridge and then back to the sentry lying on the road, to where Anselmo
lay, to
Fernando against the bank and back up the smooth, brown road to the stalled
truck and
still it was unreal. “You
better sell out your part of you quickly,” he told himself. “You’re like one
of those cocks
in the pit where nobody has seen the wound given and it doesn’t show and he
is already
going cold with it.” “Nuts,”
he said to himself. “You are a little groggy is all, and you have a let-down
after responsibility,
is all. Take it easy.” Then
Agustín grabbed his arm and pointed and he looked across the gorge and saw Pablo.
They
saw Pablo come running around the corner of the bend in the road. At the
sheer rock
where the road went out of sight they saw him stop and lean against the rock
and fire
back up the road. Robert Jordan saw Pablo, short, heavy and stocky, his cap
gone, leaning
against the rock wall and firing the short cavalry automatic rifle and he
could see the
bright flicker of the cascading brass hulls as the sun caught them. They saw
Pablo crouch
and fire another burst. Then, without looking back, he came running, short, bowlegged,
fast, his head bent down straight toward the bridge. Robert
Jordan had pushed Agustín over and he had the stock of the big automatic
rifle against
his shoulder and was sighting on the bend of the road. His own submachine gun
lay
by his left hand. It was not accurate enough for that range. As
Pablo came toward them Robert Jordan sighted on the bend but nothing came. Pablo
had reached the bridge, looked over his shoulder once, glanced at the bridge,
and then
turned to his left and gone down into the gorge and out of sight. Robert
Jordan was still
watching the bend and nothing had come in sight. Agustín got up on one knee.
He could
see Pablo climbing down into the gorge like a goat. There had been no noise
of firing
below since they had first seen Pablo. “You
see anything up above? On the rocks above?” Robert Jordan asked. “Nothing.”
Robert
Jordan watched the bend of the road. He knew the wall just below that was too
steep
for any one to climb but below it eased and some one might have circled up above.
If
things had been unreal before, they were suddenly real enough now. It was as though
a reflex lens camera had been suddenly brought into focus. It was then he saw
the
low-bodied, angled snout and squat green, gray and brown-splashed turret with
the projecting
machine gun come around the bend into the bright sun. He fired on it and he could
hear the spang against the steel. The little whippet tank scuttled back
behind the rock
wall. Watching the corner, Robert Jordan saw the nose just reappear, then the
edge
of the turret showed and the turret swung so that the gun was pointing down
the road.
“It
seems like a mouse coming out of his hole,” Agustín said. “Look, Inglés.” “He has little confidence,” Robert Jordan
said. “This
is the big insect Pablo has been fighting,” Agustín said. “Hit him again,
Inglés.” “Nay.
I cannot hurt him. I don’t want him to see where we are.” The
tank commenced to fire down the road. The bullets hit the road surface and
sung off
and now they were pinging and clanging in the iron of the bridge. It was the
same machine
gun they had heard below. “Cabrón!”
Agustín said. “Is that the famous tanks, Inglés?” “That’s
a baby one.” “Cabrón.
If I had a baby bottle full of gasoline I would climb up there and set fire
to him.
What will he do, Inglés?” “After
a while he will have another look.” “And
these are what men fear,” Agustín said. “Look, Inglés! He’s rekilling the
sentries.” “Since
he has no other target,” Robert Jordan said. “Do not reproach him.” But
he was thinking, Sure, make fun of him. But suppose it was you, way back here
in your
own country and they held you up with firing on the main road. Then a bridge
was blown.
Wouldn’t you think it was mined ahead or that there was a trap? Sure you
would. He’s
done all right. He’s waiting for something else to come up. He’s engaging the
enemy.
It’s only us. But he can’t tell that. Look at the little bastard. The
little tank had nosed a little farther around the corner. Just
then Agustín saw Pablo coming over the edge of the gorge, pulling himself
over on
hands and knees, his bristly face running with sweat. “Here
comes the son of a bitch,” he said. “Who?”
“Pablo.”
Robert
Jordan looked, saw Pablo, and then he commenced firing at the part of the camouflaged
turret of the tank where he knew the slit above the machine gun would be. The
little tank whirred backwards, scuttling out of sight and Robert Jordan
picked up the automatic
rifle, clamped the tripod against the barrel and swung the gun with its still
hot muzzle
over his shoulder. The muzzle was so hot it burned his shoulder and he shoved
it
far behind him turning the stock flat in his hand. “Bring
the sack of pans and my little máquina,” he shouted, “and come running.” Robert
Jordan ran up the hill through the pines. Agustín was close behind him and behind
him Pablo was coming. “Pilar!”
Jordan shouted across the hill. “Come on, woman!” The
three of them were going as fast as they could up the steep slope. They could
not run
any more because the grade was too severe and Pablo, who had no load but the light
cavalry submachine gun, had closed up with the other two. “And
thy people?” Agustín said to Pablo out of his dry mouth. “All
dead,” Pablo said. He was almost unable to breathe. Agustín turned his head
and looked
at him. “We
have plenty of horses now, Inglés,” Pablo panted. “Good,”
Robert Jordan said. The murderous bastard, he thought. “What did you encounter?”
“Everything,”
Pablo said. He was breathing in lunges. “What passed with Pilar?” “She
lost Fernando and the brother—” “Eladio,”
Agustín said. “And
thou?” Pablo asked. “I
lost Anselmo.” “There
are lots of horses,” Pablo said. “Even for the baggage.” Agustín
bit his lip, looked at Robert Jordan and shook his head. Below them, out of sight
through the trees, they heard the tank firing on the road and bridge again. Robert
Jordan jerked his head. “What passed with that?” he said to Pablo. He did not
like
to look at Pablo, nor to smell him, but he wanted to hear him. “I
could not leave with that there,” Pablo said. “We were barricaded at the
lower bend of
the post. Finally it went back to look for something and I came.” “What were you shooting at, at the bend?”
Agustín asked bluntly. Pablo
looked at him, started to grin, thought better of it, and said nothing. “Did
you shoot them all?” Agustín asked. Robert Jordan was thinking, keep your mouth
shut. It is none of your business now. They have done all that you could
expect and
more. This is an intertribal matter. Don’t make moral judgments. What do you expect
from a murderer? You’re working with a murderer. Keep your mouth shut. You knew
enough about him before. This is nothing new. But you dirty bastard, he
thought. You
dirty, rotten bastard. His
chest was aching with climbing as though it would split after the running and
ahead
now through the trees he saw the horses. “Go
ahead,” Agustín was saying. “Why do you not say you shot them?” “Shut
up,” Pablo said. “I have fought much today and well. Ask the Inglés.” “And
now get us through today,” Robert Jordan said. “For it is thee who has the
plan for
this.” “I
have a good plan,” Pablo said. “With a little luck we will be all right.” He
was beginning to breathe better. “You’re
not going to kill any of us, are you?” Agustín said. “For I will kill thee
now.” “Shut
up,” Pablo said. “I have to look after thy interest and that of the band.
This is war.
One cannot do what one would wish.” “Cabrón,”
said Agustín. “You take all the prizes.” “Tell
me what thou encountered below,” Robert Jordan said to Pablo. “Everything,”
Pablo repeated. He was still breathing as though it were tearing his chest but
he could talk steadily now and his face and head were running with sweat and
his shoulders
and chest were soaked with it. He looked at Robert Jordan cautiously to see
if he
were really friendly and then he grinned. “Everything,” he said again. “First
we took the
post. Then came a motorcyclist. Then another. Then an ambulance. Then a
camion. Then
the tank. Just before thou didst the bridge.” “Then—”
“The
tank could not hurt us but we could not leave for it commanded the road. Then
it went
away and I came.” “And
thy people?” Agustín put in, still looking for trouble. “Shut
up,” Pablo looked at him squarely, and his face was the face of a man who had
fought
well before any other thing had happened. “They were not of our band.” Now
they could see the horses tied to the trees, the sun coming down on them through
the pine branches and them tossing their heads and kicking against the
botflies and
Robert Jordan saw Maria and the next thing he was holding her tight, tight,
with the automatic
rifle leaning against his side, the flash-cone pressing against his ribs and Maria
saying, “Thou, Roberto. Oh, thou.” “Yes,
rabbit. My good, good rabbit. Now we go.” “Art
thou here truly?” “Yes.
Yes. Truly. Oh, thou!” He
had never thought that you could know that there was a woman if there was
battle; nor
that any part of you could know it, or respond to it; nor that if there was a
woman that
she should have breasts small, round and tight against you through a shirt;
nor that they,
the breasts, could know about the two of them in battle. But it was true and
he thought,
good. That’s good. I would not have believed that and he held her to him once
hard,
hard, but he did not look at her, and then he slapped her where he never had slapped
her and said, “Mount. Mount. Get on that saddle, guapa.” Then
they were untying the halters and Robert Jordan had given the automatic rifle
back
to Agustín and slung his own submachine gun over his back, and he was putting
bombs
out of his pockets into the saddlebags, and he stuffed one empty pack inside
the other
and tied that one behind his saddle. Then Pilar came up, so breathless from
the climb
she could not talk, but only motioned. Then
Pablo stuffed three hobbles he had in his hand into a saddlebag, stood up and
said,
“Qué tal, woman?” and she only nodded, and then they were all mounting. Robert Jordan was on the big gray he had
first seen in the snow of the morning of the day
before and he felt that it was much horse between his legs and under his
hands. He was
wearing rope-soled shoes and the stirrups were a little too short; his
submachine gun
was slung over his shoulder, his pockets were full of clips and he was
sitting reloading
the one used clip, the reins under one arm, tight, watching Pilar mount into
a strange
sort of seat on top of the duffle lashed onto the saddle of the buckskin. “Cut
that stuff loose for God’s sake,” Primitivo said. “Thou wilt fall and the
horse cannot
carry it.” “Shut
up,” said Pilar. “We go to make a life with this.” “Canst
ride like that, woman?” Pablo asked her from the guardia civil saddle on the great
bay horse. “Like
any milk peddler,” Pilar told him. “How do you go, old one?” “Straight
down. Across the road. Up the far slope and into the timber where it narrows.”
“Across
the road?” Agustín wheeled beside him, kicking his soft-heeled, canvas shoes against
the stiff, unresponding belly of one of the horses Pablo had recruited in the
night.
“Yes,
man. It is the only way,” Pablo said. He handed him one of the lead ropes. Primitivo
and the gypsy had the others. “Thou
canst come at the end if thou will, Inglés,” Pablo said. “We cross high
enough to be
out of range of that máquina. But we will go separately and riding much and
then be together
where it narrows above.” “Good,”
said Robert Jordan. They
rode down through the timber toward the edge of the road. Robert Jordan rode just
behind Maria. He could not ride beside her for the timber. He caressed the
gray once
with his thigh muscles, and then held him steady as they dropped down fast
and sliding
through the pines, telling the gray with his thighs as they dropped down what
the spurs
would have told him if they had been on level ground. “Thou,”
he said to Maria, “go second as they cross the road. First is not so bad
though it
seems bad. Second is good. It is later that they are always watching for.” “But
thou—” “I
will go suddenly. There will be no problem. It is the places in line that are
bad.” He
was watching the round, bristly head of Pablo, sunk in his shoulders as he
rode, his
automatic rifle slung over his shoulder. He was watching Pilar, her head
bare, her shoulders
broad, her knees higher than her thighs as her heels hooked into the bundles.
She
looked back at him once and shook her head. “Pass
the Pilar before you cross the road,” Robert Jordan said to Maria. Then
he was looking through the thinning trees and he saw the oiled dark of the
road below
and beyond it the green slope of the hillside. We are above the culvert, he
saw, and
just below the height where the road drops down straight toward the bridge in
that long
sweep. We are around eight hundred yards above the bridge. That is not out of
range
for the Fiat in that little tank if they have come up to the bridge. “Maria,”
he said. “Pass the Pilar before we reach the road and ride wide up that
slope.” She
looked back at him but did not say anything. He did not look at her except to
see that
she had understood. “Comprendes?”
he asked her. She
nodded. “Move
up,” he said. She
shook her head. “Move
up!” “Nay,”
she told him, turning around and shaking her head. “I go in the order that I
am to
go.” Just
then Pablo dug both his spurs into the big bay and he plunged down the last
pine- needled
slope and cross the road in a pounding, sparking of shod hooves. The others came
behind him and Robert Jordan saw them crossing the road and slamming on up the
green slope and heard the machine gun hammer at the bridge. Then he heard a noise
come sweeeish-crack-boom! The boom was a sharp crack that widened in the cracking
and on the hillside he saw a small fountain of earth rise with a plume of
gray smoke.
Sweeish-crack-boom! It came again, the swishing like the noise of a rocket
and there
was another up-pulsing of dirt and smoke farther up the hillside. Ahead
of him the gypsy was stopped beside the road in the shelter of the last
trees. He
looked ahead at the slope and then he looked back toward Robert Jordan. “Go
ahead, Rafael,” Robert Jordan said. “Gallop, man!” The
gypsy was holding the lead rope with the pack-horse pulling his head taut
behind him.
“Drop
the pack-horse and gallop!” Robert Jordan said. He
saw the gypsy’s hand extended behind him, rising higher and higher, seeming
to take
forever as his heels kicked into the horse he was riding and the rope came
taut, then
dropped, and he was across the road and Robert Jordan was kneeing against a frightened
packhorse that bumped back into him as the gypsy crossed the hard, dark road
and he heard his horse’s hooves clumping as he galloped up the slope. Wheeeeeeish-ca-rack!
The flat trajectory of the shell came and he saw the gypsy jink like
a running boar as the earth spouted the little black and gray geyser ahead of
him. He
watched him galloping, slow and reaching now, up the long green slope and the
gun threw
behind him and ahead of him and he was under the fold of the hill with the
others. I
can’t take the damned pack-horse, Robert Jordan thought. Though I wish I
could keep
the son of a bitch on my off side. I’d like to have him between me and that
47 mm. they’re
throwing with. By God, I’ll try to get him up there anyway. He
rode up to the pack-horse, caught hold of the hackamore, and then, holding
the rope,
the horse trotting behind him, rode fifty yards up through the trees. At the
edge of the
trees he looked down the road past the truck to the bridge. He could see men
out on the
bridge and behind it looked like a traffic jam on the road. Robert Jordan
looked around,
saw what he wanted finally and reached up and broke a dead limb from a pine tree.
He dropped the hackamore, edged the pack-horse up to the slope that slanted down
to the road and then hit him hard across the rump with the tree branch. “Go
on, you
son of a bitch,” he said, and threw the dead branch after him as the
pack-horse crossed
the road and started across the slope. The branch hit him and the horse broke
from
a run into a gallop. Robert
Jordan rode thirty yards farther up the road; beyond that the bank was too steep.
The gun was firing now with the rocket whish and the cracking, dirt-spouting boom.
“Come on, you big gray fascist bastard,” Robert Jordan said to the horse and
put him
down the slope in a sliding plunge. Then he was out in the open, over the
road that was
so hard under the hooves he felt the pound of it come up all the way to his shoulders,
his neck and his teeth, onto the smooth of the slope, the hooves finding it, cutting
it, pounding it, reaching, throwing, going, and he looked down across the
slope to where
the bridge showed now at a new angle he had never seen. It crossed in profile
now
without foreshortening and in the center was the broken place and behind it
on the road
was the little tank and behind the little tank was a big tank with a gun that
flashed now
yellow-bright as a mirror and the screech as the air ripped apart seemed
almost over
the gray neck that stretched ahead of him, and he turned his head as the dirt
fountained
up the hillside. The pack-horse was ahead of him swinging too far to the
right and
slowing down and Robert Jordan, galloping, his head turned a little toward
the bridge,
saw the line of trucks halted behind the turn that showed now clearly as he
was gaining
height, and he saw the bright yellow flash that signalled the instant whish
and boom,
and the shell fell short, but he heard the metal sailing from where the dirt
rose. He
saw them all ahead in the edge of the timber watching him and he said, “Arre caballo!
Go on, horse!” and felt his big horse’s chest surging with the steepening of
the slope
and saw the gray neck stretching and the gray ears ahead and he reached and patted
the wet gray neck, and he looked back at the bridge and saw the bright flash
from the
heavy, squat, mud-colored tank there on the road and then he did not hear any
whish
but only a banging acrid smelling clang like a boiler being ripped apart and
he was
under the gray horse and the gray horse was kicking and he was trying to pull
out from
under the weight. He
could move all right. He could move toward the right. But his left leg stayed
perfectly
flat under the horse as he moved to the right. It was as though there was a
new joint
in it; not the hip joint but another one that went sideways like a hinge.
Then he knew
what it was all right and just then the gray horse knee-ed himself up and
Robert Jordan’s
right leg, that had kicked the stirrup loose just as it should, slipped clear
over the
saddle and came down beside him and he felt with his two hands of his thigh
bone where
the left leg lay flat against the ground and his hands both felt the sharp
bone and where
it pressed against the skin. The
gray horse was standing almost over him and he could see his ribs heaving.
The grass
was green where he sat and there were meadow flowers in it and he looked down
the
slope across to the road and the bridge and the gorge and the road and saw
the tank
and waited for the next flash. It came almost at once with again no whish and
in the burst
of it, with the smell of the high explosive, the dirt clods scattering and
the steel whirring
off, he saw the big gray horse sit quietly down beside him as though it were
a horse
in a circus. And then, looking at the horse sitting there, he heard the sound
the horse
was making. Then
Primitivo and Agustín had him under the armpits and were dragging him up the last
slope and the new joint in his leg let it swing any way the ground swung it.
Once a shell
whished close over them and they dropped him and fell flat, but the dirt
scattered over
them and and the metal sung off and they picked him up again. And then they
had him
up to the shelter of the long draw in the timber where the horses were, and
Maria, Pilar
and Pablo were standing over him. Maria
was kneeling by him and saying, “Roberto, what hast thou?” He
said, sweating heavily, “The left leg is broken, guapa.” “We
will bind it up,” Pilar said. “Thou canst ride that.” She pointed to one of
the horses that
was packed. “Cut off the load.” Robert
Jordan saw Pablo shake his head and he nodded at him. “Get
along,” he said. Then he said, “Listen, Pablo. Come here.” The
sweat-streaked, bristly face bent down by him and Robert Jordan smelt the
full smell
of Pablo. “Let
us speak,” he said to Pilar and Maria. “I have to speak to Pablo.” “Does
it hurt much?” Pablo asked. He was bending close over Robert Jordan. “No.
I think the nerve is crushed. Listen. Get along. I am mucked, see? I will
talk to the girl
for a moment. When I say to take her, take her. She will want to stay. I will
only speak
to her for a moment.” “Clearly,
there is not much time,” Pablo said. “Clearly.”
“I
think you would do better in the Republic,” Robert Jordan said. “Nay.
I am for Gredos.” “Use
thy head.” “Talk
to her now,” Pablo said. “There is little time. I am sorry thou hast this,
Inglés.” “Since
I have it—” Robert Jordan said. “Let us not speak of it. But use thy head.
Thou hast
much head. Use it.” “Why
would I not?” said Pablo. “Talk now fast, Inglés. There is no time.” Pablo
went over to the nearest tree and watched down the slope, across the slope and
up the road across the gorge. Pablo was looking at the gray horse on the
slope with true
regret on his face and Pilar and Maria were with Robert Jordan where he sat against
the tree trunk. “Slit
the trouser, will thee?” he said to Pilar. Maria crouched by him and did not
speak. The
sun was on her hair and her face was twisted as a child’s contorts before it
cries. But
she was not crying. Pilar
took her knife and slit his trouser leg down below the lefthand pocket.
Robert Jordan
spread the cloth with his hands and looked at the stretch of his thigh. Ten
inches below
the hip joint there was a pointed, purple swelling like a sharp-peaked little
tent and
as he touched it with his fingers he could feel the snapped-off thigh bone
tight against
the skin. His leg was lying at an odd angle. He looked up at Pilar. Her face
had the
same expression as Maria’s. “Anda,”
he said to her. “Go.” She
went away with her head down without saying anything nor looking back and Robert
Jordan could see her shoulders shaking. “Guapa,”
he said to Maria and took hold of her two hands. “Listen. We will not be going
to Madrid—” Then
she started to cry. “No,
guapa, don’t,” he said. “Listen. We will not go to Madrid now but I go always
with thee
wherever thou goest. Understand?” She
said nothing and pushed her head against his cheek with her arms around him. “Listen
to this well, rabbit,” he said. He knew there was a great hurry and he was sweating
very much, but this had to be said and understood. “Thou wilt go now, rabbit.
But
I go with thee. As long as there is one of us there is both of us. Do you
understand?” “Nay,
I stay with thee.” “Nay,
rabbit. What I do now I do alone. I could not do it well with thee. If thou
goest then
I go, too. Do you not see how it is? Whichever one there is, is both.” “I
will stay with thee.” “Nay,
rabbit. Listen. That people cannot do together. Each one must do it alone.
But if thou
goest then I go with thee. It is in that way that I go too. Thou wilt go now,
I know. For
thou art good and kind. Thou wilt go now for us both.” “But
it is easier if I stay with thee,” she said. “It is better for me.” “Yes.
Therefore go for a favor. Do it for me since it is what thou canst do.” “But
you don’t understand, Roberto. What about me? It is worse for me to go.” “Surely,”
he said. “It is harder for thee. But I am thee also now.” She
said nothing. He
looked at her and he was sweating heavily and he spoke now, trying harder to
do something
than he had ever tried in all his life. “Now
you will go for us both,” he said. “You must not be selfish, rabbit. You must
do your
duty now.” She
shook her head. “You
are me now,” he said. “Surely thou must feel it, rabbit. “Rabbit,
listen,” he said. “Truly thus I go too. I swear it to thee.” She
said nothing. “Now
you see it,” he said. “Now I see it is clear. Now thou wilt go. Good. Now you
are going.
Now you have said you will go.” She
had said nothing. “Now
I thank thee for it. Now you are going well and fast and far and we both go
in thee.
Now put thy hand here. Now put thy head down. Nay, put it down. That is
right. Now
I put my hand there. Good. Thou art so good. Now do not think more. Now art
thou doing
what thou should. Now thou art obeying. Not me but us both. The me in thee.
Now you
go for us both. Truly. We both go in thee now. This I have promised thee.
Thou art very
good to go and very kind.” He
jerked his head at Pablo, who was half-looking at him from the tree and Pablo
started
over. He motioned with his thumb to Pilar. “We
will go to Madrid another time, rabbit,” he said. “Truly. Now stand up and go
and we
both go. Stand up. See?” “No,”
she said and held him tight around the neck. He
spoke now still calmly and reasonably but with great authority. “Stand
up,” he said. “Thou art me too now. Thou art all there will be of me. Stand
up.” She
stood up slowly, crying, and with her head down. Then she dropped quickly beside
him and then stood up again, slowly and tiredly, as he said, “Stand up,
guapa.” Pilar was holding her by the arm and she was
standing there. “Vamonos,”
Pilar said. “Dost lack anything, Inglés?” She looked at him and shook her head.
“No,”
he said and went on talking to Maria. “There
is no good-by, guapa, because we are not apart. That it should be good in the
Gredos.
Go now. Go good. Nay,” he spoke now still calmly and reasonably as Pilar walked
the girl along. “Do not turn around. Put thy foot in. Yes. Thy foot in. Help
her up,” he
said to Pilar. “Get her in the saddle. Swing up now.” He
turned his head, sweating, and looked down the slope, then back toward where
the girl
was in the saddle with Pilar by her and Pablo just behind. “Now go,” he said.
“Go.” She
started to look around. “Don’t look around,” Robert Jordan said. “Go.” And
Pablo hit
the horse across the crupper with a hobbling strap and it looked as though
Maria tried
to slip from the saddle but Pilar and Pablo were riding close up against her
and Pilar
was holding her and the three horses were going up the draw. “Roberto,”
Maria turned and shouted. “Let me stay! Let me stay!” “I
am with thee,” Robert Jordan shouted. “I am with thee now. We are both there.
Go!” Then
they were out of sight around the corner of the draw and he was soaking wet
with sweat
and looking at nothing. Agustín
was standing by him. “Do
you want me to shoot thee, Inglés?” he asked, leaning down close. “Quieres?
It is nothing.”
“No
hace falta,” Robert Jordan said. “Get along. I am very well here.” “Me
cago en la leche que me han dado!” Agustín said. He was crying so he could
not see
Robert Jordan clearly. “Salud, Inglés.” “Salud,
old one,” Robert Jordan said. He was looking down the slope now. “Look well after
the cropped head, wilt thou?” “There
is no problem,” Agustín said. “Thou has what thou needest?” “There
are very few shells for this máquina, so I will keep it,” Robert Jordan said.
“Thou
canst now get more. For that other and the one of Pablo, yes.” “I
cleaned out the barrel,” Agustín said. “Where thou plugged it in the dirt
with the fall.” “What
became of the pack-horse?” “The
gypsy caught it.” Agustín
was on the horse now but he did not want to go. He leaned far over toward the
tree where Robert Jordan lay. “Go
on, viejo,” Robert Jordan said to him. “In war there are many things like
this.” “Qué
puta es Ia guerra,” Agustín said. “War is a bitchery.” “Yes,
man, yes. But get on with thee.” “Salud,
Inglés,” Agustín said, clenching his right fist. “Salud,”
Robert Jordan said. “But get along, man.” Agustín
wheeled his horse and brought his right fist down as though he cursed again with
the motion of it and rode up the draw. All the others had been out of sight
long before.
He looked back where the draw turned in the timber and waved his fist. Robert
Jordan
waved and then Agustín, too, was out of sight.. . . Robert Jordan looked down
the
green slope of the hillside to the road and the bridge. I’m as well this way
as any, he thought.
It wouldn’t be worth risking getting over on my belly yet, not as close as
that thing
was to the surface, and I can see better this way. He
felt empty and drained and exhausted from all of it and from them going and
his mouth
tasted of bile. Now, finally and at last, there was no problem. however all
of it had been
and however all of it would ever be now, for him, no longer was there any
problem. They
were all gone now and he was alone with his back against a tree. He looked down
across the green slope, seeing the gray horse where Agustín had shot him, and
on
down the slope to the road with the timber-covered country behind it. Then he
looked at
the bridge and across the bridge and watched the activity on the bridge and
the road. He
could see the trucks now, all down the lower road. The gray of the trucks
showed through
the trees. Then he looked back up the road to where it came down over the
hill. They
will be coming soon now, he thought. Pilar
will take care of her as well as any one can. You know that. Pablo must have
a sound
plan or he would not have tried it. You do not have to worry about Pablo. It
does no
good to think about Maria. Try to believe what you told her. That is the
best. And who says
it is not true? Not you. You don’t say it, any more than you would say the
things did not
happen that happened. Stay with what you believe now. Don’t get cynical. The
time is
too short and you have just sent her away. Each one does what he can. You can
do nothing
for yourself but perhaps you can do something for another. Well, we had all
our luck
in four days. Not four days. It was afternoon when I first got there and it
will not be noon
today. That makes not quite three days and three nights. Keep it accurate, he
said. Quite
accurate. I
think you better get down now, he thought. You better get fixed around some
way where
you will be useful instead of leaning against this tree like a tramp. You
have had much
luck. There are many worse things than this. Every one has to do this, one
day or another.
You are not afraid of it once you know you have to do it, are you? No, he
said, truly.
It was lucky the nerve was crushed, though. I cannot even feel that there is anything
below the break. He touched the lower part of his leg and it was as though it
were
not part of his body. He
looked down the hill slope again and he thought, I hate to leave it, is all.
I hate to leave
it very much and I hope I have done some good in it. I have tried to with
what talent
I had. Have, you mean. All right, have. I
have fought for what I believed in for a year now. If we win here we will win
everywhere.
The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave
it. And you had a lot of luck, he told himself, to have had such a good life.
You’ve had
just as good a life as grandfather’s though not as long. You’ve had as good a
life as any
one because of these last days. You do not want to complain when you have
been so
lucky. I wish there was some way to pass on what I’ve learned, though.
Christ, I was learning
fast there at the end. I’d like to talk to Karkov. That is in Madrid. Just
over the hills
there, and down across the plain. Down out of the gray rocks and the pines,
the heather
and the gorse, across the yellow high plateau you see it rising white and beautiful.
That part is just as true as Pilar’s old women drinking the blood down at the
slaughterhouse.
There’s no one thing that’s true. It’s all true. The way the planes are beautiful
whether they are ours or theirs. The hell they are, he thought. You
take it easy, now, he said. Get turned over now while you still have time.
Listen, one
thing. Do you remember? Pilar and the hand? Do you believe that crap? No, he said.
Not with everything that’s happened? No, I don’t believe it. She was nice
about it early
this morning before the show started. She was afraid maybe I believed it. I
don’t, though.
But she does. They see something. Or they feel something. Like a bird dog. What
about extra-sensory perception? What about obscenity? he said. She wouldn’t
say good-by,
he thought, because she knew if she did Maria would never go. That Pilar. Get
yourself
turned over, Jordan. But he was reluctant to try it. Then
he remembered that he had the small flask in his hip pocket and he thought,
I’ll take
a good spot of the giant killer and then I’ll try it. But the flask was not
there when he felt
for it. Then he felt that much more alone because he knew there was not going
to be even
that. I guess I’d counted on that, he said. Do
you suppose Pablo took it? Don’t be silly. You must have lost it at the
bridge. “Come
on now, Jordan,” he said. “Over you go.” Then
he took hold of his left leg with both hands and pulled on it hard, pulling
toward the
foot while he lay down beside the tree he had been resting his back against.
Then lying
flat and pulling hard on the leg, so the broken end of the bone would not
come up and
cut through the thigh, he turned slowly around on his rump until the back of
his head was
facing downhill. Then with his broken leg, held by both hands, uphill, he put
the sole of
his right foot against the instep of his left foot and pressed hard while he
rolled, sweating,
over onto his face and chest. He got onto his elbows, stretched the left leg well
behind him with both hands and a far, sweating, push with the right foot and
there he
was. He felt with his fingers on the left thigh and it was all right. The
bone end had not
punctured the skin and the broken end was well into the muscle now. The
big nerve must have been truly smashed when that damned horse rolled on it,
he thought.
It truly doesn’t hurt at all. Except now in certain changes of positions.
That’s when
the bone pinches something else. You see? he said. You see what luck is? You didn’t
need the giant killer at all. He
reached over for the submachine gun, took the clip out that was in the
magazine, felt
in his pocket for clips, opened the action and looked through the barrel, put
the clip back
into the groove of the magazine until it clicked, and then looked down the
hill slope. Maybe
half an hour, he thought. Now take it easy. Then
he looked at the hillside and he looked at the pines and he tried not to
think at all.
Then
he looked at the stream and he remembered how it had been under the bridge in
the
cool of the shadow. I wish they would come, he thought. I do not want to get
in any sort
of mixed-up state before they come. Who
do you suppose has it easier? Ones with religion or just taking it straight?
It comforts
them very much but we know there is no thing to fear. It is only missing it
that’s bad.
Dying is only bad when it takes a long time and hurts so much that it
humiliates you.
That is where you have all the luck, see? You don’t have any of that. It’s
wonderful they’ve got away. I don’t mind this at all now they are away. It is
sort of the
way I said. It is really very much that way. Look how different it would be
if they were all
scattered out across that hill where that gray horse is. Or if we were all
cooped up here
waiting for it. No. They’re gone. They’re away. Now if the attack were only a
success.
What do you want? Everything. I want everything and I will take whatever I
get. If
this attack is no good another one will be. I never noticed when the planes
came back. God,
that was lucky I could make her go. I’d
like to tell grandfather about this one. I’ll bet he never had to go over and
find his people
and do a show like this. How do you know? He may have done fifty. No, he
said. Be
accurate. Nobody did any fifty like this one. Nobody did five. Nobody did one
maybe not
just like this. Sure. They must have. I
wish they would come now, he said. I wish they would come right now because
the leg
is starting to hurt now. It must be the swelling. We
were going awfully good when that thing hit us, he thought. But it was only
luck it didn’t
come while I was under the bridge. When a thing is wrong something’s bound to
happen.
You were bitched when they gave Golz those orders. That was what you knew and
it was probably that which Pilar felt. But later on we will have these things
much better
organized. We ought to have portable short wave transmitters. Yes, there’s a
lot of
things we ought to have. I ought to carry a spare leg, too. He
grinned at that sweatily because the leg, where the big nerve had been
bruised by the
fall, was hurting badly now. Oh, let them come, he said. I don’t want to do
that business
that my father did. I will do it all right but I’d much prefer not to have
to. I’m against
that. Don’t think about that. Don’t think at all. I wish the bastards would
come, he said.
I wish so very much they’d come. His
leg was hurting very badly now. The pain had started suddenly with the
swelling after
he had moved and he said, Maybe I’ll just do it now. I guess I’m not awfully
good at pain.
Listen, if I do that now you wouldn’t misunderstand, would you? Who are you talking
to? Nobody, he said. Grandfather, I guess. No. Nobody. Oh bloody it, I wish
that they
would come. Listen,
I may have to do that because if I pass out or anything like that I am no good
at all
and if they bring me to they will ask me a lot of questions and do things and
all and that
is no good. It’s much best not to have them do those things. So why wouldn’t
it be all
right to just do it now and then the whole thing would be over with? Because
oh, listen,
yes, listen, let them come now. You’re
not good at this, Jordan, he said. Not so good at this. And who is so good at
this?
I don’t know and I don’t really care right now. But you are not. That’s
right. You’re not
at all. Oh not at all, at all. I think it would be all right to do it now?
Don’t you? No,
it isn’t. Because there is something you can do yet. As long as you know what
it is you
have to do it. As long as you remember what it is you have to wait for that.
Come on.
Let them come. Let them come. Let them come! Think
about them being away, he said. Think about them going through the timber. Think
about them crossing a creek. Think about them riding through the heather.
Think about
them going up the slope. Think about them O.K. tonight. Think about them travelling,
all night. Think about them hiding up tomorrow. Think about them. God damn it,
think about them. That’s just as far as I can think about them, he said. Think
about Montana. I can’t. Think about Madrid. I can’t. Think about a cool drink
of water.
All right. That’s what it will be like. Like a cool drink of water. You’re a
liar. It will just
be nothing. That’s all it will be. Just nothing. Then do it. Do it. Do it
now. It’s all right to
do it now. Go on and do it now. No, you have to wait. What for? You know all
right. Then
wait. I
can’t wait any longer now, he said. If I wait any longer I’ll pass out. I
know because I’ve
felt it starting to go three times now and I’ve held it. I held it all right.
But I don’t know about
any more. What I think is you’ve got an internal hemorrhage there from where
that thigh
bone’s cut around inside. Especially on that turning business. That makes the
swelling
and that’s what weakens you and makes you start to pass. It would be all
right to
do it now. Really, I’m telling you that it would be all right. And
if you wait and hold them up even a little while or just get the officer that
may make
all the difference. One thing well done can make— All
right, he said. And he lay very quietly and tried to hold on to himself that
he felt slipping
away from himself as you feel snow starting to slip sometimes on a mountain slope,
and he said, now quietly, then let me last until they come. Robert
Jordan’s luck held very good because he saw, just then, the cavalry ride out
of the
timber and cross the road. He watched them coming riding up the slope. He saw
the trooper
who stopped by the gray horse and shouted to the officer who rode over to
him. He
watched them both looking down at the gray horse. They recognized him of
course. He
and his rider had been missing since the early morning of the day before. Robert
Jordan saw them there on the slope, close to him now, and below he saw the road
and the bridge and the long lines of vehicles below it. He was completely integrated
now and he took a good long look at everything. Then he looked up at the sky.
There were big white clouds in it. He touched the palm of his hand against
the pine needles
where he lay and he touched the bark of the pine trunk that he lay behind. Then
he rested easily as he could with his two elbows in the pine needles and the muzzle
of the submachine gun resting against the trunk of the pine tree. As
the officer came trotting now on the trail of the horses of the band he would
pass twenty
yards below where Robert Jordan lay. At that distance there would be no problem.
The officer was Lieutenant Berrendo. He had come up from La Granja when they
had been ordered up after the first report of the attack on the lower post.
They had ridden
hard and had then had to swing back, because the bridge had been blown, to cross
the gorge high above and come around through the timber. Their horses were
wet and
blown and they had to be urged into the trot. Lieutenant
Berrendo, watching the trail, came riding up, his thin face serious and grave.
His submachine gun lay across his saddle in the crook of his left arm. Robert
Jordan
lay behind the tree, holding onto himself very carefully and delicately to
keep his hands
steady. He was waiting until the officer reached the sunlit place where the
first trees
of the pine forest joined the green slope of the meadow. He could feel his
heart beating
against the pine needle floor of the forest. |